by Tiana Laveen
“You need to take a load off… been burnin’ the candles at both ends. Ain’t nothin’ left but a wick.”
“You’re right. Can I spend tha night?” he asked before kissing her again.
“Sure you can. You need the blender?” she teased.
“I need a lotta things, baby, and you’re one of ’em.” They walked to their vehicles parked in the lot, side by side. “I’ll follow you home.”
“All right.” She opened the door and screamed. There, on the front seat, sat a large bouquet of red roses, chocolates, and a card.
“Oh, my God! These are from you, ain’t they?!”
He got choked up looking at her get choked up. His cheeks warmed from her reaction.
“Yeah… I got a hold of the key to your car when you was out back and snuck ’em in there. I thought we’d be goin’ our separate ways at the time and I’d just see you tomorrow.”
“You keep doing this stuff! I ain’t never had nobody be so… romantic to me, so sweet. You’re just so thoughtful, so sentimental.” The woman was standing there crying tears of joy as she sniffed the roses. He came up to her and drew her in an embrace. Kissing the top of her head, he rocked against her, needing her more than she’d ever fully understand.
“I do it ’cause you make me feel comfortable doin’ it… and you deserve it. Besides my mama, ain’t nobody been as supportive to me as you. You cheer me on, you kiss me and make love to me with your whole heart and soul… you make me laugh.” He smiled and pressed his lips to hers. “You make my damn heart sing. With you, baby, I feel like… I feel like no matter how bad things may get, the best is yet to come. When I told you about my mama bein’ sick you let me cry on your shoulder. When I told you about the business I wanted to start, you ain’t laugh or say it was impossible. You gave me some advice and told me you’d be there every step of the way. With you, Yaz, I swear, you’re like a good luck charm. Since we met, my whole life has turned around… my entire existence has improved. I got a new lease on life. You got somethin’ special. And because of that, I now got it, too. With you by my side, anything is possible…”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
On the First Thing Smokin’…
HER HANDS TREMBLED…
Yasmine read the court documents once again—it must’ve been the hundredth time. It made not one bit of difference. Nothing had changed from the last time she’d taken a look, or the time before that. She’d had them for two days, sent to her via certified mail, and it was difficult to keep herself together knowing what loomed ahead. With Mama and Daddy on speaker phone, a call with an attorney the day prior, and a good old-fashioned cussing out from Uncle Sonny about all the shit he was going to do to Sebastian, her life was spinning out of control.
“Baby, we ain’t gonna just let him waltz up in court and do this here. You aren’t an unfit parent and Noah has already made his choice.”
“I know, Mama, but like he said, he’s gonna use where I live, my lightweight bank account, and thangs like that to try and make his case. I think that I should use the—” Suddenly she heard some commotion at the door. “Shoot! Shhh… I think Noah is home. He is a few minutes early today. Let me go on from this couch to my bedroom ’fore he sees I’m upset. I don’t want to tell him just yet.” She jumped up as she heard the keys jangling and raced off to the bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind her. “All right, I’m back.” She sighed. “So, basically, that’s what he’s gonna try to do and I’m gonna use the legal advice given, but that means we gotta go to court.”
She sat on the edge of her bed.
“Maaama! I’m home.” She thumped her foot a couple of times to let the boy know she’d heard him. She then heard him disappear into the kitchen, as he always did to go and raid the refrigerator. This time she didn’t feel annoyed by that at all. Rather, she relished it, wondering if she’d ever miss it because he was gone…
Her eyes teared up once again but she swiped the budding waterworks away with the back of her hand.
“Ain’t nobody gettin’ my grandson,” Daddy said gruffly. “I’m gone have to have a word wit’ Sebastian. I’m sick uh this shit.”
“Daddy, he ain’t gone listen. I tried to talk to him several times now. Hell, his own girlfriend told him not to do it, he admitted that to me, but he thinks it’s just ’cause she don’t want no teenager in the house. Regardless, he don’t care ’bout nothing but himself. He’s on a mission and it is plain as day that he won’t be deterred. All common sense and reason are out the window at this point, flown the coop.”
“Is it possible he can have Noah over the summers and some holidays? Maybe that would appease him?” Mama suggested.
“I brought that up the other day, Mama. I was tryna go about this a different way. Seemed judicious ’nd all but he shot that down. He act like it’s for Noah’s own good and as sick as this sounds, I honestly believe he’s convinced himself of that. But it ain’t and we all know it, ’cept for him. Money can buy my son, and he is bankin’ on it. Thankfully, Noah ain’t sellin’, but the judge might be.”
A knock sounded at her door. “Mama,” her son said.
“Hold on, Noah’s at the door.” She put the phone down and patted her eyes once again, threw on a smile, and opened it. “Hi, baby! Did you see that leftover turkey in the refrigerator? You can make a sandwich outta that. That’s for you.”
“Yes, I saw it. I ate some.” He nodded. “Can I go over Steve’s tonight?”
“Noah, it’s a school night, baby. You know I don’t like you really doin’ that on school nights.”
“Please, Mama!” the boy got to whining, making puppy dog faces and laying on the guilt trip nice and thick. “We’ve got an assignment tomorrow and it would just make it easier.”
She put her hand on her hip. “Fine. But don’t make this a habit.”
“Thanks, Mama. Can I have a little money for food?”
“But you got food right here at home!”
“Give that baby some money for some food, Yasmine!” Mama interjected.
All Yasmine could do was burst out laughing.
“This real interestin’, Mama!” she said as she snatched her purse up off the bed and opened it. “When I was Noah’s age, you ain’t treat me, Chasity, and Ivy half as nice as you do Noah but as soon as your grandbaby ask for somethin’, you and Daddy move Heaven and Hell to try ’nd make sure he gets it.” She chuckled.
“That’s right! My grandson gets whatever he wants,” Mama teased, making things a bit less heavy in that moment.
“Okay baby, here you go, all right?” She handed him a twenty dollar bill. “That should be plenty for you and Steve to get some sandwiches, drinks, fries, dessert… whatever it is you want.”
“Thanks, Mama.” He kissed her cheek and disappeared from sight.
She listened intently as he went into his room. She heard the sounds of his dresser drawer opening and closing, a zipper from a bag, the steps he took to leave his bedroom, the closing of the door, and the locking of the front one. Her heart pounded, then sank…
It felt like the last time.
God, please don’t let that man take my baby away! I know you said to have faith, and I do, but this is just too much on me right now! She blinked back tears and returned to her phone call.
“Mama, I’m back. He’s gone now…”
…The next morning
LANGSTON TOOK HIS mother’s hand and patted it.
“That’s good news… chemo it is then. They said they only doin’ it for three months though, right?”
“That’s right. I might not lose too much hair; they don’t know yet. I’ll look funny without eyebrows though, won’t I? You won’t know what facial expression I’m makin’. They’ll all look the same.”
They both burst out laughing at that. Mama was one of the few people he knew that could be knee deep in trouble and still find something to smile about. She clutched the arms of the living room chair. It was 7:45 A.M. and Langston was dressed in his b
rown uniform jacket and pants, ready to start his day. His boots were tied up tight and he wore extra thick socks. The coolness in the air was cutting; some northern front had swept through and made Texas more frigid than a witch’s titty.
“I’mma go on to work but wanted to drop off this breakfast sandwich and some coffee for you… Sorry I woke you.” He kissed the top of her head.
Mama smiled up at him as he got up from his kneeling position and grabbed his thick, black leather jacket.
“You’re so sweet. I needed to get on up anyway.” She yawned then took a small bite of the egg and sausage biscuit. “It’s been so quiet since José moved out,” she said sadly.
“I know you don’t miss the fool.” He grimaced. “You done spent half your life tryna get him outta here!”
“You’re so silly… half my life. But you know, as far as missin’ him, I do and I don’t. It felt good havin’ someone always in here, even when he got on my nerves. A safety blanket, I guess you could say.” She took another bite and chuckled around the mouthful of food. “I don’t want him livin’ here though. I need him to be on his own and now that he has two part time jobs, he can make ends meet. I’m proud of ’im.”
“Me, too.” He snatched his keys from his pocket. “Dad said he was gonna try to get his hours cut, then he’d be home more. He needs to be and I told him that. He gettin’ too old to be racin’ ’round the country like this.” She nodded in agreement. “Call me if you need me, all right?”
“I will! Take care, baby.”
Before he could turn and leave, his phone rang.
“Who’s that? A bill collector? Don’t answer. They harass at all hours of the morning, noon, and night now.”
“No, it ain’t a bill collector. That’s strange. It’s Yaz. She don’t call me this early usually. Maybe she need me to swing by before my shift or something.” He answered the phone, but before she could even utter a word, that horrible, foreboding feeling he got when things were going awry took him under, feeling like a stone in his gut. “Hello? Yaz, what’s up, honey?” He put her on speakerphone and glanced back at his mother.
“Oh God… Lang… I just got a call from the school. Noah ain’t in class. He ain’t there. Marked as absent. He don’t ever miss school!”
“Well, calm down, baby. Maybe he’s just runnin’ late is all. You said he stayed with Steve last night and—”
“No! The custody papers are gone, Langston!”
“The ones you told me about the other day?”
“Yes! I had accidentally left ’em on the table in the livin’ room last night. When I heard him comin’ in the house I ran to my room. He musta seen ’em ’cause I called Steve right after the school called. I left a voicemail on his cellphone since they can’t have their phones on in school and he called me back once the teacher let him know I needed to have a word with him. He said he ain’t seen Noah since yesterday at school! They ain’t have no plans together; he wasn’t over there last night! Noah ain’t answerin’ his phone. It go straight to voicemail. Something is wrong! Oh my God! Where is my boy?! He done run away from home!”
“I’ll be right over! Don’t you worry! We’ll find him, Yaz. He couldn’t have gotten that far. He’s probably just mad is all and went to blow off some steam!” Langston disconnected the call and looked at his mama, who was looking at him with those weary light blue eyes.
“You don’t have to tell me. I heard,” she said before taking another sip of her coffee. “You keep calm, fake it till you make it. She’s losing her damn mind, so don’t you go fuelin’ the fire. You find her boy, you hear me?” Her eyes narrowed on him.
“I will. I can’t believe this shit!”
“Ain’t nothin’ like not knowin’ where your baby is, no matter how grown he gets!”
A memory flashed in his mind…
When his grandmother died, a woman he was extremely close to, he got in his truck and drove to Alabama. He didn’t tell anyone, didn’t answer any calls; he just raced away, wanting time alone, time to grieve, time to think. Grandma had loved Alabama, and that was where he wanted to be… a place she’d held dear to her heart. When he returned to Texas, Mama had damn near lost her mind… She’d told him that, had she been a cat, she’d have used up about seven lives, wonderin’ where the hell her middle child had run off to. He’d regretted the hurt he’d put her through by cutting himself off from the world for days on end.
“Mama, I’mma find Noah, all right? This is all because of that son of uh bitch father of his!” he screamed, anger worming inside of him at lightning speed. “I shoulda beat his ass when I said I was goin’ to. That woulda set his ass straight!”
“Now, now, you stop all of that, Langston. That won’t do no good right now! You just find that child. In the meantime, I’ll tell folks to keep a lookout for him. What we got in our favor is he sticks out like a sore thumb ’round here.” Mama grabbed her phone off the table and began to push the buttons.
“Thank you, Mama. I’ll be in touch. Soon as we find out where the hell he is, I’ll let you know.” And then he raced out the door…
NOAH SAT IN the lobby of his father’s workplace.
How massive it was. Shiny chrome, metals and gold. White marble, large glass double doors, and people dressed in expensive suits and dresses. He glanced down at his phone to check the time, but ignored that his mailbox was full. He’d removed the tracking and “find phone” feature from his device. It was far too risky. He imagined Mama now knew he was missing, but what the hell was he supposed to do? He’d come in from school and saw why the woman had been acting so funny lately. Dad was doing it again… making life hard.
The man was a die-hard control freak. For the longest, it seemed he didn’t even accept that he was deaf. Dad had hired all of these specialists, snake oil medicine people that claimed to be able to reverse such a thing and make him hear again. Nothing had worked, so he’d had to accept that it was God’s will, that this was something he couldn’t change. Dad thought he could change and control everyone—he could make Mama love him again, he could make him want to move in and stay… he could force everything to go his way, regardless of the feelings of the people involved.
Toys… objects… We aren’t even people to him…
Dad came from money… lots and lots of money. Hispanic, with great-grandparents from Cuba, he was a descendant of people who’d worked hard to get where they were, but somewhere, along the way, the latest generations had developed a superior attitude. They believed that money could solve all woes, including buying love and eradicating hate. There was no such thing… no such cure… no such remedy. This had been the story of Noah’s life with his father, and the twisted saga continued. His thoughts drifted back to the previous day when he’d found out what the hell was going on right under his nose. This had to stop… and he was just the man for the job.
He’d realized the moment he’d stood in Mama’s living room, with a sandwich in one hand and the court papers in the other, that he had two choices. He could confront Mama and be subjected to her song and dance about how she was handling it and how everything was gonna be peachy keen, fine and dandy, and super soaker fantastic, or he could play it cool and take care of it on his own.
I’m almost a grown ass man now, but he’s tryna get custody of me still, like I’m some baby. Messin’ up our lives. I wish he’d leave us the hell alone!
Just then, he felt the vibration of pounding feet. He recognized the gait… His father marched toward him with furrowed brows and anger dancing in his eyes.
“Noah! What are you doing here?! Your mother is worried sick!”
“You didn’t care about Mama being worried sick when you threatened to take me away!” he signed.
His father yanked him by his arm, leading him away to the elevators. Once inside, the man went quiet, looking straight ahead as they travelled to the eighth floor. The scent of coffee and expensive cologne permeated the small enclosure and several ass kissers said hello to the man. Dad
smiled graciously, putting on another star performance. Once they reached their floor, Noah grimaced when the guy held his arm so tight, it felt as if his finger was latching onto his bone. They passed his secretary, leaving the woman blabbering something as Dad shoved him in his office, then slammed and locked the door behind them. He drew the blinds and his fingers went to flying at lightning speed.
“Noah, how dare you! How the hell did you even get here?!”
“I’ve got money saved up. I got a Greyhound,” Noah signed back.
“Your mother gave you only twenty dollars… she didn’t think you would use the money for this.”
“I used it for exactly what I told her, to get food. Who cares about that?! I’m here now.”
“Why would you do that to her? Why would you do this, period?!”
Noah grabbed the papers from his pocket and flung them towards his father. The documents fluttered in the air and landed on the ground. Dad looked at them, back at him, then at the documents again. He slowly bent down and picked them up. After scanning them for a spell, he sighed.
“And I take it you’re upset about this… Noah, this is for your own good.”
“NO! IT’S NOT!” he yelled.
“You told me awhile back you didn’t even like Elsa!”
“I don’t! But I like my mama! She’s in Elsa, so now I am, too! Leave us alone!” Angry tears welled in his eyes. Was that shock in Dad’s eyes?
“Leave you alone? You’re my son! Noah, you’re the only child I have. I have to protect you at all costs. Your mother means well but she—”
“Mama loves me.”
“Yes, and so do I, but love doesn’t pay the bills, Noah. You’re too young to understand.”
“I’m not too young, Dad. Do you have any idea how you’re hurting me? Do you even care?!”