Loyalty and War

by Devon Vesper

  “Of course, he did,” Tavros said. “That was the first thing he did after Brother Bachris made his displeasure known. He’s also given the groups an entire gold cache to split among them to gather supplies.”

  “Because, of course, Valis is going, sanction or not,” Maphias muttered. “Of course, he is.”

  “You’re not wrong,” Valis said on a sigh. “You know me too well.”

  Maphias raked both hands through his brown hair and leaned his elbows on his knees while still holding his head. “You’re going to end up getting expelled, Valis.”

  “I really don’t care, so long as I rescue Father and retrieve the lost god jar.” Valis looked around at each of his friends. “It’s true that I needed the monastery to get to where I am now, to be able to wield the magic I do, to have grown my power base, and to find my mate. But…” He shrugged and held his hands out to the sides before dropping them back to his lap again. “I don’t need the monastery to achieve my goals now. I just need the help of the men and women in it. I can’t do it alone, but I don’t necessarily need a sanctioned mission to complete my objectives.”

  He reached for the low table and tapped the neat stack of notes. “Each of these papers holds a message of support and the name of the supporter. Most of them are requesting the mission be sanctioned, yes. But they are also all willing to help me go above Brother Bachris’s head in the chain of command to bring the matter up to the Grand Master Aesriphos. We’re not done yet.”

  “I agree that it’s best to get it sanctioned,” Jedai said. “While you’re working on that, I can start recruiting from the layman warrior ranks. Maph and I have garnered quite a few allies.”

  “Laymen?” Valis tilted his head. “But—”

  Jedai cut him off with a hard stare. “Remember what I told you when we first started playing Harbinger’s Way? You need laymen. They pave the way, if for nothing more than to create diversions while you skirt around the enemy’s lines of awareness to reach your goal. We’re expendable, but we’re necessary. And,” he added, raising a finger, “most of your mercenaries are laymen, so don’t try to dodge that tactic.”

  Sighing, Valis leaned back into the loveseat’s cushions. “You have a point.”

  “Of course, I do.”

  “Then have them leave their names in here like the reliquary guards have started doing,” Valis said. “Once we have enough names, I’ll confront Brother Bachris again, and this time, he’ll either listen, or we will go over his head.”

  Valis frowned and stared at the stack of names. “I’m done playing around.”

  Once everyone calmed down, or, rather, once everyone calmed Valis down, Seza dragged everyone through the halls toward the prison. “I hear Aryn’s actually being good,” she said. “We should reward that with more visits, don’t you think?”

  “Absolutely,” Valis said. “Though, even if he wasn’t doing well, we should still visit him more often. I’ve been so wrapped up with preparing for this mission and getting it sanctioned that—and I hate to admit this—I’ve forgotten all about him for the past few days.”

  She glanced at him from over her shoulder and smiled. “It’s allowed, Valis. He’s not your priority right now, and you have friends who can remind you. That’s what we’ve done today, so don’t beat your own ass over it.”

  Valis chuckled and gave her a solemn nod. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Once they got into the room with the holding cell and the door boomed shut behind them, Valis stared at his friend and sighed. Aryn was too pale, still too skinny though it appeared he had gained at least some weight while he had been incarcerated. The dark circles had disappeared from beneath his eyes, but he still looked exhausted and like he was about ready to give up. Valis’s heart hurt for the boy, and when it was his turn in the line, he hugged Aryn through the bars as best he could and whispered, “Don’t you give up, Aryn. You’re stronger than this. Your incarceration is only temporary. Do you hear me?”

  Aryn sucked in a sob and nodded.

  “Is that face because we haven’t come to see you in a few days?”

  When Aryn’s expression crumpled, Valis cupped his face through the bars and sighed, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead. “I’m so sorry. Things have been so hectic, but we should have made time for you.”

  “It’s okay,” Aryn whispered. He used his braid to wipe his eyes and sniffled. “I—”

  “It’s not okay,” Valis stressed. “And we will do better.” He raised his voice just enough for the others to hear as he said, “Even if we can’t all come together, at least one of us will be here each day. Will that be better?”

  The boy’s shoulders dropped some of their tension and he nodded. “That would be great. Thank you.”

  “Now that that’s over, how is your therapy going?”

  Leaning back against the wall in his cell, Aryn scrubbed at his face with the neck of his prison uniform to dry the tears. “Sister Qisryn is my therapist. She’s her usual self, and it’s been going rather well. But… it’s hard. I didn’t know it would be this hard…”

  “Any kind of therapy is hard,” Seza said, though she kept her tone gentle. “Just think of what Kerac has to go through with his physical therapy to get his mobility back. And then there’s therapy to get his stomach strong enough for solid food again.” She shrugged. “It’s hard work, but like any work, it will pay off by the end.”

  “Sister Qisryn says my therapy may never end,” Aryn said in a small voice.

  “That doesn’t mean it won’t get easier,” Maphias said. “Just like with physical therapy. The more you do it, the easier it gets, but you’ll still benefit from it in the long run.”

  “I guess…”

  “No guessing about it, man.” Jedai tapped the bars with his large knuckles and smiled. “You won’t start believing it until you look back on all this and realize you actually have gotten better, and while you may not be fully recuperated, you’re stronger than you were, and you’ll have that huge boost to push you to reach higher.”

  Aryn snorted. “How do you figure?”

  Jedai shrugged and tapped his chest. “I used to be a tall, scrawny twig with large bones that made me look ridiculous. It was hard as anything, and I hated it. But I put myself through trials. I did the exercises. I did the dead-drag. I ran. I ate right. And I did all that twice—sometimes three times—a day for years and still do today. And, well… look at me.” He spread his arms wide, showing off his broad shoulders, biceps that strained his tunic, bulky chest, thick neck, and powerful thighs the loose uniform pants couldn’t hide. “I’m not a twig, and I actually enjoy exercise now. It will eventually be the same for you. Just you watch.”

  Aryn still looked dubious, but he stopped arguing and conceded to Jedai with a short nod. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “You’d better.”

  Valis smiled at his friends and rubbed his chest. For Aryn’s sake, he hoped the boy did well. And then a thought hit him. “Isn’t there anything positive you can think of about therapy? Something that you enjoy that you might not realize?”

  His friend frowned and glanced down toward his feet as he thought. Then Aryn lifted a shoulder. “She always brings me a sweet, or ‘sneaks’ me in a cup of tea, though we all know the guards know full well she’s got it.” He sighed and glanced around the room, not settling on anyone as if what he was about to say next was something he wasn’t proud of. “And she’s motherly. She’s always been nice to me, so I do kind of like spending time with her, even if she does ask me to do things that I don’t like.”

  “Like what?” Zhasina asked curiously.

  “Like going into details about my obsession with Valis, when I don’t know them, myself. Or talking about Tavros. Just… she asks questions I don’t always know the answer to, and when I do know the answers, she asks me to keep going, and… it’s horrible. It hurts.”

  Valis went up to the bars again and reached inside, taking hold of Aryn’s hand, making the boy look
up at him. “Did you ever ask her why she does that, why she asks those questions?”

  Aryn shook his head and bit his lip. “No. I figured it was punishment.”

  “Oh, Gods, no, Aryn,” Seza said. “No, no, no. It’s not punishment. She’s trying to help you get everything out so you can work through it. You can’t work through a problem if you don’t know what the problem is. She’s trying to help you find it so you can solve it. She’s guiding you, not punishing you. I promise, Aryn. She would never do such a thing.”

  “I think that should be your assignment for your next therapy session with her,” Maphias said. “Ask her to explain what she’s doing and why. Because, the more you understand, the less you fight against change. It’s always been like that since you came to the monastery. From getting up earlier to taking on new duties, you’ve always needed a reason to change.”

  Aryn cringed but nodded. “Yeah… You’re right.”

  “I know I am, you shit. I still remember that black eye you gave Tav your first morning.”

  Tavros snorted and rubbed at his eye. “I remember that, too. It wasn’t pleasant. I just wanted to hug my baby brother, but he punched me with his tiny, bony fist, instead.”

  Valis wasn’t sure, but he thought he heard Aryn huff a small laugh. He glanced over, and Aryn’s lips twitched as if he was trying to suppress a smile. Valis wanted to see a real smile, so he said, “Serves you right for sneaking up on a sleeping man. Ever heard of knocking. Some big brother you were.”

  Aryn covered a giggle with his hand and shook his head. “Oh, he knocked. I just refused to answer, hoping he’d go away. Then he came in and leaned over the bed for the hug, saying ‘Good morning!’ in this annoyingly bright, cheerful voice. It irritated me because I was still exhausted, and the knock gave me a slight panic attack, so when he tried for that hug, I did the only thing I could think of to get him to back off.”

  “It worked, damn it,” Tavros muttered. “I’ve never touched him to wake him up since. I usually throw something at his head if he’s needed before his normal waking time.”

  “Are your roommates good?” Valis asked. “Do they leave you alone?”

  “Ugh.” Aryn covered his face with both hands and groaned. “I had a panic attack my first night because I was in with three other men, and they wouldn’t shut up and kept leering at me. So they put me in solitary. I… admit I like it better. It’s the same kind of cell, just smaller and with a single cot. It doesn’t have a bench like the multi-person cells, but I don’t mind sitting on the bed, and there’s enough room to move a bit.”

  He sighed and looked up to the ceiling. “I just wish they would give me something to read. I’m so bored in there.”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” Valis said. “That’s a reasonable request. I don’t see them denying it.”

  “Really?” And Gods, the hope in Aryn’s eyes and voice shot Valis right through the chest, making his breath hitch.

  “Yeah,” he said. “Really.”

  “I know what kind of books you like,” Aenali said. She shoved her way to the front so Aryn could see her. “I’ll pick out two each day, and give them to the Duty Captain, and collect the ones you’ve read to take back to the library.”

  “Thanks, ‘Nali.” He blew a breath through his nose and glanced from one set of eyes to another. “Thank you all. But… why haven’t they called time yet?”

  Valis grinned. “The reliquary guards who guard the prison on rotation are in my class in the mornings as my students. I asked for extra time, and they didn’t argue.”

  “You clever man.”

  Winking, Valis grinned. “Less clever, more resourceful.” He stood up to his full height from where he was slouched down against the bars. “But, our time really is up. We should be heading up to get our afternoon duties done before dinner. Someone, though, will be by to see you tomorrow if all of us can’t come.”

  “Thank you.” Aryn’s eyes filled with tears and he clutched at the bars. “Thank you…”

  “Get better,” Valis said, covering one of Aryn’s hands. “Get better and get out of here. We’ll all be waiting for you, brother. Always.”

  When they left, Tavros pulled him close, wrapping an arm about his waist. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For giving my baby brother hope. I don’t think I could have done it.”

  “We all need some hope,” Valis murmured against his jaw, then kissed it. “If I have to, I’ll have enough hope for us all.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ever since they got back to Valis’s room, Valis couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that he was missing something. But as he progressed through his duties, that nagging feeling started moving from his chest down to his gut. Was it gas? Did he have a massive amount of trapped wind? It didn’t rumble in his gut, so he doubted it. One could hope though.

  And then the pitting started. Ah, there it was. Valis groaned as he doubled over. He didn’t miss that sensation whatsoever, and when Tavros rubbed the back of his neck, Valis almost wished he’d take a hint and guided Valis toward a bed where he could curl up in the fetal position.

  “Gods, Valis. Are you ill?”

  “I wish,” Valis gasped between gulps of air. “Precognitive pitting. Gods, I forgot how much it hurts.”

  “They don’t usually double you over like this,” Tavros said. “It’s that bad?”

  “Not quite.” Valis slowly rose to a somewhat more upright position and clutched at his gut. “It just took me by surprise. I thought I’d had gas.”

  Tavros erupted with peals of laughter until he leaned against the wall and wheezed. “Only you,” he croaked. He cleared his throat and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Only you could think precognitive feelings are possible farts. Shit, Valis.”

  Valis shoved Tavros back into that wall. “Asshole.” That just made Tavros laugh again. Unable to help himself, Valis started chuckling, too, and snatched Tavros’s hand, trailing him behind like a banner in the wind on his way to the dining hall.

  Even with the pitting dropping his gut through the floor, having this lighthearted moment felt amazing after all the anger and tension Valis had wrapped around himself the last few days. Laughing felt amazing, and he felt good going to dinner, like he might actually enjoy his food and his friends without his problems swamping him, precognitive pitting be damned.

  Heading into the dining hall, Valis’s stomach dropped through the floor again, and Tavros gripped his arm to keep him from falling on his face. “You okay, love?”

  “It’s getting worse.”

  “You shouldn’t ignore it,” he murmured, guiding Valis toward the serving line.

  “I have no other choice.” He shrugged, picked up a tray and started filling it with food, though not the mountain he usually ate. If his gut was going to keep doing this, he didn’t want to waste a ton of food, and he could always come back for more.

  “And I hate that you have no other choice,” Tavros muttered. “It isn’t fair that you get precognitive feelings and can’t do anything about them.”

  “Tell me about it.” Valis huffed and filled his mug with spiced milk, grabbed a set of utensils, and led the way to their table to join their friends.

  Once he sat down, he doubled over and almost planted his face in his pile of mashed potatoes. His friends all stared at him wide-eyed, and all Valis could do was give them a small smile. “I’m okay. Or, I will be eventually.”

  “Precognitive pitting,” Tavros told the group. “Too bad it’s not a vision so we could do something about it.”

  Valis groaned. That was the last thing he wanted. Falling into a vision was something he didn’t ever want to do at the dinner table. But he had to admit that Tavros was right. If he could see what was coming, the pitting might stop.

  He got halfway through his meal when Seza gasped. “Oh, fuck.”

  “What is it?” Valis asked. He glanced up at her and that pitting sensation nearly made him lose his dinner. He swallowed hard to keep his food down. W
hen he glanced over his shoulder to see what Seza was staring at, his stomach tried to rebel again.

  Brother Bachris stormed through the room, his expression twisted with fury and his eyes locked onto Valis with such intensity that Valis wondered if he would soon burst into flames under that glare.

  “Valis.” His name from Brother Bachris’s mouth sounded like an explosion. “I would like to speak with you. Now.”

  Thankfully, Valis was mostly done eating. His stomach couldn’t handle much more with the precognitive feelings trying to send everything back up. But he’d have liked to spend more time with his friends. Still, Brother Bachris looked like he wouldn’t wait, no matter what excuse Valis tried to make.

  “Get up, boy,” he demanded, his voice hard and loud. “Don’t just sit there and stare. Come with me and be quick about it.”

  Tavros jumped to his feet, sending his chair skidding back with such force that it toppled over with a loud clatter of wood on stone. He rounded on Brother Bachris, his face in a determined scowl. “This is bullshit, Brother. If you’re going to talk to Valis, you will do it after he has finished eating, and you will do it with civility. Do you understand? He isn’t a dog. He is a person, and he is a respected mentor of this monastery’s elite forces. He deserves enough respect for you to ask for a damned meeting. You don’t just come into a crowded dining hall and spike his fucking anxiety by loudly demanding his obedience in front of his peers. Have you gone mad?”

  Brother Bachris narrowed his eyes at Tavros, but before he could speak, Valis grabbed Tavros’s wrist and tugged until his husband looked down at him. Every eye was on them, and Valis had to appear in control and unaffected. “Calm down, Tav. It’s fine.”

  “It is not fine! I’m tired of him treating you like you’re nothing.”

  It took effort, but Valis managed to keep his thankful, affectionate smile from his face. “I know. We’ll deal with it. Let’s just go and hear him out.”

  Valis remained seated for only a breath more before he stood and followed Brother Bachris out into the hall. The moment he left the entry to the dining hall, the Patron Priest started in on him as if Tavros hadn’t just tore him down in the dining hall.