Clown Niggas

by T. Styles

  “Ryan, if you took the picture and cut off the dick just to get put back on my blocks I’ll hand you an “L” after I finish my drink. Other than that I’ll have your paper for the job in the morning.”

  Ryan stared at him intensely but Wyld was too focused on his next glass of lemonade to pay him any attention. It was Spyrit who saw Ryan’s vengeful expression and was more frightened for Wyld’s well being than ever.

  Ryan moved snail-like toward the door. Gripping the knob he was on his way out until he turned toward Wyld when he heard his name. His arms hung at his sides, his posture stooped and not as confident as before. In that moment Ryan wanted nothing more than for Wyld to say he was sorry. And if he chose to utter those powerful words, Ryan would forgive him for every perceived indiscretion.

  “Yeah,” Ryan said.

  “Take your dick, since it’s obvious by cutting it off you on that faggy shit.”

  Ryan was gut punched again. And yet, Wyld’s poisoned words gave him the energy to stand straight and stare at Wyld with hate filled eyes. Anger had a way of giving a person a reason to go on, even if going on meant violently.

  But instead of getting the bag, he looked at Wyld, laughed and walked out the door.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Amelia

  “I Wish You Would Let Me In.”

  “Wow, you must like your females chubby,” Amelia said as she sat across the table from Wyld in a dark cozy restaurant. Her stomach swollen after eating so much good food. “And it’s working too.”

  “Why you say I want you fat?” He chuckled as he forked through some macaroni and cheese.

  “Because all you want to do is go out and eat.” She paused. “I don’t know if you realize it but I have southern girl tendencies. I’m good with an occasional night on the town and then chilling at home.”

  He nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind. But ain’t nothing wrong with taking care of my new friend either.” He winked. “Not sure how the men were that you dealt with in the past but when I like someone I let them know.”

  She put the fork down and it clinked against the plate as she looked over at his handsome red face. Wyld was the most perfect man she’d ever seen in her life and she couldn’t believe she envisioned herself being with him and he was sitting before her. She heard of the law of attraction many times while in recovery but seeing her work now, and how she willed him to her life, she was floored.

  “Do you like me, Wyld? I mean do you like spending time with me as much as I do you?”

  He smiled. “I can’t say how you feel about me or if it’s the same. I don’t have access to your mind but I wish I did.” He grinned. “I will say this, I move slow. Mainly because there’s no woman I loved more than my wife and it’ll be hard trying to come behind her.”

  She nodded although it hurt learning that she would have so much work to do to win him over. “What was it about her? That you liked the most.”

  He exhaled. “She knew the worst and still she stayed. People say they’d be willing to stick by you when things get rough but most don’t have it in them. It’s not even like they don’t want to. Some will give it a good try but at the end of the day it takes a special kind of person to stick by your side no matter what. So that when you find that person you should do all you can to never let them go. And I lost my woe.”

  “Did you find out who murdered her?”

  His tone was flat. “I don’t talk about those things. Let’s just say the investigation is still pending.”

  She looked down at her hands. “Can you tell me more about her?”

  He smiled, although out of pity. Most women wanted to learn what the other woman did to win a man over and for the moment it appeared that Amelia was no different. “I’m not gonna get into what she did to make me fall in love. I’ll just say that no matter who I’m with or who I care about she will always be in my heart.”

  She reached across the table and touched the top of his hand. “I don’t mean to pry. And I know it doesn’t seem true. It’s just that I wish I knew more about you. I wish…I wish you would let me in. Every time I ask you anything about yourself it’s like you hang up the phone. In a manner of speaking anyway.” She released her hold.

  “I need time, Amelia. And I know with the Internet and being able to get things when you want it’s hard to understand but it’s how I operate in life and in relationships.”

  She sat back. “Of course, Wyld. I didn’t mean it that way. Whatever you want. I just want to be with you.”

  Wyld’s cell phone rang and he frowned when he looked down at the screen. Amelia noticed at how the caller, whoever it was, put him in an instant sour mood. He pressed the phone against his ear. “What, Ryan?” His eyes widened as the call continued. “When? Why didn’t anybody tell me?” Pause. “I’m on my way.” He ended the call.

  “Is everything okay?” Amelia’s eyebrows rose.

  “I’m sorry, beautiful but I have to take you home.”

  Wyld drove about 70 mph as he took Amelia home and there were many moments when she thought she wouldn’t arrive alive. Finally, twenty minutes later he pulled in front of the brick house she lived where she rented a modest sized room. He hadn’t said a word to her the entire ride and for a while she thought she did something wrong. And then he uttered, “I’ll call you later. As soon as I can.”

  “Sure.” She nodded. “I just hope everything’s okay.”

  He winked and when she eased out of the car and stood on the curb he sped off. Had she fucked him she would’ve felt some kind of cheap but luckily for herself she hadn’t served him the pussy.

  With the crickets sounding in the background of the quiet neighborhood, Amelia continued to stare at Wyld’s Benz until it was out of sight. Taking a deep breath she moped toward her front door. She considered her date to be uneventful at best until Ryan stepped his weird ass out of the bushes.

  Now things turned to the horrified side.

  Ryan sat on a step, adjusted his jeans, scratched his wolverine style hair bush and patted the cool concrete next to him. “I would love it if you sat next to me. Love it a lot actually.”

  Amelia’s heart thumped in her eardrum and she wondered if he could hear it. “I really want to go inside and get cleaned up. It’s been a long—”

  “Sit the fuck down! I ain’t got nothing to do with you letting that nigga stuff you full of cum.”

  She was startled into submission. Slowly she walked over to him and sat on the seat up from his, so that she had a slight height advantage and could look downward.

  It didn’t matter. He was crazy.

  “Your face has kept me up most nights.” He looked out into the evening. “So many that it finally came to me.” He gazed at her. “You and I had a past. Didn’t we? I mean, if I asked around what would the streets tell me about you?”

  “You…I….”

  “Tongue tied, huh?”

  “What do you want with me, Ryan?” She exhaled, attempting to regain control. “I’m not trying to cause trouble. All I want is to get to know your cousin.”

  He nodded and readjusted his penis, which hung on the side inside his jeans because he wasn’t wearing boxers or underwear. “I just want to know one thing, Amelia. Do you love my cousin? Or are you like the others? Just playing him for his money?”

  She positioned herself to look directly into his eyes. Hoping that if she did so she would appeal to his heart. “Yes…very much. And I know I just met him but in the short time nobody has ever made me feel so good.”

  He stopped the glare, which wanted to expose itself on his face with a half smile. “What does it feel like?”

  “Love?”

  He nodded yes.

  Amelia turned around to look out into the street. In the distant she could hear a small dog barking and heavy laughter from her next-door neighbors as they ate dinner in their backyard. “It’s hard to describe. I will say it’s warm. Protective. Exhilarating.” She looked at him. “You feel like everything you’
ve gone through in life is okay because someone out there cares about you.”

  His face reddened with envy. “You sound serious about this nigga.”

  She nodded. “I am.”

  “Does he feel the same?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. Wyld likes to move slowly and I have to move the same or I’ll push him away.” She paused. “Have you ever been…in love?”

  “I don’t know that I can love. My mind won’t allow me to trust that way.”

  “In what way?”

  He turned his head so that he could stare into her soul. The tips of his weird haircut made him look as if he had wide horns. “Foolishly.”

  “I don’t think it’s foolish.”

  “I know you don’t. That's the innocence of it all. And it’s also why love is dangerous. It blinds and causes people to release their guards.”

  She looked down at her hands and back at him. “Are you sure I’m the person you think I am? Because I don’t remember you.”

  He laughed and stood up before repositioning his body so that he stood over her. Now he had the height advantage. He placed his thumb on her bottom lip but her teeth blocked entry as he tried to dip it onto the warmth of her tongue. “Open your mouth, bitch.” She did and tears filled her eyes. “Suck it.”

  Although grossed out, slowly her tongue slithered around his thumb. And when she gazed down at his crotch she saw his penis growing in his jeans like fresh baked bread.

  “I don’t know who you are. Not yet anyway. But there will come a time and very soon where I will need a favor. And when I call you better answer.” He paused. “You do that beautiful, Amelia and whatever secrets I discover will remain safe.”

  He winked, removed his thumb and walked away.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “Never Make The Mistake Of Judging A Person’s Past To Dictate The Future.”

  The heat was on high inside of E.M.’s house and although tucked under the sheets in the bedroom she was still cold. The flu was threatening to take her down for a few more weeks at the very least.

  Wyld fed her the last spoonful of the chicken soup he brought over and looked at her lovingly. While Spyrit stood against the wall staring down at them, also worried about his beloved proverbial mother.

  “I still don’t know why this extra attention is necessary,” E.M. said. “I’ve had the flu for days and am fine. You know I don’t like it when you boys fuss over me. You are busy and have your own lives.”

  “You could’ve told me you were sick, E.M.,” Wyld said firmly. “I don’t care if it’s a few days or one. You could’ve said something.”

  “She didn’t want you to know,” Spyrit said scratching his face, a beer can in his other hand. “Which is why I don’t understand why Ryan told you in the first place. Where is the nigga anyway?”

  Wyld shook his head. “I have no idea. And the less I see him these days the better.”

  “Makes no sense that he called you is all I’m saying,” Spyrit said. “He acted like she was dying or something.”

  E.M. waved the air. “You know Ryan favors the dramatics. He came over earlier and my fever was high. We called my doctor and he said I may be hospitalized if the temperature didn’t go down. Maybe that’s why he called.”

  Spyrit shook his head. “I don’t know about all that. I think he has something else going on and I’m getting sick of him.”

  E.M. looked at both of them and suddenly it was as if she was seeing them for the first time. “What’s going on? With the three of you?”

  Wyld and Spyrit looked at one another and then at her. “I made a mistake of playing a little too much with Ryan one day and he still mad. Acting like a female and shit.” Wyld said. “To tell you the truth I forgot all about it until Spyrit reminded me the other day. Every time I fix my mind to apologize he does something else.”

  She sighed. “Son, if you can help it, never let the sun go down on an apology. It has a tendency to shape into the worst monster.”

  Wyld nodded, knowing what she was saying was true. “Maybe sooner than later I’ll say something to him. But I’m not feeling him at the moment.”

  Spyrit laughed. “It’s too late for that apology, man. You messed that up.” He sipped his beer. “For now we need to focus on E.M. and make sure she’s okay. If this fever doesn’t break I think we’ll have to take her to the hospital. Like the doctor said.”

  “Fellas, I’m fine,” E.M. interjected, sensing the situation was about to grow dire. “And please…don’t fuss over me. You know I hate it.”

  “You heard her, gentlemen,” Dick said walking inside the room. “Dr. Feel Good is here to take care of his woman and save the day. All others are officially relieved.” He joked.

  Wyld gave him dap while Spyrit nodded for his greeting.

  “Alright, E.M., I’m gonna leave you kids to it. I’ll be by tomorrow to check on you,” Wyld said as he kissed her on the forehead and tucked the sheet under her chin. “But I will be calling a few times during the day to make sure you good.”

  Spyrit peeled himself off the wall. “I’m leaving too. I’m supposed to take Quaykiesha to the movies even though I don’t feel like it.”

  “You better take that girl out,” E.M. warned. “Before you be sulking around when she doesn’t answer your calls again.”

  Embarrassed, Spyrit eased out and followed behind Wyld, knowing what E.M. said was true.

  In their absence Dick sat on the bed and removed his clothing before easing behind her in spoon fashion. Because he ate so badly, his liver was overworked causing his body to be extremely hot. Still, she nestled her back deeper into him and sighed. Loving his attention.

  “What’s the story with them boys?” He paused. “I mean you have a lot of kids over here but it seems that you favor them the most.”

  “They are young black men, Dick. Without direction. Part of the reason our race is taking a hit now is because we’ve given up on our own people, particularly black men and I’m not doing that with them.”

  “Whoa, I asked you one question. The answer you gave me made it sound like you’re running for office or something.”

  She giggled then coughed. “I’m sorry. Just speaking from the heart is all.”

  “It’s okay, it’s just that I need to know why they here all the time, Beverly. Don’t you deserve your happiness and privacy too?”

  “I have both with the boys in my life. And whether you know it or not they are my kids, Dick.”

  “No, Bev, they were already parented, although in a fucked up way. Them niggas who be coming around here are grown ass men. And at this point there is nothing else you can do for them but let ‘em fly out the nest.”

  She turned her body to look into his eyes. She was sick and highly contagious as she breathed outward but he didn’t care. “When I met you at church I told you who I was. Hell, everyone did. I explained to you that I’m called to help these young men and still you wanted me. Why you changing up now?”

  He snuggled closer to her. “Of course I want you. And as good as this pussy is you can’t throw me away if you tried. But Beverly, you are in a relationship now and you have to respect that also. I want to be alone sometime without having to run into grown men in the process.”

  She laughed. “Those young men need me, Dick. I can’t back out on them now.”

  “And how do you think that makes me feel?”

  She sighed. “Please don’t.”

  “I’m serious, you’ve already chosen them over me. And Ryan is the most dangerous. He’s all but threatened me without saying the words. I feel unsafe with you around him when I’m not home. If you ask me he wants to fuck you.”

  “Disgusting!”

  “Beverly, open your eyes. I know that illness that resulted in you not being able to have kids has you looking for love in other places but you must be careful. Those boys are not your sons.”

  “Dick, please don’t.”

  “I’m serious. What is the history on them boy
s anyway? And why do they hate each other? I haven’t been around much but I feel the tension between them.”

  “What I was told I believe is a lie.”

  “Well I still want to hear it.”

  She sighed. “I was told in middle school that the three of them were ridiculed for having drug addicted mothers. And although Wyld’s mother was not as bad, he got it the most for being associated with Spyrit and Ryan and for being willing to fight for them.” She paused. “This continued on into high school where the three were constantly bullied.

  “How old are they now?” Dick asked.

  “All are in their late twenties I believe.”

  She sighed. “Anyway, although Wyld was tough and Spyrit was strong, Ryan not so much. The beatings inflicted on these boys as teenagers were harsh and Wyld decided he wasn’t going to deal with it anymore. So he told his cousins it was time to fight back and they put a plan into action.

  “The next day at school Wyld attacked the leader of the bullies,” she continued. “Spyrit stood with him as the crowd closed in but Ryan shit in his pants and was so fearful he ran home. Leaving his family alone to fend for themselves.”

  Dick laughed.

  She frowned. “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing…it’s just amazing how he can be so tough in front of me but history says otherwise.”

  “Every serial killer at some point was tormented. How do you think they developed their lust for blood?” She paused. “Never make the mistake of judging a person’s past to dictate the future. It could mean your life.”

  He sighed. “Go ‘head with the story, Beverly.” He frowned.

  “Anyway, after this fight, Wyld and Spyrit went about life, not really speaking to Ryan but not really hating him either. Still the group of bullies wanted revenge so a plan was hatched to attack Wyld and Spyrit the following day. Except when the crowd closed in on Wyld and Spyrit they were shocked to see Ryan on the enemy’s side. But there he was all the same, betraying his family and even fought Wyld and Spyrit with the mob.”