SIDECHICK: CATCHING FEELINGS

by K NICOLE

  Roman was in his room laying in bed watching The Paw Patrol Movie. He wasn’t as hyper as he used to be and that had me wondering if he was okay. I know the kids were wondering why me and their mother weren't living in the same house anymore. My oldest, Lizzy wasn’t dumb and I was pretty sure she knew what was up. She never asked me shit. Maybe Diah talked to her about it.

  “Y’all doing good!” I called out to them, with a big smile on my face.

  “Thank you daddy,” they both called out in unison. I glanced down and tickled Celeste who was sitting in front of me in her bouncer.

  Having all four of the kids alone with no help was a lot. I saw first hand what Diah had to go through when I was out handling business, laying up with Perri or a different bitch. Imagine if she wouldn’t have lost the fifth child. Luckily, I still had people to cook and clean because I wasn’t doing that shit.

  Unbuckling Celeste, I called out to the girls to come inside. I picked her up and then her bouncer to bring back inside. It was getting ready to rain; I felt a few drops on my arms.

  “Daddy it’s gonna rain! I wanna play in the rain!” Danielle pouted.

  “And have your mama fuss about your hair? Yeah right,” I argued with her. She stomped her little ass in the house though. I couldn’t do anything but shake my head. Three girls. I would have to deal with the periods...the boys…

  Just thinking about my girls getting their hearts broken by a nigga like me had me on edge. Crazy how I could do their mama so wrong but didn’t want a nigga do them wrong. It was fucked up but it was life. If I could do it all over, I would never have approached Perri at her cousin’s party. I was missing Diah like crazy and she kept curving a nigga. What if she was fucking with someone while I had the kids? What if she moved on?

  The bounce fell out of my hand just thinking about another nigga touching on Diah. Another nigga making her happy when I failed at doing so. Another nigga sliding up in her pussy.

  It took me two hours to get the kids bathed and in bed. I fed Celeste who went right on to sleep. She was getting bigger by the day and soon we would be celebrating her first birthday.

  Once I showered and slid in bed, I picked up my phone and did my normal night routine… stalk Diah’s social media accounts. She didn’t post much but today she posted different rooms of her new house and how she decorated them. The house was nice as fuck and I was wished I was apart of it. I pulled up her message thread and decided to try my luck tonight.

  House is nice. When can I come give you your house warming gift?

  She didn’t answer right away so I turned on my side and watched a little of the basketball game that was on. I damn near jumped when my phone chimed. I glanced over at Celeste in her bed that I had placed in my room to keep an eye on her, making sure she didn’t wake up. I turned the volume down on my phone and then opened the message from Diah.

  Go play with somebody else.

  My brows dipped and jaw clenched. She was really talking on the side of her neck. She was hurting from the shit I did to her, but Diah knew to watch her fucking mouth.

  Diah watch that shit. I think you’re taking this shit a little too far. I miss you. I’m sorry and I’m sorry I didn’t value what we had before, but I want to make up for it. You know I don’t beg, but I’m beggin’ you.

  I tossed my phone to the side and slipped out of bed to pour me a strong drink. Diah was intentionally trying to piss me off. Never in her life had she spoken to me like that. It was something light, but at the same major as fuck. It spoke volumes. She was telling me loud and clear that it was basically fuck me and to leave her alone. Diah had been saying that shit really, and I wasn’t trying to accept it. What I look like sitting back, letting another nigga love my wife. I’d be a dumb nigga. I’d dead that nigga before I let that happen.

  __________

  For two days, I’ve enjoyed my kids but now I was meeting up with Diah at my mom’s to hand them back over. It was cutting into me deep having to do so. My kids literally were my lifeline and if I could take back those days that I was away from them doing fuck shit, I would. All weekend they had me laughing and on the floor playing with them. I painted toenails and allowed Rome to whoop me on the game. That shit made his day because I never made it easy for him. He really thought he whooped daddy.

  “Daaaddddy, I wanna stay witchu’,” Rome whined, throwing himself into the door of my peanut butter on white Escalade. This was my daddy ride, like a woman has her mom van. They couldn’t eat in my shit or step in with muddy shoes. I didn’t play that. I left that to Diah. She’d just go have her shit detailed right after.

  I glanced up in the mirror to look back at Rome as I pulled out of the driveway. My heartstrings were being pulled from every direction. The two oldest girls looked sad too while Celeste had no idea what was going on around her. I chewed on my bottom lip, holding back the tears and all the emotions that I was feeling.

  “I wish you could, my boy but you need to go with your mama today and I’ll get you again this weekend,” I told him, keeping my eyes on the road instead of his sulky face.

  “Why mama move us to a new house and you not there?” Danielle asked me. I knew this was coming. I would have thought Diah would have explained her version to them. All I could say was Daddy fucked up and Mommy left a nigga. “Are y’all mad at each other?”

  “I could never be mad at Mommy,” I told her. “We’re just not getting along right now and Mommy felt like it would be best if we separated.”

  “Then what is divorce?” Lizzy questioned, making me stop suddenly at the stop sign I was getting ready to pass. My chest was beating hard as hell. A car was flying through and if I wasn’t careful, we would have been hit. Yeah, this conversation was dead.

  “Let’s change the subject to something happy,” I mumbled, pressing my foot on the gas when it was clear.

  “But I’m not happy, daddy!” pouted Rome.

  “Me neither, son. Me neither.”

  Diah was already waiting for the kids when I pulled into my mama’s yard. She was on the porch, sitting and chopping it up with my T-Lady as if she wasn’t leaving the family. She looked good in her yellow sundress and hair up in a sleek ponytail. I placed the truck in park and hopped out to open the door for my kids. Slowly, they hopped out looking gloomy.

  “What’s with all the long faces?” my mama asked them. I grabbed Celeste out of the car seat that I kept for her and shut the door before spinning around to face Diah.

  “We don’t want to leave Daddy. He was fun,” Lizzy sniveled. “He painted our toes. See!” She wiggled her toes which caused me to snort. I did an aight job.

  After kissing Celeste on her cheek, I handed her to her mother. Her perfume evaded my nostrils. The sweet, floral scent was intoxicating. I closed my eyes and inhaled because it would be days until I would probably lay my eyes on or get a whiff of her again.

  “You’ll see him again this weekend… right, Roman?”

  My eyes popped open when my name rolled off her tongue. Our eyes met and for the first time ever, I didn’t see the love she used to have for me. Diah use to look at me with those beautiful brown eyes, batt them hoes, stare at a nigga all in love ‘n shit, and have a nigga’s nose wide open.

  “Yeah… yeah of course. Whenever they want Daddy to come scoop them,” I said.

  “Good. Good.” That was my mama. She was sitting and watching this all play out. Probably holding her damn breath.

  “Yeah...good,” Diah spoke, with a clap of her hands. “Let’s go kids. Give your dad and MeeMaw a hug and kiss. Gotta go home and start dinner.”

  “I can take y’all out to -

  “No, we’re good,” Diah sternly retorted and I held my hands up in surrender.

  “Was trying to make shit easier on you.”

  Diah snorted. I kissed the kids and left. There was no point in staying now that she had the kids.

  PERRI

  “So bitch, is you gon’ listen to me and not judge?” Wes spat, as he switch
ed his ass into my house. I rolled my eyes and shut the door behind him and then trailed after him towards the living room. Me and Wes hadn’t spoken to one another in a few days and that was unusual for us. I get he had to live his life for him, but Paul cheated. Paul was no good for my friend.

  I smacked my lips together. “I’ll listen, but I already know it’s bullshit.”

  He dramatically sat down and crossed his legs at the knees. Wes eyed me from head to toe with his big, glossy lips pressed tightly together. He had on all white from the blouse to the flowy pants that stopped at his bony ankles. On his feet were all white Balenciagas.

  “So boom,” he started, holding his hands out, “Paul came back begging for me to forgive him and that he realized that other nigga wasn’t me. Duh. I know it sounds like I’m being dumb but bitch I’m gon’ milk him for what he has got. Ain’t that what you did? Do you see me judging you for going from one brother to the other? Nope,” he popped off. My brow rose.

  “Tell me how you really feel,” I eyed him closely.

  “You know it ain’t even like that Perri. Hell, I was all for it, but I’m saying… people who have glass houses shouldn’t throw stones...or whatever they say,” he said, waving his hand.

  I pointed my finger at him. “No, you said you were done with him because he cheated on you. Paul is a piece of shit and you know you deserve better than him,” I argued. “It’s okay to be alone sometimes, Wes.”

  A loud chuckle exploded out of his mouth.

  “You wouldn’t even know what it’s like to be alone. You jump from nigga to nigga chile.” My eyes grew wide at his words. Wes jumped up. “Let me go before this turns into a shouting match. You want me to be sooo happy for you, but you can’t return the favor for me.”

  Wes had real life pools of water in his eyes and I almost reached out and apologized but then his mean ass words tore into my heart once again. I let his ass get the last words in. I was ready for his black ass to leave so I could lay back down and sleep. My stomach was now a little round and I was getting tired by the day. I was glad I ain’t have no job ‘cus I would have been done quit. On my way to the bedroom, I grabbed my Kindle. The sound of the doorbell ringing stopped me in my tracks. I sighed.

  “I just want to lay down,” I whined. I tucked my Kindle under my arm and answered the door. My eyes widened at the beautiful floral arrangements before me. I glanced up and the Fedez driver was peeling out of my driveway. There were six beautiful round boxes that were about 15” diameters each lined up behind one another on my steps and going down my driveway. Each of them was filled with orange roses.

  Leaning down, I picked up the first one that had the card in it and carried it back inside. They were extra large boxes. Heavy.

  Thought this would make your day. Just know I’m thinking about you even while I’m away. Seven boxes of roses for a lucky lady. Be home soon. - Daddy Zeus

  I giggled at the Daddy Zeus. Cute. He was gone out of town to Miami and I just didn’t have the strength to go.

  It took a lot of strength and breath for me to lift the last five and bring them in the house. They were just too pretty to be left outside. I snorted and shook my head. Zeus said seven which means Wes had to have stolen one with his petty ass and the Fedex driver let him. Climbing in bed, I made sure to text him.

  You’re going to jail.

  Gotta catch me first!

  __________

  I was restless. No matter how I slept, I would still toss and turn. When Zeus wasn’t in the bed with me, this is how it usually went. I was so use to throwing a leg over him or putting my feet between his and going straight to sleep. When he was out of town or at his place, I couldn’t sleep. I needed him.

  My phone rang, causing me to toss my blanket around to find it. It was buried in the sheets instead of on the nightstand where I normally had it. Finally I found it, and sighed in relief when I saw Zeus on the screen. It was two in the morning here, so in Miami it was three. Wonder why he was still up.

  “Hey,” I smiled, after answering the phone. The light was off but I had the TV on.

  “I knew you were up. I could feel it. Can’t sleep? Miss Daddy?” he smirked, running a hand down his deep waves.

  “I can’t and yeah, you know I miss you,” I admitted instead of playing hard like I normally did. Zeus was laying on his pillow, bedroom eyes staring at me with that top lip tucked in.

  “Shit, I’ll hop on the jet right now if you need me to.” He sat up. It sounded real good, but it was late and he needed rest too.

  “No, I’ll fall asleep sooner or later. You need sleep too. I bet you have been on the go. Oh, thanks for the roses. I meant to thank you earlier, but I didn’t want to interrupt what you may have had going at the time.”

  “You could never interrupt anything but there isn’t anything more important that you and my child,” Zeus smacked. “You’re important.”

  A slow smile eased onto my lips.

  “You be doing something to me when you talk to me like that. Hold on.”

  I hopped up to go pee again and he was still on the phone waiting when I climbed back in bed.

  “Where’d you go?” frowned Zeus, wrinkled in his forehead and brown eyes piercing my soul.

  “To pee. I hear it gets worse.”

  “If I could pee for you, I would.”

  We both fell out laughing. This was all I wanted...a homie...lover...friend all in one person and I have him. I have my person.

  I hadn’t been back to my mom’s after her revelation. Her and Roman. I bet he didn’t even know he had fucked my damn mom. I was glad Diah was divorcing his ass. She deserved better. She deserved a Zeus. Just not mine.

  ZEUS

  Roman didn’t join me on this trip to Miami and that was how Draco preferred it this go round. I felt he was about to put a whole lot on my plate that I’d shared with Roman since we got in the game.

  When I arrived at Draco’s palace, he had a whole breakfast spread and it was just me and him. A nigga ate because I had skipped breakfast at the hotel and it was home cooked. I saw why Draco wanted me good and full because he had laid some thick shit on me afterwards.

  “I’m done and I want to crown you as the new plug. My wife wants me out.” He had chuckled. “She say I’m too old and can’t hang wit’ this shit like I use to. Just you.”

  My tongue had glided over my lips and I used my napkin to wipe my mouth. This was a lot to take in. Being in control and supplying niggas brought out the greed and jelaous niggas. Niggas that wanted to try you becasue they wanted to test yo’ gangsta. I had a family that I needed to protect, but the money would be way longer than what it was now. It’d really put my family on. This was some shit I had to think on and discuss with my woman because that would mean we would be moving to Miami.

  “What’s on your mind youngblood?”

  We both took a sip of our Mimosas.

  “Shit, that’s an opportunity, but I’d have to speak with the Mrs. first.”

  Draco held his hands up. “No problem. You wouldn’t necessarily have to move to Miami, but you would need to frequently visit more often than you do now. You can always get a home out here too. Shit, I can fix that up for you. Just say the word.”

  I nodded. “I appreciate that shit, I’ll let you know the word before the week is over.”

  “Bet,” he told me, standing up and reaching his hand out. I stood and slapped it. Draco brought me into a brotherly hug with a pat on the back. “No beef with your brother. There is only one spot for a king. How you want to incorporate him in the business is up to you, but everything will be run by you.”

  I nodded without saying anything else. Roman was a muthafuckin’ hothead but he chose his battles. This wasn’t going to sit well with him and he was gon’ try me. I knew he would. Mama just better get ready to be all in her feelings.

  ___________

  My baby was restless when I got off the phone with her. It wasn’t healthy that she wasn’t getting any sleep without me
, so I made sure to check out and hop on the jet when I had woken up and got myself together the next morning. I was gon’ have to bless Jeff, our pilot because he stayed trained to go.

  I slept the whole flight back to Texas. A nigga didn’t realize how tired I really was until my head hit the pillow and I relaxed in that soft ass king-sized bed alone. I didn’t wake back up until we had landed.

  Before heading to Perri’s, I stopped at Jack in the Box to grab some food for the both of us. I rather her not eat this shit while she was pregnant, but I needed something on my stomach right now too and she stayed hungry. I was gon’ to have to get a new chef when we moved in our spot that was gon’ feed her 24/7. Not no greasy shit either, but healthy food for her and the baby.

  With the food and drinks in my hands, I jogged to the front door and used my Timbs to knock on the door. If she was in the back where her room was located, Perri would look at her camera app first.

  “Hey stink,” she grinned, opening up the front door.

  “I don’t know who the fuck stink is, but I ain’t him,” I mugged her, entering the house. She giggled behind me as she locked up. I walked straight to the kitchen and placed everything down on the granite counters. “Hungry?”

  I swiveled to see Perri rubbing on her stomach which was now poking out. She nodded and I reached out to rub her stomach as well. We decided not to find out the sex until delivery. Trust me, it was hard for the both of us. The only one that knew the sex of our baby was the doctor that I had come do her monthly check ups at my crib. I wanted everything private for us. I wanted us to enjoy the pregnancy without so many people around.

  Handing Perri the mini tacos and her Sprite, I grabbed my burger, fries, and Dr. Pepper and sat down on one of her white, swivel barstools. She sat down next to me and turned to face me, with one of her knees between my legs.