Loyalty and War

by Devon Vesper

  Valis glanced at the office door and nodded. “Thank you.”

  Once Firil was gone, Tavros gave Valis a hug from behind, pressed a kiss behind his right ear, and went to the side wall. He brought back two chairs and placed them beside Kerac’s cot, then reached for Valis’s hand and drew him over.

  “Come on, love. He needs you.”

  Valis didn’t hesitate. With that single tug, he let Tavros lead him over to the chairs and sat himself down, his hands automatically reaching for Kerac as if they had minds of their own.

  “He needs a bath,” Valis whispered.

  “You can bathe him,” Firil said from close behind Valis’s chair. “I was going to have my assistants do it soon, but there is a bathing room through the door on the left if you and Tavros wish to do it yourself.

  “I’ll go get him a change of clothes from his suite,” Tavros said. He stood, pressed a kiss to Valis’s temple, and left, leaving Valis alone with Kerac and Firil.

  Firil took Tavros’s vacated seat and rested his clasped hands in his lap. “Once you get him bathed and on a clean cot to rest, you and Tavros should go on to bed. I will send for you both when he wakes, but it is very late, and you need your sleep if you want to stay strong for him.”

  All Valis could do was nod. His vocal chords wouldn’t work, so he didn’t try to force them. Instead, while he waited, he contented himself with petting Kerac’s head to ease his own heart, to remind him that Kerac was here and he was safe.

  Tavros returned sometime later, and after spending an hour getting Kerac clean and into clean clothes that looked ten times too large on him, they tucked him into a clean cot and Valis sat down to try to relax. Everything was pressing down on him, and he needed a moment to get his body to stop shaking from the adrenaline crash from finding one of his fathers half-dead.

  Then, out of nowhere, Kerac sucked in a wheezed gasp. His eyes fluttered open. He clutched at the bed sheets as if they were a lifeline.

  Then he started screaming.

  The sound was like nothing Valis had ever heard before—broken, pained, lost, agonized… tortured.

  Valis tried to calm him down. He stroked along Kerac’s head, whispered words near his ear, but it was like Kerac couldn’t hear him, like he was lost in his own mind, seeing and hearing terrible things. He screamed so hard, only stopping to refill his lungs, that Firil rushed back into the room and placed a glowing hand on his head.

  Kerac instantly went limp, and Valis turned accusing eyes onto the healer. “What did you do?”

  Firil frowned down at Kerac. “I put him into a magical coma. Not stasis. That would prevent him from healing. Instead, I forced him to sleep. He must rest, and I feared he would hurt himself. We will try removing it tomorrow.”

  “But—”

  Tavros grabbed Valis’s hand and squeezed. “Listen to Firil, love. Let’s go rest. We can come back in the morning and see how he’s doing.”

  “I’m afraid,” Valis whispered. “What if—”

  “He will be monitored constantly,” Firil assured. “Nothing will happen to him during your respite. Go rest, Valis. He will need you when he wakes.”

  With a deep sigh, Valis forced himself out of his chair at Tavros’s insistence and gave Kerac one last look before he let Tavros lead him out of the room.

  “Come on, love,” Tavros said as he linked their fingers and drew him down the hall. “Let’s give our friends the news, kick them out of our suite, and get some sleep. We’ll send Seza out to alert Thyran that you won’t be teaching anyone tomorrow.”

  “Yeah,” Valis said on a gusted breath. “Yeah. Thanks.”

  He would humor his husband, but Valis doubted he would sleep at all.

  Chapter Two

  The next day, Valis didn’t wake until lunchtime. Tavros lay snuggled up to his back, his arm snug around his waist. Valis closed his eyes, enjoying his husband’s soft, rhythmic breaths that puffed against the back of his neck. He tried to move but gave up with a soft chuckle when he realized Tavros was lying on his hair.

  Just that little chuckle felt strange after the heartache of the previous night. Valis itched to go check on Kerac, but he didn’t have the heart to wake Tavros to start their day. They’d both had a rough night with Valis tossing and turning for hours before his body had finally had enough and he passed out sometime after dawn.

  Settling into a doze, Valis laid there for another hour before Tavros finally stirred. He grunted and squeezed Valis’s waist as he stretched out his back and legs, pressing his morning arousal into the crease of Valis’s ass.

  “Good morning,” Tavros murmured, his sleepy voice thick and gravelly.

  “You mean good afternoon?” Valis glanced over at the clock on his nightstand and stretched, too. “Lunch is halfway over for the day.”

  Tavros groaned, burying his face in Valis’s hair and rocking his hips. “Lunch or sex? I’m leaning toward sex and more sleep.”

  Valis huffed a laugh, reaching behind him to swat Tavros’s hip through the covers. “I want to check on Papa soon.”

  “So, no sex?”

  The pout in Tavros’s voice made Valis grin and roll over in the circle of his husband’s arms. He ran his hand teasingly down Tavros’s arm, tickling his fingers along his ribs, over his waist to rest his hand on his hip. “I never said that. We just have to be quick, so we can bathe and get food before we head to the healing ward.”

  Tavros’s eyes glittered with mischief. “I can be quick…”

  Sex with Tavros was rarely quick. But as Tavros lined their dicks up and grabbed them both with his callused hand, Valis’s breath hitched, and he moaned. This might not take as long as he thought.

  Tavros claimed Valis’s mouth in a hungry, possessive kiss as his hand stroked their cocks from root to tip. Valis mewled into his husband’s mouth, bucking his hips for more friction. As their tongues entwined, Valis let his hand roam, mapping out the hills and valleys of hard, defined muscles in Tavros’s back, gripping his rounded, muscular ass. He pulled Tavros closer, smiling into the kiss as his husband gasped, stealing the breath from Valis’s lungs.

  With the way their hips alternated in thrusting up into Tavros’s pumping hand, creating a delicious variance in friction, it didn’t take long for both of them to fall apart, moaning and panting against each other’s necks.

  Valis rested his forehead against Tavros’s as they fought to catch their breath. His heart stuttered when Tavros grinned, showing his slightly crooked teeth. Valis’s voice wavered as he whispered, “I love you.”

  Tavros tilted his head for a chaste, sweet kiss. “I love you, too.”

  Valis looked up and combed his fingers through Tavros’s shaggy black hair. Soulful cloud-gray eyes stared back at him, searching Valis’s face. He leaned in for one more kiss before brushing his knuckles across Valis’s cheek. “Come on. Let’s get bathed and dressed so you can go see Kerac.”

  It no longer surprised Valis that Tavros knew what he needed just by looking at him. He followed his lover into the lavatory, and after Tavros lovingly bathed him and helped him get dry and dressed after hastily bathing himself, they stopped for a quick lunch and were in the healing ward within an hour.

  Firil was already by Kerac’s bed when Valis walked in, Tavros close behind. “How is he?”

  Firil glanced back and smiled at them. “Better than he was last night, but still very weak and sick. I just finished medicating and feeding him.”

  Tavros rested a hand on the back of Valis’s neck and squeezed, relieving some of the tension that started building the moment they entered the ward. “How do you feed a sleeping man?” Tavros asked.

  Firil smiled and turned back to pull the covers up to Kerac’s chin. “The swallow reflex works whether you are asleep or awake, but I used a tube to inject his liquid meals directly into his stomach to ensure he wouldn’t aspirate it. He will be on a high-nutrition liquid diet for more than a week in my estimation, even if he wakes.”

  “Will you w
ake him today?” Valis asked.

  “No,” Firil said. “No, I do not believe that is wise. I would like to get more medication and food into him before I remove the sleep spell.”

  He stepped back and sat on a chair next to Kerac’s cot and started writing in a chart that he had resting on Kerac’s chest. “I must warn you, Valis. His recovery will be very slow. First, we must deal with the infections while rebuilding his tolerance to solid foods. Then we must work on his strength. He may need therapy to enable him to walk again based on how much muscle mass he has lost.”

  He turned his head and stared up into Valis’s eyes as Valis approached and buried his fingers in Kerac’s hair. “It is a miracle he made it home, Valis. He has suffered greatly. It appears he was tortured, so be wary. When he wakes, his mind may also be broken. With as sensitive as he was before he left, it may take years of therapy for him to regain any sense of normalcy.” Then he shrugged and went back to writing notes in Kerac’s chart. “With your care, he may pull through faster. We will have to wait and see.”

  “What can I do to help him?”

  Firil reached out with his free hand, still writing with the other, and squeezed Valis’s wrist. “Once I finish my notes, I will show you how to work his body. His muscles have atrophied for the most part. We were able to reverse most of it, but he will need his muscles worked at regular intervals to help him regain range of motion, and the strength to sit up on his own, and eventually stand and walk.”

  Valis inhaled a shaky breath and nodded, taking a seat in the chair Tavros brought over. He idly played with Kerac’s hair while Firil finished his notes, then helped as Firil showed him the exercises to put Kerac through. When they finished, Firil squeezed his shoulder and gave him a sad smile. “You can sit with him as long as you like, but I recommend going and doing other things with your day. Visit with your friends, get your own strength training done. There is nothing else to do for him at the moment but wait until his next feeding. His next exercise session isn’t scheduled until after dinner.”

  “We’ll stay a few minutes more,” Tavros said. He squeezed the back of Valis’s neck, then slid his hand over his shoulder to rest over his heart. “Then I’ll drag Valis out for a while. We’ll be back often, though.”

  Nodding, Firil headed for his office, Kerac’s file tucked under his arm. “Come as often as you wish. You will be bothering no one. Just don’t neglect your own needs, yes?”

  “Yes, sir,” Valis and Tavros said.

  Tavros only let Valis fuss over Kerac for half an hour, just long enough to brush out Kerac’s hair and braid it so it wouldn’t get knotted again while he was bedridden. After he finished, Tavros drew him out of the healing ward by his hand and paused outside the door. “Anything you want to do today other than hover over Kerac?”

  Valis smiled weakly at the tease and rested his forehead on Tavros’s broad shoulder while he thought. Then he drew in a deep breath through his nose. “I want to visit Aryn, see how he’s doing.”

  “Are you sure?” Tavros asked. He took a small step back and cupped Valis’s face in both of his hands, tilting up so they were eye-to-eye. “It hasn’t been very long…”

  Valis shivered as Tavros pressed a soft kiss to his lips and brushed their noses together. He closed his eyes and soaked in Tavros’s quiet love for a moment as he searched his heart for the truth. When he found the answer, he reached up and gently squeezed Tavros’s wrists and turned his face to press a kiss to one of his husband’s palms. “I’m sure. He wasn’t himself, Tav. I can’t believe that if he was in his right mind, if he was in control of himself, he would have hurt either of us. I can’t believe that. I won’t.”

  After a moment of staring into his eyes, Tavros acquiesced with a small nod. “I won’t give up on him, either. But I have to admit, I’m not in any hurry to see him yet.”

  “You don’t have to go,” Valis said. He closed his eyes and leaned into the comfort when Tavros kissed his forehead.

  “You’re not going anywhere alone today. You’ve been through too much since last night, barely slept, and I can’t stand the thought of you being out of my sight for more than fifteen minutes.” He gave Valis a small smile and pulled him into a tight hug, breathing out a sigh that tickled Valis’s left ear. “Seeing Kerac in that condition hit a little too close to home.”

  Valis nodded. He knew exactly how Tavros felt. Their future was set, at least it was in Valis’s mind. He had to find out where Darolen was, rescue him, and find the missing god jar to return it to the other nine. Tavros would be accompanying him, and he’d had nightmares all night about Tavros getting left behind, sending Valis home, half-dead on his horse while staying behind to keep fighting, dying only moments after Valis’s horse thundered away. Thankfully that dream didn’t feel precognitive.

  Precognitive or not, it left Valis feeling cold long after he thrashed awake, long after he woke up hours later to start the day, and even now, as Valis let out a shaky breath and tried to revel in Tavros’s intense warmth and love, that chill remained coiled tight about his spine.

  Valis did his best to shake off that feeling and gave Tavros a small smile. “Aryn might fight harder and do better in therapy to get well if we show him he’s still loved. We have to try.” He leaned in and kissed the tip of Tavros’s nose, making him scrunch it adorably. “And I wouldn’t want you anywhere else but by my side. I don’t know if I could visit him alone, anyway. It’s still… raw.”

  “It is for me, too,” Tavros whispered. “He and I used to be so close. I just… he’s my baby brother. I should love him, just like I used to. But I don’t know if I can after what he did.”

  Valis tugged on Tavros’s hand, drawing him down the hall toward the stairs that would take them to the prison. “That’s okay. If you can’t, you can’t. But, keep an open mind, and let him prove to you he’s worth it. If he can’t do that, then at least we tried.”

  “Yeah,” Tavros murmured softly. “Yeah. I can do that.”

  Once they made it to the Duty Captain’s office, Valis took a deep breath as they waited for Captain Girnas to finish his thoughts on whatever he was writing. When he looked up, he perked a brow. “You two look like you’re about to be led to your beheading. What’s going on?”

  Valis laced his fingers with Tavros’, squeezing his lover’s hand. “We want to visit Aryn Sadovin.”

  The Duty Captain shook his head. “Probably not a good idea. He’s been a little bastard of late, demanding to be released. Fairly certain that boy’s mind is gone.”

  Valis’s stomach dropped, but he swallowed down the nausea and nodded. “Even so, I’d like to see him, and I’ll be visiting him often.”

  Girnas smirked at him and waved to the two seats on the opposite side of his desk. “Have a seat. I’ll send guards down to fetch him.”

  The two Aesriphos guarding the door to the prison nodded and called to the other side, relaying the message, and Valis and Tavros settled in to wait.

  After about fifteen minutes according to the clock over the door, the two guards started unlocking the gate. “He is ready for you.”

  Valis and Tavros stood, their hands still linked. Valis took a steadying breath, then led Tavros through the door and followed the waiting Aesriphos to an interrogation room.

  “We will wait outside,” their escort said. “If you need anything, or have any trouble, let us know.”

  She unlocked the door, removing a large, heavy bar and swung the door open. Just as it had been with Roba, Valis’s birth father, Aryn was encased in a tiny cell that was too small for him to even sit down. He leaned against the back wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He wore the prison uniform of a gray tunic and matching loose pants. His black hair was slicked back and braided, the long braid draped over his shoulder to hang down near his stomach.

  As Valis and Tavros entered and took their seats, Aryn glanced over at them, his dark gray eyes dull and almost lifeless. “What do you want?”

  The door to th
e room boomed closed, making Valis wince. He waited until he and Tavros had taken their seats before replying, “I wanted to check on you and see how you’re doing. Have you begun therapy, yet?”

  Aryn rolled his eyes. “Why do you care?”

  “Because you were once my best friend, and I want my best friend back.” Valis kept his voice calm and steady, trying to fight back the tremor that wanted to come out. “If you do as you’re told, do well in therapy, you might not be in here as long as you think.” Valis shrugged and met Aryn’s steely stare. “While I won’t say what you did wasn’t your fault, I will say that mental illness played a large part in your actions toward Tavros and I, and if you try, we can all get past it.”

  Aryn drew in a shaky breath and blew it out. He lowered his eyes to the floor and hugged himself as he whispered, “I thought you hated me…”

  “Neither of us hate you,” Tavros said. He gripped Valis’s hand tight. “We want you to get better. We want you back, Aryn. I want my baby brother back. I miss you. We both do.”

  Twin tears dripped from Aryn’s eyes. He shrugged, wiped his face with the back of his hand. “I’ll try, okay?”

  “That’s all we can ask,” Valis said gently. “That’s really all you can do.”

  With a small nod, Aryn sagged further against the wall and wrinkled his nose, rubbing his eyes with one hand. “I feel different, too.”

  “I removed all the black magic from your system,” Valis said. “I also locked your gold away until you’re well enough to use it wisely.”

  Aryn’s lower lip wobbled. “I—I had black magic?”

  “You did,” Tavros murmured. “It was terrifying as fuck, too. At the end, even I had it, though a bit less than you had. Valis took care of that, too.”

  Aryn let out a shaky sigh and tossed his black braid over his shoulder, but it bounced off the wall and fell back onto his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t—” He cleared the squeak from his throat and tried again, “I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I was just… so… so jealous. I couldn’t think, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and the more I thought about it, the worse I got. I don’t even remember the last few weeks.”