The Way to Her Heart

by Amy Reece

  “You’re not ridiculous. I’m going to miss you too.”

  “Oh, I hope you’re busy learning so much you don’t have time to miss your old mom. Now say good-bye to Bernie while I fix my face.” She fished in her purse for a tissue.

  She loved how he pulled her into his arms with no awkwardness at all.

  “Take care of her while I’m gone, okay? She’s having a rough time with this,” he whispered against her hair.

  “Sure. I’ll spend extra time with her.”

  “Thanks, Bernie. Maybe you two can have another Buffyfest or something.” He pulled back and looked into her face. “Remember what you promised?”

  She rolled her eyes and nodded. “Yes. I remember.”

  “Yeah, okay. Good. I gotta go.” He sighed and looked over his shoulder at his mother. He turned back to Bernie and bent to brush her lips lightly with his. “Bye, Bernie. Be safe.” Then he spun away and joined the stream of other passengers rushing to get through security and on to their gates.

  She watched him weave through the line until she couldn’t see him anymore.

  Claire snaked her arm around Bernie’s waist and leaned her head on her shoulder. “We’re gonna miss him, huh?”

  Bernie hugged her back and nodded.

  “Let’s stop for breakfast, okay? I don’t feel like going home yet. The house is going to be too empty.”

  They ate at a little diner near the airport. Bernie ordered enchiladas and eggs and frowned at Claire when she tried to order only coffee.

  “Fine. I’ll have the eggs Benedict special. Happy?” Claire groused as she handed the menu to the waitress.

  “I’m just making sure you eat. I promised Josh I’d take care of you.”

  “He worries too much. But thank you. I’ll try not to be so high maintenance this week.” She was silent while the waitress delivered Bernie’s orange juice. “You and Josh have become really good friends.”

  “Is that a question?”

  “No. Merely an observation.” Claire sipped her coffee and looked around at the other diner patrons. “You’re good for him, you know.”

  “I am?” She didn’t think she’d ever been good for anyone. What did that even mean?

  “This has been a really tough year for him, Bernie.”

  “For you too,” Bernie whispered.

  Claire nodded. “But he’s better since he met you. Thank you.”

  Bernie gulped, not sure how to respond. What would Claire think if she knew how Bernie really felt about Josh? She was pretty sure Claire would not appreciate the direction her thoughts often took when she looked at him. “Maybe we’re good for each other.”

  Claire smiled. “There’s no maybe about it.”

  ***

  The week crawled by without him. Bernie and Claire had started with a bang, ordering Chinese food and binge-watching Buffy, but by Tuesday they couldn’t seem to dredge the will to do anything organized. By Thursday they were eating cereal—no milk since they’d run out and neither felt like stopping on the way home.

  “God, we’re pathetic. You may not tell Josh we nearly starved to death while he was gone!” Claire set the unappetizing dry cereal on a side table.

  “My lips are sealed.”

  “I could order pizza,” Claire suggested, not sounding at all thrilled.

  “No thanks, unless you want it.”

  “Not really. I could go for some ice cream, though.”

  “I think there’s some in the freezer.”

  “Then why are we sitting here eating dry cereal?” Claire gathered their bowls and led the way to the kitchen. They found half a carton of mint chocolate chip, and Bernie split it between two bowls, reserving a small amount for Freddie. “You’re not messing around, huh?”

  “Nope. We get more since it’s a meal. That’s how it works.”

  “I like the way you think. Let’s watch a Bradley Cooper movie. And not the one where he’s a raccoon. I need eye candy.”

  ***

  Bernie worked all day Friday, and she was exhausted. She’d put in long hours all week, happy to spend her spring break earning extra money for the big initial payment she owed Maurice for the apartment. The long hours made the time without Josh go by faster. That’s what she told herself. Her move-in date was scheduled for the following week, barring any delays from the contractors. Tonight she was looking forward to a quiet evening in front of the television with Freddie. Josh would be home late Saturday, and Bernie couldn’t wait. Her phone vibrated with a message as she was locking up.

  Natalia: Im on my way 2 pick u up. Ur at work, right?

  She sighed in irritation. She had absolutely no desire to spend the evening partying with Natalia and her friends.

  Bernie: Cant 2nite. Sorry.

  The phone rang approximately six seconds after she sent the message. She didn’t even have to look at the caller ID. “Hey, Nat. Sorry I can’t go tonight. I promised—”

  “It’s important, Bernie. It’s at the same place as the night Gabby disappeared. I know you’re still trying to figure out what happened to her. The guy who lives there was really coming on to her that night. But if you don’t care…”

  Bernie sighed again in frustration. “Yeah, okay. I guess I should talk to him. Where is this place?”

  “I’ll pick you up. I’m about two blocks away.”

  “I’ll just follow you. I want to be able to leave early.”

  “There’s not very much parking. Just let me pick you up, Bernie! We can leave whenever you want, okay? I’m almost there.”

  “All right. Fine. But I’m exhausted and don’t plan to stay out late.”

  “No problem,” Natalia assured her.

  Bernie clicked off and finished locking up. She decided not to text Claire since she planned to be home early. She only had to wait about a minute before Natalia and Sofia screeched into the parking lot. She reached for the front door handle but noticed Sofia was sitting in the front passenger seat. Bernie frowned; what did it remind her of? She puzzled over the random thought as she got in the backseat.

  “I’m so glad you decided to come!” Natalia gushed. She barely waited until Bernie had shut the door before accelerating so fast she was pressed against the seat. Bernie swore to herself she would never catch a ride with Natalia again.

  “So, what’s this guy’s name who was coming on to Gabby? Does he go to our school? Do I know him?”

  “Um, no. I don’t think you know him. He’s kind of a creeper. I just heard about this party like an hour ago and I remembered this guy and I thought you might want to question him.”

  Bernie closed her eyes wearily, trying to decipher Natalia’s rambling statement. “I might ask him a few questions, but I wouldn’t call it ‘questioning.’”

  “Huh. My mistake.”

  They rode in silence for the remainder of the trip across town. Bernie actually dozed off, waking as Natalia pulled into a parking spot directly across the street from the house that was obviously hosting the party. Bernie swallowed her irritation over Natalia’s overstatement of the parking dilemma and followed the two girls up the walk.

  Inside, music was blaring and people were engaged in a variety of activities, most holding what Bernie assumed were alcoholic beverages. The average age of the partygoers struck her as older than high school, and it made her faintly uncomfortable for some reason. She turned to ask Natalia about it but found herself standing alone. Great. How am I going to figure out who this guy is who was scamming on Gabby?

  She found her way to the kitchen but didn’t see any nonalcoholic options. She was starving, so she helped herself to a handful of chips to tide her over until she got home to some real food. She wished Josh were here. She had no idea how to go about chatting people up like he had at the last party. She realized she had some level of social anxiety, but the realization didn’t help much at the moment. She ate the last of the potato chips, brushed the crumbs off on her jeans, and went forth to do battle, social anxiety be damned. Her
best bet would be to find Natalia and/or Sofia and get them to introduce her to the host.

  “Hi. You here alone?” The speaker was a dark-haired guy who looked to be in his early twenties and had a friendly smile on his face.

  “Um, no. I came with some friends, but they seem to have disappeared.” She looked around vaguely and shrugged.

  “Bummer. I’m Ben, by the way. You want something to drink?”

  “Oh, no thanks.” She was pleased when he simply nodded and continued to chat in a friendly way. He didn’t give her any creepy vibes, so she decided to see if she could solicit his help. “I’m Bernie. Hey, do you know the guy who lives here?”

  “Cory? Yeah, I know him. Why?”

  That didn’t sound right. Diego had told her a different name, she was almost sure, but she couldn’t remember it. “Could you introduce me to him? I think he knew a friend of mine.” She smiled in what she hoped was a charming way.

  It must have worked because he smiled and stepped a bit closer. “Sure. He’s around here somewhere.” He gestured for her to follow him. “Bernie, huh? That’s an unusual name.”

  She smiled crookedly and shrugged, not wanting to explain her full name to this stranger. They worked their way through the various rooms in the large house, stopping to chat with quite a few people. Ben was obviously popular and seemed happy to introduce his new acquaintance around. Nearly everyone was friendly, and Bernie was forced to rethink her earlier sense of discomfort.

  They were talking to a group in the living room when the front door opened to admit several new guests, including Diego. He stopped when he noticed Bernie and gave her a smile, which looked more like a grimace.

  “Hey, Bernie. What’s up? I haven’t seen much of you lately.”

  “Hi, Diego.” She was still embarrassed by the way things had turned out on their last date. She knew she had used him and didn’t like how it made her feel. She was relieved when he moved on.

  They finally found their host in the den. “There he is.” Ben put his hand at the small of Bernie’s back and led her forward. “Hey, Cory. This is Bernie. She says you know a friend of hers.”

  A young man around Ben’s age stood and shook Bernie’s hand with a friendly grin. She didn’t see any sign of the creeper Natalia had called him but decided to reserve judgment. “Hi. What’s your friend’s name?”

  “Gabby Rodriguez.”

  “Hmm. Doesn’t ring a bell.” He appeared to think. “What does she look like? Is she here tonight?”

  Bernie narrowed her eyes, trying to discern if this Cory was telling the truth. She wasn’t very good at judging people, but he seemed sincere. “No, she’s not here. She’s dead. She was murdered.”

  “No shit? Wow. No, I don’t think I ever met her.” He appeared concerned. “Hey, is that the body they found a couple months ago in the arroyo?”

  Bernie nodded, unable to speak. His bald statement had brought it all back suddenly.

  “She was your friend, huh? I’m really sorry. Well, I don’t know who told you I knew her, but I’m pretty sure we never met. Have they figured out what happened?”

  “She was my friend. Thanks. No, they haven’t figured anything out.” She was livid with Natalia for lying to her and manipulating her into coming to this party. What was her game? Bernie was so tired she could hardly think straight and she just wanted to get home. “Sorry I bothered you.” She turned to leave, determined to find Natalia and Sofia and make them take her home.

  “Hey, where are you going?” Ben had followed her as she headed off to search for the girls.

  “I need to find my, uh, the people I came with.” She refused to call them “friends” after tonight. “They’re my ride.”

  “I’ll take you home,” he offered.

  She was tempted by the expediency of the offer but hesitated. She didn’t know him, nor did she know how much he’d had to drink before she met him. She was considering calling a cab, regardless of the expense, when Sofia appeared at her side.

  “There you are! We’ve been looking all over for you. We have to go. Nat’s mom called and told her to come home. Are you ready?” She made it sound as if the entire evening had been a favor to Bernie.

  Bernie was so irritated she couldn’t say anything. She nodded tersely and turned to Ben. “It was nice to meet you. Thanks for introducing me to everyone.”

  “My pleasure.” He pulled her slightly away from Sofia. “Can I get your number? I’d love to see you again.”

  Bernie was flattered enough to give it to him. Her heart belonged to Josh, but she didn’t hold out much hope he’d ever return her feelings. Ben was attractive and she had enjoyed spending time with him this evening.

  “Come on, Bernie! Nat’s already in trouble.”

  Bernie rolled her eyes at Sofia’s dramatic tone. “Fine. I’m ready.” She mumbled under her breath that she’d been ready for over an hour and she’d never wanted to come in the first place. Once in the backseat of Natalia’s car, she leaned her head against the headrest and closed her eyes, unable to pretend anymore.

  “Anyone want water?” Sofia’s grating voice penetrated Bernie’s fogginess.

  “Yeah, thanks.” She hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since before noon except the handful of salty potato chips, which had left her parched. She accepted the bottle Sofia handed her, unscrewed the top, and drank deeply. Something about it bothered her, niggling in the recesses of her mind, but she was too tired to focus and figure it out. She caught Natalia’s glance at Sofia in the rearview mirror and frowned. She took another gulp of water, closed her eyes again, and drifted off for several minutes.

  She was startled awake as the car hit a pothole. She tried to lift her head, but it felt incredibly heavy. She managed to roll it to the side and glanced out the window. “Where are we?” She was astonished to realize her words were garbled; it was so hard to speak and even to think. What was going on? They were clearly headed east toward the foothills. Bernie’s car was down near the university. She fumbled with the lid to her water bottle, hoping a drink would clear her fuzzy mind. This time she noticed a weird aftertaste, and her heart pounded hard as she realized what had bothered her earlier. The water bottled hadn’t been sealed. It had opened easily, without a snap as the factory seal was broken. Did they put something in my water? What is going on here? Bernie closed her eyes again and tried to corral her swirling thoughts. First, Natalia and Sofia had manipulated her into attending a party by telling her she would meet a guy who had come on to Gabby the night she disappeared. After meeting Cory, Bernie believed Natalia had lied. And now they had apparently roofied her water bottle. She didn’t know why, but she knew she was in danger and needed to get out of this car—now. If she waited to see where they were taking her, well, it would be a very bad thing. What could she do? “Pull over, Nat! I’m gonna barf!” She held her hand in front of her mouth and reached for the door handle.

  Natalia reacted like most people would—she jerked the steering wheel and pulled the car to the shoulder. Bernie pushed the door open and stumbled through the weeds. She bent over and pushed her middle finger down her throat as far as it would go, making herself throw up, some for show and some to hopefully rid her system of whatever drug she’d ingested. She could hear footsteps in the gravel behind her. “Sorry about this. I must have—agh!” Her shoulder exploded in pain.

  “You just couldn’t leave it alone, could you, Bernie?” Natalia hissed in her ear and twisted the knife she’d plunged into Bernie’s upper back. “Do it, Sofia!”

  “No!” Sofia sobbed. “I don’t want to!”

  “Do it!” Natalia screamed, nearly bursting Bernie’s eardrum.

  Bernie screamed and kept screaming as Sofia stabbed her in the side. She collapsed to the gravel into the puddle of vomit and tumbleweeds, groaning as she struggled to remain conscious.

  The other girls knelt beside her, and Bernie was sure they were prepared to finish her off. She squeezed her eyes shut and thought of Josh; his sm
ile, his kindness, how much she loved him. She regretted he would have to deal with another death in his life and hoped he wouldn’t grieve too long. Time seemed to stand still as she waited for the pain to begin again; had it ever stopped?

  “I guess you know what happened to Gabby now, huh?” Natalia growled the question into Bernie’s ear as she pushed the knife deeper. “Too bad you’re the only one who’ll ever know.”

  “Nat, we gotta go! This is a busy road! People are going to drive by and we’ll get caught!” Sofia was crying. “What are we gonna do?”

  “Shut up, Sofia! Help me get her back in the car. We can’t leave her here.”

  “Why?” Bernie wasn’t sure if she’d actually managed to get the word out. “Why Gabby?”

  “Why?” Natalia stopped and laughed in Bernie’s face. “Because she was a bitch and she needed to die! You should have let it go, Bernie.” She grabbed Bernie under her arms and began dragging her to the car.

  The pain was beyond excruciating, and she felt herself slipping away. It was too much; she had to get beyond it. Her eyes drifted closed and she gave up.

  A blindingly bright light seared through her eyelids as she heard tires screech to a halt in the gravel. She was fading fast but realized Natalia and Sofia had left her, crunching through the gravel as they ran toward their car. She heard wheels throwing rocks and dirt as it pulled away from the shoulder.

  “Bernie? Oh my God! You’re bleeding! Shit! There’s too much blood!”

  She felt something shoved against her side as more throbbing pain enveloped her. “Diego? What—?” Her question faded along with the last vestiges of her consciousness. Merciful blackness welcomed her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Josh

  “It’s time, Josh.”

  “Caleb?” Josh ran to his little brother and threw his arms around him.

  “Oof! Can’t breathe!”

  “But aren’t you—I mean, I thought—” Josh pulled back and stared into his brother’s face.