Outlaw Virtue (Rough Jesters MC Book 7)

by Brook Wilder

  Still, I was already acutely aware of changes in my body. My breasts felt heavier (just what I needed) and I was falling asleep way before the time I used to. Even teaching wore me out and with kindergarteners, that wasn’t something I needed.

  I had done a little bit of research online and adjusted some of my diet, hoping that it would help give me some energy.

  That and Jonathan had done some research as well. A grin spread across my lips as I thought about how he had treated me the last month. He was far more attentive that I had anticipated, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing at all. He made sure I ate properly and rubbed my feet whenever he was over, something I was sorely going to miss when this pregnancy was over with.

  But we had moved from just tearing up the sheets to really learning a little bit about each other. While I didn’t ask him about his childhood, we talked about our hopes and dreams for the future, learning each other’s likes and dislikes.

  And we talked a lot about what our child would grow up like. He was already talking about private schools and sports, which I thought was pretty funny considering we didn’t even know the gender yet.

  All in all, he seemed super excited about this pregnancy and it made me fall in love with him just a little more every time his eyes lit up talking about our future.

  Our future. I secretly hoped it was far more than us just being parents and raising this child together. Somewhere I had lost my heart to my bad-boy biker.

  I was scared. This was far more than I had experienced with Brad. This was permanent, what we were experiencing.

  This would tie us together forever.

  We hadn’t talked about a future beyond our child, or if he really wanted a future with me.

  I didn’t know what to feel, really.

  Headlights shone in the window and I got off the couch, walking to the door and opening it as Jonathan pulled into the driveway on his bike.

  Gah, my heart couldn’t take it! Most evenings, when he wasn’t working at night, he was over at my house now, not at his, but he hadn’t spent the night with me.

  Nor had he touched me in any other way other than a kiss here and there.

  Or rubbing my feet.

  Was he scared? The doctor had told me that I could still have relations without harming the baby.

  I craved his touch and as more time went by, I started dreaming about Jonathan touching my body.

  After all, that was all I had. Dreams.

  Jonathan pulled the bags of food out of his saddlebags before walking up to me, holding them out proudly. “I bring you food, madam.”

  “Thank you, kind sir,” I smiled, taking the bags. “Won’t you come in?”

  Jonathan mockingly bowed. “I would be honored.”

  Stepping aside, I allowed him to enter before I closed the door, throwing the locks out of habit. Jonathan stripped off his vest and I watched in part fascination, part worry as he removed the holster that rested at his sides, both occupied with his guns. While I was used to having them in my home, the sight of him wearing them for his own protection sent a shiver down my spine, reminding me that what Jonathan did was highly dangerous.

  “Hey.”

  Realizing I had been staring, I blinked back the concern. “Sorry. I have something cool to show you.”

  “By all means,” he said.

  Excited, I grabbed the stethoscope and box from the table, motioning for him to join me on the couch.

  Jonathan did just that and I pulled up my shirt, exposing my stomach. After sticking the stethoscope in my ears, I moved the dial around until I found what I was looking for. “Here,” I said, pulling the tubes out of my ears and handing them to him. “Put them on.”

  He did so and I watched the range of emotions cross his handsome face as he heard his kid’s heartbeat. We had done that. We had created this life inside me.

  “Wow,” he said, pulling them out of his ears. “That is amazing.”

  “I thought so,” I answered, setting the equipment on the coffee table. “If only we had an ultrasound machine, we could see it as well.”

  Jonathan chuckled. “I think that would cost a bit more than what you have there.”

  “Can you believe it?” I asked, resting my hand on the bare patch of skin where I knew our child lay. “It’s crazy, you know, thinking that I am carrying a life inside me.”

  He reached over and covered my hand with his scarred one. “I know,” Jonathan said roughly. “I can’t even think how this happened.”

  I smirked. “Oh, we know how it happened.”

  He returned my smirk with a grin of his own. “That’s not what I meant. All my life, I never thought about kids, Leigh. Hell, I shouldn’t even procreate given my own childhood.”

  His words tore at me. “There’s not anyone on this earth I could imagine having this child with other than you, Jonathan. I hope you know how special this is for me.”

  “I know,” he said quietly. “But I can’t even begin to tell you how much this means to me.”

  My eyes filled with tears. “Jonathan.”

  His hand caressed mine lightly. “I promise you. This kid will not want for anything. I will be here every step of the way, through every vomit, every contraction, every middle-of-the-night cry. You aren’t going to do this alone, Leigh.”

  No matter how many times he said those words, I felt the same level of emotion well up inside my body. I didn’t know how this would work out once the baby was born or how we would do the whole co-parenting thing if we didn’t end up together, but just knowing he would be there warmed my heart. I didn’t have to do this alone.

  But I also wanted to work on having him in my life as more than my baby daddy. Right now, Jonathan was treating me like I was a glass castle. It was time to take this into my own hands. “You haven’t kissed me yet.”

  His eyes darkened with intensity, the sudden change in conversation charging the air around us. “I haven’t, have I?”

  My heart cranked up a notch. “No.”

  Jonathan leaned over until we were nose to nose with each other. “That is something I will need to rectify then.”

  My eyes fluttered close as his lips brushed against mine, sending waves of white-hot desire through my body. I reached out and pulled him closer, my hands fisted in his T-shirt.

  I wanted him badly.

  “What are you doing, Leigh?” he mumbled against my lips as I moved my hands from his shirt to his hair, knocking his hat off his head and onto the floor.

  “I need you,” I gasped as his lips traveled along my jawline. “Please, Jonathan.” I didn’t want to be rejected. I wanted to be held, to be kissed, to be loved.

  Even if it was just for tonight.

  “What about supper?”

  “The hell with supper.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  ***

  A little while later, I lay in my bed, Jonathan’s head resting against my stomach as I ran my hands through his hair. My body was still heated from our escapade, though I knew Jonathan had held back his usual vigor.

  Probably because of the baby. I didn’t care. I had gotten what I wanted, even if it had been different.

  Now, light snores were emanating from Jonathan, his body relaxed in sleep. I didn’t want to move lest I wake him. I hadn’t overlooked the dark circles under his eyes, the tired look he had on his face whenever he came over.

  Something was eating at him and I doubted it had to do with me.

  Running a hand over his soft hair, I sighed inwardly. When had he become someone so special to me? My heart literally squeezed in my chest as I thought about whatever it was with the club that could put him in danger. I couldn’t lose him.

  Not now. I wanted a future with Jonathan. Far too long I had tried to decide what my future was going to be, how I was going to prove to everyone that Brad hadn’t broken me.

  Now I felt like I might have secured my future without much planning.

  Looking down at the sleeping biker, I knew in
my heart I had to protect him just as much as I had to protect this child growing inside me. I couldn’t let anyone take my future away from me, nor could I let him walk away if he felt the need to do so to protect us.

  There was a time in my life that I thought I wouldn’t be happy. It started shortly after Brad started hitting me, when I would muffle my sobs while he snored next to me and pray that I could just die to end the misery. Those were the lowest of the low times for me and more than once, I had thought about taking my own life to rid myself of the pain.

  Now I realized that I had been kept around for a reason, a reason like this moment, where I would realize that I had fallen in love with a man who was the complete and total opposite of me but had given me a gift beyond measure.

  I had to protect that gift at all costs.

  Chapter 11

  Two Tone

  I swiped another coat of varnish along the wood, giving it a critical eye. What no one knew about me was that I tinkered with wood every once in a while, something I had gotten into when my cabinets needed to be replaced and I didn’t want to pay the shitload of money that they wanted to charge me.

  So, I had done some research and did them myself. Ever since then, I had built a few bookshelves and even a dining room table.

  But I had never built a crib. The idea had come to me one night as Leigh had shown me the space she was going to use for the baby and since I wanted to contribute something, the crib sounded like a good idea.

  I was quite proud of what I had come up with. The gleaming cherrywood would go with either a boy or a girl and hold up much better than those shitty ones in the box. I had even gotten a little creative with it, making it able to convert into a small twin bed when the time came.

  Maybe I should start selling these.

  Smirking, I ran the rag over the railing once more, ensuring that there was nothing that would catch or splinter. I wasn’t gonna lie. I was excited about the baby. Leigh was starting to show and every time I saw her, I couldn’t help but touch her small bump.

  That was my kid.

  It was also my future. Leigh was my future.

  Stepping back, I thought about what I was considering. I had to be able to protect them, which meant I wanted us to move in together. I just didn’t know how to approach it with her.

  Or what I was gonna do about my club business. I had to kill Mac. That was a given, but after that, I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

  If I wanted to stay in the club at all. Priorities changed and mine sure had with this kid.

  I just wasn’t so sure what I wanted to do yet.

  ***

  After Leigh got home from school, I carried the crib over to her house, feeling like Superman as she burst into tears at the sight. “You made this?” she asked as I carried it into the room, setting it against the wall.

  “Yeah,” I answered. “I did.”

  Her fingers trailed over the wood. “It’s beautiful, Jonathan, really. I’m speechless.”

  “That’s a first,” I teased, my chest tight at her happiness. This was what I always wanted to see on her face.

  She launched herself at me, hugging me tightly. “Thank you.”

  I held her close, soaking in her warmth. Leigh was far too good for me. A better man would have never gotten tangled up with her, but I wasn’t about to abandon her now, especially not with her being pregnant with my kid.

  Pulling back, I got down on my knees and pressed my cheek to her stomach. “You see that, kid? Your old man built you a crib. I can’t wait to see you sleeping in it.”

  Leigh’s hand drifted over my hair and I allowed myself this one moment where the club business and the black marks on my soul didn’t matter. Everything that mattered in my life was right here in front of me.

  My cell buzzed in my pocket and I got off my knees, giving Leigh an apologetic look as I fished it out. It was a text from Chains. Mac was on the move. “I gotta go,” I said regretfully.

  “Okay,” she said, wrapping her arms around her stomach. “You will be there for the ultrasound tomorrow?”

  I nodded. I wouldn’t miss a chance to see our kid for the world. “I will be there.”

  She gave me a small smile and I almost thought about telling Chains I wasn’t available. Then we would go to her bed and I would feast on that body I knew every inch of, losing myself in her softness. I just had to kill Mac myself and then this would all be over.

  “Be careful, Jonathan.”

  I pulled her to me, pressing a kiss to her brow. “I will. I swear it. See you tomorrow.”

  ***

  Twelve hours later, I held the binoculars up to my eyes and zeroed in, a grin sliding across my face.

  Mac was there. He had been in my sights for the last two hours, lounging on the front porch of the house he was occupying. Sometimes he smoked, sometimes he stared off in the distance, as if he knew I was watching him.

  As much as I wanted to storm the house, I couldn’t. There were only a handful of Jesters with me and the house itself was heavily guarded with former Jesters, all armed to the teeth. I hadn’t known I was going to be this damn lucky in finding Mac so none of us had brought a gun with the capability of taking him out from here.

  So, we were forced to wait for reinforcements.

  “You think we could take out the trucks?” Halftrack asked, motioning toward the convoy that was in the driveway. “That would create a diversion long enough for us to get close.”

  I shook my head. “It might create a diversion, but we will still be sitting ducks. I hate this as much as you do but we can’t take the casualties.” The Jesters were already spread thin as it was.

  “Shit,” Halftrack said, running a hand through his hair roughly. “But he’s fucking right there.”

  Yeah, I knew how he felt. Mac was so close I could feel the end was near, but I couldn’t do anything about it but watch and wait.

  Glancing at my wrist, I saw that we had another hour before reinforcements could even be here. “Check in on the spotters,” I stated. “Make sure Mac doesn’t leave that fucking house.”

  “Got it,” Halftrack said, wandering back to the bike where his radio sat. We had sent some of the others around the perimeter, scouting out all the possible escape routes and covering them in case Mac decided to run.

  I rolled my shoulders, feeling the tightness in my muscles. I hated this waiting around, wanting to get this over with so I could be done with this shit. I was tired of being one-upped by Mac, tired of having to traipse all over the state of Texas and beyond trying to right what was wrong.

  And for some reason, I didn’t feel like I was gonna get him today either. It all seemed too easy, like he was waiting on something else.

  That something else showed its ugly face five minutes later.

  The first sound of the chopper had me grabbing my binoculars, watching as it landed right in front of the house. Mac climbed in and I swore, knowing that by the time we got down there, it would be gone.

  That had been what he was waiting for. “Shit!” I yelled, throwing the binoculars into the dirt as the chopper took off over the trees, out of range of any sort of bullets we had.

  He had escaped again.

  Frustrated, I radioed to the rest of the bikers to pack it up. There was no need to hit the house and run the risk of getting into a gunfight we couldn’t win.

  Then I texted Chains, telling him to turn his cargo around as well. Our shot had been blown.

  But just as I sent the text to him, another came through, one that had me cussing again.

  It was from Leigh. I had missed her appointment.

  Shit. I hadn’t wanted to; I had wanted to be there.

  Now I was gonna have to make it up to her.

  So, after going back to the clubhouse and dropping off everything, I headed to her place with supper, rehearsing the words of apology in my head. She opened the door at my first knock, crossing her arms over her chest. “You didn’t come.”

  “I’m sor
ry,” I blurted out. “I got caught up with work.”

  The hurt in her eyes was hard to ignore. “You promised you would be there.”

  I reached out, pulling her toward me. I was hot, sweaty, and fucking tired, but knowing that she was pissed off at me overrode all of it. “I’m sorry. I can’t say it enough.”

  She remained stiff in my arms. “You stink. You need a shower.”