Beefcake

by Jenna Jacob

  After landing, they retrieved their luggage and boarded a shuttle to the hotel. There was a palpable energy filling the air in Las Vegas. As Ivy stared out the window, taking in all the decadence and growing anxious to explore the hotels and shops, Celina tapped on her cell phone, grinning excitedly.

  “Harvey’s already here and checked in to our suite. Oh, my god. I can’t wait to see him again.”

  “You’ve only been apart five days,” Janice reminded with a tight smile.

  “It’s five days too long, Mother.” Celina rolled her eyes.

  Ivy groaned inwardly. Bridezilla had come out of hiding again. Joy!

  “I’m going to invite him to come to dinner with us tonight, Daddy.”

  “You sure he doesn’t have any other plans?”

  “Of course not. His best man isn’t arriving until tomorrow. Unless you don’t want to be around—”

  “I didn’t say that pumpkin,” Jeff interrupted. “Ask him if he can join us. I’ll call the restaurant and add him to the reservation.”

  As Celina dropped her head and began texting, Ivy caught the silent, less-than-thrilled look her parents exchanged. Evidently all the votes were in, against the pompous groom-to-be. Holidays from now on were sure to be oh such fun. Ivy nearly rolled her eyes at the thought.

  When their hotel came into view, Celina squealed. “Oh, my god! I can’t believe I’m actually getting married here. Ever since I saw that movie…oh, what’s it called…”

  “The Hangover?” Ivy prompted.

  “Yes! Oh, my god. Look at that fountain,” Celina screamed, pointing out the window as the shuttle came to a stop. “This place is gorgeous.”

  Ivy couldn’t disagree. The Roman architecture and marble statues were breathtaking, but after they’d gathered their luggage and stepped inside, she was swept away by more jaw-dropping opulence. While her dad handled checking them in, Ivy studied the map the front desk clerk had handed them.

  “They’ve got a whole city in this place. Look.” She held the map out to Celina. “They have stores and restaurants down this way. Oh, I feel a shopping spree coming on.”

  “Knock yourself out.” Celina giggled. “I’m going to spend some pre-wedding quality time with my man.”

  Ivy’s stomach tilted. “Well then…you knock yourself out little sister.”

  “Oh, I plan on knocking a whole lot out. This wedding has been so damn stressful I’m about to lose my damn mind.”

  Trust me. We all are.

  Instead of voicing her feelings, Ivy simply smiled.

  “Here’s the card key to your room,” her dad said, pressing the plastic rectangle into her palm. “Do you want me to help you get settled in?”

  “No, Dad. I’m good. You and Mom go on up to your room. I’ll be fine.”

  “All right. We’ll meet down here at seven and grab a cab to take us to dinner.”

  “Don’t be late,” her mom stressed, giving both Ivy and Celina a stern look. “And text Dad if Harvey will be joining us.”

  “Will do.” Celina grinned as she headed toward the elevator, dragging her suitcase behind her.

  “What are we doing here?” Janice asked, worry lining her face.

  “Having a wedding, unfortunately,” Ivy sympathized.

  “Knock it off, you two,” Jeff admonished. “The last thing Celina is going to need in the future is you two touting her with I told you so. I’m not thrilled, either, but we’re here to support her, like we did—”

  “With me. Yeah, I know, Dad,” Ivy said grimly. “I’ll see you both in a little bit.”

  As she headed in the same direction her sister had moments earlier, Ivy mentally scraped the sickly residue of memories Eugene McMillian constantly conjured. After taking the elevator to the twenty-second floor, Ivy exited and strode down a long, lush hallway until she found her room.

  She slid the card into the reader but the light remained red. It took her two more tries until a green light suddenly began to blink and the lock snicked. She shoved the door open and smiled. The room was posh and huge, especially the bed. She released her suitcase and kicked off her shoes. Then, acting like a kid, she ran and jumped on the mattress. Giggling, Ivy flopped onto the soft padding and let the comfort envelop her before she grabbed the map from her purse and began plotting her shopping excursion for tomorrow.

  At seven o’clock, she was freshly showered and properly prepared for dinner with her family. As she carefully made her way across the lobby on a pair of hot red stilettos that matched her dress and lipstick, she caught sight of her folks. But she didn’t see Celina anywhere. Ivy was glad she wouldn’t be the one getting the familiar, proper southern girls are always prompt lecture from their mom.

  “At least I’m not the one late this time,” Ivy chuckled as she sidled up between her parents.

  “Your sister isn’t coming to dinner with us,” Janice announced, clearly perturbed.

  “Why not?”

  “Harvey has a tummy ache. Celina is staying in to take care of him. Honestly, he’s a grown man capable of calling room service and ordering some chicken soup, for crying out loud. This was our last night together as just the family.” Her voice cracked and she quickly clenched her jaw.

  “Oh, Mom, I’m sorry.” Ivy sighed.

  “Easy now, Momma,” Jeff cooed softly as he wrapped the woman in his arms. “We’ll go out anyway and have a lovely dinner. It will be all right.”

  Janice nodded and quickly pulled herself together.

  The three of them made the best of a bad situation, and in the end, they really did have a lovely dinner. The upscale steak house had a killer view of the massive fountain in front of the restaurant. Ivy almost forgot to eat, she was so entranced by the beautiful dancing water and colorful flashing lights.

  When they returned to their hotel, she said good night to her parents, then walked toward the shopping area to scope it out. Though Ivy was stuffed from dinner, she couldn’t keep from stopping and buying a slice of peanut butter cheesecake and taking it back to her room.

  Relaxing on the bed she flipped on the television and found the Food Channel. As she watched teams vying to be the cupcake champions, Ivy nibbled the decadent cheesecake.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The two-hour ride to Dallas beside his brooding brother had been mostly silent. Noble waved goodbye, slung his duffle bag over his shoulder, and then strolled into the airport terminal. After placing his bag on the security belt, he watched it disappear inside the X-ray machine before stepping up to have his body scanned. An hour later, he was buckled in his seat on the airplane, next to a sweet old lady named Kitty.

  “You going to Vegas for work or pleasure?” she asked.

  “Pleasure. An old pal from high school is getting married.”

  “I’m going for pleasure, too. I’m being inducted into the AVA Hall of Fame,” she announced with a big, proud smile.

  Noble had no idea what that was, so he simply returned a polite smile and nodded while he studied her more closely. The woman was dressed in stylish clothes, though she wore more makeup than most her age The diamonds twinkling off her fingers, wrist, and neck spoke of wealth. She might be a famous philanthropist. Still, the words AVA Hall of Fame rolled through his brain as he worked out the acronym. Maybe it stood for the Athletic Veterans Association. He could be sitting next to a gold medal winner from one of the early modern Olympic games.

  “You don’t know what the AVA is, do you, sugar?” she asked with a pronounced southern drawl.

  “No, ma’am, I can’t say as I do.”

  “It’s the Adult Video Awards.”

  Noble’s smile slid from his lips. Adult movies? Was she talking…porn?

  “I can’t believe a big, strappin’ hunk like you hasn’t heard of the AVA,” she mused, sadly. “But nowadays, it’s all too easy to find such things on the Internet. Surely, you watch them while you’re”—she dropped a glance at his crotch—“you know…spanking your meat-monkey?”

  Nob
le nearly choked on his tongue. He’d rather die, buckled to his seat in a fiery airplane crash, than discuss his masturbation preference with the old girl.

  “It’s a pity that all the video stores went belly-up. No one sees my movies anymore and it’s a darn shame. I mean, I spent my whole life taking it every which way but inside out.” Kitty leaned in closer and whispered, “Double penetration was always one of my favorites.”

  The visuals flashing through Noble’s brain weren’t only wrong but nauseating.

  “Oh, those were the best of times. I still do some oldster porn now and then.” Kitty scrunched her face and shoulders like an excited child. “I just love giving my all. Though most of my co-stars have to pop Viagra like they’re M&Ms, it’s still fun.”

  Hands down this flight was going to be the most awkward and psychologically damaging three hours of his life.

  “My screen name is Syndee Suckem,” Kitty stated proudly. “Maybe you’ve heard of me?”

  She flashed him a hopeful smile full of perfectly aligned dentures.

  As he shook his head, the twisted half of his brain was dying to ask if she kept them in or took them out while working. But then he could feel his junk shrinking up inside him, as the other half of his mind cried, Dude! What the fuck is wrong with you?

  “That’s a shame,” Kitty tsked. “You should rent one of my movies, handsome. I guarantee you’ll like what you see. I might be old, but I’m still flexible.”

  He sent her a painfully polite smile as he shoved visions of wet gums, wrinkled, saggy boobs, and scraggly gray pussy hair out of his head.

  “While I’m in town, I’m also going to visit my daughter, Karen,” Kitty announced, changing the subject—thank you, god! “She’s a blackjack dealer and mother of four who’s divorcing her third scumbag alcoholic husband.”

  “That’s a shame.”

  “It is.” Kitty nodded. “I wish she was more like her brother. My sweet boy, Kyle, is a genius, and he’s so damn handsome. He could have been in movies, like me.”

  As the plane taxied down the runway, the old woman prattled on about her golden boy, Kyle, while sprinkling in disparaging comments about her not-so-smart daughter. Noble obliged her with nods and smiles long after the plane lifted into the air while Kitty regaled him with every photo on her cell phone. While none were work related—thank fuck—there were plenty of pictures of the old gal wearing barely a stitch, with her body bent in lewd, sexually suggestive poses.

  No amount of bleach would ever scrub the images from his eyes or his brain.

  But when Kitty started describing—in great detail—the oozing, pustule ass boils her late husband suffered at the nursing home, Noble had to swallow back the bile rising in his throat and quickly excused himself.

  After working his way to the back of the plane, he found all the lavatories full. He couldn’t find the willpower to return to his seat and listen to more of Kitty’s disturbing stories, so Noble decided to loiter outside the bathroom door. While a middle-aged flight attendant busily checked supplies on the drink cart, he turned on his charm. Three and a half minutes later, she pressed her number, scribbled on a piece of paper, into his palm.

  After using the facilities, he squandered several more minutes sweet-taking the fight attendant, before reluctantly returning to his seat. To his delight, Noble found Kitty fast asleep. Thankfully, the old porn star snored the rest of the way to Vegas.

  When they landed and the cabin doors opened, Noble grabbed his duffle bag, bid farewell to Kitty, and sprinted off the plane. He stepped outside, and the carbon monoxide fumes pouring from the string of taxis sucked the air from his lungs.

  Noble gaped up at the palm trees before snagging a cab to take him to his hotel.

  Peering out the window, he felt as if he’d landed on a distant planet. Huge, elaborate hotels soared into the bright blue sky, while on the ground, bumper-to-bumper traffic crawled at a snail’s pace as hordes of people strolled up and down the busy sidewalks of the strip.

  You’re definitely not in Texas anymore.

  His eyes grew even wider when the cab pulled into a circular drive and came to a stop beside an ornate marble fountain. Grecian urns and statues were situated throughout the meticulously manicured landscaping. Noble paid the cabbie, grabbed his bag, and climbed out of the car.

  As the taxi drove away, Noble stood slack-jawed as he took in the white marble columns and intricately carved sculptures tucked in arched alcoves lining the front of the hotel. He stood mesmerized by the beauty before him, ignoring the people coming and going around him until someone bumped his shoulder, jostling him from his trance.

  He entered the lobby and simply stared. Beneath his feet, huge circular patterns of inlaid marble swept the floor. Noble paused to take in the large fountain of three sleekly carved Roman goddesses—with perky nipples exposed—standing shoulder to shoulder in a semicircle, surrounded in a dome of gold and marble. Dragging his eyes from the beauties, he drank in massive Roman paintings and even more sculpted statues that lined the curved walls. The ceiling above him was dotted with enormous chandeliers that cast a golden glow over several recessed cupolas.

  Noble knew exactly how Alice had felt when she’d tumbled down the rabbit hole. He yanked out his cell phone and started snapping photos. Even if he found the words to describe the grandeur of this hotel, his family would never believe him. Best to have proof.

  “Grayson!”

  Jerking toward the sound of his name, he peered across the lobby and spotted a bald man waddling his way. Noble blinked in disbelief when he realized his old friend Harvey was beneath all those layers of…weight.

  Christ, what the hell happened to him?

  “Harv.” Noble banked his shock and wrapped the large man in a brotherly hug. His hands sank into gelatinous flesh as he clapped Harvey on the back. “You look…you look great, man.”

  “Right. Liar,” Harvey growled. “I’m a hundred pounds overweight.” More like two hundred, but Noble kept that observation to himself. “My hair keeps sliding off my head into my ears and down my back. I can’t see my dick anymore. I’ve turned into my fucking old man.”

  He had. But again, Noble wasn’t going to confirm that claim. He simply chuckled.

  “But you, you lucky prick. You haven’t changed one damn bit. What the fuck? You should be falling apart like me. Prick.”

  “Dude! We’ve only been out of school seven years.”

  “Yeah, well stress is an evil bitch that does ugly things to a man. I’m not complaining, owning my own business is great, but it takes a toll. I’ll gladly carry a few extra pounds around my waist and shed like a fucking husky in July to live out my dreams. None of those dickless pricks back home had the courage to grow a pair and try to accomplish all I have.”

  Harvey’s insult stung, but Noble let it slide. There wasn’t any use getting riled up about an opinion.

  “Looks like you’re living a stress-free life. I guess you’re still living at home…still being your old man’s bitch and sweating your nuts off with his camp thing, right?”

  This time, Noble bristled. But instead of following through with the knee-jerk reaction to slam his fist in the prick’s jaw, Noble simply clenched his fist, and shook his head. “I’m not his bitch. I work hard to earn my paycheck, man.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Sorry, didn’t mean it as an insult. But, Christ, bro…living at home with Mommy and Daddy must be hell on your sex life. You must not get laid but once or twice a year.”

  Harvey’s caustic laughter was as offensive as his taunting.

  “Try three or four times a week,” Noble bit out, barely containing his anger. “A real man who possesses the right skills doesn’t need a bed to get the job done.”

  Harvey threw back his head and laughed. “You would know. You’ve been perfecting those skills since we were freshmen.”

  “Yes, I have.”

  “Good to know you’re still chasing pussy. It got boring as hell to me,” Harvey sta
ted, curling his lip in revulsion. “It’ll be a welcome relief to pound my meat into one girl from now on. Maybe one day you’ll find a snatch so sweet you’ll want to slap on the ball and chain, too. Hell, it might even be one of the fine ladies I lined up for us. At least you won’t worry about waking up the folks tonight while you’re banging bitches.”

  Damn! When had his old friend’s opinion of women turned so…degrading?

  Harvey Hays was an obnoxious little bitch. Sawyer’s words rolled through his head.

  Had Harvey always been so condescending and rude? Noble wasn’t sure. Maybe he’d worn rose-colored glasses back in high school. If he had, they were definitely off now. Unfortunately, it was too late for him to tell the man to go fuck himself and head back home. Noble would simply have to suck it up and make the best of a bad situation. Besides, it was only for a few days.

  “Look, I have to run upstairs and check on the little woman-to-be…maybe knock a little off, yanno?” Harvey grabbed his cock and grinned. “Meet me down here around five and we’ll grab some dinner before climbing aboard the party bus. I can’t wait to raise hell like we used to. Man, wait till you see the whores I bought for us tonight.”

  Whores? He bought…?

  “You lined up hookers? I thought you said they were strippers.”

  “Strippers…hookers, what’s the difference? As long as they spread their legs for us, that’s all that matters…am I right?” Harvey’s grin was down right lecherous.

  The thought of paying a woman to have sex with him immediately turned Noble off. He’d never had a girlfriend, per say, but he at least knew the women he slept with. The excitement he’d felt about this trip was totally scrubbed from his system; dread had now taken its place. “I thought one-night stands bored you.”

  “They do. But before I’m locked in the marriage cage for the rest of my life, I want some kinky memories to think about while plowing my wife.”

  Jesus Christ! Why marry the poor girl at all?

  Too bad Harvey and Trudy were marrying different people. Those two would be perfect for one another, since neither had an ounce of respect for their future spouses. Maybe they were simply getting married out of convenience. Talk about a death sentence.