Wolf Queen (A New Dawn Novel Book 6)

by Rachel M Raithby

  She had no idea what she was doing or how to take care of a child. All she’d really known was listening to Mathew cry out John’s name—his first word since his parents had been killed—hearing such desperation and anguish, and seeing those emotions shining in Mathew’s blue eyes, had been enough to silence all her fears and insecurities and follow what she knew in her heart was right.

  Mathew was meant to be hers—hers and Johns—even if the idea of it frightened her more than anything else had in her life.

  Chapter 30

  John

  He wasn’t sure what had just happened, only that Mathew crying his name had torn apart his heart.

  “You’re keeping him?” Melody demanded, hands on hips.

  Owen placed a hand on her shoulder. “He’s had a big ordeal, Mel. Give the boy time.”

  “You’re not even mated, John. How are you going to look after a child?”

  John stared from Melody to Bass, unsure what to do. What he wanted to do was shut the door on them and find Eva and ask her what was going through her head.

  “I think,” Bass said, stepping forward, “Mathew attached himself to John, and we all need time to give him a chance to settle. He’s clearly scared. There’s no rush, is there?”

  “She’s human, Bass, she won’t know how to look after a shifter child.”

  Anger flared in John’s gut, his grip on the door tightening. Both Bass and Owen met his gaze with a slight shake of their heads.

  “Let’s go, Mel, before you insult John further.”

  “I’ll take your night patrol, John,” Bass offered. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  John closed the door, his eyes sliding shut as he leaned back on the locked door and pulled in a deep breath. Eva thought he was ready for a family, but the truth was, he hadn’t even thought about having a mate until he’d laid eyes on her, and even after that, he’d ignored the pull toward her for a long time.

  It was true there was a part of him that yearned for kids and a mate waiting at home, but it wasn’t a yearning that overtook his entire mind. John was quite happy slowly coaxing Eva into his bed and deeper into his heart. He was in no rush, but it seemed life had pushed him forward anyway—roughly from behind.

  It was in his nature to protect the innocent. Turning away from Mathew would have been akin to chopping off his own leg. The boy had needed comfort and help and had found it in John—normally the biggest, scariest man in the room. But that didn’t mean John was necessarily the right man to become the child’s new guardian, yet peeling him from his arms as he’d cried had gone against every instinct inside him.

  Going to his room, John found Eva on the bed, gently rocking Mathew as tears rolled down her face.

  “What am I doing, John?” she whispered as she looked up at him. “I’ve no idea how to be a mother. Sometimes I can’t even look after myself.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” he murmured, climbing onto the bed and wrapping them both into his arms.

  “How can you be so sure?” she mumbled, turning her face into his chest. “We haven’t even begun to know each other, and I’m a complete mess. Maybe he would be better off with Melody.” Mathew whimpered. “She’d be the better mom. I just couldn’t listen to him cry anymore and watch it tear you apart.” She sniffed loudly. “Damn it, why do I keep crying?”

  Laughing gently, John sat back slightly and cupped her face with one hand, swiping his thumb across the tears tumbling down her face. “Women cry.” He shrugged.

  “I heard what Melody said,” Eva admitted. “She’s right. I’m not your mate. Maybe you’d be better with your own kind.”

  John’s grip on her tightened as his breath froze in his lungs. “You’re my mate, Evaline.”

  She shook her head, eyes glassy and sad. “Not like the other couples here. I’ve heard them talking about the mating bond like it’s some magical connection. We don’t have that.”

  “Not yet, but we will when you’re ready.”

  “Me?” she asked, fear clouding her eyes.

  With a smile, John kissed her softly, before gazing down at Mathew, who’d stopped crying and was peering up at them both, his face blotchy.

  “Yes, you. If it was left up to me, it would have snapped into place the second I laid eyes on you.”

  “Just like that,” she whispered. “That quickly you knew?”

  “Yeah. Took me a little longer to accept it though,” he admitted. “I’m not fearless, Eva. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know I’ll love you for all of time.”

  Eva’s face screwed up suddenly. “Eww! Matty, you peed on me.” Shuffling off the bed, she held him at arm’s length. “We need diapers, John. So gross. It’s all warm. Eww!” She laughed.

  John took her in, the laughter on her lips, tears glistening on her skin, jeans wet and a giggling Mathew in her arms, and somehow, he knew in his heart they’d be okay.

  They had to be. They were a family now.

  “I’ll go find some,” he said, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

  “Come on, you. You need another bath,” Eva said, marching Mathew out of the room, still at arm’s length. “And clothes, John, he needs clean clothes.”

  Leaving Eva to it, John walked out of the cabin and tipped his head to the sky. Clothes, diapers… what else do two-year-old’s need? Turning left, he did what any other man would do in the same situation. He went to see his mother.

  ***

  It turned out his mother was a hoarder and had somehow managed to keep what seemed like everything from his childhood packed in boxes, which had, by some miracle, survived the fire and everything else Dark Shadow had been through.

  He’d left armed with clothes, and toys, and things he had no idea the use of, and a promise to bring Eva around to meet her. Apparently, the pack’s gossip line wasn’t good enough for her. His news had to come straight from his mouth in the future.

  Later that night, he laid Mathew asleep on the bed in the spare room, wearing a pair of faded train pajamas, which had once been his. John hugged Eva close to his side, and they watched Mathew’s little chest gently lift up and down.

  “Are we really doing this?” Eva whispered.

  “It appears so.”

  “I’m terrified,” she admitted.

  Turning her, John looked down at his woman, who was far stronger and braver than she gave herself credit for, and whose heart, although broken from the loss of her mother, had found the strength to let in a little boy who’d called out in need.

  “I’m terrified too,” he whispered. Bending, he kissed her. “We can be terrified together.”

  That night, he slept with her head on his chest, her limbs tangled with his and his heart as full as it could get. At some point, he registered movement in the room, then a light weight joined them on the bed, and John’s heart surprised him again, expanding to the point of pain. Mathew wiggled between them, Eva’s arm automatically curling around his small frame, and Mathew became the glue that held them all together.

  Chapter 31

  Eva

  Being woke by little fingers prodding her face was both beautiful and strange. But the strangeness soon faded away as she shifted to find John awake and watching them with eyes shiny with emotion.

  “Can I do this forever?” he asked softly.

  Mathew wiggled and sat up, patting his stomach.

  Eva smiled, her gaze meeting John’s. “Seems not. You’ve got to go hunt and gather.”

  Growling low, John made a scary face. “Rabbit or deer?”

  Mathew returned the noise, his squeak of a growl the cutest thing Eva had ever heard.

  “I was thinking more like pancakes or Pop-Tarts.” Her nose wrinkled up. “Go hunt in the pack kitchen.”

  “Got it.” John climbed out of bed, blowing her a kiss as he headed out the door, doing up the jeans he’d just pulled on, a shirt in his hand. “Be right back.”

  Mathew jumped into John’s space, seeming to roll about in his spot more like a cat t
han a canine. “You know,” Eva said, moving onto her side and peering at the small, dark-haired boy. “I do remember tucking you into your own bed last night.”

  He grinned, pulling the covers up to his chin.

  “Cheeky little rascal, aren’t you?”

  “Eva?” her father called, followed by her brother, “Morning, sis.”

  Mathew ducked underneath the duvet.

  Eva followed him. “Hey, don’t be afraid, Matty. It’s just my brother and dad.”

  “Eva?”

  Freezing, Eva contemplated staying under the duvet with Mathew. It might be safer than explaining her current situation.

  “Hey, Dad,” she said, poking her head out. “You know this is John’s room you keep waltzing into, right?”

  “Zac said he wasn’t here,” her father explained, frowning at the tiny lump next to her.

  Zackary tapped his nose. “Comes in handy. Though I do scent someone else in the bed with you.”

  Their father looked between them, his eyes narrowing just as Mathew’s head popped up.

  “Err, Ev, there’s a tiny human in the bed,” Zackary pointed out.

  “Everyone, say hi to, Matty,” Eva replied as her stomach did a tiny flip, apprehension seeming to get stuck in the back of her throat.

  Her brother waved, grinning, but her father’s expression remained unchanged as if he’d shut down.

  “Dad?” she said tentatively. The last thing Mathew needed was her father losing his cool and shouting at her. It was the last thing she needed too, because with shouting came tears, and she’d shed enough of those last night. Deciding it was maybe best to get out of the bed before John returned with breakfast and World War III broke out, Eva sat up fully. “Guys, can you give me and Matty a moment? I need to get dressed, and Mathew needs a clean diaper.”

  Her father’s eyes bored into hers, so Eva looked to her brother for help, silently screaming at him to do something.

  “Come on, Dad,” Zackary said, getting the message. “Let’s go make coffee.”

  Jumping out of bed the second the door closed, Eva quickly pulled on the sweatpants she’d put on after Mathew had peed on her and then went over to the pile of stuff John had chucked into the corner of the room from his mom.

  “Let’s find you some clothes, Matty, and a diaper.” Collecting what she needed, Eva went over to the bed and wrestled him out from beneath the covers, doing her best not to smile at his antics, and changed the first diaper of her life. It would have been far easier if Mathew hadn’t been laughing and kicking his legs. “Okay, buddy, let’s go out there and say hello.” Lifting him into her arms, Eva took a deep breath before facing the music and the inevitable argument which was coming.

  Zackary was boiling the kettle when she came out, her father leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. Eva didn’t think she’d ever seen him look so angry. She had to admit she was a little scared.

  “John is going to be back any minute. He went to get us breakfast,” Eva explained.

  “And who is us, Evaline?” he snapped.

  Mathew clearly picking up on the tension, turned his head toward her chest. “Dad, will you please tone it down? He’s been through enough.”

  He didn’t seem convinced. “Mathew’s from the group they brought from Indiana yesterday, Dad,” Zackary explained. “Remember I told you about the kids with no parents, and you said how sad it was.”

  “Hmm,” he grunted.

  Sighing, Eva motioned for Zackary to come over. “Hey, Matty, this is my brother, Zac. Did you want to go show him those cool cars John got you last night while I make a drink?”

  He eyed Zackary, not so convinced.

  “I’ll be right in the kitchen, I promise. No one is going to take you away from me or John.”

  Her father coughed. Zackary rolled his eyes, then smiled at Mathew. “I like cars. Can I play with you, pleeaasse, Matty?”

  At last, Mathew nodded and struggled, indicating he wanted to be put down, before running over to the toys John had brought from his mom’s.

  Okay…. Eva entered the kitchen feeling slightly queasy, her hands unsteady as she reached for some mugs. Coffee…. What do two-year-old’s drink? She glanced at Mathew, currently flying a red car through the air for Zackary, and then to her father as rigid as ever. “Do two-year-old’s need milk, Dad?”

  “That question is precisely why this entire situation is not happening,” her father ground out.

  Choosing not to bite, Eva asked again, “Should I give him milk, Dad?”

  “Yes. I’m going outside.”

  Blinking back tears, Eva returned to the bedroom, sure she’d seen a sippy cup in the pile of things John had brought over. “Aha.” She picked it up, washed it out, and then filled it with milk, before heading over to her brother and Mathew. “Hey, buddy, want a drink?”

  Mathew took it without looking up, his focus on the cars, but proceeded to sip and play.

  “I think you should talk to him, Ev. He looks like he’s about to blow a gasket.”

  “I don’t know what to say to him when he’s like this, Zac. It’s normally you who’s causing him to act that way.”

  He shrugged. “Do what I do then.”

  “What’s that?” she huffed.

  “Act like I’ve done nothing wrong, and like I’m not listening to a word he’s saying.”

  Great advice, little brother. “I haven’t done anything wrong, Zac.”

  “Should be easy then.” He laughed. “Go on. I’ll watch Mathew.”

  Clenching and unclenching her fists as she walked across the room, Eva shook out her hands before taking hold of the door handle and glancing back to be sure Mathew was happy with her brother.

  Okay, Eva, let’s do this!

  Pacing up and down outside of the cabin, Eva’s father was attracting attention, and she was sure they’d attract more by the time this conversation was over. She supposed she might as well get used to everyone knowing their business if she was staying.

  “Dad, I need you to calm down,” she murmured, standing in his path.

  “Calm down!” His face reddened. “How can I calm down when you’re throwing your life away?” His hands flew in the air dramatically, and Eva wished her mother was here. She’d always been the one to sort out conflicts, and the knowledge hurt. It should have been her mom she was asking if toddlers needed milk, not her father. But life didn’t always go as planned, and Eva was trying to adapt and roll with it.

  “How am I throwing my life away?” she asked as calmly as possible.

  “A kid. Are you serious, Eva? John has turned your head, and he’ll keep doing that until all you are is a mom who does nothing but look after kids. Is that what you want?!”

  People were staring, and Eva hated it. “I think you need to lower your voice and think about what you are saying. There’s nothing wrong with being a mom, Dad. That little boy in there has no one and he chose us. What was I supposed to do, turn my back on him?”

  “Give him to someone else,” he rasped.

  “Dad,” she breathed. “Who are you right now?”

  “I’m a father who is not allowing this. Not John, not the boy. We are leaving, Evaline. Right now.” He grasped her arm.

  “You can’t be serious.” Shaking her head, she tried and failed to understand why her father was losing his mind. Sure, the whole “John and Mathew” thing was a bit sudden, and she was a little freaked out, but not enough to warrant a full-blown meltdown. Eva wasn’t throwing her life away. She was trying to navigate the minefields put in her way with the least casualties possible.

  “Deadly.” He tugged, and Eva stubbled forward as he began to march her away. “Dad, stop this. You’re being silly. This is our home now. What are you going to do with Zac?”

  “He’ll stay here, and you’ll be going back to college where you belong.”

  College, this is about freaking college! “Dad, let me go.” She pulled herself free, rubbing at the mark he’d left on her arm.
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  A growl echoed across the clearing, and Eva’s stomach flipped. John steamed toward them, looking as angry as her father. Wonderful. There was no way she was going to defuse the situation now.

  “Touch her again and I don’t care who you are, I’ll put you on your ass,” John gritted between clenched teeth, looking deadly, even with a tray of food balanced in one hand.

  Eva caught Bass out the corner of her eye, shook her head, eyes widening for him to stop. The last thing this situation needed was another alpha male.

  “Me? It’s you who should be keeping your hands off her.” Her father vibrated with emotion, his fists tight balls. “She was going to be someone. Not your bit on the side.”

  The wolf filled John’s eyes. Jumping between them both, Eva pressed her hand to John’s chest. Her heart pounding so fast it was making her dizzy.

  “Dad, stop! Stop it! John and I have done nothing wrong, and you are acting crazy. I’ve told you I’m going to finish my degree and get into vet school. And I’ve told you over and over that I’m not ready yet. Mom’s dead, Dad. She’s dead. And before I can go back to college, I need to learn how to live with that.”

  Swiping at the tears springing free from her eyes, Eva watched her father seem to shrivel and crumple in on himself. “I know she’s dead, Eva,” he said numbly. “And that’s why I’m the only one left to tell you the hard truths.”

  Leaning back into John, she drew strength from his touch and pulled in a shaky breath. “Hard truths?” She shook her head. “Here’s a hard truth for you, Dad. For weeks after Mom died, you stayed locked in your room, and I was the one who made sure Zac was okay, that you all ate and had clean clothes to wear. I know what hard is, Dad. I’ve lived and breathed hard, and I can tell you right now, that little boy in there, and John… loving them is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

  Turning away from her father, Eva exhaled and reached for John. Hand in hand, with her head held up high, she walked away. She was done with being questioned and made to feel like she was a child. That had ended the day her mother left this world.