Newton and Polly

by Jody Hedlund

  Upon reaching her, he lifted his hands to both sides of her face and bent in swiftly, taking her lips with a force that seemed to sweep her into the air so that both her heart and stomach felt weightless. He moved against her with the longing and passion of a man brought back from the brink of hell. A man who’d tasted death and now thirsted for life, for her, for them.

  She knew without a doubt that this was where she wanted to be. Always.

  Breathless, he broke away for a fraction but kept his lips against hers. “Tell me.”

  “Tell you what?” Although she already knew.

  “You know.” His low gravelly whisper made her tremble again, but this time not in fear. Although they would likely face many struggles in the days and months to come, a sense of God’s pleasure washed over her. She was where God wanted her. In his grace, ready to be used by him. With John by her side.

  She wrapped her arms around him, feeling the solidness, the surety, and the simplicity of who he was. “I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

  This time his kiss was sweeter, more tender, but still with a thread of desperation that matched hers.

  “You’re my saving grace, the only reason I came home.” It was his turn to whisper against her lips. His hands slid from her cheeks to tangle in her loose hair. “The only reason I’ll ever have for coming home.”

  “I beg of you to always come home to me.”

  “Always?”

  She nodded.

  He leaned back slightly so that his grave eyes met hers. “I’m still a poor man with only heavenly treasure. And I’m still a sinner living only by God’s grace. I have nothing to give you but my love and my Lord.”

  The sweet truth of his words brought tears to her eyes. “That’s all I need.”

  He brushed his rough, unshaven cheek against hers until his mouth found her ear. “Be mine and only mine as long as we both shall live?”

  “I already am yours,” she whispered.

  “Then that’s a yes?”

  “Yes.”

  He pressed a kiss to her ear. “I pledge you my love, my devotion, and my undying affection through every storm as long as life endures.”

  February 11, 1750

  Newton peered into the beautiful blue eyes of his angel bride. Her bright floral-patterned gown with silvery quilted petticoat fitted her body to perfection, showing off every exquisite curve and line. Light filtered through the stained-glass windows behind the altar and formed a halo among the ribbons woven into her fair hair.

  He hadn’t been able to stop staring at her since she’d arrived at St. Margaret’s.

  The curate, Reverend Jonathan Soan, was holding open The Book of Common Prayer. He turned to Newton and nodded that now was his turn to recite his vows. But Newton’s throat clogged with a thousand different emotions that stole away his voice and his breath—wonder, amazement, joy, and overwhelming love. This day that he’d been dreaming about for seven years was finally here. Aye, he’d met Polly over seven years ago and had loved her from the moment he first laid eyes upon her.

  As if sensing his difficulty in speaking, Polly squeezed his hand gently and smiled up at him, her own eyes filled with a love that he’d spent years hoping for and dreaming about, a love he didn’t deserve, but a love that he cherished more than anything. There were still days when he woke up and could hardly believe that she truly did love him.

  During the time he was mate on the Brownlow, he wrote to her almost every day. Of course, he had to wait to send the letters until he found a ship heading back to England. So the letters piled up in a drawer in his cabin for up to six weeks at a time. As the months passed, he grew more and more agitated to return to England, praying that he’d find her waiting for him as she’d promised.

  All told, the voyage had lasted from August of 1748 to December 1749. He’d been gone for over a year. In the end, he’d been in agony. If not for all his reading and studying while aboard the ship, he would have gone mad with his longing to be reunited with Polly.

  During the many days at sea, he renewed his studies of Latin with Odes of Horace. More importantly, he’d devoted himself to the study of Scripture as well as William Law’s A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life. He committed portions of the book to memory, including a passage that resonated deeply with him because of all that he’d experienced so far in his life.

  “If anyone would tell you the shortest, surest way to all happiness, he must tell you to make it a rule to yourself to thank and praise God for everything that happens to you. For it is certain that whatever seeming calamity befalls you, if you thank and praise God for it, you turn it into a blessing.”

  He had to quote Law’s words to himself many times in the days after he reached Liverpool and learned that his father had died unexpectedly in a swimming accident in Hudson Bay. Upon receiving the news, he wept bitterly over the loss. And every day since then, he lived with the regret that he’d never had the opportunity to apologize to his father face to face.

  Mayhap his father hadn’t said that he loved him, but he’d shown him in countless ways over the years in the sacrifices he’d made, the willing help he’d given when Newton hadn’t deserved it. His father had continued to fight for him and love him even when he’d been his ugliest and nastiest. He respected his father more with every passing day.

  And he respected his mother more too. He might have had her in his life for only a short while, but she’d left a lasting impact. He realized that now too. And he wished that she could be present to see him marrying the godly daughter of one of her best friends.

  Aye, even on this glorious day next to the woman of his dreams, both sadness and regret mingled through the joy.

  Whispers came from the nave among the parishioners who had come to witness his marriage. Polly’s eyes hadn’t wavered from his, but they filled with worry. Did she think he was having second thoughts? Surely she should know better.

  He grinned, hoping to alleviate her concern. The day was God ordained. Providence himself had saved him from the clutches of death so many times that it was no small miracle he was present and standing beside Polly.

  He cleared his throat again. “I, John, take thee, Polly, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance and, thereto, I plight thee my troth.”

  As Polly stated her vows in a clear, sincere voice, he thought back to their reunion only six weeks ago, the first time they’d seen each other since that day she’d run after him and promised to marry him. Never had the desire to stay and be with her been more tempting. Even though he’d nearly killed himself tearing away from her and continuing down the road without her, he’d wanted to prove to himself and Manesty that he was a man of his word, a man of integrity just as his father had been. Just as Mr. Catlett was.

  Reverend Soan gave him another nod.

  Newton dug into his pocket, and his fingers closed around the smooth metal band that he found among his father’s possessions when he stopped by his boyhood home in Wapping. Thomasina and his half siblings had greeted him kindly, sharing in the sorrow of their loss together. He’d vowed to watch over them as best he could. He knew his father would have wanted him to.

  The ring had belonged to his mother. And Newton wanted to believe his father would have been happy to know he was now giving it to Polly, to know that he loved Polly with the same deep and abiding love that his father had once given his mother.

  Reverend Soan held out the open prayer book, and Newton placed the ring onto it as was the custom. The curate lifted the ring, said a blessing over it, and then handed it back to Newton. Newton reached for Polly’s left hand and her fourth finger, reveling at the smoothness of her skin.

  He held the ring above her finger and at the same time spoke words of commitment from his heart. “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my wor
ldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”

  His worldly goods were few. But Polly had reassured him again over the past six weeks that what mattered most was their relationship, not where they lived or what they owned. Manesty had offered him another voyage, this time as captain of the Duke of Argyle. He’d make more money this time. But even so, he still wouldn’t have enough to provide her a home or possessions. They’d agreed that Polly would continue to live in Chatham with her parents at least for this next voyage. Then she wouldn’t have to be alone while he was gone.

  He knew he wouldn’t sail ships forever. If God had saved him, the worst of sinners, then he must have something important for him to do. He would use him for some purpose. Newton wasn’t certain what that would be. But he could do nothing less than give himself completely over to the One who had saved both his body and soul more times than he could count.

  Polly’s tender gaze told him that she would be by his side through it all. Whatever God sent their way, she would be the anchor in his life, always believing in him, always drawing him back home.

  He slid the ring down her finger and had the overwhelming urge to lean down and kiss her until they were both breathless. From the heat that flared in her eyes, he could see that he’d sparked the same desire in her.

  Reverend Soan took a step back and then waved to the prayer cushion.

  Newton took Polly’s arm and together they knelt. He intertwined his fingers with hers, and his heart leapt with gladness to think that they would start their marriage the way he hoped they could keep it going—through prayer.

  “Let us pray,” the reverend said solemnly.

  Newton bowed his head.

  “O eternal God, creator and preserver of all mankind, giver of all spiritual grace, the author of everlasting life, send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this woman.”

  Giver of all spiritual grace.

  The words resonated deeply in Newton and brought forth the words of the song that had been forming since the storm at sea when he’d finally begun his journey back to God.

  Amazing grace! How sweet the sound

  That saved a wretch like me!

  I once was lost, but now am found;

  Was blind, but now I see.

  ’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

  And grace my fears relieved;

  How precious did that grace appear

  The hour I first believed.

  Through many dangers, toils and snares,

  I have already come;

  Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

  And grace will lead me home.

  The Lord has promised good to me,

  His Word my hope secures;

  He will my Shield and Portion be,

  As long as life endures.

  Author’s Note

  After his voyage as mate on the Brownlow, John Newton became a ship captain like his father and went on to make three more voyages between 1750 and 1754 before a strange illness finally put an end to his seafaring career. During his illness he remained unemployed for ten months, a time fraught with anxiety, especially because Polly became ill too. However, as was the case many times in Newton’s life, God miraculously intervened. He opened a way for Newton to become appointed as Liverpool’s surveyor of the tides.

  He and Polly moved to Liverpool, where Newton remained in his position for many years. During that time Newton felt certain that God was calling him into full-time ministry. He studied Greek and Latin during his spare time and applied to become ordained by the Church of England. For seven years he faced rejection in his quest to become a pastor. But in all that time, he never gave up. In 1764 he gave up his surveyor of the tides position and was appointed as curate of the Church of St. Peter and St. Paul in Olney, a town sixty miles north of London.

  During his years as a pastor at Olney, he became friends with a man by the name of William Cowper. The two collaborated in writing hymns and eventually put together a hymnal called Olney Hymns. One of the songs that became a part of that hymnal was “Amazing Grace.”

  Newton wrote the song in 1773 in preparation for a New Year’s Day sermon. Unlike other pastors of the time who used only the King James Bible and The Book of Common Prayer for their church services, Newton strove to make his services something that his congregation (made up primarily of laborers and tradesmen) could understand. He often wrote hymns that tied in with his sermons in order to make the message more meaningful for uneducated people.

  Perhaps Newton didn’t pen “Amazing Grace” until he became the pastor of Olney, but I would like to believe that the words had been forming long before that during the many toils and tribulations that he experienced early in his life. Whatever the case, “Amazing Grace” has gone on to become the most beloved hymn in the world, as well as the most recorded and most sung. It has been sung for over 240 years across all continents and all cultures by billions of people.

  But how many people know the amazing story behind the writer of “Amazing Grace”? And even more importantly, how many know just how instrumental Polly Catlett was in bringing him to his amazing grace moment? God used her in an incredible way to lure John out of his life of degradation and slave trading in Africa. If not for her, John likely wouldn’t have left Africa or his wayward life there. If not for her, he wouldn’t have been aboard the Greyhound when it encountered the storm that changed his life. If not for her, the prodigal son might never have returned to England to make peace with both his earthly and heavenly fathers.

  The truth is Polly Catlett played a critical role in the development of “Amazing Grace.” Her story deserves to be told and lauded every bit as much as Newton’s. It’s my prayer that this book finally gives her the recognition that she’s due.

  Although they were never able to have any children of their own, they went on to adopt two children of deceased family members. In addition to infertility, they faced other challenges. But through it all, they continued to pray together. John’s love for her remained as strong as always. Later in a letter to Polly, he said, “My love has been growing from the day of marriage, and still it is in a growing state. It was once as an acorn, but it has now a deep root and spreading branches like an old oak. It would not have proved so if the Lord had not watered it with his blessing.”

  Two of the many resources I used in my research and highly recommend are Out of the Depths: The Autobiography of John Newton and a well-researched and thorough biography, John Newton: From Disgrace to Amazing Grace by Jonathan Aitken. As with most of my novels that are based on the lives of real people, readers want to know what’s true and what I made up. Well, most of what I’ve included in the pages of this book really did happen. Newton and Polly really did meet at a young age. Newton really did claim to have fallen in love with her at first sight. He overspent his time at the Catletts on numerous occasions and lost his jobs in the process. Because of his lack of character, the Catletts forbade further contact with Polly. He was impressed into the Royal Navy but later deserted; he was whipped and demoted. He was transferred from the Harwich to a merchant vessel and from there spent time dealing in the slave trade in Africa.

  Captain Swanwick of the Greyhound did lie to Newton about a supposed inheritance in order to entice him to leave Africa. The ship did experience a terrible storm at sea. I tried to portray everything about that voyage and storm as accurately as possible, including the starvation conditions and the miraculous intervention that landed them in Ireland only hours away from being swept out to sea in another storm without any drinking water left.

  After learning that the inheritance didn’t exist, Newton did write to Susanna Eversfield, ending his relationship with Polly. A few days later, he learned that his father had beseeched the Catletts on his behalf and that now the Catletts had given their blessing on the union. Polly was hesitant about renewing her relationship with Newton. He had to propose to her three times before she finally accep
ted.

  Most of the minor characters mentioned in the novel are true, including all the family members, shipmates, and captains. The settings and timelines are mostly accurate too.

  I did have to adjust Polly’s and Newton’s ages slightly. When she first met John, Polly was only thirteen. Since most modern readers wouldn’t be able to relate to a passionate romance between a thirteen-year-old and a sixteen-year-old, I made them slightly older.

  I also added in the subplot of dealing with the smugglers. We do know that at this particular time in Kent, England, smuggling was a huge problem. Dangerous smuggling gangs existed in abundance, particularly in and around the River Medway and the coast near Chatham. The practice of customs officers taking bribes from smugglers was commonplace. While many people were threatened and even killed by smugglers, I invented the threat to Polly and John for the sake of the story. Billy Baldock is also a completely fictional character, although he is representative of a riding officer of the time and of someone in the middling class striving to improve himself and move up in status.

  Finally, I purposefully neglected to mention that the Brownlow, the ship that Manesty wanted Newton to command, was a slave-trading ship. It’s nearly impossible for modern readers ( including myself) to reconcile that a truly repentant Christian who’d experienced a saving grace moment as powerful as Newton’s could turn around and agree to be the assistant to the captain of a slave trader.

  Essentially a slave-trading ship would sail along the coast of Africa and buy slaves from the slave factories ( like the one in Kittam that John and his partner managed ). They would trade for months before finally having enough slaves crammed into the hold. Then they would make the voyage from Africa to the West Indies or American colonies where the slaves were in high demand. They would sell the slaves in an auction-like format before returning to England to be outfitted for another slave-trading voyage.