His Sweet Torment: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance

by Michelle Love

  But not tonight, my love. Tonight, I allow you to live. Tonight, you may dream of days to come, weeks, months, years, in which you will make plans, plans which may never come to pass.

  Because, my lovely Lila, I will come back for you…and when I do, you will beg for death before I finish with you. The horrors I will visit on that perfect body of yours before I take your life…

  …they will be the stuff of legend.

  Seattle

  Noah Applebaum was having a bad day. A really bad day. First, a most beloved patient had died unexpectedly on his table, then later, a colleague, a good friend, had quit, telling everybody that he wanted to spend more time at home with his family.

  ‘Bullcrap, Billy,’ Noah had said to him, enraged, ‘They’ve forced you out.’

  Bill Nordstrom sighed sadly. ‘Noah, when you get to my age, you realize – older people are written off. They’re worried about their liability. If I make one mistake and a patient dies…’

  ‘That comes with the territory of being a doctor,’ Noah shook his head. ‘They’re fucking cowards, is all.’

  Bill, his seventieth birthday just passed, smiled at Noah, his wise old eyes crinkling at the edges. ‘Kiddo, I’ve seen it and done it all. It’s time.’

  Fuck the Board. Noah had fumed about it all day, his usual good humor missing. That’s not the only thing missing. Lila. God, he missed her like he was missing a limb. He wanted to see her, touch her, hold her, make sure she was okay, was safe. He had been shocked by Richard Carnegie’s murder, had wanted to reach out to her but he didn’t know if she would want that, whether it would be appropriate given what had passed between Lila and himself.

  That day was imprinted on his memory, the feel of her soft skin, her lips, and the velvety warmth of her cunt…her violet eyes shining up at him. What they did…so unprofessional, so wrong given her situation and her health…felt so right. The moment his cock had slid into her, he knew that he was lost. She was his for such a brief moment in time but his heart was forever hers now.

  Missing her was another reason why Noah drove home in a foul mood. When he saw Lauren, his ex-girlfriend of five year ago, parked in her convertible outside his condo, he was about ready to explode.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Short, brusque, hoping she’d take the hint.

  She didn’t. ‘I was just driving past some of our old favorite haunts and I got nostalgic,’ she said with what she must have thought was a sensual smile. Noah wasn’t impressed.

  ‘Lauren, this isn’t a good time.’

  He stalked to his front door – and she followed. ‘Come on, NoNo; invite me in for a drink.’

  Ugh. He’d forgotten about that damned nickname – who calls a six-five forty-year-old man ‘NoNo’?

  Man, you really are in a dark place…calm down. Noah sighed. ‘One drink then. I’m really tired, Lauren.’ Please god, don’t let her call herself ‘LoLo’ – there was no way he was up for being ‘NoNo and LoLo’ tonight. Suddenly he found his humor again. As he walked into the house, he found himself wanting to talk with Lila, tell her about the horrifyingly twee names Lauren would give them. Lila would find it hilarious.

  Lauren saw his smile and got encouraged. ‘It’s been too long, Noah.’

  Noah poured the both a drink. ‘Tequila is all I have. No lime, sorry.’

  ‘Doesn’t matter. How have you been?’

  Noah drew in a deep breath. ‘Good, look, I don’t want to be rude but – ‘

  ‘Why am I here?’

  He nodded, and then relented. ‘Not that it’s not good to see you.’

  Lauren sat back and smiled. ‘I really was just passing some of the places we used to hang out, where we had good times. Remember we used to walk your dog at the Gasworks? Sunday afternoons. We’d make huge bowls of pasta when we got home and loll about in front of the TV. for the rest of the day. I miss that.’

  Noah sat down opposite her. ‘Yes, those were the good days. But, Lauren, they were quickly outnumbered by the bad.’

  Lauren’s smile faded. ‘And I know I was to blame for that, Noah. I was young and greedy and stupid, and I apologize. I was too dumb to see beyond your family, and their wealth.’ She leaned forward, her pretty face earnest. ‘But, Noah…I’ve grown up so much you probably wouldn’t recognize me. I’ve made my own money, become fully independent and I want you to know…I’d like to try again.’

  Noah opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off, her voice shaking. ‘Please, just hear me out.’

  Noah gave her a brief, short nod and she smiled gratefully. ‘Noah, these last five years apart have been lonely. Yes, I’ve seen other people but no-one I connected with as much as you. Please, Noah, won’t you at least think about it?’

  Noah sighed. ‘Lauren…it’s not that easy.’

  She studied him. ‘Is there someone else?’

  Yes, yes, god, yes. ‘It’s complicated.’

  Lauren’s hands were trembling. ‘I see. Well…I’m sorry to have bothered you.’

  Noah felt sorry for her. ‘Lauren, look, if it weren’t for – ‘

  ‘Please don’t say whatever it is you’re about to,’ Lauren cut him off and stood up. ‘I don’t want your pity, Noah. I came to say my piece and I have. I’m sorry to have bothered you.’

  He walked her to the door and as he opened it, she touched his arm. ‘I hope she knows how lucky she is.’

  Noah felt sadness settle over him. ‘It’s me who should feel like that. I’m sorry, Lauren, for all of this but I just can’t think past her at the moment.’

  Lauren nodded then suddenly kissed him full on the mouth. ‘Goodbye, Noah. I’ll never forget you.’

  Noah shut the door behind her, blowing out his cheeks, releasing the tension. If Lauren’s visit had done anything, it had just solidified in Noah’s mind that he couldn’t move on. He wanted Lila so much it physically hurt him to think about her. Screw it, he thought, just get to New York, find her and see what could be.

  In an hour, he was on the plane to the Big Apple.

  Manhattan

  Harry Carnegie, not known for being nervous, now felt it keenly. He sat with his father, Richard Carnegie Sr., waiting for the older man’s reaction to what he had just told him. Richard Sr. stared out of the window. Harry noticed how much his pa had aged in the last year, how quiet and subdued he’d become. They talked every other day on Skype when Harry was back in Australia and although Richard Sr. had never been an exuberant man, he enjoyed joking with his son as they talked. Now, though, his eyes were flat, his posture one of defeat.

  ‘Dad?’ The waiting was killing Harry. Richard Sr. blinked as if finally remembering his son was in his office.

  ‘Harrison…you have to do what you love in this life. Do I wish what you loved was running the business you built? Of course, but realistically, who loves that? It’s your decision, son. It’s not as if you have to get rid of the business, just get some good managers in.’

  ‘That’s just it, Dad. I don’t want the business; I don’t want to be burdened by it. We could sell it for…well…billions. I just want to start over, build boats, and be freer in my everyday life.’

  Richard Sr. rubbed his chin. ‘Harry, I mean it. It’s your decision – you’re a young man with every opportunity open to you. Do it, try it out. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.’ He suddenly gave his son a wry smile. ‘I’d be even happier if you decided to make boats here.’

  Harry shifted uncomfortably. ‘Dad…’

  Richard held up his hands. ‘Oh I know, I know. You’re an Australian now. We just miss you, is all.’

  Harry left his father’s office and decided to stroll around the city. Melbourne had half the population of New York City; here there were too many people in too small a place. Harry always felt like he couldn’t breathe when he was here.

  He shoved his hands into his pants pockets and felt something slit the top of his finger. ‘Son of a…’ He pulled the offending object out. A business card. The card Ti
nsley Chang had given him. Harry sucked his finger to get rid of the blood, and stared at the card. The bar was only a few blocks from here…

  Decision made, he turned on his heel and headed into the Village.

  ‘Tins, help me out here,’ Riley Kinsayle grinned at the blonde bar woman. ‘Charlie wants me to believe that the reason you two broke up was because of his huge…commitment to work.’

  Charlie, sitting next to his partner, grinned at his ex-girlfriend. ‘Ignore him; he has the mentality of a four-year-old.’

  Tinsley laughed, drying glasses and stacking them neatly behind the bar. ‘Riley, I’ll tell you the truth….it was just that his cock was too damn big for me.’ She winked at Charlie who raised a glass.

  ‘That’s my girl.’

  Riley cackled with laughter then sighed. ‘At least you got some action; I can’t even remember the last time I got laid.’

  ‘Probably because you’re always talking about it and not doing anything about it,’ Charlie muttered, rolling his eyes.

  Tinsley chuckled then her smile faded. ‘You guys any closer to finding out who tried to kill Lila? Because if it wasn’t Richard then…’

  Riley shook his head soberly and Charlie looked morose. ‘No and it’s driving me crazy. She’s driving me crazy too; she doesn’t want to believe it was Richard Carnegie but at the same time, now she doesn’t want extra protection. She let Carnegie’s security go, you know?’

  ‘And you’re frightened that someone will get to her?’

  Charlie sighed. ‘Look, truth. I still think it was Carnegie. I think he knew their relationship was rocky, that his family adored Lila, that the only way out that he didn’t look like the bad guy was if she were murdered by some stalker. He may not have wielded that knife but I’ll bet my life that he knew who did.’

  ‘And you have proof of that, detective?’

  All three of them started at the voice behind them. Harrison Carnegie stared at them with unfriendly eyes. ‘My brother is dead. His fiancée does not believe in any way he could do that to her and she’s right. Richard wasn’t capable of the kind of violence it takes to stab an innocent woman fourteen times in the belly. He wasn’t capable of violence, period.’

  Harry’s eyes met Tinsley’s for the briefest second then he turned and stalked out. The three of them were frozen for a second then Tinsley darted out from behind the bar and after Harry.

  Outside, she glanced around quickly and found him walking quickly down the block.

  ‘Harry! Wait!’

  He didn’t stop and she found herself running down the block after him. He reached the corner just as she grabbed his arm. ‘Harry, please, wait, we didn’t mean anything. We're just worried about Lila, is all.’

  Harry stopped and she took her hand from his arm. He looked down at her, his eyes full of conflict. ‘He was my brother, you know?’

  Tinsley nodded. ‘I do know, and for what it’s worth, I’m with Lila. I hung out with Richard long enough to know that he was a good guy. If he wanted to break up with her, he would have. This was some other crazy.’ She half-smiled. ‘Lila does have a tendency to attract them. It’s that face and body of hers, it drives men wild.’

  Harry smiled softly. ‘She’s a beauty, alright, but then so are you.’

  ‘Sweet talker.’

  Harry gave a loud, genuine laugh then. ‘It’s true. Look, I’m sorry I got the wrong impression; I just thought you guys were dumping on my brother.’

  Tinsley felt a little uncomfortable then decided the truth was the best way to go with this guy. ‘In all honesty…I think Charlie always had a problem with Richard. Charlie and Lila grew up together, they protect each other like siblings, and they fight each other like siblings. They were street kids, you know? So Charlie isn’t impressed with wealth. I believe he was of the opinion that Richard thought he could buy Lila.’

  ‘Again, Rich – ‘

  ‘Oh I know. Richard proved himself over and over but, hey, you know…Lila’s Charlie’s responsibility – at least that's what he thinks.’

  Harry nodded. ‘Got it.’ He sighed, looked around at the busy streets. ‘Look, I don’t particularly want to go back to that bar but what say I meet you for drinks tonight somewhere else?’

  Tinsley smiled. ‘That sounds great; I was hoping you’d stop by. I guess this means you’re going back to Melbourne soon?’

  Harry gazed down at her, her bright, blue eyes so kind and warm, a faint flush of pink on her cheeks, her hair all mussed up from working. Something shifted inside him and he found himself smiling back at her. Tentatively, he stroked her cheek – just a tiny movement but their gazes locked – and held.

  ‘Soon but not just yet. I’d like to see you…what say Mona’s at eight?’

  Tinsley grinned widely and Harry felt his cock twitch, aroused by her loveliness. He could imagine taking her in his arms, her lithe body curving around his, her small breasts against his chest…

  ‘I’ll be there…look, I have to get back or Riley will have drunk the profits. See you tonight.’

  With a wave, she was gone, darting quickly away from him and disappearing into the crowds.

  Don’t get too involved, Harry told himself, it’s a nightmare waiting to happen.

  But he walked back to his hotel with the biggest smile on his face.

  Lila sat on the edge of the bathtub in her new apartment and closed her eyes. She counted three minutes out in seconds, carefully not thinking about anything else but the seconds ticking by. Definitely not thinking about what she thought was happening to her; the days and days of sickness and pain. Definitely not thinking about what she would do. And most of all, definitely not thinking about what it could mean to every single relationship in her life.

  One-hundred-and-eighty-seconds. Done. She opened her eyes and looked down at the small plastic stick on her bathroom cabinet.

  Oh shit. Oh shit.

  Noah had been in New York for two days and hadn’t found her. If he was being honest, he didn’t even know where to begin looking for her. Well, that wasn’t exactly true; there was one way but he’d exhaust every other option before he got in contact with Charlie Sherman. Although he’d had very little contact with the man, his fierce big brother stance made Noah wary of going to him. What would he say? Oh, hey man, just checking in on my old patient…Sherman would see through that immediately and his guard would go up. No, there must be some other way.

  Noah had a few friends here, some connected with his family. Maybe one of them had an ‘in’ with the Carnegies? Now you’re thinking, he told himself, ‘let’s do this.’

  Now that Lila lived only a couple of blocks from the bar, Tinsley could go there after work and see her friend. She handed over to Mikey now and snagged her bag from the backroom.

  ‘Going to see Lila,’ she hollered as she left.

  ‘Give her my love,’ Mikey shouted back and Tinsley grinned. They were her little family away from home. When Lila had been stabbed, Tinsley had been heartbroken, scared, and she visited Lila almost as much as the Carnegie family. They were such a sweet family that she felt immediately at ease with them. And now there was Harry Carnegie…

  Just friends, she told herself firmly. Just two Aussies going out to bond over their homeland. Yeah, Harry wasn’t really an Aussie but fifteen years in the country – she reckoned that counted. And it truly, truly had nothing to do with his warm brown eyes, his broad shouldered body, and those big, gentle hands. Nope, nothing.

  When she got to Lila’s building, she rode the elevator up to the third floor and made her way to Lila’s apartment. She carried a bottle of tequila Mikey had given her, and she wore a huge smile as Lila opened the door, which faded when she saw Lila in tears.

  ‘Hey, hey, honey, what’s the matter?’

  Lila burst into fresh sobs and Tinsley couldn’t make out a word she was saying. She wrapped her arms around Lila, kicking the door shut behind her. She steered Lila towards the couch and let her cry herself out.

&nb
sp; ‘Ssh, ssh, just tell me, what’s wrong?’

  Lila, her face awash with salty tears, looked at her with desperate, hopeless eyes. ‘Oh god, Tinsley…I have fucked up. I have fucked up royally and I don’t know what to do…’

  As she cried, Tinsley hugged her tightly, her own heart thumping. Whatever it was, it had scared the crap out of Lila and Tinsley wondered if it was something she could come back from, or if her friend really was in trouble…

  ‘Dr. Applebaum?’

  Noah turned to see the tiny redhead looking up at him. Cora Carnegie. He smiled. ‘Hello, again, Cora, how lovely to see you.’

  His face remained smooth but inside, his heart began to thump expectantly. What if Lila were here too? He’d felt bad, finagling a last minute invitation to brunch as the guest of some of his parent’s oldest friends but they had warmly welcomed him, showered him with questions about the older Applebaum’s, and the food was incredible, piles upon piles of fresh baked pastries, fresh fruit, scrambled eggs with truffles scattered liberally on top of them. Noah had started to enjoy the gathering almost separately from his plan but now; Cora Carnegie was standing in front of him.’ She was even thinner than he remembered, the skin of her face pulled taut, her eyes almost sunken. Noah’s heart went out to the young woman. ‘I was so sorry to hear about your brother,’ he said in a soft tone, ‘I can’t begin to imagine what it’s been like. How are your mother – and Lila?’

  He hoped his question didn’t sound desperate but Cora didn’t pick up on his eagerness. ‘Mom’s okay, getting through it. She’s here, somewhere, I know she’d love to see you. What are you doing in New York?’