by Unknown
So that meal together on 21 July was like my welcome back. Luc and I went to Pizza Paradiso, our favourite eating place (it's where teens go if they want something a bit more sophisticated than McDonald's and is really popular). I was so pleased to see Luc again, even if his eyes did look dead with tiredness. I thought he hasn't been sleeping well because he'd been missing me so much.
Little did I know… as they say.
I remember he was very subdued as well. I wondered if he'd had another argument with Patrick, his older brother. They're total opposites and don't get on at all. But then he declared, ‘My mum's been having a right go at me.’
Something in his voice made me look up.
‘What about?’ I asked.
‘About us, would you believe?’ he whispered, peering down at his uneaten pizza. ‘She thinks we're getting too serious too quickly.’
My scalp tightened. ‘And what do you think?’ I asked.
His reply was so quiet I had to lean forward to hear him. ‘I think, maybe, we should cool it for a while – yes.’
For a moment I was so stunned that everything – including Luc – went totally out of focus. It was the oddest sensation. Then, from another part of the room came a huge roar of laughter, followed by loud clapping. All around me was this great sea of happiness, while my world had just been blown sky-high.
I wasn't merely happy with Luc, I was totally blissed out. Surely I'd have sensed if something was wrong between us? Of course I would. I couldn't be that insensitive.
So, I decided, whatever's gone wrong can still be sorted. Luc doesn't really want to finish with me. I have to be calm and find out what's really happened.
‘Luc, we're not breaking up because of your mum… there isn't someone else, is there?’ I asked softly, fully expecting him to say, ‘Of course not,’ and being cross with me for even suggesting such a thing.
So his reply came as a violent shock. ‘Yes, Bella, I'm afraid there is,’ he whispered, and a great wave of colour rushed into his face. It was all too much to take in. I could hardly speak. Tears welled up at the corners of my eyes.
After a long, silent moment Luc said, still gazing at his pizza, ‘I promise you, Bella, I do care about you. I still want us to be friends.’
Suddenly my feelings swerved towards anger. ‘So who is it?’ I demanded, in a kind of screaming whisper. ‘No, don't tell me, I don't want her name polluting my head.’ I scrambled to my feet. Luc raised startled eyes at me, but what was he expecting? After news like that I couldn't go on sitting there, happily munching my pizza.
I cried out, ‘PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't come after me, it'll only make everything much worse. Have a nice life, won't you?’
Then I pelted out of there and straight off to Andrea's. She couldn't have been more understanding. The following afternoon I was round her house again.
And now I did want to know who had stolen Luc from me. But when I asked Andrea she didn't rattle off a list of suspects as I'd expected. She just shrugged and said she hadn't a clue. I thought that was a bit unusual but I decided she must have been sparing my feelings.
In the evening Dad and me were supposed to be visiting my Aunt Libby in Bedford. She had the flu, though, so I shot round to see Andrea again… and that's when I sighted them, standing outside her house.
Want to know my very first thought? What a top friend I've got. She's trying to sort things out for me with Luc. My heart actually swelled with gratitude – until I watched the longest kiss I'd ever seen. After which I heard Luc say, ‘You must tell her soon.’
And ‘her’ had never suspected Andrea for a moment. I knew she was something of a ‘boy trap’ – but I really thought her best friend's boyfriend was off limits. In fact, now I think about it, I even asked her to keep an eye on Luc for me while I was on holiday…
But it won't last. That's my one consolation. Andrea gets through boyfriends so quickly – poor Luc won't know what's hit him.
Poor Luc – now you're thinking that's an odd thing to write. After all, he's just as guilty as Andrea. Of course he is. And I'm so disappointed in him. But boys haven't got the same strength of character as girls. That's a scientific fact. And they can be very easily distracted, if you know what I mean.
That's what's happened here. Luc's been temporarily distracted by my best friend.
This is just a blip. I say that to myself over and over. And I give Luc and Andrea a week – at the most!!
So I shall have the last laugh when they both come crawling back to me. What a moment that will be – and all this misery will then instantly slip away.
I'VE JUST GOT TO WAIT.
Chapter 3
SATURDAY 25 JULY
Email to Bella
Dear Bella,
First of all, I totally forgive you for destroying my dress. In your situation I'm sure I'd have done exactly the same – no worse, much worse.
I know exactly how very hurt you must be. Believe me, it's the last thing Luc or me wanted. Believe me, too, this is not a silly flirtation. And when you were away we just couldn't hide our strong feelings any more. We really did try, but it was impossible. One day, I hope I can explain all this to you.
Right now it just seems so very strange without you. You should be here with me, celebrating my birthday. But Bella, whenever you want to meet I'll be there. Your friendship means the world to me. Always remember that.
Lots of love,
Andrea XXX
6.00 p.m.
SHE FORGIVES ME!!
The nerve of her! As for all that gush about her and Luc and their strong feelings for each other… I'm amazed I wasn't sick all over my computer.
Andrea forgets I know her. I've lost count of all her silly crushes. Well, there's a new one practically every week. My boyfriend just happens to be the latest one. But she and Luc haven't been deeply attracted for ages. That's a total lie. I'd have realized. I'd have sensed Luc slipping away from me. No, she made a big play for my boyfriend when I was safely away.
As for all that syrupy rubbish about my friendship meaning the world to her – oh yes, it really looks like it, doesn't it?
I so wish she hadn't contacted me. It's just stirred me up again. I've been pacing around the house (Dad, of course, is at Gloria's tonight), with Tilly flying after me and barking excitedly; obviously thinking this is some new kind of game.
Too upset to write any more right now.
9.00 p.m.
I've just been sitting in a bus shelter. I wasn't waiting for a bus, though. No, nothing as normal as that.
The bus shelter, you see, is directly opposite Andrea's house. And I've been slouched in the corner, squinting through my sunglasses (that's my disguise) at the guests arriving for Andrea's party. Exactly why I'd want to do this I can't tell you. It's a complete mystery even to me.
So I watched this flash car pull up and a girl flounce out – Lydia. She's in my class at school and she and Andrea are always gossiping together. Lydia and I are rather less friendly.
The front door opened and Andrea gave a little squeal of delight when she saw Lydia. Then she grabbed her by the arm and half-dragged her into the house. I noticed Andrea was wearing a new black dress. No doubt that had been bought specially for her today. She'd had her hair done, too: new dress, new hairstyle – new boyfriend.
I should have left then. I mean, what on earth was the point of watching all this? Was my life so small and pointless that I couldn't think of anything else to do?
‘GO NOW!’
In my head I shouted this advice, but I still ignored it. Clearly I wasn't quite miserable enough yet. I had to drain my cup of poison by watching him arrive…
I didn't have long to wait.
And then I just couldn't believe it. It still seemed so unreal to me. It was like watching a stranger wearing a mask of Luc, kissing Andrea. And they both looked so happy together while here I was, skulking across the road like the Ghost of Christmas Past.
I shot to my feet, flooded with p
ain. All right, I'd show them. I'd storm into that party now; ruin a few minutes of it, at least. And if I was very lucky I might even sabotage the whole evening. I hadn't a clue what I was going to say - but no doubt inspiration would come to me at the right moment.
I just wanted to wipe that smug smile right off Andrea's face.
I was about to charge across the road to do exactly that when I heard someone call my name. I looked around sharply. And there was this boy I'd never in my life seen before. He just seemed to materialize out of nowhere.
He strolled over to me with such a friendly expression on his face, as if we'd known each other for years.
‘Really not a good idea, you know,’ he said.
I could only gape at him.
‘You were intending to gatecrash that party, weren't you, Bella?’
‘How exactly do you know my name?’ My voice sounded shrill and scared.
He just grinned. He was wearing a cool blue suit with a very loose tie and white trainers. He was about eighteen, tall and not bad-looking, I suppose. And he had that air of confidence and assurance that people who are about to sell you something often assume.
A horrible thought struck me. Andrea's got a cousin. I'd never met him, but he was coming to her party – and he was about eighteen. Hadn't Andrea also said he was going to act as her bodyguard? She must have guessed I'd turn up tonight and assigned him the job of keeping me out. What was his name? Barry, that's it.
‘Is your name Barry?’ I asked fiercely.
He smiled and said, ‘No.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I think that's something I would remember.’ He grinned again.
‘So what is it?’ I demanded.
‘Rupert, but that's really not important,’ he said. ‘How about if we stroll into town?… There's a café there…’
‘No, no,’ I burst out. He couldn't just pop up and ‘pick me up’. I wasn't that desperate.
He immediately raised a hand. ‘That was only a suggestion… and now you look highly alarmed, which is the very last thing I intended. I shouldn't have just jumped out at you, either – I always get that introductory bit wrong. Now look,’ he dug into his pocket, ‘here's my card. At least take that. Please.’ He reached out his hand to me. I snatched up the card.
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘And I would strongly advise you to call me.’
‘Oh, would you?’
‘I'd also strongly advise you not to go to that party. I know how tempting it is. It's what I'd want to do in your situation. But you'll only make yourself look undignified… and very forlorn. You've got to stay away.’
‘Just how exactly do you know all about this?’ I cried. ‘I've never seen you in my life.’
‘Call me and you'll find out,’ he said cheerfully. ‘Ring me any time, day or night. I offer a twenty-four-hour listening service.’
Across the road more cars were pulling up; there were excited whoops and screams, too. He moved forward. ‘Don't even look at them, Bella,’ he urged. ‘Just get right away from here and go home now.’
So here was a total stranger, appearing out of nowhere and showering me with advice. What a nerve! Yet, some part of me knew it was good advice.
‘Well, perhaps I will leave,’ I announced.
‘Well done!’ he cried and looked genuinely pleased. ‘We'll talk again very soon.’
He said this with such confidence, too.
I started walking away. When I turned around I expected to see him still standing by the bus shelter. But he'd vanished as mysteriously as he'd appeared.
For one crazy moment I even wondered if he was some sort of ghost: the ghost of the bus shelter, who hands out advice to miserable souls.
Now I was just being daft. And hadn't he given me a card? Well, ghosts certainly don't go around doing that, do they?
I took off my sunglasses and studied the card he'd given me. It just had his name on it and underneath, ‘The Ex-Files’, followed by a mobile number.
I'd heard of The X-Files, of course: that TV series about investigations into spooky happenings. But not the Ex-Files.
He was clearly a very odd person: kind of compelling while he was talking to you, though.
And now I could see that he had done me a good turn. Barging into Andrea's party might well have provided some drama and given everyone a wonderful gossip afterwards, but it really wouldn't have helped me. I'd have just degraded myself – and right in front of Luc as well.
Now I kept looking at that Ex-Files card, wondering what would happen if I actually called that number.
Not that I ever would, of course.
Chapter 4
SUNDAY 26 JULY
I'm in disgrace.
What happened was: well, first of all I hardly slept last night. My head was too full of thoughts and wild imaginings. I'd hear the clock downstairs chiming two o'clock, three o'clock, four o'clock, and each time the chimes sounded more surprised, as if they couldn't believe I was still awake. And there was that weird kind of stillness, as if the whole world was under glass. I finally drifted off about half past four, but was awake again before seven.
So when Dad returned at about half past ten this morning from his time with Gloria I was slumped on the couch, still in my pyjamas, gazing foggily at some teen soap on television.
To my great surprise and alarm, I also heard Gloria's voice in the hallway – she never comes back with Dad. The next thing I knew she was standing right in front of me, sighing deeply and exclaiming, ‘This won't do, will it?’
‘It really won't,’ agreed Dad, gently smiling.
Gloria was wearing a brightly coloured turban. It was so dazzling it seemed to assault my eyes every time I dared to glance at it. She placed a hand on mine. I peered down at the freshly polished nails; she always makes me feel so shabby.
‘My god-daughter, Rosemary, is visiting me for lunch today. You've heard me mention her?’
I had, many times.
‘Well, she'd love to meet you and we won't accept “No” for an answer. So, do you want any help getting dressed?’ She was talking to me in exaggeratedly sympathetic tones now. I really didn't want her helping me get dressed. In fact, the horror of that image got me to my feet and up the stairs straightaway.
I had no wish to have lunch with Gloria or her paragon of a god-daughter either. But I told myself to be patient: Gloria meant well and it would please Dad (and that, of course, was Gloria's main reason for inviting me).
Dad was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. ‘Now, that's more like the Bella I know,’ he said. ‘Scrubs up well, doesn't she, Gloria?’
Gloria beamed at me. ‘We must have a good girly chat about make-up and clothes one day: exchange tips.’
I could hardly wait.
Her flat was tiny but immaculate. I felt very self-conscious, especially when I saw all the expensive dishes and plates. It seemed a bit over the top for a chicken salad.
For once it wasn't Gloria who did all of the talking. Rosemary chatted on and on about her holiday in America, her gap year, her new home and a national handwriting prize she'd won… She also had no interest in me whatsoever. I wasn't sure she totally approved of Dad, either. She kept giving him these strange glances and addressed all her conversation to Gloria.
We seemed to have been sitting at that table for twenty years, and still Rosemary was holding forth. I felt my eyes drooping. And quite suddenly, and very shockingly, I slumped forward and fell asleep.
It was Dad calling my name who made me jump awake again. I stared blearily around, uncertain exactly where I was for a moment. I spotted Gloria first, sitting very upright and looking as if she was chewing a wasp.
When we were leaving I did apologize to her. I said, ‘Sorry for falling asleep like that. It's no offence to you. I'm just so tired.’ Gloria laughed softly, but her face was all hard and closed in on itself.
Back home there was a definite chill in the atmosphere. Dad never says much; he's not one for conflicts o
r arguments (although he does sulk). Suddenly he said to me, ‘Are you still missing that boy?’ There was a note of incredulity in his voice, as if he couldn't believe I hadn't got over Luc. I'd had four whole days, for goodness' sake.
‘Maybe,’ he went on, ‘you should go and stay with…’ I never let him finish that sentence. I get on really well with my Aunt Libby, but I wouldn't let him parcel me off there now. It was imperative that I was here, ready for when Luc came back to me.
‘I don't want to go anywhere right now,’ I said, firmly. ‘Don't worry, I'll be fine.’
Dad stared at me anxiously. ‘You must try and get a grip on things,’ he said, and then added, a bit more kindly, ‘And just relax more… I'd love to have another five weeks of summer holiday stretching ahead of me. Don't waste these precious days… One day, you know, you'll look back on this break-up and realize how totally unimportant it was.’
‘No, I'll never, ever do that,’ I replied, but I waited until Dad was out of the room before I said it.
MONDAY 27 JULY
4.00 p.m.
A brilliant thing has just happened: Lydia's rung me.
Now you're puzzled. Especially if you remember me telling you that Lydia and I are not especially good friends. In fact, we merely tolerate each other because of our friendship (now deceased, in my case) with Andrea.
So why should a call from Lydia cause me such deep joy?
I'll tell you why: Lydia said she'd missed me at the party on Saturday and wanted to see how I was. Well, I nearly laughed out loud. Lydia didn't have a splinter of concern for me. She was ringing for just one reason: Andrea had put her up to it.
Then – ever so casually – Lydia asked me if I'd heard from Luc at all. At once I knew this was the real reason for the call. But why does Andrea want to know this? Have she and Luc argued already? (Andrea's got a mean temper. It comes from being so spoilt.) Could Luc be starting to lose interest in her? Does he realize that he's made a catastrophic mistake?
The questions whirled round and round in my head, making me feel quite dizzy. I told myself I mustn't get too excited. Still, this wild hope rose up: Luc and I were about to be reunited.