Second Opinion

by Alexander, Hannah

  Chapter 24

  On Friday afternoon Lauren walked down the central aisle of the circular auditorium of Dogwood Springs Baptist Church carrying a beautiful arrangement of peace roses and ferns in a cut-crystal vase. The roses would still be fresh for services Sunday morning, which was good because she was scheduled to work tomorrow and would have no time to check on them. She planned to rest as much as possible when she wasn’t working.

  The janitor was stirring up dust in the choir loft above the stage, vacuum cleaner wheezing loudly enough to drown out the chatter and laughter and occasional lyrics of a musical quartet beside the piano practicing a new song for Sunday service. Several of them waved at Lauren when they saw her. Five children between the ages of six and ten ran up and down the aisles of the church in a game of tag while their parents practiced.

  Lauren loved the fact that this church family had put her to work right away in several different positions as soon as she joined. She especially enjoyed the trust they placed in her with their children. In her old church back in Knolls they would have watched and waited for at least five years before allowing a new member to serve on any of their committees to make sure they hadn’t accidentally voted an axe murderer into their midst.

  She arranged the blushing ivory roses on the Lord’s Supper table, placed an old worn Bible on a stand beside them, draped a throw of ivory lace behind them, and stood back to see what else it needed. The table could use a good polishing. A pair of wire-framed reading glasses might help produce the effect she hoped for.

  “Do you moonlight as an interior decorator?” came a friendly familiar male voice from behind her, raised loudly enough to carry over all the other sounds.

  She turned with a smile to see Archer coming to a stop beside the central front pew with a dust rag in his hand. “Do you moonlight as a janitor?”

  “Not if I can get out of it. Our part-time custodian is out with knee surgery, so I told James I’d help out.” He nodded toward the janitor in the choir loft, who smiled and waved with his free hand.

  “You know I’m not artistic. I got drafted to take Mabel Long’s place on the flower committee when she moved to live with her sister in Arkansas last month. I brought these flowers from Mom’s garden.”

  “You went to Knolls today?”

  “Yes, Mom was getting worried about me and Dad wanted to check out the truck to make sure I’m keeping the oil changed. You know how they are.”

  “I sure do. So you’re already on a committee? I thought they’d at least wait until the end of the summer to drag you onto their list.”

  “I didn’t have to be dragged, I wanted to do it.”

  He held his hands up. “Don’t let anyone hear you say that. You’ll never have another moment’s peace.”

  “Did you know our church has nineteen different committees? I found a booklet in the library that listed the names, addresses, and telephone numbers of every person on every committee and I couldn’t believe it—I’m on three. I haven’t figured out how I got so popular so fast.”

  “You and your big mouth.”

  “Don’t start with me. You were probably the one who slipped them my name in the first place. Anyway, I’m happy to do it,” she said. “I like to keep active and the extra involvement is helping me get to know more of the people in a short period of time.”

  “It shows they’re tired of all the work they’ve created for themselves.” There was a dry cynicism in his voice Lauren had never heard before. Now that she’d caught that strain of tension she noticed that even his teasing held a somber note today.

  He stepped over to sniff the roses. “These smell good. Your mom has a way with flowers.” He sounded a little depressed.

  Lauren studied him more closely. “You’ve been making yourself scarce lately. You’re not coming down with the crud are you?”

  “Not sick yet.” He looked tired, though, and his face lacked its expression of lighthearted optimism that was his trademark.

  “You sure?”

  “Positive.”

  Good. That made one of them. Even today she continued to battle fluctuating bouts of nausea, weakness, and a nasty taste in her mouth, though she’d made sure her parents didn’t pick up on it when she was home. She’d also kept her distance in case this stuff was contagious.

  Archer lifted the Bible from the stand to thumb through its yellowed pages. He paused from time to time apparently to read different verses he found, then sighed and replaced it on its stand.

  “Working on a sermon?” Lauren asked. What was wrong with him?

  “I’m always working on a sermon.” He sank down onto the cushioned comfort of the first pew. “I think the one I need to preach right now would be aimed mostly at myself.” The janitor chose that moment to switch off the vacuum cleaner and Archer lowered his voice. “I’ve allowed myself to get upset by an unfounded piece of malicious gossip.” He gave Lauren a quick glance then looked away.

  “Malicious gossip is always upsetting.” Lauren wondered briefly what it might be but then dismissed it as none of her business. She didn’t really want to be reminded just how mean some people were. Still, Archer was obviously concerned about it. “Especially if it attacks us personally or someone we care about.”

  He looked at her, caught her gaze, sighed. If she didn’t know better she would have thought that a blush was spreading across his face.

  Two little girls came careening around from the side aisle and nearly toppled Lauren before she could catch them. Their mother stopped the music and called out to them to be careful. The vacuum cleaner started up again.

  “You know about the rumor?” Archer asked under cover of the noise.

  “Me? I haven’t heard anything.”

  Something in his expression disturbed her. He didn’t quite meet her gaze. Lauren stepped over to him and reached for the dust rag. “Mind if I borrow this for a moment? The table needs polishing.”

  He didn’t reply, just stared toward the flower arrangement as if deep in thought and let her take the rag from his hand without comment.

  She hesitated. “Archer? This sounds serious. The rumor isn’t about Gina is it? Because if someone—”

  “It isn’t Gina.” He smiled at that and it broke the tension. He reached up to massage his neck and shoulder muscles. “As I said, I shouldn’t have allowed it to upset me.”

  Lauren watched him for a moment then returned to the table and gave it a good polishing. She climbed the steps to the pulpit.

  Before she could begin polishing around the microphone, Archer came up the steps and took the rag away from her. “I didn’t come in here to give you my job. I think you have enough to do already.”

  She shrugged and went back down to straighten the lace.

  “Lauren,” he said under cover of the noise. “We’ve known each other forever. I feel as if I can talk to you openly. Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

  “Have I ever?”

  “You’re an independent lady with your own career. Would someone like you ever consider the possibility of being a pastor’s wife?”

  All thoughts of glasses and Bibles and flowers scattered from her mind and for a few seconds Lauren froze where she stood. She could not have heard that right.

  “Lauren?”

  “Uh… yeah?” She could barely hear his voice and by now the pounding of her own heart had joined the din. He could not know how that question affected her. And he couldn’t know how much she would love to give the idea more serious consideration. So why was he asking her? And right here in the middle of a busy church auditorium of all places.

  “Would you?”

  She swallowed. “Honestly?” She braced herself and took the plunge, not allowing herself time to think. “I think the office of a pastor’s wife would be one of utmost honor and joy. To share in a partnership like that with someone you love and who loves God and wants to serve Him would be close to my idea of heaven.”

  “But the people can be so hurtful at ti
mes.” His focus still wasn’t on her and it seemed as if he was barely listening to her words.

  “The people?” she asked.

  “The church.” He glanced toward the singers who were busy collecting their music and purses and calling out to their children over the wheeze of the vacuum.

  Lauren frowned up at him. Was he referring to this church?

  “I know a lot of pastors who’ve left the ministry because they’ve been hurt deeply by members of their congregations,” he said. “Their wives suffer along with them. We’re always conscious of the fact that we are employees and not really part of a church family. We can be fired at any time if the church votes on it. And sometimes it seems as if half the members are constantly searching for some reason to do just that.”

  Lauren realized as Archer spoke that this conversation had nothing to do with her. The automatic disappointment she felt was first tempered then replaced by concern for his obvious struggle. “That doesn’t happen in every church,” she said gently. “It never happened at my home church in Knolls. Does this have anything to do with the rumor?”

  He looked up at her at last and she could see the anguish in his eyes. “I guess I’m pretty easy to read.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “I thought that’s what I was doing.”

  “Well then, carry on.” Once again she dug deep and found the willpower to keep her mouth shut. Sometimes she amazed herself.

  “I never had an older sister but I can’t help envying your brothers. They didn’t appreciate you enough when we were kids.”

  “They pick their moments.” Older sister. She took the unintentional slam in stride.

  He laid the rag down and rubbed his face. “So in spite of everything you think it would be rewarding to be a pastor’s wife?”

  Again that little skip of a heartbeat. “I think the right person would feel it was an honor.”

  “Half of me wants to try to convince Jessica of that. The other half wants to warn her to keep running the other way.”

  This time the disappointment went all the way to Lauren’s toes. Specters of Lukas Bower came back to haunt her. She’d known better. This time she’d known but she had allowed herself a small piece of hope in spite of the fact that Archer had been in love with another woman when she came to Dogwood Springs. This friendship was merely an old one that had grown comfortable for Archer over the years of church camp and school games and visits to the farm. Had she betrayed her silly little crush in some way?

  Suddenly overwhelmed by feelings of foolishness, Lauren stepped down to the roses, inhaled their delicate fragrance, and allowed the silence to wash over her. She shouldn’t be surprised. Maybe she could blame Grant because it was his suggestion a few weeks ago that made her wonder if she really might be a good pastor’s wife. Grant was the one who had told her she was such a source of encouragement, such help to Archer and to others. He was the one who treated her as if she was someone special.

  “You know,” she said softly, “I’ve always loved the silence of a church auditorium when everyone’s gone. I guess you have that experience every day. It probably grows old to you but somehow I feel a reverence here when I’m alone, kind of like I feel when I’m out on the creek talking to God. All I can do is remind you how much He cares.” She was chattering again. “His will is going to take place no matter what we do here on earth. If it’s His will for you and Jessica to be together it’ll be in His time. Is Jessica afraid of being married to a pastor or is it this church that frightens her?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Was it the rumor that caused her to break the engagement?”

  Again that slight flush and then the shuttered look in his eyes as he avoided Lauren’s gaze. The rumor. Did it involve her in some way? It couldn’t.

  “No,” he said, “but it’s messed things up since then. I think the aftermath of it is the reason we aren’t back together.”

  Lauren tried not to judge Jessica for allowing something like a rumor to affect her commitment to Archer. “Please tell me it didn’t originate here in our own church.” She was fishing and she knew it was obvious. Even though she hated gossip, she wished she knew what this rumor was so she could help staunch it.

  He stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets. “It originated at the hospital.”

  “Our hospital?”

  “I shouldn’t be talking about this to you. I’m your pastor.”

  “You’re my friend and I’m yours.” Lauren wanted to tell him that a woman who wouldn’t accept everything about him didn’t deserve his love but she had no right to advise Archer about anything, even if he did think of her as the older sister he never had.

  Older sister.

  All she knew about romance was that it always happened for other people, never her. And here she was worrying more about herself than about Archer. How selfish.

  “She doesn’t believe the rumor,” Archer said.

  “Of course she wouldn’t. I’ve only met Jessica a couple of times but she struck me as someone with a lot of common sense.” She was also beautiful and effervescent and larger than life without an ounce of fat. She was almost as tall as Archer, with riotous brown hair and eyes filled with warmth. She had the voice of an angel with an amazing range that held the listener breathless. Lauren had liked her immediately.

  The auditorium door closed in the foyer, leaving Archer and Lauren alone.

  Archer looked at his watch. “Time to get back to work. I have a meeting with a man about a computer. Ours is getting old and crotchety and since I’m the only one on staff who knows anything about them I get to choose the new system. Thanks for the counseling session, Lauren.” He quick-stepped to the aisle and out of the auditorium. She sighed as she watched him leave. Why should she even be surprised?

  ***

  Lauren parked in the visitor section in front of the hospital and took the front entrance. She wasn’t scheduled to work tonight but something about Archer’s response to her questions continued to haunt her—particularly the part about a rumor. She found Gina straightening her workstation in preparation of leaving for the day.

  Gina smiled when she saw Lauren. “Can’t stay away from this place, can you?”

  Lauren sat down in the extra chair and leaned close. “Have you heard any good hospital gossip lately?”

  “Good gossip? No. There isn’t any such thing.”

  “Any gossip at all?”

  Gina’s smile faded. “You don’t listen to stuff like that.”

  So there was something. “What did you hear?”

  Gina stood up and pulled off her lab coat then took great pains to fold it and drape it over her arm. She still didn’t look at Lauren. “I’m always hearing things.”

  Lauren’s stomach tightened. “You might as well tell me or I’ll pester you until you do. Does it have something to do with me? And maybe Archer?”

  Gina sat back down. “Why ask me since you already know?”

  Lauren nearly retched. “How did it get started?”

  “Remember when we caught Fiona Perkins eavesdropping on us?”

  Lauren tried to recall what she’d said that day. “We were talking about Archer.”

  “It’s just stupid stuff that’ll blow over when everybody realizes it isn’t true.”

  “When what isn’t true? I told you I had a thing for Archer. It’s true.”

  Gina blinked at Lauren then looked pointedly at her stomach. “Remember what else you said? That you thought he’d be a great father? People will realize you’re not pregnant when you retain your figure.”

  If Lauren hadn’t been sitting down she’d have crashed to the floor. She breathed deeply and sat back. The wash of shock and pain left her breathless. “People think I’m pregnant?”

  “Oh no. You really haven’t heard.”

  “Fiona is telling people I’m pregnant?” Lauren thought she might pass out. She suddenly wished she was a kid again and could get away with socking t
he big-mouthed class bully in the gut.

  “It’s stupid. I heard people talking about it upstairs today and told them to shut up. It didn’t exactly endear me to my co-workers.”

  “It endears you to me.” Lauren tried to force herself to gloss over this blade in the back for Gina’s sake but it was too difficult. “So that’s what Fiona meant Wednesday night.”

  “What did she say?”

  “I lost my dinner in the bathroom—you know with this stupid bug that keeps hanging on—and she must’ve heard me. She made some remark about morning sickness. I had no idea what she was talking about.”

  “So you ignored her as you should have,” Gina said. “Fiona Perkins is an interfering, mean, troublemaking—”

  “Unhappy, hurting human being.”

  “Who needs to lose about a hundred pounds. I could help. I’d be glad to kick her—”

  “The problem is that her rumors haven’t hurt me as badly as they have Archer,” Lauren said. Still, her pain was excruciating. Not only did her coworkers believe this of her but her church, too? “People are listening to her.”

  Gina leaned forward, her pale skin almost blue-white in the fluorescent glow of the overhead lights. “I’m not listening.”

  “I know. Thanks. Gina, are you feeling okay?”

  “Other than starving to death, I’m fine. We had a busy day and I didn’t get lunch. Want to come to my house for some macaroni and cheese from a box?”

  Lauren shook her head and stood up. “Sounds tempting but I’ve lost my appetite. I need to do some thinking.” A part of her still wanted to hunt Fiona down and punch her in the stomach. “Is your car still in the shop? I could give you a lift home on my way out of town.”

  “You’re going out of town? I thought you worked tomorrow.”

  “I’ll be back. I just need some open air. It’s oppressive around here. Need a ride?” Lauren felt a crying jag sneaking up on her. She needed to leave soon.

  “Thanks, but I’m going to walk home. I’ve got to do something to get some of this weight off. I don’t want to end up fat and bitter and mean like Fiona.”