Call Me Stewardess

by Elizabeth Landry

  During the first half of the flight, he hadn’t stopped helping me with everything I was taking on. He was running to the back to get juice for the kids. He was lifting the drawers for the meals. He was urgently making the coffees I needed. He had even helped out the flight attendant who was alone in the back galley. He was everywhere at once, still always completing his own tasks with perfection. I couldn’t have hoped for better company.

  We had been highly efficient and had managed to finish our side of the aircraft way before our “rivals” in the left aisle. However, it wasn’t because we had been extremely fast, but rather because they were a bit slow. I understood, once at the back, that my dear Debbie had been dragging her feet all throughout the service, truly aggravating her cart partner.

  It was common for different flight attendants’ rhythms to be off. The efficiency gap was sufficient to create some tension on board. A partner who chatted too much with the passengers got on our nerves. Another who was serving only two passengers while we served ten was annoying. And if one of them pushed the cart before their partner was ready, someone could have a fit. Each individual had their own personal blacklist of cabin crew. I had mine. I wondered if my name appeared on someone else’s. Debbie’s name is most likely being written down on her cart partner’s list at this very moment, I thought.

  Once the service was finally completed, we were lucky enough to get a quick ten minutes to eat our crew meals. I was hungry and was craving a real meal, not the breakfast served on the flight. Therefore, I decided to pick from the crew meals reserved for our return flight. Todd was by my side and as he saw me looking around the compartment tagged Crew Meal Inbound, he took part in my plan. I started reading the labels out loud so that he could make a choice.

  “Curried chicken, beef stroganoff, vegetable lasagna, garden salad,” I listed.

  As we didn’t have much time to heat up the meals, he opted for the salad. Good choice! I thought, and chose the same as him before closing the compartment door. We were about to start our descent so Todd and I quickly settled on the crew seats in order to wolf down our meals. That’s when the unpredictable happened.

  The other flight attendants had also finished their service and had arrived at the back for a bite. The ones who weren’t hungry had gone to the front for a chat. As for the others, they were going through the meal container. I could hear them talk.

  “I’m gonna have cereal and a hot meal. Can you pass me the omelet, please?” said one of them.

  “I prefer Corn Flakes, are you happy with Raisin Bran?” said another.

  I could hear them open and close the ovens. The compartment doors constantly slamming. Suddenly, a panic-stricken voice exclaimed:

  “Where are the salads?”

  I froze. Normally, there were only two salads on board and they were currently being devoured by two flight attendants, one of which was me. I looked at Todd with fear. He turned his head away, oblivious to the reason of my reaction. He was chewing away on a tomato and I understood that he was at ease with his meal choice. I realized I had the same right to eat my green leaves, so I continued to nibble on my salad. Again, I heard the same voice.

  “Who took MY salad?” she asked, furious.

  “I don’t know,” answered one of them.

  “I told you to put it aside and now it’s gone!”

  Uh-oh! Someone had reserved one of the salads? I didn’t remember seeing a name on either of them so I had a look at mine and Todd’s lids. Nothing. No note nor name. The salads had been stowed away exactly where they normally were. The one responsible for the meals had failed to fulfill her task. Having other fish to fry, she had probably forgotten. The conversation went on.

  “I completely forgot, Debbie. I’m so sorry,” admitted the accused voice piteously.

  Debbie? The same gentle Debbie? She was the accusing voice. No wonder I hadn’t recognized her, camouflaged under a stern and threatening voice. Where had her soft and vulnerable tone gone? I heard heavy steps come my way. Again, not really knowing why, I got scared. I hurriedly swallowed my last bite and waited, as if to be persecuted by my executioner. A shadow appeared to my right. I lifted my gaze up toward it.

  “You’re the one eating my salad? I can’t believe it! I had put it aside for later and you dared steal it away from me!” she reprimanded.

  She was clearly trying to contain her anger to avoid alerting the whole plane. Still, the volume of her voice had gone up and could most definitely be heard a few rows away. I had to explain myself yet didn’t know why I had to do so. Todd was also eating a salad but somehow, she hadn’t asked him anything, completely ignoring him.

  “I grabbed one of the salads that was in the same compartment as all the crew meals. Your name wasn’t on it. It was simply with the others. I’m sorry, but next time you should warn everyone to avoid someone taking it,” I declared with confidence and also sympathy.

  I was proud of my answer. I didn’t have anything to take the blame for. As if I had deliberately chosen to steal her salad! How dare she talk to me that way? She was telling me off the way we tell off a child, not even so much as glancing over at Todd, who had, by the way, his mouth full of garden salad. She didn’t seem to appreciate my answer as she became beet-red and shouted at me again.

  “You! To the galley now! We need to talk!”

  The situation was getting ridiculous. I looked at Todd, hoping to find out his opinion. He shrugged to indicate his lack of understanding then suggested I follow her and try to calm her down. I still couldn’t understand the reasons for this sudden attack against me. She had seemed so sweet at takeoff. Why me, why not Todd? I suspected this had something to do with my seniority. Todd had been cabin crew for seventeen years; she would have never dared to bother him with this nonsense. I breathed deeply, placed my now-eaten salad box on the table tray next to me, and got up to meet with Freaky Debbie at the back.

  As soon as I crossed to the other side of the curtains, she verbally attacked me.

  “How long have you been with the company, two years? Maybe three at the most? I’ve been here ten years, my dear! You’re in no position to tell me what to do to put my lunch aside. Okay, you junior?”

  I was petrified. I couldn’t speak. I was indeed quite junior in the company but I still attended the same annual trainings she did. Her argument didn’t hold water. Regardless, I was literally frozen in place, unable to reply anything. Comebacks must come with experience! I thought. I felt subdued. Tears were making their way up to my eyes. At all costs, I wanted to avoid further humiliation. I quickly brought the conversation to a close before running away.

  “Listen, you have more experience than me, I agree. I’m sorry, Debbie, but my intention wasn’t to steal your (freaking) salad,” I curtly retorted.

  I lowered my gaze to avoid further eye contact. That way I would avoid a second attack. Then I went to the lavatory, where I allowed myself a few tears. I felt so stupid for crying over such a trivial situation but it was the first time I had an argument with a colleague. It had never happened before. Apparently, there’s a first for everything.

  Once my tears had dried, I came out to the main cabin. We were now on our descent and I had to check my assigned section before landing. I put the drama aside and proceeded with my safety checks. I was surprised at how well-behaved the children had been throughout the flight. Next time, I thought, I’ll be wary of my own kind, not of the little ones.

  ◆◆◆

  Everyone had disembarked and I waited a little bit before making myself comfortable on one of the many empty seats. I wanted to be as far from Freaky Debbie as possible. So, as she had gone to business class to rest, I settled at the back of the aircraft, allowing some thirty rows or so to separate us. Todd spotted me in my isolated corner and came around to check if I was doing all right. I gave him every detail of what had happened. He advised me not to worry about it and assured me he’d look after me for the return flight. Ah shit! The return flight! I internally panicked. D
ebbie’s jump seat was right next to mine. I knew that once all doors of an aircraft were closed, tensions on board could quickly amplify. My mind was set: I would not say a word and would hopefully avoid making the situation worse. I wouldn’t say anything during taxi on the runway, nor during takeoff, and I would quietly keep to myself on my side of the aisle. Everything will be fine, I reassured myself.

  ◆◆◆

  New passengers boarded. Pure bliss could be seen in their eyes. No doubt, their vacation had been amazing. It is true, Disney World brings happiness to people. And plus, it was Christmas Day. For them, there was absolutely no reason to be sad. If they’re happy, I’m happy. So I regained some energy.

  The door was closed yet again. We checked our sections and sat on our jump seats. I looked to my right, out the window, and avoided turning my head toward Debbie. Our shoulders brushed. I could feel her body graze mine. There was an obvious tension between my shirt and her blazer. It was about time we took off.

  All of a sudden, Debbie started talking. Her tone was back to the soft one she had used at our first takeoff. Freaky Debbie had disappeared. I leaned closer and continued to look straight ahead, into the cabin.

  “I wanted to apologize for earlier. We still have to make it through the return flight and I don’t want this tension between us to persist,” she admitted.

  I didn’t like such a work environment either, so I agreed. However, it didn’t mean I was ready to forget about that side of her personality; it only meant that I was ready to play along for everyone’s benefit. Now, that was better. The tension from earlier vanished and I was relieved. I never liked having disagreements with colleagues.

  The return flight literally flew by. It had only been two hours and forty-five minutes long and no one had had time to sit and relax. Once landed, passengers disembarked through the front of the aircraft. As the plane was slowly getting emptied, I grabbed my carry-on and put on my winter jacket. I was really looking forward to being home. I headed for the exit. I could hear the final Happy Holidays wished to the passengers.

  Once the aircraft was officially empty, all cabin crew gathered. The chief purser thanked us for our spectacular work and wished us a merry Christmas. Impatient to get going, we wished her the same and left in no time. I was one of the first ones to set foot on the bridge. I was hungry for silence and briskly walked down the corridor. Still, I could hear the other flight attendants’ voices behind me, including Debbie’s.

  “Looking forward to flying with you again! You have a good evening!” she said to a colleague.

  “Oh! So am I! Don’t forget to say hello to John for me!” answered the other.

  What a coincidence, I thought. Apparently, Debbie and I had at least one thing in common. Her husband’s name was John and my inaccessible crush was also called John. It amused me.

  I continued on and finally exited the terminal. I got on the bus that would take me back to my car. Once seated, a sudden panic washed over me. Would it be possible that my John was also Freaky Debbie’s John? Impossible! It couldn’t be the case! I had to find out right away!

  My heart was racing. I was sweating through my shirt. I was hot and cold all at once. What if John was indeed Debbie’s husband? What if I had just had an argument with the one woman I had been envying for months? Freaky Debbie would officially become my worst enemy; the first flight attendant officially making it on my blacklist.

  I opened the front pocket of my suitcase. I would possibly get my answer in the next few seconds. I slid my hand down to the bottom and grasped my flight itinerary. I unfolded it, holding it firmly in both hands. My radar was attentively going through each line of the document. This time, I couldn’t care less about the captain’s name on the fourth line. What I was looking for was of utmost importance. An important piece of information that could devastate my life, my heart.

  And then, I saw the name. A name with four letters that hit me hard. My skin was sweating so much my white shirt was drenched. I wanted to unzip my jacket; to quickly cool myself down. One word, one short word was keeping me from breathing. Breathe, Scarlett, breathe! I commanded myself. Then, still seated on the bus, I read again: ROSS. DEBBIE RICHARD ROSS.

  Chapter 14

  Boston (BOS)

  Well, well, well. What a nice Christmas present! I had received a lovely surprise wrapped in pretty pink paper, secured with a soft red velvet bow. When I had opened it, what I had discovered inside was a poisoned chalice. It had almost swallowed me whole on the plane, and had stabbed me through the heart while I was seated on the bus.

  Freaky Debbie was John Ross’s wife. She was my handsome captain’s wife! The only man who had succeeded in making my heart beat strong. I now had all the reasons in the world to forget about John. I could never be with him. He hadn’t had one, but two kids with her, and had even wanted more. Needless to say, they had obviously gone through careful family planning.

  The only colleague I had ever had a dispute with was the mother of his children. Well, more than a dispute, she had actually told me off like a child. I did not wish to interfere with her life again in any way and have her scold me like she did on our flight. Moreover, she had demonstrated how much love she felt for John and her family. I was in complete shock the whole way home.

  My head was in the clouds. How could I have had the slightest hope of winning over the heart of a man whose wife is a colleague of mine, and with whom he has two kids? Who was I to dare picture myself kissing (and even go a little further with) a married man? I could only be glad I hadn’t gone knocking on his hotel door that night in Barcelona.

  More than ever, I was determined to pick up the Extreme Flirt Game where I had left off. I vowed to myself that once the holiday rush was over, Miss Scarlett would go wild. Completely wild!

  ◆◆◆

  It’s with that mindset that, a couple weeks into the year, I received an unexpected email.

  From: Brian Burke

  To: Scarlett Lambert

  Date: January 22, 2017

  Subject: News

  Hi, Scarlett,

  It’s been a while! How are you?

  I’m not sure if you’re still single but I’d love to see you again. I’ll be coming through Boston next week. Maybe we could go for a drink?

  Here’s my number 323-387-4433.

  I’ll be waiting for your response

  Brian

  What a surprise! After almost two years without seeing each other, out of the blue, Brian wrote to me. He must have recently become single and gone through his contact list, looking for interesting prospects. From what I remembered, I had had a good time with him, so why decline his invitation? Plus, I still aimed to stay committed to the Extreme Flirt. I had to accept.

  I had met Brian back in my first days working in aviation. He was one of the first pilots I flew with. He was based out of Los Angeles and I out of Boston. In my first few months as a flight attendant, I had gotten the chance to operate flights from California. As the western cities didn’t necessarily fly to the same destinations as the ones on the East Coast, I had been lucky enough to go to Japan and Australia. As for the regular flights to Europe, they were much longer from there, so I got a few opportunities to enter the cockpit, have a chat with the pilots, and soak in the sunrays.

  That’s how I got to be friends with Brian, who had just been hired as a first officer. As we first had to cross the whole country to get to Europe, we had an exclusive view of the Rockies slicing through the middle of the United States. The scenery was breathtaking and Brian and I would marvel at the sight. While I was rarely exposed to such beauty at work, he was a constant witness to it from his glass office, but he was still always in awe along with me. He was very kind and after our first flight together, once we got to Munich, Germany, we had gone out for a meal with the crew.

  When we met, he had a girlfriend, so nothing had ever happened between us. Back then, I hadn’t mixed with enough pilots to find
them pretentious, so had Brian made a move, I would have happily accepted.

  Based on those fond memories, the idea of having a drink with him seemed rather pleasant. Therefore, we agreed that he would call me when he landed in Boston, which he did.

  “Hi, Scarlett. I just landed. I’m staying at the Hilton close to the airport. I don’t have a car so if you could come pick me up that’d be great. Then we could go for a drink near the hotel,” he had shyly suggested.

  I, of course, had accepted. He was only passing through Boston so I couldn’t imagine declining his request. I’ll just have to call him once I’m at the hotel and he can meet me in the car, I had thought. Before setting off, Becky had insisted I take a bottle of wine. She wanted everything to be perfect.

  “Come on, Becky, we’re going to a pub. I don’t need wine,” I had replied, convinced that I wouldn’t drink it.

  “You never know how the evening will unfold, Scarlett! Just take it in case you need it,” she had recommended, over the moon for me. “It’s been a while since you’ve had anything happen in your life; better be prepared. You wouldn’t want to miss your chance.”

  Becky was right. I hadn’t been touched by a man in so long. Too long. Not that I hadn’t had any opportunity, but per usual, I had run away from them. I told myself that those days were over and that now, just like Becky, I would have fun with the opposite sex. I really hoped I’d find Brian attractive. Either way, if there were a couple things I didn’t like too much about him, beer goggles would be there to save the day. My mind was set: I would go with the flow and have a good time.

  ◆◆◆

  On my way to the hotel, I made the mistake of picturing the perfect scenario. I imagined I would get to the parking lot and would call Brian so that he could come down and meet me. He would open the door of the passenger seat and I would automatically be seduced by him. We would be comfortable with one another, just like we were two years ago. We would go to a nearby pub. We would have a beer and, not wanting to leave, would then order a pitcher. The evening would go by and, feeling an increasing desire for each other, we would ask for the bill. He would pay for our drinks and, once back at the hotel, would invite me up to his room. Before accepting the offer, I would kiss him to “test the goods.” His lips would perfectly embrace mine and I wouldn’t hesitate one moment about following him and continuing the evening on. We would open my bottle of wine and have more drinks. I would lose all feelings of modesty and awkwardness. I would finally be ready to have fun! The chemistry would be so intense I’d ask for more. And again, and again, until dawn. The perfect scenario. Everything would be spot-on. Now, I just had to hope that my wish would come true . . .