Excess Baggage

by Laura Barnard

  I force myself to carry on with one leg, my trembling hands slowly working their way up. I make sure to press his erection into my butt as much as possible. It’s so close to being near where I want it most. So close, yet so far.

  I straighten myself up and massage my stomach. I’m really just prolonging it now, desperately needing for his hands to remain on me. I’m already sad about when they’ll leave.

  His hands massage back up my spine in figures of eight and up to my shoulders. His fingers sprawl over my shoulders wrapping their way around my throat, then caressing down until he’s massaging the very top of my boobs.

  I find myself pushing out my tits, desperate for him to touch them. They’ve never ached like this before. I always assumed I wasn’t an “achy breasts” kind of gal. But here I am, aching. I clearly just needed Jack.

  Please touch them I will silently. My nipples are hard as rock, throbbing so much I’m surprised they’re not making an audible sound.

  His hands meet in the middle of my upper chest. I hold my breath. Please touch me. His fingers skirt down the centre of my boobs, careful not to touch them, and onto my stomach. Goddammit. Does he know that he’s teasing me? I’m tempted to raise a white flag and beg.

  His hands sweep up under my arms only for them to circle around my boobs again, avoiding contact where I want it the most. This is fucking agony. I groan in frustration. Shit, I hope he didn’t hear.

  I get some more from the pot and start on the other leg, bending as far over in invitation as I can. He pulls me back by my hips until I’m as pressed onto him as possible. Fucking hell. This is getting ridiculous. My bikini bottoms are soaking.

  I stand up straight, my back flush against his front, his body warmth melting my last shred of resistance. My breath comes out in short, sharp bursts as his hands travel down the sides of my breasts and then wrap around my stomach, pulling me back even further into him. So close I can feel his breath on my neck.

  His hands travel back up my sides until they’re at the string of my bikini top. He stills his fingers there for a moment, as if asking permission. I stay silent. I have a fear that if I talk, say anything at all, I’ll ruin this moment for both of us. And I’ll do anything to make sure it doesn’t stop.

  ‘Is this okay?’ he asks as he slowly unties the string, loosening the bikini so it only hangs around my neck.

  ‘Y…y…yes,’ I mumble, like an incoherent fool.

  Painfully slowly his hands travel around the front and cup my breasts. I moan like a wanton little whore. I can’t help it. Apparently that’s all the encouragement he needs. He kneads one while pinching the other, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. I drop my head back in pleasure, it landing on his chest. He takes the opportunity to bite my neck greedily.

  ‘Gooooooooood!’ I’m going to come on the spot if he carries on like this.

  But wait, is it weird that we’re doing all of this without even kissing? He pinches my nipple and I buck against him. Oh, who fucking cares.

  He lifts my bikini top off over my head. This feels too good to ignore.

  You’ll regret it.

  Damn that sensible voice in my head. Probably Evelyn having somehow wormed her way in there. I push it to the back of my brain, instead arching my back and pushing my boobs into his hands more.

  I reach out behind me and wrap my arm around his neck. He plants a quick kiss on my palm. He’s so adorable. I grind my butt against him, reminding myself that he’s massive. Another reason not to have sex with him. He’d probably ruin me. Stretch me out like an old handbag and ruin me for other men. Doesn’t stop my V wanting the D though.

  One of his hands snakes down and pulls at the bikini string of my bottoms. Thankfully I was never a girl scout, so it unravels easily. He trails a finger over my folds as he kisses me passionately on the neck. I need more. I can’t take it.

  It does worry me slightly that he’s still got exfoliant on his fingers. I mean, I’m sure that stuff isn’t supposed to go into your hoo-hah. But maybe, it’ll just mean I’ll have an exfoliated noonoo. It can’t be a bad thing, right? Who cares?

  ‘Please,’ I beg him, not sure what I’m even asking for at this point.

  He chuckles darkly, moving so he’s massaging my clit. I lose all train of thought. All I can do is feel and want. Most guys I’ve been with go at it like it’s a light switch, smashing it relentlessly, but this guys a pro. He’s gentle and teasing instead. The micro-bubbles from the exfoliator only heighten the sweet heavenly sensation.

  He slips his greedy fingers into me, two at once. I gasp, expecting to have to give myself a moment to warm up, like I normally do. But I’m so embarrassingly wet they glide in easily, too easily. I hope he doesn’t think I’m a bucket. It’s just that I’m so turned on.

  ‘We should get you washed up,’ he whispers in my ear, his voice deep and gruffly.

  Oh no, is he trying to end this? All I can do is nod. He throws his top off. I help him finish undressing by dragging his swimming shorts down. Jesus, the sight of him! It’s the most beautiful dick I’ve ever seen. I wrap my hands around it and squeeze. It’s velvety soft.

  He grabs me around the waist and lifts me up, so quickly I almost fall from dizziness. I instinctively wrap my legs securely around him. He walks me into the shower, hitting random buttons to get it working.

  A burst of freezing cold water hits us. I scream, my nipples going rigid in response. He smiles apologetically

  ‘Sorry.’ He’s ridiculously sweet considering the nature of what we’re doing. He turns the dial on the shower so that warmer water starts pumping out.

  He sucks one breast into his mouth, his tongue circling round my erect nipple, soothing it back to life with his warm delicious tongue. I wrap my arms tighter around his neck, scared of slipping and take my chance to kiss his neck. It feels divine. I ache so bad down below. I really want him inside me. No, I need him inside me.

  He grabs my hips, leaning back slightly to rip off my bikini bottoms. He turns so my back is pressed up against the wall, lines his dick up against me, searching into my eyes for some kind of permission. I’m so hot and bothered under the now almost boiling water. All I can do is nod.

  He thrusts into me, balls deep within a second. Shit!

  ‘Agh!’ I scream involuntarily.

  He’s so fucking deep, it feels like he might be in my womb. I look up to him in shock, my eyes no doubt holding a small percentage of the vulnerability I feel right now. He presses his forehead against mine, panting heavily. It gives me a minute to collect myself. I take a deep breath, attempting to customise to his size.

  ‘I’m okay,’ I nod, wanting him to move.

  He leans back before thrusting into me again, over and over, relentlessly as he nips at my neck. Each thrust causes me to scream. The feeling is beyond heavenly. The roughness of the sex mixed with the gentle pouring water has me trembling. It’s a fabulous mix of pleasure and pain.

  His thrusts get more demanding, deeper still, until I feel dirty and raw. His eyes don’t leave mine. So many words left unspoken between us.

  A hot sensation throbs down below, slowly travelling up my body until the hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end. My thighs ache from the position but that only seems to heighten my pleasure.

  A tingling starts, spreading all the way up to my neck. Every muscle in my body feels like it’s contracting as my stomach tightens into a hard ball. Hell, I need to come. I need to release before I physically explode.

  As if realising I’m close he changes position so his back is against the shower wall rather than mine. My back falls further back, deepening him inside me. Fuck! I’m going to come so fucking hard. I’m wound so tight I’m clutching onto his hair for dear life, pulling at the roots.

  The pressure keeps building, riding me so high it’s as if I’m having an out of body experience. Waves start washing over me, until it hits me, as if out of the blue.

  My body wracks with tremors, waves running up and
down my body, releasing my muscles. I clench my eyes shut as my body begins to spasm uncontrollably, swear words spilling from my mouth.

  ‘Open your eyes,’ he demands in a whisper.

  I open them, embarrassed by my own groans which are so far away from my control right now. The feeling finally dissipates, replaced by a soothing, calming balm. My legs suddenly feel like lead, dropping down from around his waist.

  I collapse, every muscle in my body giving up. He carries me down gently to the floor of the shower, stopping me from hurting myself.

  He lifts my knees so they’re by my shoulders as he takes a few final thrusts, before he grunts in my ear, coming inside me. Shit, we really should have worn a condom.

  I’ve only recently come off the pill because it was giving me migraines. Not that I can mention that now. His body weight collapses on top of me, his laboured breathing unsteady against my ear.

  The pleasure quickly escapes out of my body, instead replaced with fear. Fear that now I’ll have to face up to what we’ve just done. Will it be awkward? Should I get the morning after pill?

  He leans back, avoiding my gaze. Oh God, it’s started. The awkward brush off. He takes my hand and helps me up to standing. Maybe not. Maybe I’m just panicking.

  I watch as he cleans himself off under the shower spray. I self-consciously copy him, washing off any remains of our dirty encounter.

  He steps out of the shower and grabs a towel which he wraps around his waist. He grabs another one and wraps it around me, all the time avoiding my gaze. I’m so confused. He’s looking after me like a gentleman, but why is he not looking at me? Does he regret it?

  We walk back into the bedroom, an eerie silence surrounding us. I sit down on the edge of the bed.

  ‘So...’ I look up to catch what’s going to come out of his mouth next. He’s either going to say it was a huge mistake or that he had a great time. ‘You’re coming tonight, right?’

  I smile at the possible euphemism.

  ‘Attending,’ he quickly corrects, grabbing his shorts and pulling them on. ‘You’re attending tonight. Aren’t you?’

  ‘Yeah,’ I nod. ‘I’ll be there.’

  ‘Good. I’ll see you then, then.’ Is he feeling awkward too? He sure as hell sounds it.

  I nod and watch as he turns and hurriedly leaves. This is just casual for him. Just a fuck. It doesn’t mean the same thing to him as it does to me. I’m such a stupid cow. And now I’m going to have to take the morning after pill.

  And then he’s gone, as if what we did meant nothing.

  Oh God. What the hell have we done?

  Chapter Ten

  Erica

  I manage to keep myself busy with re-showering, washing my hair and then drying it messily. It never suits me when I try and tame it, it’s always better to let it do its own thing and that’s normally wild waves.

  Each time I’ve reached for the phone to call Brooke I’ve talked myself out of it. I can pretend it didn’t happen if I don’t talk about it. Pretend it was some kind of wild daydream I had.

  Of course I didn’t just sleep with my old holiday flame without discussing why we broke up in the first place. Of course I didn’t have sex with him without him even kissing me on the mouth. I’m not that whore, right? Oh crap, I totally am and whenever I remember it I have to clench my thighs together to stop myself from getting overly aroused.

  How could it have been so great? Like our bodies were made for each other? Not that it will happen again. I know that it can never go anywhere with him living in a completely different postcode and I’m not the type of girl to agree to being a fuck buddy. I have more class and self respect than that.

  I walk down the corridor and knock on Molly’s door. Brooke answers.

  Her eyes widen, scanning over me. ‘Shit, girl, you look hot!’

  I roll my eyes with a smile. ‘No need to sound so shocked.’

  She herself is wearing a neon pink PVC boob tube dress.

  ‘So,’ she grins, leaning against the door frame. ‘Did you get laid?’

  ‘What?’ I say on a gasp, cheeks burning. For once I wish she wasn’t so upfront about this stuff. I’m still not ready to talk about it.

  ‘Oh my God, you so did!’ She jumps up and down, clapping her hands, her boobs nearly breaking free.

  ‘She did what?’ Molly asks, appearing in a peach maxi dress, her eyeshadow all smoky and dark. That’s why she wanted Brooke’s help.

  ‘Our girl got laid,’ Brooke says proudly, like a mother at brownies.

  ‘No way!’ Molly screams, jumping around herself. ‘With Jack I assume?’

  ‘Sssh! Keep your voice down,’ I hiss. ‘Evelyn can’t find out.’

  Thankfully she insisted on her own room, rather than sleeping on one of our sofa beds. Bloody diva that she is.

  ‘Why is she so against it?’ Molly asks with a heavy sigh. ‘I’d never stand in the way of love’s young dream.’

  I giggle at her use of words. ‘Molly, you’re the cutest.’

  We make our way down to the bar, Brooke having apparently agreed with the guys that we’d meet them there. It makes me feel slightly better. At least I can down a cocktail before I see him, if I’m lucky. I mean, I have no idea what I’m going to say. How he’s going to react?

  Unfortunately, as we walk in I can see the guys are already here. Shit. I swallow down the panic and try to act calm in front of the girls. Jack glances up and spots me. I freeze in fear. His smile wavers before he looks away. Shit. He just totally dissed me! Am I a shit fuck? Have I got a baggy pussy or something?

  ‘Drinks?’ Molly asks us with an eager smile. She’s so jolly. I could really do without it right now. I feel like I just want to lock myself in the hotel room and listen to Kelis’ Caught Out There, singing I hate you so much right now, while having a good sob into my pillow.

  I begrudgingly follow the girls over towards the guys. We stand around their high table saying hi. I keep my head down and try to blend in.

  ‘Now listen girls,’ Tom says, getting all of our attention. ‘I don’t want to be a dick, but we don’t want you cockblocking us tonight.’

  I scoff loudly. Brooke laughs and flicks her hair behind her shoulder. ‘Please, more like you guy’s cockblocking us.’

  How can she be so laid back when she’s slept with him? I envy how easygoing she is about sex. I wish I could be more like that, rather than chancing a discreet look at him every few minutes.

  ‘Anyway, it would be vagblocking for Molly,’ Alice snorts.

  The guys all turn simultaneously to stare at Alice, their foreheads wrinkled.

  ‘Huh?’ Charlie says, looking around at the others.

  Molly’s cheeks go red, but she quickly straightens her shoulders. ‘What Alice was trying to explain, terribly, is that I’m gay.’

  The guys look to each other, like she just told them she’s into necrophilia.

  ‘As in…you’re extremely happy?’ Tom asks, seeming serious.

  Brooke rolls her eyes. ‘As in she licks pussy, dumb arse.’

  Charlie’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. Bless him. He must have really fancied her.

  ‘Shit, Molls!’ Tom shouts with a chuckle. ‘Sorry, but I just never had you down as a lesbian.’

  ‘I get that a lot,’ she nods, blushing adorably.

  ‘Anyway,’ Evelyn claps, ‘I think we should split up tonight.’ She looks around. ‘Stand in different areas. That way we all get a chance.’

  ‘Ooh, on the pull tonight Evelyn?’ Alice asks with a bemused face.

  ‘No!’ she snaps, before a grin takes over her face. ‘Only, well, the barman did say he might come tonight.’

  ‘Oooh!’ we all chime childishly before bursting into chuckles. I’m glad someone broke my tension, if only for a second.

  I’m glad we’re separating. Every time I chance a look at Jack he’s laughing along as if nothing’s the matter. As if we didn’t just have sex earlier. It’s actually making me doubt myself.
I mean, I didn’t dream it, did I? No, he’s clearly just a heartless bastard. Some things never change.

  We wander off to another table and before long the sexy barman turns up with a bunch of good looking Spaniards. They could be a way to forget Jack. Or make him jealous. Oh for fuck’s sake, now I’m resorting to playground tactics. What has happened to me? I’m fifteen again!

  ‘Hi,’ one of them says to me, his chestnut eyes warm and friendly.

  I smile back politely. ‘Hi.’ I suppose I can’t be rude, can I?

  ‘Where are you girls from?’

  ‘Brighton,’ I answer good naturedly, having to shout it in his ear so he can hear me.

  I catch something in my peripheral vision and turn to see Jack staring at me, a murderous expression on his face. Oh yeah, he doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want anyone else to. What a bloody caveman!

  ‘Brighton girls!’ they all cheer. I’m sure they don’t have the foggiest where Brighton is, but whatever.

  I pretend to cheer back, giggling. I know I’m being stupid, but now the overwhelming urge to see Jack’s angry vein in his neck spurs me on. It might be the cocktail in me, but whatever. I deserve some positive attention, dammit.

  ‘Do you want to dance?’ the Spaniard asks me.

  I look at the others, already on their way to the dance floor with the other guys. Why the hell not.

  ‘Okay,’ I nod, taking his outstretched hand. Eww, it’s sweaty.

  We go to the dance floor where they’re playing Demi Lovato’s Cool for the Summer. He spins me around as if we were on Strictly Come Dancing. Who knew the sweaty handed Spaniard had moves?! For a while I’m so busy making sure I don’t fall over I forget all about Jack.

  This guy seems fun and a perfect gentleman. Maybe I should just forget about Jack and move on. I don’t want to waste this holiday stressing over some man. Some manchild in Jack’s case. Bloody juvenile idiot. Devastatingly handsome idiot.

  A slower R’n’B song comes on and the Spaniard pulls me close. I recognise it immediately; End of the Road by Boyz II Men. I love this song! But this is a bit more awkward. I really don’t want his hot, sweaty body pressed up against me like this. Especially to one of my favourite songs. I politely push him away, my face uneasy.