White Hot Kiss
Page 19
Then he opened his mouth.
“You shouldn’t look at me that way,” he murmured.
A different kind of heat swamped my cheeks and I cleared my throat. “I’m not looking at you in any way.”
He gave his customary lopsided smile. “I know what you’re thinking.”
“You do?”
An eye opened. The pupils were stretched vertically, and I shivered—not out of fear, but from something else entirely. He reached out, brushing a few strands of hair back from my face. His hand lingered on my cheek, surprisingly gentle compared to what came out of his mouth next. “Just so you know, your virtue isn’t safe with me. So when you look like you want me to devour every inch of your mouth, I will without an ounce of regret. However, I doubt you’ll feel the same afterward.”
“How do you know what I’ll regret?”
The moment those words left my mouth, I knew I probably should’ve kept that comment to myself. Both of Roth’s eyes opened and fixed on me. Then he moved incredibly fast.
Hovering above me, he stared down at me with eyes that were a mosaic of every shade of gold imaginable. “I know a lot.”
“You barely know me.”
“I’ve watched you for a long time, always a few steps behind you. I wasn’t trying to be creepy when I told you that before.” He ran his finger along the hem of the borrowed shirt, his knuckles brushing the swell of my chest. “You know what I saw?”
I blinked slowly. “What?”
He stopped messing with the hem and slid his hand along the curve of my ribs as he bent his head down. His lips moved against my ear. “I saw something in you that you desperately try to hide from everyone. Something that reminded me of myself.”
I drew in a shallow breath, mouth dry.
Roth pressed his lips against my temple, sliding his hand under the edge of the shirt. I jumped when his fingers touched my belly. “You always seemed lonely. Even when you were with your friends, you were lonely.”
My chest spasmed. “And you...you’re lonely?”
“What do you think?” He shifted so that one leg was between mine. “But it doesn’t really matter. I’m not lonely right now. Neither are you.”
I wanted to pursue the conversation, but his hand traveled up my stomach, stopping at the edge of my bra. My body had a mind of its own and it arched against his hand, willing him further without really knowing why. His eyes met mine. There was something hot and calculating about his gaze—feral and predatory.
Roth’s gaze landed on my mouth, and I felt his chest rise sharply against mine. A soft breeze kicked up, stirring the canopies. They rolled noiselessly, revealing the sky. I knew he was going to kiss me then. The intent was in his stare, in the way he lowered his head to mine and parted his lips. I reached up, placing my hand on his cheek. His skin was warm, hotter than mine.
Roth pressed against me and my heart beat crazy fast. Our bodies were nearly flush, pieced together, and his musky, wild scent enveloped me. There was a brief moment when his lower body rocked against mine, and every nerve I had came alive, but then he sighed a sound full of regret and rolled off me.
Rolled right on off me.
Standing beside the lounge, he stretched his arms up over his head, flashing a tantalizing glimpse of his abs and the dragon tattoo. “I’ll get us some coffee. We need to talk.”
There was no chance to respond. He was just gone. Poofed like Cayman had in the hall the night before. What the Hell?
Sitting up, I pressed my palm against my forehead and groaned. I used his absence to gather my wits and calm my chaotic pulse. Five minutes later he returned with two cups of steaming coffee.
I blinked. “That was fast.”
“Being a demon has its benefits. Never have to worry about traffic jams.” He popped open the tab and handed it over. “Be careful. It’s hot.”
I murmured my thanks. “What time is it?”
“A little after five in the morning,” he said. “I’m thinking about skipping school today. You should.”
I smiled wearily. “Yeah. I don’t think school is going to happen.”
“Rebel.”
Saying nothing to that, I took a sip of the coffee. French vanilla? My favorite. Just how closely had Roth been watching?
He sat beside me, stretching out long legs. “Seriously, though, how are you feeling?”
“Better. My face doesn’t hurt as much.” I peeked up, wondering if he’d felt anything before he rolled off me and disappeared into thin air or if he’d just been messing with me. “How does it look?”
Roth’s gaze drifted over me, and I had a feeling he wasn’t really paying attention to the bruises. “It looks better.”
There was another stretch of silence, and I reached for my necklace out of habit.
It wasn’t there.
“My necklace?” Dismay hit me. “Petr ripped it off. I have to—”
“I forgot.” Roth leaned back and reached into his pocket. “I saw it on the ground and grabbed it. The chain is broken.”
I took it from his palm. Squeezing my hand around the ring, I wanted to cry like a fat, angry baby. “Thank you,” I whispered. “This ring...”
“It means a lot.”
I looked up. “It does.”
Roth shook his head. “You don’t know how important it really is.”
The ring seemed to burn against my palm and I looked down, slowly opening my hand. In the blossoming sunlight, the stone looked like it was full of black liquid. I thought back to what Roth had told me about my ring and then I thought about what Petr had said.
I looked up and found Roth watching me. A full minute passed before he spoke. “You must be so lonely.”
“We’re back to that again?”
He frowned. “You live with the very creatures obligated to kill you on sight. One of them tried, and who knows how many more want that same fate for you? You’ve probably spent your entire life wanting to be like them, knowing that you can never be. And the only thing you have to remind you of your real family is a ring that belongs to the only part of you that you refuse to claim. Nothing else, right? No memories. Not even what it felt like for your father to hold you, or a memory of what his voice sounded like.”
I sat back, a dry lump in my throat. The low hum of traffic on the street below muffled the gasp that escaped my tightly pressed lips.
Roth nodded without looking at me. “I’ve tried to imagine what it’s like for you, wanting to belong so desperately and yet knowing you never can.”
“Wow,” I whispered, looking away. “Thanks for the reality check. Are you the demon of downers?”
He looked at me then. “Why were you out in the woods last night?”
The change in subject caught me off guard. “The Alphas were at the house. It’s not good for me to be around when they visit.”
“Ah, the Seraphim—warriors of justice and blah, blah, bullshit.” Roth shook his head, smiling ruefully. “What a nasty lot of bastards, if you ask me.”
“I’m sure they’d say the same thing about you.”
“Of course they would.” He dropped my hand and took a sip of his coffee. A moment passed as he watched a leafy plant sway in the breeze. It looked like a Venus flytrap. “The Seeker, the zombie and the possessed...that sounds like the start of a really bad joke, doesn’t it?”
It did.
“But they all had something in common. You.”
“I figured as much, but I don’t understand why. What does it have to do with the ring or my mother?”
“Hell is looking for you,” he said, rather casually.
“You said that before and I...”
“Didn’t believe me?” When I nodded, he closed his eyes. “I wasn’t lying. Hell only looks for someone when that person has something that interests them. We do like to covet things. I’ve told you that.”
“But I don’t have anything they could want.”
“You do.”
I shifted on the lounge, pushing
down the sudden urge to get up and run. “And you? It’s the same reason why you started looking for me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” I placed the half-drunk cup of coffee on the roof and held the ring close to my chest.
He gave me another quick grin. “I’ve told you. I’ve been watching you for months, years really.”
Years? My brain couldn’t wrap itself around that idea.
He returned to staring at the plant. “I found you long ago, way before your most recent birthday, before any of the demons became aware of you. I guess the real question is, what makes you so special that Hell is looking for you? You’re half-demon. So what?”
For some reason, I started to feel lamer than I normally did. “Okay.”
“But—” he held up his hand “—half demons don’t really have any demonic power. They’re just bat-shit crazy. You know, the kids that pull wings off of butterflies and burn down their houses for fun? Usually while they’re still inside the burning house. Not the smartest bunch, but hey, it happens. Not everyone is created equal.”
I pursed my lips. “I don’t think I’m special.”
Roth looked at me again. “But you are. You’re a half demon that is also half Warden. Do you even know what they really are?”
“Well, people call them gargoyles, but—”
“Not what they’re labeled, but how they were created?”
I ran my fingers over the curve of the band. “They were created to fight the Lilin.”
He busted into laughter—deep, amused chuckles.
Embarrassment flooded me. “Then why were they created, smart-ass?”
“Don’t ever let them make you feel like they’re better than you.” Roth shook his head, still smiling. “They aren’t. They aren’t better than any of us.” He laughed again, sounding less amused. “They’re His big-ass mistake, and He gave them a pure soul to make up for it.”
“None of that makes any sense.”
“And it’s not my place to explain it to you. There are so many rules. You know that. Ask your dear adopted dickhead of a father. I doubt he’d tell you the truth, or has ever told you the truth, for that matter.”
“Not like you’re doing a good job of telling me the truth, either.”
“It’s not in my nature to do so.” Setting his cup down, he leaned back on his elbows and peered up at me through dark lashes. “Believe it or not, there are rules that even the Boss follows. Not all of Hell’s children follow them, but there are things I cannot and will not do.”
“Wait. The Boss—do you mean...?”
“The Boss?” he repeated. “Yes. The big one downstairs.”
“Do...do you work for him?”
He flashed another demure smile. “Why, yes, I do.”
Good God, what was I doing wanting him to kiss me earlier?
Roth sighed as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “Say you had something I wanted? I can’t just take it from you.”
I shook my head, confused. “Why not? A succubus takes energy without the person knowing.”
“That’s different. The succubus isn’t killing the human. Just tasting their essence, and for the most part, the human doesn’t mind.” He winked. “But I’m old-school. Just like the Boss. Humans have to have their free will and all that nonsense.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in free will?”
“I don’t, but that doesn’t mean the Boss doesn’t.” He shook his head. “Look, we’ve gotten way off topic here. You know that I work for the Boss and that I’m here on a job, so to speak.”
Even though I knew there had to be a reason why Roth popped out of nowhere and started following me, sour disappointment still curdled in my stomach. What was I thinking? That he saw me chowing down on a Big Mac and just had to know me? “I’m your job?”
His dark gaze flickered to mine and held. “Yes.”
Slowly nodding, I let out a low breath. “Why?”
“I’m here to keep you safe from those who are looking for you. And by those, I mean demons a lot bigger and badder than what you normally deal with.”
I stared at him so long that I think my eyes crossed, and then I burst into laughter. So hard, tears tracked down my face, blurring his scowl.
“Why are you laughing?” he demanded. “It better not be because you doubt my ability to keep your ass—a very lovely ass, by the way—safe. Because I think I’ve proved that I can.”
“It’s not that. It’s just that you’re a demon.”
His expression turned bland. “Yes. I know I’m a demon. Thanks for the clarification.”
“Demons don’t protect anyone or anything.” I waved my hand dismissively, still chuckling.
“Well, obviously they do, because I’ve saved you multiple times.”
Wiping a few tears off my face, I quieted down. “I know. And I appreciate it. Thank you. But it’s just so...so ass-backward.”
Impatience flashed in his eyes, darkening them until the brown flecks almost disappeared. “Demons will protect just about anything if it’s in their best interest. Or namely, Hell’s best interest.”
“And why would protecting me be in Hell’s best interest?”
Roth’s eyes narrowed. “I was going to try to break this to you gently, but screw it. I told you what your mother could do. I even told you her name.”
My humor dried up right then and there as I stared at him.
A bit of smugness seeped into his face. “And I bet you went through every stage of denial and then some, but Lilith is your mother.”
“You mean a demon named Lilith.” I still refused to believe anything else. It was just some random demon with an unfortunate name.
“No. I mean the demon named Lilith,” he corrected. “She’s your mommy.”
“That’s not possible.” I shook my head. “She’s chained in Hell!”
Now it was Roth’s turn to laugh like a demented seal. “And who started those rumors? The Wardens? Lilith was in Hell, but she broke loose seventeen years and nine months ago, give or take a week or two, which by the way, corresponds directly with what?”
I did the quick math, which put that date right around my birthday. My stomach roiled.
“She went topside, engaged in a little naughty action, got pregnant and popped out a pretty little baby that looked just like her.”
“I look like her?” My head got stuck on the wrong thing.
Roth reached over, picking up a strand of my hair, twisting the pale locks around his long fingers. “She had your coloring from what I remember. I only saw her once before she was taken care of.”
“Taken care of?” I whispered, already knowing the answer.
“When she escaped, the Boss had a pretty good idea of what she was up to. Where he has her now, she’s not getting out of.”
A dull ache pierced my temples. I rubbed at them, never more confused in my life. Should I feel better that Lilith wasn’t dead, being that she was my mother? But being trapped in Hell by Satan himself had to suck and my mom...she was Lilith. I wasn’t sure how to feel, and I knew it was about to get a whole lot worse.
“Have you ever heard of The Lesser Key of Solomon?” he asked.
Lifting my gaze, I shook my head. “No.”
“It’s the real deal—a book cataloging all the demons. It has their incantations, how to summon them, how to tell them apart, ways to trap a demon and all kinds of fun stuff. Lilith can’t be summoned.” He paused, watching me closely. “Neither can her original children.”
My head felt like it was about to explode. “The Lilin?”
When he nodded, my stomach plummeted like my popularity status. “But everything has a loophole, and there’s a really big one concerning the Lilin,” he continued. “In the original Lesser Key, it describes how one can create the Lilin. It’s like a seal that needs to be broken—an incantation.”
“Oh, my God...”