Sam Wu is NOT Afraid of the Dark!

by Katie Tsang

  ‘I don’t think there’s anything here,’ said Stanley after a minute. ‘And really, we don’t have anything to worry about.  Now, if we were camping in Hong Kong, we’d have stuff to worry about. Wild pigs, snakes, monkeys, maybe even a tiger.’

  ‘I’m really glad we’re camping here and not in Hong Kong,’ said Bernard.

  ‘We still have PLENTY to worry about here,’ I said. ‘Bears, remember? And wolves?’ I gave Stanley a pointed look. ‘And BEES.’

  Something growled.

  Bees don’t growl.

  ‘DID YOU HEAR THAT?’ I said.

  ‘Hear what?’ said Bernard.

  ‘That growl!’ I didn’t know how to take on a bear! We had to get out of here right now. I tried to remember what Bernard had said about protecting yourself from a bear. How could I make myself bigger? Or should I play dead?

  There was another growl, louder this time.

  ‘I HEARD THAT ONE!’ said Bernard.

  I grabbed my poison mist. This was no time to play dead. ‘MAKE YOURSELF BIG!’ I yelled.

  Something rustled in the bushes in front of me. It crossed my mind that a bear would be too big to hide in these bushes, but I wasn’t taking any chances. And maybe it was a sneaky bear! I sprayed my poison mist straight into the bushes. ‘I’VE GOT YOU!’ I shouted.

  Whatever it was started snorting. And there was something very familiar about this snort . . .

  ‘That’s not a bear,’ said Stanley, as a head popped out of the bushes. ‘That’s another kid.’

  It wasn’t just any kid.

  It was Ralph Philip Zinkerman. Of course. He even had his bow tie on.

  Ralph was rubbing his eyes. ‘What did you spray at me?’ he said, coughing.

  ‘It’s POISON MIST,’ I said, avoiding Stanley’s gaze. ‘You’re lucky to be alive! And I sprayed you because I thought you were a bear! What are you even doing here?’

  ‘Poison mist?’ Ralph sounded genuinely panicked. ‘AM I GOING TO DIE?’

  ‘It’s just hairspray,’ said Stanley. ‘But here’s some water. Sorry about that. Sam acts before he thinks sometimes.’

  I bristled. ‘I WAS PROTECTING US!’ And as Spaceman Jack says, sometimes there is no time to think. You just have to go on instinct.

  ‘You should have seen your face,’ said Ralph, who was managing to snort-laugh even as he splashed water into his eyes. ‘You were TERRIFIED. Typical Scaredy-Cat Sam.’

  ‘I was NOT afraid,’ I said. ‘And not nearly as afraid as you were when I said I sprayed you with poison mist.’

  ‘Lucky I wasn’t a real bear,’ said Ralph, ignoring me. ‘If you sprayed a real bear with hairspray, it would just get mad and then rip you to shreds!’

  He made a claw with his hands.

  I shuddered. I hate to admit it, but Ralph might have had a point. I’d need to be better prepared for any future creature encounters.

  ‘Can we change the subject?’ said Bernard. ‘You still haven’t said what you are doing here, Ralph. Are you camping by yourself ?’ Bernard looked over Ralph’s shoulder.

  Was he? Ralph couldn’t be brave enough to camp on his own. Could he? But then Captain Jane always says you should never underestimate your enemies.

  ‘I’m with my parents and my sister,’ said Ralph. ‘Zach was supposed to come, but he got the flu.’

  Zach was one of Ralph’s friends who always laughed at Ralph’s bad jokes. I suspected that Zach had wisely pretended to have the flu to get out of going camping. I should have thought of that.

  Well, at least Regina, Ralph’s twin sister, was somewhere here too. Regina is the opposite of Ralph. She’s nice and not-awful. I wondered where she was. Then I heard a familiar voice. Two familiar voices. I looked up behind Ralph and saw not just Regina, but Zoe too!

  ‘Zoe!’ I waved my arms in the air.

  She grinned and ran over to us.

  ‘For the universe!’ she said, pumping her arm up in our signature SPACE BLASTERS move.

  ‘For the universe!’ Bernard and I said back.

  ‘What are you losers doing?’ scoffed Ralph.

  ‘It’s from this show SPACE BLASTERS,’ said Regina. My mouth almost fell open. Regina knew about SPACE BLASTERS? ‘Zoe’s been telling me about it.’

  ‘Well, you look stupid,’ said Ralph.

  Regina laughed. ‘Ralph is just cranky because his friend Zach couldn’t come. But now we’ve found you guys! This is perfect!’

  Ralph and I said at the same time. Didn’t Regina know that we were sworn enemies?

  ‘There you are!’ boomed a voice. It was Bernard’s dad. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you all! What did I tell you about wandering away from the path? And the tent still isn’t set up.’

  Ralph looked at Bernard’s dad. ‘Whoa,’ he said, clearly impressed by the fact that Bernard’s dad is basically a giant.

  ‘Bill Wilson!’ shouted a voice from behind Ralph. ‘What are the chances?’

  ‘Is that Philip and Felicity Zinkerman?’ said Bernard’s dad, conveniently forgetting that he was annoyed at us for not listening to him. ‘What a great surprise!’

  Ralph and Regina’s parents emerged out of the woods. They looked as if they had stepped out of a spy movie. They were both dressed in black and had huge, dark sunglasses on, even though it wasn’t sunny in the woods.

  ‘Hello, everyone!’ said Ralph and Regina’s mum. ‘How delightful to see you, and what a splendid surprise this is! We absolutely must all camp together! How wonderful for the children.’ She clapped her hands together in excitement.

  ‘NO’ Ralph and I yelled out, again in unison. I wondered if being sworn enemies meant we were connected in some way. Sometimes this happens on SPACE BLASTERS.

  ‘That’s a terrific idea,’ said Bernard’s dad, ignoring our shouts. ‘I was wondering how I was going to entertain this crew on my own. And now they can all play together.’

  ‘WE’RE NOT PLAYING,’ I said, but nobody was listening to me.

  ‘Mother, Father, we should camp on our own campsite,’ said Ralph.

  ‘Oh, Ralphie, don’t you want to camp with your friends?’ said his mum.

  ‘These aren’t my friends!’ Ralph protested. ‘All my friends are back at home.’

  ‘Of course these are your friends! I recognize them from your birthday party. It really just seems meant to be, especially as Zach couldn’t come,’ Ralph’s mum cooed. ‘This is just splendid!’

  Ralph and I both groaned. Parents never understand how things work. I don’t think they remember what being a kid is like at all.

  Part of me wanted to stop this RIGHT NOW, because the only thing worse than camping would be camping with Stanley and the only thing worse than THAT would be camping with Ralph Phillip Zinkerman the Third. But I thought that maybe Zoe and Regina would make up for it.

  Plus, I knew I’d be in big trouble if I was rude to Ralph’s parents and my mum found out about it. And she would definitely find out. She has super-secret mum powers.

  Bernard and I exchanged a quick look. I nodded, and he nodded back.

  ‘I think it’s a good idea,’ I said loudly.

  ‘You do?’ said Ralph incredulously.

  ‘Me too!’ said Regina, beaming at me. I smiled back.

  ‘This is great!’ said Zoe.

  ‘And I’m Stanley!’ declared Stanley. I was surprised he didn’t introduce himself as the camping expert.

  Ralph’s mum looked down at him. ‘Oh, hello, dear. I thought I didn’t recognize you.’

  ‘I’m great at camping,’ he added.

  ‘Well, then it’s a good thing we are all joining forces,’ said Ralph’s dad.

  ‘We’ve just finished setting up our camp, so do you mind coming to our site?’ added Ralph’s mum. ‘It’s lovely. Very close to a waterfall and a natural cave, apparently.’

  Didn’t they know what slept in CAVES? Bears. Werewolves. Bats. Monsters.

  Bernard’s dad clearly wasn’t thinking about all th
at. ‘It sounds fantastic,’ he said. ‘Come on, kiddos, let’s pack up and move camp.’

  Ralph and Regina’s family had the fanciest camping equipment I’d ever seen.

  ‘This is a tent?’ I said, staring at what looked like a spaceship.

  ‘It’s my spaceship tent,’ said Ralph smugly. He eyed Stanley. ‘You seem cool. Even though you’re related to Sam. Do you want to come in?’

  ‘This is the coolest camping gear I’ve ever seen!’ exclaimed Stanley. ‘How long did it take you to set up?’

  ‘Ninety seconds. And it set itself up. All I had to do was press a button.’

  Stanley nodded, impressed.

  I was half-expecting the spaceship to take off. Maybe it would take Ralph with it.

  ‘Stanley,’ I said, ‘you have to help us set up our tent, remember?’ Stanley might be an annoying cousin, but he’s my annoying cousin. Ralph couldn’t steal him.

  ‘Let me help these guys, and then I’ll check out your tent,’ Stanley said to Ralph.

  ‘You’re missing out,’ said Ralph. Then he held up a MOBILE PHONE and pressed a button. Music started playing from inside his tent.

  I gasped. ‘YOU HAVE A PHONE?’ I didn’t think anyone in our class had a phone.

  ‘And a speaker inside the tent,’ said Ralph smugly, going inside his spaceship tent.

  ‘I have a phone too,’ said Regina from next to me. ‘But I left mine at home. Our parents let Ralph bring his phone because his friend Zach couldn’t come.’

  I couldn’t believe it. Ralph had a mobile phone. And it looked like a super high-tech one too.

  A not nice feeling went through me.

  A feeling that made my stomach hurt and my skin feel tight.

  Jealousy.

  I wanted a mobile phone.

  And a spaceship tent that set itself up.

  It just wasn’t fair.

  ‘Have you seen our tent?’ Regina went on. ‘Zoe and I are staying in this one.’ She pointed to an even bigger tent shaped like a castle. ‘But I like your tent, Sam. It looks more like what I imagine when I think of camping.’ She smiled. I tried to smile back, but my face muscles weren’t working very well. A common side effect of extreme jealousy. Not my proudest moment.

  Come on, Sam, I heard Captain Jane in my head.  Be grateful for what you have.

  ‘Yeah, our tent is pretty awesome,’ I managed.

  ‘Yeah!’ said Bernard. ‘I love our tent!’

  ‘Me too!’ I said, and this time I meant it. And my smile was real. I didn’t want Bernard to feel bad. I was lucky to get to share a tent with my best friend.

  Even if we had to share it with my cousin Stanley. Which reminded me . . .

  ‘Stanley, this is Zoe and Regina,’ I said. They waved. ‘That’s Ralph in there.’ I pointed at the spaceship tent, which was still blasting music. ‘This is my cousin Stanley. He’s from Hong Kong.’

  ‘Cool!’ chorused Zoe and Regina.

  Something occurred to me. I turned to Zoe.

  ‘When did you decide to go camping with Regina? You didn’t say anything about camping at school on Friday.’

  ‘I was always going to sleep over at her house this weekend, and then I suggested that we go camping! Since I knew Bernard was going, I figured you’d end up going too.’

  I nodded, impressed at her superior detective skills. ‘Wow,’ I said.

  ‘Yeah,’ she said, grinning. ‘I’ve learned some stuff from SPACE BLASTERS too, you know. I just tried to think like Captain Jane.’

  I couldn’t have been more proud.

  After we finally got everything set up, Bernard’s dad made us a fire.

  ‘This one is for you kids,’ he said. ‘You’re all mature enough to have your own fire and not fall into it or anything, right?’

  We all nodded.

  ‘And I’m right here.’ He pointed to another fire he’d made nearby. ‘With Ralph and Regina’s parents. So just shout if you need us. But for now . . .’ He reached into a bag and pulled out hot dogs and marshmallows.

  ‘Hot dogs and marshmallows?’ Zoe whispered. ‘What kind of combination is that?’

  ‘You don’t eat them together,’ Bernard whispered back. ‘We’re having hot dogs for dinner, and marshmallows for dessert! We’re going to make s’mores!’13

  ‘I’ve never had a s’more!’ Zoe said, sounding excited. ‘This is going to be great!’

  I grinned. Zoe was right. It was going to be great.

  Plus, everybody knows that a roaring fire keeps away the monsters in the dark.

  Or so I thought.

  As we sat around the fire, roasting our hot dogs and marshmallows, Stanley started talking. And talking. And talking.

  But the surprising thing was, we all wanted to listen to him! He was telling campfire stories and, as much as it pains me to admit it, they were actually really good.

  Soon, it was dark everywhere but closest to the fire. Everyone’s faces looked different in the firelight. I knew that Bernard’s dad and Ralph and Regina’s parents were nearby, but there was NO WAY I would cross the dark to get from our fire to their fire. Who knew what could get me?

  Stanley, apparently.

  ‘Do you know what comes out at night?’ he said in a spooky voice, shining a flashlight under his face.

  ‘Owls,’ said Bernard. He had one of his books in his lap and was flipping through it with his own flashlight.

  ‘And bats!’ said Regina.

  ‘That’s right, Regina,’ said Stanley. ‘But not just any bats . . . VAMPIRE BATS!’

  We all shuddered.

  ‘Normal bats also come out at night,’ said Bernard.

  ‘Well, this story isn’t about normal bats,’ said Stanley in his usual voice. ‘It’s about . . . VAMPIRE BATS. And werewolves! And all the things that can get you in the dark.’

  Suddenly I thought I heard a howl out in the night.

  ‘Stop it, Ralph,’ I said. Because it had to have been him. He was sitting across the fire from me in the direction I’d heard the howl.

  Ralph looked up from his phone. ‘What are you talking about, Sam Wu-ser?’

  ‘I heard you! Howling. Stop trying to scare me. It won’t work.’

  I expected Ralph to laugh or at least to snort, but instead his eyes got big.

  ‘I didn’t howl,’ he said. ‘That was one of you!’

  We all looked at each other.

  ‘Anyway,’ said Stanley, ‘as I was saying, there are a lot of things that can get you in the dark. It isn’t just the werewolves and vampires you have to worry about. Did you know that snakes come out at night too?’

  ‘Of course we know that,’ said Zoe. ‘Sam has a pet snake, remember?’

  ‘Yeah!’ I said. But I didn’t know that snakes came out at night. As far as I could tell, Fang slept all the time. I realized, if he was awake at night, I wouldn’t have even known, because I’d been sleeping.

  I should have known Fang could be sneaky like that.

  ‘If a snake comes to our camp, Sam will know what to do,’ Regina added confidently. ‘He brought his pet snake to class and everything.’ She smiled at me. At least I think she smiled at me. It was hard to tell in the dark.

  ‘THERE WON’T BE ANY SNAKES,’ Ralph said loudly.

  I remembered that when I brought Fang to class, Ralph had stood at the very back of the classroom. I wondered if he was afraid of snakes. Not that I’d blame him. Only the VERY bravest people are NOT afraid of snakes. Like me.

  Stanley sighed loudly. ‘As I was saying, it isn’t just snakes, werewolves and vampires you have to worry about at night. There are other things too.’

  ‘Like what?’ said Zoe. She sounded sceptical.

  ‘Yeah, like what?’ said Bernard. He sounded less sceptical and more scared. He’d even put his book down.

  ‘In the deepest, darkest part of the woods, there is a creature waiting to come out. It waits till it is so dark that nobody can see it . . . and then . . .’

  ‘ALIENS
!’ shouted Ralph.

  ‘What?’ We all turned to him.

  ‘That’s a good guess, but it isn’t what I was going to say,’ said Stanley.

  ‘No! There’s been a REAL alien sighting,’ Ralph said. ‘Near us!’

  I dropped my marshmallow in the fire.

  ALIENS?

  ‘What are you talking about?’ said Regina.

  ‘Look,’ said Ralph, flashing his phone at us. ‘Zach just messaged me. There has been UFO sightings tonight. VERY CLOSE TO US.’

  Bernard looked at me. ‘Sam, what kind of aliens do you think they are?’ he said, sounding panicked. ‘Do you think they are nice aliens like Five-Eyed Frank from SPACE BLASTERS?’

  ‘Or evil aliens like the ones that live on Planet Doom?’ said Zoe.

  ‘What if it’s the Evil Shark Lord in his spaceship?’ Bernard went on. ‘Or the Ghost King? WHAT IF THEY ARE WORKING TOGETHER?’

  I was overwhelmed with the possibilities. But I knew I had to stay focused. Captain Jane says a good captain never shows fear. And Spaceman Jack says half of being brave is pretending to be brave. I could do this.

  I held up my hands. ‘Everyone needs to stay calm,’ I said.

  ‘I am calm,’ said Regina.

  ‘Okay, well everyone else. We need to stay calm, and get more information. We can’t prepare for an alien attack if we don’t know what kind of alien it is.’

  ‘AN ALIEN ATTACK?’ said Zoe.

  ‘They might be friendly,’ I said. ‘But we should prepare for the worst.’

  I looked at Ralph. I didn’t like it, but if we were going to defeat the aliens we would have to work together for the greater good. ‘Commander Ralph,’ I said. ‘We need more information.’

  Ralph stared at me for a long moment across the campfire. I could tell he was debating whether or not to make fun of me. But then he spoke. ‘Sam, you’re going to want to look at this.’