I gaze up into his concerned deep hazel eyes and want nothing more than to ask him to stay. But to admit that would be to admit that I still have feelings for him. Something I’ve denied to Evelyn. Something he denied himself less than thirty minutes ago. If she sniffs out this holiday fling she’ll lock me in my room and leave me there till the flight is departing. I only have one option.
‘You should go,’ I mutter, giving him a weak smile.
The hurt twists his face. Evelyn looks sickeningly happy about it. I feel the guilt wrap its way around my intestines. Or is that just another dose of sickness? Who knows? I only know that I’ve made a mistake as he begrudgingly backs away from me, running his hand through his hair, his face twisted with hurt.
What the hell have I done?
Chapter Fifteen
Jack
I can’t believe she dissed me like that. And in front of Evelyn too. That bitch has never liked me. Even from way before we split up. Never trusted me. It’s not fair. I get that she was ill, but would it have really hurt to just say I could help look after her?
Shit, when I saw her laid out like that I nearly had a heart attack. All I wanted to do was gather her small body up in my arms and hold her to my chest until she felt better. I’d only ever feel like that for Erica. I used to hate when girlfriends got sick and would stay away at all costs. With her I can’t help but feel protective over her. I want her to be mine to look after.
When did I get so pussy whipped? Actually, I can pinpoint it back to when I was sixteen. She’s always been different to other girls. Special. Maybe it’s because she was my first love. Not that I think I loved her; but at that age everything is a lustful all-consuming fascination, isn’t it? Every morning I woke up I couldn’t wait to speak to her and now those feelings are creeping back.
That’s why I’ve stopped it before it gets out of hand. I mean, she wanted to keep us a secret. Embarrassed to admit she’s with me. All because she had a boyfriend back home. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me. Seeing him with her last night shocked the fuck out of me. And when that little fucker went down on one knee to propose I just had to get out of there.
It made me doubt her. Maybe she’s no longer the innocent Erica I remember, but a calculating, manipulating older version. Maybe she’s just like the rest of them.
I must have kicked over three bins on the walk back. When she tried to bang on my door, begging to explain I knew that I couldn’t answer it. I was too mad. Instead I had a shower to try to drown out the noise.
I barely got any sleep all night thinking about it. What the hell did I have to offer her anyway? It’s not like I could move up her way and we know from past experience that long distance doesn’t work. And I wouldn’t want it to. If I was with her, I’d want to be with her properly, waking up to her every morning.
So, I’ve decided to let her go. Told her she should reconsider that tools proposal. I’m going to desperately try to forget her and have the fun on this holiday that I thought I would. I’m growing back my pair of balls and taking back hold of this holiday.
Erica
I feel soooooo much better! My God am I a land bird. I’ve had a shower and a nap so I’m feeling good as new. I apply my lipstick and think about how I’m going to apologise to Jack later. I can’t get his sad, dejected face out of my mind. Every time I see it it’s as if someone stabs me in the heart. It’s affected me far worse than Karl’s.
I’ve decided that as soon as the others relax into drinking I’ll pull him aside and apologise. Tonight, we’re going on the excursion bus to the one club on the island. Apparently it’s their two-for-one cocktails, which I think is as wild as it gets around here. Brooke tells me the guys took an earlier taxi, impatient bastards.
I can’t help but miss the guys not being with us. It’s sad to think we’ve come to rely on them in this short time, but they’re fun to have around. We load onto the bus for the twenty minute journey.
Some old lady in front of us takes forever getting out of her seat and walking down the steps. Why the hell is she coming out to a bar in the first place? By the time we make it into the club I spot them by the bar surrounded by a gaggle of blonde, big-titted bimbos. Boys will be boys I suppose.
This club is actually adorable. It’s only slightly larger than our local bar and is full of old-fashioned looking mahogany furniture. They’ve stapled things to the walls and ceiling like they do in TGIF’s, maybe to hide cracks in the old walls. They’ve tried to jazz it up a bit by having neon lights behind the bar and a small DJ booth in the corner. The DJ is blaring out Rockabye by Sean Paul and Clean Bandit.
But then I see that Jack is flirting away, making two blondes in particular laugh their arses off, tits jumping up and down in their tops, threatening to spill over. He can’t stop looking at them as they bounce either. What the fuck? What is he playing at?
‘Ignore it, babe,’ Brooke says, a hand on my shoulder. ‘He’s just trying to get a reaction.’
‘Well, he’s getting one,’ I begrudgingly admit.
‘Let’s just stop being girls for tonight and do some shots,’ Alice says, a mischievous look in her eyes. ‘Dance like Beyoncé. Forget all about stinky boys.’
‘I’ll cheer to that.’
So, a few hours later I’m a bit more pissed and I’m also feeling a bit braver. The girls are right; dancing to Beyoncé’s Run the World (girls) does empower you. And now I’m feeling angry. Really fucking angry. How dare this little prick ignore me like this! He has no right to try and play with my emotions like that. Yeah, I upset him earlier, but if he’d have given me half a second I’d have had a chance to apologise. Instead he chose to push those big-titted blondes in my face. Well fuck him!
I charge over to him, feeling every emotion rising from my gut into words I’m desperate to spill at him. I push past the two bimbos and charge at him. His eyes widen in alarm.
‘You!’ I practically shout. I grab his arm and start dragging him towards the exit. I’m shocking myself how strong I am right now. He trails on behind me.
‘What’s going on Erica? Stop!’
I get him out of the door and up the steps towards the coach, then turn and stick my finger into his chest.
‘Ow! Eric, what the fuck?’
‘Err, no. You don’t get the cheek to ask me what the fuck is happening! What the fuck do YOU think you’re doing blatantly flirting with those bitches right in front of me?’
He scoffs, putting his hands in his pockets. ‘Well, call me stupid, but I remember clearly asking you if you felt anything for me earlier and you told me to go away.’
‘Yes, in front of Evelyn! I was obviously going to apologise as soon as I got a chance to speak to you, but now you’ve just proved Evelyn’s point by acting like a man-whore. And if I remember correctly you were only telling me on the bus there how I should accept Karl’s proposal.’
‘What point?’
‘Huh?’
‘What point was Evelyn trying to make?’
‘That you’re going to break my heart, just like you did the first time around.’
He looks away, shaking his head slowly. ‘You know I never meant to do that all those years ago. Things were...complicated.’
He’s telling me.
‘Look, whatever happened all those years ago is in the past.’
He nods in agreement.
‘But right now, you’re showing me that you don’t give a shit about me and are out for anything you can get. Were you serious when you said you wanted me to rethink Karl’s proposal? Do you want to get rid of me now that you’ve had your fun?’
His face drops and he stoops slightly as if I’ve punched him in the stomach. ‘You really think that? You really think that I’m just after sex with you?’
‘Well, what else could it be?’ I say, my voice breaking ridiculously. Way to look like a stalker.
He frowns, the skin around his eyes bunching. ‘You’ve never known how special you are, have you Eric?’
I sigh, as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders. ‘Look, I need to know where I stand. I know we can’t make this work in real life, but I want to know if we’re together this holiday? As in exclusively? So we can spend the last few days knowing what the hell this is.’
He smiles. ‘I’m sorry I acted like a dick. I was just trying to make you jealous. You were the one that wanted to keep it secret in the first place. I assumed you were trying to keep your options open. Or that you didn’t want the others to know.’
‘I didn’t,’ I admit. ‘The minute they hear about this the ribbing will start and there’s no point before we know what’s going on. So...what is it...you know, that we’re doing?’
He takes my hand, a shy smile gracing his lips. ‘This holiday you’re mine.’
How is it that four little words can make me so happy?
I nod, grinning like a loon. ‘And you’re mine too?’ I clarify. ‘No blonde bimbos?’
He raises one eyebrow and points back towards the bar. ‘You honestly think girls like that interest me?’
I shrug, still feeling insecure. ‘Maybe.’
He shakes his head, rolling his eyes. He takes my hand and pulls me closer. ‘What are you like?’ he chuckles, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I feel a thrill go through me. He doesn’t like those girls. He wants a real woman, like me. Even if only for this holiday.
He slams his lips against mine with such force that we both walk backwards until I hit the side of the coach, some kind of button pressing into my back.
Pssh, comes a sound to my right.
We both look round to see that the coach doors have opened. I must have pressed against the open switch. Jack’s face lights up like a kid at Christmas. He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, mischief dancing in them.
‘Shall we?’
A thrill of excitement goes through me. ‘We shall.’
He leads me onto the bus and down to the back seats. He sits down, pulling me onto his lap.
‘Come here,’ he says, beckoning me with his finger.
I lean forward slightly. His hands delve into my hair, pulling me into an urgent kiss. He grasps and pulls urgently, my lady bits lighting up in excitement.
His tongue teases mine, sending a tingle all down my spine. He breaks contact to lick down my neck. His hands reach behind me and unzip my dress. Be still my thudding, thumping heart.
He pulls my dress and strapless bra down, taking a nipple in his mouth, suckling on it so tenderly I arch my back. His fingers push up my dress, finding their way into my knickers. They’re pushed aside before he plunges two fingers inside me. That’s obviously becoming his signature move.
A chill that has nothing to do with the weather makes me shiver. I groan like a wanton whore. I need him now. My fingers find the button of his jeans, ripping them open and pulling down the zipper. I grab him in my hand and start pumping his velvety soft skin.
‘Do you have a condom?’ I whisper into his ear. At least I remembered to ask this time.
‘Yeah,’ he says, his voice shaky. He pulls one out of his pocket and sheaths himself in record time. Someone’s eager.
He rips off my knickers, sniffs them like the pervert he is and then helps me straddle him. I ease myself down onto him, my eyes practically rolling to the back of my head. It feels wonderful.
I start slow, but he quickly takes over, impaling me on him with no mercy. Before long we’re both hot, sweaty and close.
I shudder with the intensity of the sensations as his hand glides over my thigh tenderly. I throw my head back as my body writhes around of its own accord, transporting me to a planet of awesome.
The noise of chatter coming closer to the bus pulls me out of my ecstasy. Shit, they’re coming back. I look back to Jack, panicked.
‘Shit.’
We readjust our clothes just in time for people to start boarding the bus. Damn enthusiastic bastards. I settle myself down next to him and quickly comb through my hair with my fingers. No matter which position I use it always gets messed up and sex hair always gives me away.
Jack puts his arm around me. ‘You ready for this? For everyone to know?’
I smile back up at him, feeling nothing but love. ‘You betcha.’
Tom and Brooke are the first ones to pass us.
‘Evelyn’s coming,’ Brooke hisses, obviously wanting to warn us.
‘It’s cool,’ Jack says, ‘we’re making it public.’
‘Wait, you two?’ Tom says, looking between us with furrowed brows.
‘Catch up, Tom,’ Charlie chuckles, barging past him. ‘Like, so two days ago.’
Molly and Alice turn to stare at Charlie then back at us.
‘No way!’ Alice shouts, swaying from side to side, clearly drunk.
‘You make such a cute couple!’ Molly sings, hugging Charlie. ‘Aren’t they adorable!’
‘Isn’t who adorable?’ Evelyn asks from further down.
My entire body tenses. Here we go. Jack gives a reassuring rub onto my back.
‘Good luck,’ Brooke whispers, moving to sit in front of us quickly.
The moment she spots us I can see she knows. She quickly looks away and attempts to ignore us. I hate when she does the ignoring, I haven’t seen you kind of thing!
‘Evelyn!’ Brooke shouts, demanding her attention.
She looks over us to Brooke. ‘Yes?’
‘What do you think of Jack and Erica getting together?’ she asks, mischief in her eyes. She wants to get a reaction. I suppose better to get it out of the way now than let it drag onto tomorrow.
She looks me dead in the eye. ‘Ecstatic,’ she drawls sarcastically before averting her gaze and finding a seat.
‘Well, that went better than expected,’ Jack whispers in my ear.
Chapter Sixteen
Tuesday
Erica
It was so nice to be able to spend the night with Jack without having to sneak around. Brooke slept somewhere else to give us some space. Apparently she slept in Tom’s room again. Insert eye roll here. That girl cannot be tamed.
It’s so lovely to sit next to Jack on the bus and not worry about people sussing us out. He has his arm loosely around my shoulder. Every now and again he strokes the back of my neck, playing with the loose strands of hair that didn’t get collected in my top knot. I keep shivering, goosepimples appearing along my arms.
Today we’re going on an excursion to see a waterfall. Apparently, there’s some kind of old wives tale that if you swim under it you’ll be blessed with love in abundance. I know this is only a holiday fling, but it doesn’t stop me wanting to drag Jack underneath it just in case.
I’m already feeling gloomy about when we have to say goodbye to each other. But every time I think about it I shake my head, pull myself together and remind myself that this comes as no shock to me. I knew it would never work out. We have to enjoy it while we can.
The bus pulls up a dirt road and a few minutes later comes to a stop outside what looks like a jungle—lush green trees hiding any signs of a waterfall.
‘Follow me everyone,’ our tubby tour guide calls. We’ll be lucky if he doesn’t keel over from a heart attack on the way.
Jack takes my hand and guides me off the bus. I love my hand being in his...far too much. Sigh.
‘Now,’ tubby tour guide says, ‘please be careful in the jungle. There are some lizards around, so be careful where you step. Respect the environment.’
Lizards? I’d better not see a lizard or I’ll freak the fuck out.
‘Respect the environment?’ Jack whispers into my ear in amusement. I can feel the smile.
‘Yeah, fuck that,’ I whisper back. ‘If I see a lizard I’ll be screaming and running a mile.’
He grins. ‘Don’t worry,’ he whispers back into my ear. ‘I’ll protect you.’ A thrill goes up my spine as his breath caresses my ear.
&n
bsp; ‘Woo! Let’s go!’ Molly shouts from near the front, as enthusiastic as ever.
We look at each other and burst out laughing. The tubby tour guide pushes some leaves apart to get into it and everyone starts piling in. Once we are inside it’s like another world. Trees bigger than my house tower over us and the sounds of the jungle take over. I can hear the chirps of birds, or is that crickets? I’m not sure, but I find myself clinging to Jack’s t-shirt regardless. Everyone’s oohing and aahing over how fantastic it is and I’m over here freaking out.
We hike through the dry mud, trees slapping me in the face at every turn. It reminds me of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. I always assumed that was fake, but looking at this now it could be real. I’m sure my mum has that plant in her lounge.
‘Be careful,’ the tour guide shouts from ahead. ‘It gets a bit...’ His voice becomes muffled.
‘What did he say?’ I ask Jack, completely out of breath.
He shrugs. ‘No idea.’
We’ve lagged a bit behind the others due to me being seriously unfit. I really need to add some cardio to my life.
‘We should hurry up.’ It’s so much darker in here without the sunlight filtering through. ‘I don’t fancy getting lost in here.’
I quicken my pace, checking my trainers for lizards.
‘I don’t know,’ he says from behind me, ‘I wouldn’t mind getting lost in here with you.’
I swivel to laugh in his face and openly swoon at how utterly gorgeous he is, but lose my footing. Before I have a second to contemplate what’s happening my leg is swinging behind me. The air swooshes past my face and then I’m face down. I push my face up, my hands squelching in thick, wet mud. Ugh, I thought the ground was dry around here?
‘Shit,’ Jack shouts, his arms under my shoulder, pulling me up. The minute he sees my face a grin explodes onto his. ‘Shit.’ He doubles over laughing hysterically.
‘What’s so funny?’ I demand, trying to wipe some of the mud off my face.
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