Outlaw Virtue (Rough Jesters MC Book 7)

by Brook Wilder

  “I’m not doing it for you,” she stated, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m doing it because that woman in there told me that Mr. Andrews overstepped his bounds. He tried to bait you, didn’t he?”

  “He’s an asshole,” I growled, giving her a look. “I won’t stand for him scaring her. You know what she has gone through.”

  “What are you doing, Jonathan?” she asked softly. “This isn’t the chief talking, but a friend. Does Chains know?”

  I nodded. “I know what I am doing.”

  Alisha chuckled. “Clearly not. You got her knocked up. Seth is going to have a field day with this when I tell him.” She then smiled. “Congrats. I can’t imagine you holding a baby, but Ms. Greene seems happy with you so I’m sure you will learn.”

  “Thanks,” I grinned. “It wasn’t planned.”

  “It never is,” she answered before smothering a yawn. “All right, I’m going home. It’s been a long day. Please stay away from Mr. Andrews. He doesn’t know the bear he has poked, and I really, really don’t want to have to investigate his death.”

  “I will as long as he stays away from here,” I answered. “How’s Chuckler?”

  “Seth is fine,” she corrected. “He’s a great housewife.”

  Laughing, I tried to picture Seth doing household work. “God, I hope you have a maid’s outfit for him.”

  The corner of her mouth lifted. “No, but there is one at home. Maybe I should get him in it.”

  We shared a smile before I stuck out my hand. “Thanks, Alisha, really.”

  She shook it. “Good luck, Jonathan. Leigh is very nice. I hope it works out; I really do. We all deserve to be happy.”

  After saying goodbye, I entered the house, finding Leigh sitting on the couch, the blanket tucked around her. I took a seat next to her, concerned at what she might ask. I wouldn’t hide anything from her, but hell, I was going to hate to tell her some of it.

  “The chief of police is married to a former biker,” she said after a moment.

  “Yeah,” I answered. “Seth is a good guy. They are happy.”

  “So I gathered,” Leigh answered, looking at me. “There’s a lot about you, about the club you, that I don’t know, Jonathan, and it scares me.”

  I understood her fear. Hell, I was scared to even let her see that side of my world, for fear that she might hate what she saw. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

  Leigh shook her head. “I really don’t want to know any of it. I only want to know this side of you Jonathan, not Two Tone or whoever you are when you walk out of this house. I just, I really need for you to come home every night, all right?”

  I pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. “I know, darling, I know, and I will, every single night until you tell me to quit coming home.”

  “Never,” she said, leaning into my touch.

  We sat there for a while, neither of us talking until Leigh pulled away. “I do have a question.”

  I steeled myself against her words. “Okay.”

  “Is your club name because your ass is white while the rest of you is tanned?”

  I burst into laughter at her cheeky smile, feeling some of the tension leave the room. “No, it’s not. It’s just a name.”

  “Well, it makes sense,” she answered as she stood. “Come on. I’m tired. Let’s go to bed.”

  I stood as well, turning off the TV before grabbing her hand and squeezing it. “All right, let’s go.” This night had nearly been a nightmare for me, thinking about what could have happened if another cop had responded to the complaint and not Alisha.

  Likely I wouldn’t be holding Leigh’s hand right now, leading her to the bedroom. No, I would be far away from her, unable to protect her from everything that could cause danger to her and my unborn kid.

  She needed me and I knew that. The problem was, until Mac was dead, no one was safe. No one, not even Leigh, was safe from him and the rest of the former Jesters.

  I might have pulled back from that asshole today, but I wouldn’t for anyone else. If they posed a threat, I wouldn’t hesitate to kill in order to protect what was mine.

  Chapter 14

  Leigh

  I really tried not to think about what had happened between Nathan and Jonathan over the next few days, grateful for the school break so that I didn’t have to face Nathan. I threw myself into the nursery, starting to ready it for our child. I had decided that I didn’t want to find out the gender, wanting to be surprised, so I had picked neutral colors for the nursery to prepare for either gender.

  Now, if there were twins inside, I would be up the creek. I felt like there were twins inside my stomach, especially given how hungry I suddenly was. It was crazy the amount of food I craved on a regular basis.

  But eating was the least of my concerns. As much as I didn’t want to have any reservations about Jonathan, the incident with Nathan and subsequent visit from the chief of police had made me rethink everything. I had been with someone who had abused his power to the highest degree before, someone who thought he was above the law.

  While Jonathan lived a life that was dangerous, knowing that he had an out in the police force put him in that category and I hated it. I didn’t want to compare Jonathan to Brad but I couldn’t help it. What if he turned that nasty angry streak he had on me?

  Who would they believe?

  The doubt started to eat at me little by little as I remembered the fear I had lived with Brad before all of this happened and how he had thrown around that power until I had been afraid to speak up at all.

  I grimaced as I pulled myself out of the bathtub, hating the fact that I could see every bruise that was on my body. Brad was somewhere else right now, conducting business that had to be illegal, and I couldn’t be happier that he was far away from me.

  It wasn’t because I was afraid he would see me cry. I had stopped crying over him a long time ago, realizing that tears only made me weak in his eyes. It didn’t make him feel bad for the pain he inflicted on me nor did it make my relationship with him any better.

  If nothing else, he mocked me for my tears.

  No, it was because I had thought tonight, for a brief moment, that I could actually kill him and not feel sorry about it. No one would ever believe the fact that the chief of police beat up on his girlfriend. He had them fooled just like the rest of the town, believing that he was some sort of saint for the arrests he made.

  What they didn’t know was that he was just as crooked as the criminals he put away. I knew that, having figured out that the creeps that hung around the house weren’t just undercover cops.

  That was what he had told me to begin with, and gullible Leigh had believed him.

  It hadn’t taken long for me to realize that they were, in fact, cartel members. The day that Brad realized that I knew what he was doing was the most painful day of my life. He beat me, as per his usual behavior when I did something he didn’t like, but he also threatened that no one would believe what was known to be the truth.

  He told me that they would laugh and send me on my way.

  And any attention I put on him would come back to me, tenfold.

  So I pushed it aside, taking small notes whenever I could and tucking them far in the recesses of my mind for later, when I would get the one-up on him.

  That day would come, I knew it, and likely come faster than he realized.

  Wrapping the towel around my body, I stared at the woman in the mirror, the woman with haunted eyes. I didn’t use to be like this. I had goals, ambitions. I had thought about my future, and this certainly wasn’t it.

  If I left now, however, he would make my life miserable. I could never get far enough away.

  He would likely kill me.

  Lifting my chin, I tucked those thoughts back into their little box in my mind, throwing away the key for now. There would come a day that this all would come to a head.

  I just hoped I survived it.

  I shook out of the memory, dr
awing in a deep breath to cleanse my mind of those old, hurtful feelings. I had survived. When all the cards had been stacked against me, I had pulled through. I had learned the hard way how to be a survivor and I wasn’t about to go down that road again.

  Oh God, I didn’t want to think this way about Jonathan! He had never once shown any amount of anger in my presence until the other day. I could see it in his eyes, feel it in his tone, and briefly, I had been transported back to my time with Brad.

  Was the honeymoon period over?

  Was I looking at the true Jonathan?

  My hand slid down to my protruding stomach. Now I had more than just a relationship with him. I was carrying his child.

  The stakes were higher this time, much higher.

  What was I going to do? Biting my lip, I thought about our last text exchange, which was earlier today. He was on some special assignment for the club and I knew the moment he was finished, he would be over here.

  Jonathan was predictable like that.

  The problem was, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to see him this time.

  Maybe I shouldn’t see him. Maybe it was time to start distancing myself so that when the truth dropped, when the newness wore off and I was faced with the real Jonathan, leaving him would be so much easier.

  It would break my heart. I was completely in love with Jonathan. It wasn’t just because he was the father of my baby, either. I had fallen in love with him before that.

  But in order to protect myself, this was what I needed to do. This was no longer about me. There was a child involved, one that I would protect with my life.

  ***

  Jonathan came over the next day. I opened the door, trying not to let the exhausted, haunted look about him tear away at my plan. This was about me and my future, this child’s future, and I couldn’t allow him to have any sort of hold over me.

  I had already been there, done that, gotten the scars to prove it.

  “Hey,” he said, giving me a tired smile as I shut the door behind him. “How are you feeling?”

  I swallowed the emotion that suddenly bubbled to the surface at his soft words, wrapping my arms around my midsection to remind me of my decision. “We need to talk.”

  His jaw worked. “All right.”

  I looked away, only because I didn’t want to see the anger in his eyes. “I can’t do this.”

  “What exactly?”

  “This thing between us. I mean, we had our fun, but my child is where I need to focus my attention and efforts toward.”

  “You mean our child. That’s my kid too.”

  The hurt in his voice was evident and I forced myself to look at Jonathan. He looked like he was about to blow a gasket, the restrained fury in his eyes nearly causing me to change my mind.

  This was the man I was afraid of. “You’re right,” I said tightly. “And I will make sure you have your rights.”

  “M-my rights?” he forced out. “Are you fucking serious, Leigh?”

  I gave him a short nod, only because I was afraid any other movement would cause me to fall to my knees. “I’m sorry if you thought something else.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest, looking all business. “Can I ask what brought about the sudden change?”

  I knew he was going to ask. I didn’t want to tell him what I really felt like, what really had brought about this ridiculous change of heart. I loved him and I didn’t want to hurt him, but by the look he was giving me, I had already achieved the hurt part. “This isn’t easy for me,” I said in a soft voice.

  He let out a sharp laugh. “You could have fucking fooled me. It seems you have thought about this long and hard.”

  “Jonathan, please,” I said, hugging my waist. “I just—I need my own space. I thought you might understand that.”

  “And I thought …” he said, shaking his head. “Never mind. Apparently it doesn’t matter what I think.”

  It did. I just didn’t know how to lessen the blow while keeping my sanity about myself. He would never know how hard I had fought and clawed my way to my own independence from Brad. He would never understand what I went through and the deep-rooted fear that lived inside of me because of what Brad did to me.

  I couldn’t revert, nor could I go through it again. “I’m sorry,” I said, feeling like it was a poor choice of words regardless.

  There were no words.

  Jonathan just stared at me. “Something is going on with you, Leigh. This ain’t you. Are you—oh hell, are you worried about me killing Nathan?”

  “No,” I said quickly, though the flare of doubt deepened as I thought about how angry and protective Jonathan had been that night. He could have killed him and probably would have if I had not stepped in.

  He shook his head, a chuckle rumbling from his chest. “Yeah, you can’t lie worth shit either. Is that what all this is about?”

  I tried not to throw myself into his arms as he lightly grabbed my upper arms, no force behind his touch. “I’m not gonna do anything to get myself taken away from you or our kid, Leigh. I’m not stupid. I know how to protect myself.”

  “And you have friends in the police department,” I whispered, feeling like I needed to say it.

  I felt Jonathan stiffen before releasing my arms, my skin mourning the loss of his heated touch. How was I going to live without him? “I got it now,” he said tightly, stalking to the door. “You are comparing me to that bastard.”

  I didn’t answer him. There was nothing left to say.

  “I’m not him,” Jonathan bit out. “Not even fucking close, Leigh.”

  Once he had slammed the door behind him, I crumpled to the floor, tears streaking down my cheeks. It shouldn’t hurt this much, letting someone you love walk out the door.

  But there were things wrong, probably with me. I thought I could handle anything thrown my way.

  Right now, I felt like I needed to crawl back into the hole I had come out of internally and never see the light of day.

  Cupping my stomach, I thought about this child inside me, the one that was depending on me. I couldn’t pull the darkness over my head and pretend like the world didn’t exist around me. I stared at the front door, biting my lip hard to dull the pain in my chest. What if I had made a mistake in pushing Jonathan away? What if he had real feelings for me?

  No, I couldn’t second-guess my decision. That was my problem with Brad. I had second-guessed every decision I had ever made with him and had nearly gotten myself killed in the process.

  It was better this way for him, too. Jonathan loved the club. It was his life. Throwing a child into the mix couldn’t bode well for whatever he did with the club and their business.

  So why did I feel so empty inside?

  I couldn’t apologize now. Jonathan probably would look at me like I was crazy. Rubbing a hand over my stomach, I thought about the life growing there. “It’s okay, little one,” I said softly. “I won’t let you down. I swear.” This child was going to keep me going, keep me realizing that I had something to live for, something so precious that I wouldn’t be able to live without it.

  And Jonathan. My heart squeezed when I thought about him, about the look on his face when I told him I needed space.

  He would be someone I wouldn’t be able to just push out of my life. He had rights, and I wasn’t about to keep them from him.

  The problem was, I would have to protect my wounded heart in the process.

  A sob escaped me and I pressed my hand to my mouth, willing the last hour away. I wanted it all to go back to before Nathan got involved, before I found out that Jonathan was in cahoots with the chief of police.

  Why, oh why was my life so complicated? Why couldn’t things be normal for once?

  Chapter 15

  Two Tone

  I rolled over in the bed, fumbling on the nightstand for my cell phone. The sun was already streaming through the bedroom window, signaling another day.

  Except this morning wasn’t the same for me.

 
; Finding my phone, I yanked it from the charger and thumbed to the text messages, seeing that Chains had texted me a few times.

  They had found Mac again.

  Sitting up, I fired off a text, stating I would be there in under an hour. My body felt heavy, my head even heavier after the amount of whiskey I had consumed last night.

  Turned out, all whiskey did was give you a fucking hangover, not dull the pain in your damn chest.