Call Me Stewardess

by Elizabeth Landry

  His proximity made my pulse speed up. Luckily, the folk music was intense, otherwise John would have heard my heart racing. I leaned in as well, to communicate my drink selection.

  “A cider,” I said, then looked away, self-conscious.

  He got closer to the counter and yelled our order to the barman. He returned with two pints, a Guinness in one hand and a cider in the other. I thanked him and let him know our friends had gone across to a quieter corner. We caught up to them.

  Once we were all seated on our respective benches, I remembered Becky’s words: You’re gonna see it in his eyes. She must have been right as I could gradually sense that, with his eyes, John was revealing his attraction toward me. I couldn’t explain how, but I could feel it. The way he laid his eyes on me was strangely similar to that in Paris and Barcelona, only different in one way: it was much deeper.

  With every blink, his amazing black pearls shot right through my heart and they were increasingly sparkling with every minute that passed, from one conversation to another. However, I was still waiting for a green light. Without a clear sign, I wouldn’t be ready to admit my feelings for him. Come on, give it to me, just a little , John! Just one! I mentally commanded him. I took a sip of cider and spoke to him:

  “How did your parents meet?”

  “Hm, funny question” he said, surprised. “Why do you want to know that?”

  “Out of curiosity. I was wondering why your dad was Irish and had chosen to leave this lovely music behind to settle in the States.”

  “Out of love, Scarlett. Only love can push us to make such huge decisions.”

  John smiled at me and continued.

  “When she was eighteen, my mother came to Ireland with a friend. That’s when she met my father. Once summer was over, she brought him back with her and they got married the following winter.”

  “Wow! Love at first sight!” I exclaimed dreamily.

  “Yes! That’s right! The best part of their story is that they both died together on their wedding anniversary, just before Christmas,” he confided, in a surprisingly serene manner.

  “Oh dear! John! That’s so sad. You lost both your parents at once! How old were you?”

  “They passed when I was fifteen, in a car accident,” he added, still calmly.

  The story deeply saddened me. What a cruel destiny! Poor John! At that moment, I liked him even more. I would have wanted to softly kiss him, comfort him. But it must have been me who had a long face, since he started trying to make me feel better.

  “Come on, Scarlett! You should see your face right now! Don’t worry, the beautiful memories will never die and I’m holding on to the best ones.”

  “Yes, for sure . . . But what happened to you after?”

  Dammit, Scarlett, stop it with all your questions! I scolded myself. I couldn’t help it. My handsome pilot! Such a sad story! I wanted to know.

  “I was put under my mother’s sister and her husband’s care.”

  “That’s why you didn’t go back to Ireland?” I asked.

  “That’s right. After my father’s death, I lost contact with his Irish family. I only ever come here when I have to for work.”

  Wow! That was the most profound conversation I had ever had with a colleague. He spoke with so much honesty . . . I now felt true admiration for the man, and I also felt privileged. John had opened up to me, seated on an uncomfortable bench in an Irish pub. He must have trusted me. His presence and his words were fascinating. I wondered if someone had noticed our obvious closeness. What if someone had? How would Freaky Debbie react if she knew? No one could find out about my crush. I quickly glanced around the table.

  Megan was still talking to Sebastian, which didn’t surprise me. They didn’t seem to care about my presence, nor John’s. Barry and Diane had disappeared. Everything was under control. To create a diversion, I worried about my two colleagues’ absence:

  “Do you know where the others have gone?”

  “They went out for a smoke,” answered Megan. “I think that after the pub, they want to get some fresh air in the park in front of the hotel.”

  “Oh really?” I asked, a bit disappointed to see the evening ending so soon.

  “It’s already eleven p.m., but it could be cool to go for a walk before going to sleep. What do you think?” Megan asked.

  Already eleven p.m.! Time had gone so quickly! Megan was waiting for our answer. I didn’t want to leave, even if my bum was hurting from the lack of comfort on the wooden bench. If we were to leave, maybe John would take the opportunity to go back to the hotel, just like he did in Paris . . . I needed more time. Maybe with another beer he would demonstrate his interest? Not wanting to blow my cover, I let him decide.

  “Hm, I’ll get another Guinness. Then we can see about the park,” he said, looking at me for approval.

  “Yes, I agree.”

  I offered to pay for the next round. He accepted and came to grab the drinks with me. Once back in position, I decided to express my gratitude:

  “Well, thanks for telling me your parents’ story. It’s a truly beautiful love story.”

  “Happy you liked it. Do you believe in love at first sight, Scarlett?” he whispered, not letting anyone else hear.

  What kind of question is this! Of course I believe in it! I experienced it with you! I thought. But instead, I simply answered:

  “Yes, I do. And you?”

  “Of course, that’s how my parents met.”

  “Have you ever experienced it?” I continued.

  “Yes.”

  “With your wife, I guess?”

  Why had I asked that? Obviously, it was with his wife, otherwise he wouldn’t be married to her right now! I didn’t feel like hearing about Freaky Debbie. Especially not from John. I had to rectify the situation.

  “Ah! Sorry, John, that was a stupid question. Of course, it’s with her,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “Hm, if you say so,” he said, sighing.

  What? If you say so? Nothing else? No details? How could he keep me in the dark like that? A true psychological torture! Should I conclude that Freaky Debbie and John had not fallen in love at first sight? And if she wasn’t the lucky one, who was? Me? There I was again, hallucinating. And what about my clear sign? It was nowhere to be seen! Arg! I quickly chugged my cider and saw Barry and Diane walk toward us.

  “We’re gonna continue the evening in the park. Are you guys coming?” asked Diane.

  “Yes! We’re ready!” confirmed Megan, also speaking for Sebastian.

  As I had just finished my pint, I no longer had any excuse to stay. I needed air anyway. I was hoping that my handsome pilot did as well.

  “Yeah, I’m also ready. Some fresh air will be good,” I said, hoping to convince John.

  “Okay! Let’s go!” he said decisively, and jumped to his feet.

  We exited the pub. I walked in front of him, alone behind Megan. I was disappointed with the outcome of the evening and no longer felt like talking. Regardless of the deep conversation about love at first sight and of the other intimate subjects we had talked about, nothing confirmed that he was attracted to me. You’re gonna see it in his eyes! Yeah, right, Becky! His eyes were just sumptuous. Nothing more! I had no point of reference. Why go to the park? Why continue investigating the matter again and again? I give up! I decided, following the group on the way back.

  ◆◆◆

  Lost in thought, I snapped back to reality when I felt a sudden warmth wrapping around my hand. I looked down and saw that strong fingers had weaved their way through mine. John was holding my hand! I was shocked and could barely keep putting one foot in front of the other. He slowed down, making me follow suit. Then he stopped altogether. I did the same. My heart was about to explode. What would he do? Kiss me? Here, in front of everyone? We couldn’t expose ourselves to the group. Ah! Whatever! I thought. Do it, John! Kiss me!

  He stared into my eyes to fully get my attention, even though I had been paying attention to
his every move for a very long time. For an eternity even. I was waiting for him to move in close to me so that I could reciprocate. His mouth will be mine any moment now, I dreamed. Then, he delicately moved his lips. This is it, Scarlett! You finally did it! Fireworks were illuminating my insides. My body was warming up, literally getting the hots for him. John opened his mouth:

  “I’m very happy that you’re here, Scarlett,” he whispered, then let go of my hand and continued to walk.

  What? That’s it? No tongue twisting? Not even a little smooch? What a disappointment! What kind of message did he think I’d get from that? He was very happy . . . So, was that a go sign for me? I wasn’t entirely convinced. I started walking again, my head low. When we finally arrived at the St Stephen’s Green’s entrance, the gate was closed.

  “Ah! Damn! We’re too late,” exclaimed Diane.

  “There’s light inside, maybe the entrance by the hotel is still open,” suggested Barry.

  “Yeah, I hope so,” added Megan.

  We walked along the park’s fence, heading for the other entrance. John was walking close to me. Neither of us was talking. His last words echoed through my head. I’m very happy that you’re here, Scarlett. I analyzed each word, one syllable, one letter at a time. What was I supposed to surmise from that? And then, all of a sudden, it hit me: The verdict was in! I had had my sign! John had just given it to me. I no longer had any choice; I had to act on it.

  My heart started going crazy. Beating harder and harder, it was trying to burst out of my chest. Fear was giving me cold sweats. The clue I had just gotten helped me evaluate my chances. Failure was conceivable, and I dreaded it. A few minutes later, we arrived at another closed gate.

  “Well then, what should we do now?” asked Diane, settled on not going to bed.

  “We could go to the pub next door. It’s not even midnight,” suggested Sebastian.

  I looked at Barry and Megan and gathered that they agreed with the proposal. I didn’t know what to say as John had yet to speak his mind. Again, I wanted to wait for him to make a decision.

  “I’m gonna head back,” he said. “You guys have a good night.”

  He waved good-bye to everyone, looked at me, and crossed the street to the hotel. Whoah I did not see that one coming! John was slipping through my fingers and I couldn’t do anything about it! It looked like I had, once again, hallucinated. There hadn’t been a sign at all. I was devastated.

  I started walking along with the rest of the group. From the hotel’s main window, I could see John going up the stairs. I reminded myself of all the things that came between us, and decided this outcome was probably for the best. I walked past the building and continued toward its back alley. In between each footstep, clear images were coming back to me. Paris. Barcelona. The way he confided in me. His gaze. His hand holding mine. The indescribable chemistry between us. Suddenly, I heard a voice. It was clearly calling out to me.

  Scarlett! You weren’t dreaming. John wants you. Seize the opportunity! It’s now or never! Go!

  All my doubts vanished. I had to get back to the hotel.

  I abruptly stopped walking.

  “Hey, guys! I’m tired. I’m not gonna go with you actually. I’ll see you all tomorrow! G’night!”

  As soon as I had said bye, without even waiting for their reply, I turned around. I walked briskly, trying to avoid breaking into a run and blowing my cover. I reached the front door in no time.

  It’s as if I had transformed into a dangerous predator. And my prey was nearby. I could pick up its smell. I, too, went up the stairs. On the way up, I skipped over a couple steps, which quickly put me out of breath. I went past floor one. I could hear footsteps in front of me but still couldn’t see John. I jumped over a couple more steps. The sound seemed close. I was completely out of breath. I had to slow down. I didn’t want to look like some hungry animal out on a hunt.

  I breathed deeply, barely catching my breath. I continued going up and as I saw the stairs to floor two, I finally spotted him. John also saw me. He seemed surprised.

  “I decided to go to bed too,” I said, panting.

  I climbed up to him. I was hoping he’d say, Scarlett, I’d love to hold you in my arms, kiss you and make love to you all night long! but obviously, he didn’t say any of that. He simply smiled instead. I remained silent. We went through a first door, then a second, and another one. My heart couldn’t take it anymore. My arteries were pumping as hard as they could. Any moment now, one of them would explode and provoke internal bleeding. John stopped in front of his room.

  “Good night, Scarlett, see you tomorrow,” he said kindly.

  It’s now or never! repeated the soft voice. I had to listen to it. Surely, my instinct can’t be wrong, I thought, and positioned myself between him and the door to his room.

  “John! You can’t leave like this! There’s something going on between us. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just know. Please tell me I’m not crazy!”

  There it was! The cat was out of the bag. I had laid myself bare right there, in the middle of the hotel’s hallway. What would he say to me? Surprisingly, I didn’t look away like so many times before. My hunting instincts took over. From then on, my shyness gave way to a boldness that dared face his charismatic presence.

  He looked down and sighed. Out of relief? Out of joy? Exasperation?

  “Good night, Scarlett,” he repeated.

  Arg! Arg! Arg! Good night? Why not punch me in the face while you’re at it?! How humiliating! I, in turn, sighed. All I needed to be completely knocked out was a childish kiss on the cheek. And that’s exactly what he set about to do. Arg!

  John leaned in, his face close to mine, to give my left cheek a friendly kiss. I was staring at the ground. He moved back to make his way to my second cheek. But en route, he made an unsuspected stop. Curious, I looked up. Then, I felt his delicious mouth parting my lips. John was kissing me! FINALLY! Our first kiss! The best kiss of all! And perhaps the last? No! I wanted more!

  “John! Let’s go inside your room, we wouldn’t want to be seen,” I whispered.

  He looked at me with fiery eyes. His manliness was dominating him. And all the better, because I felt like being dominated. There was no more doubt. Not that night. He slipped the magnetic key inside the lock. I heard the clicking sound and we swiftly crossed to the other side.

  The hunter I had been earlier no longer existed. The roles had switched. I was now delighted to have become the prey.

  “Scarlett! Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for this?” he roared, passionately pushing me against the wall.

  “Since a moment ago?” I answered, puzzled.

  He smiled.

  “Since Paris,” he said, making my mouth his again.

  “Me too,” I let out, before being pulled toward the bed. Had I heard him right? John had wanted me all along? Well, if tonight was the only night we could allow ourselves to have, I’d definitely make the most of it. I admired my trophy, pulled his head between my hands, and, looking right at my target, commanded my desires.

  “I want you so bad,” I said, then found myself undressed like I had wanted to be for so long.

  ◆◆◆

  John was bare-chested when he pulled me against the hard erection in his pants. He turned me on so much, he drove me crazy. I had been aroused and completely naked for a while now. My patience was reaching its limit. I wanted him inside me; it was the only thing that would satiate me. However, it looked like he wasn’t quite ready as he was pushing my hand away anytime I tried to unzip his pants. The captain in him wanted to stay in control.

  His piercing eyes were observing my reactions. They didn’t miss a thing. He strongly held on to my chin so that I would stop moving. I could no longer think.

  Intrigued with my body, he moved his mouth toward my throat, then my chest. I could feel his beard softly grazing my skin. He was savoring me, sensually yet forcefully lifting me toward him. Seeing him devour me that way, I h
ad an uncontrollable urge to dig my fingernails into his back.

  “Take me now, John.”

  As soon as I had expressed my wish, John stopped and stared at me. A second passed. Maybe two. He softly smiled, moved his handsome face closer to mine, and kissed me. He was making me wait but I knew very well what was coming. His lips were hypnotizing and while I was letting my imagination run wild, he moved away and stood up next to the bed. He was admiring me. I did the same. I could feel his desire grow more and more intense. He then undid his jeans, letting them fall to the ground. He moved his body closer to mine, his mouth closer to mine, and finally fulfilled me. Hallelujah!

  ◆◆◆

  The sun had just risen and a soft pink light glimmered through the room. I hadn’t been dreaming. John was there, next to me, gently holding me. I had no desire to leave, but I had to. The longer I stayed with him, the more intense the feeling of being his mistress would become. I turned and watched him sleep. I knew that this privileged moment between us would probably be the last. I tenderly placed my lips on his as a good-bye and silently slipped out of bed. I put my clothes on and tiptoed to my room.

  I would have liked to know what was going to happen next but had preferred leaving on the sly to avoid asking him. I had been his lover for a night; I had no right to ask for more. I felt no regret. Not yet. And I hoped John wouldn’t feel any remorse. The softness of his kiss didn’t lie, but still, I wanted his confirmation. I had a flight to operate with him; all I needed was to wait for the right moment to talk to him about it . . . that is, of course, as long as he showed up.

  Chapter 21

  Dublin (DUB) – Boston (BOS)

  We had started our last drinks service before landing in Boston. I had been walking on air the whole flight through. That morning, when we had arrived in the lobby, John had asked if I had slept well. When he heard me respond “marvelously well,” he had smiled and answered that so had he. His eyes were glimmering, so were mine. I felt triumphant, but conscious that I hadn’t won in any way, and wouldn’t ever win.