SIDECHICK: CATCHING FEELINGS

by K NICOLE

  After leaving the house and getting some McDonalds, I drove to the warehouse. This would be the first time I would see my brother since I left the hospital when he kept asking for Perri. When he was down, I was doing this shit by myself.

  “‘Sup,” I said, walking in. It was just me and him as usual. Getting the work ready for the niggas that were picking up. He had the money counter out for the ones that were dropping off what didn’t get picked up by me or him.

  “Shit,” he answered. “I need to speak with you about some shit.”

  That got my attention. I sat down at a table to finish eating my food before helping him. Zeus cleared his throat and sat down on top of the table while staring at me.

  “Draco hit me up a month ago…”

  “Damn, you just telling me this,” I mumbled, chewing on a fry while giving him my full attention once I heard Draco’s name.

  “He steppin’ down,” Zeus finished. Well I thought he was finished.

  “So what? We kingpins now?” I asked, excited as fuck because that meant way more bread.

  “He asked me to take his spot,” Zeus spoke, still staring at me. He was watching for my reaction. Shit, I dropped my damn burger and looked back at him, confused.

  “What the fuck does that mean!” I barked. “So, I’m out?” That was a statement and not a question. I should have known Perri was gon change my nigga.

  Zeus ran his hand over his waves and shook his head. I could feel the blood leaving my face and I kind of felt light headed.

  “You think I would really leave you the fuck out. You up there wit’ me nigga. You still gon’ eat, but I’ll be moving to Miami.”

  My eyes bulged. I couldn’t believe this shit and I felt some type of way.

  “When are you moving?” I questioned him. My hands balled into fists and his eyes automatically lowered to them.

  “Don’t fucking play with me, Roman,” he warned me. “Next week. I already dropped bread on a crib. You can still rock with me and run Dallas or you can do what the fuck you want but there won’t be any secret animosity. You still gon’ fuckin’ eat.”

  “Why you though?” I asked. “I ran shit while you were fucked up. Draco ain’t see that shit?” I swiped my nose with my thumb and sighed.

  “Maaaan why not me? I’m not the one with women issues ‘n shit. I’m focused and you’re not bro. You have too much unnecessary bullshit goin’.”

  I waved him away with a flick of my hand and picked up my burger to finish it because a nigga was really hungry and wasn’t gon waste it. This was all bullshit. I was done with the conversation, but if I didn’t eat like he said I was still gon do plus more, then we would have a problem.

  ZEUS

  “Stoooop,” Perri giggled underneath me as I attacked her neck with my lips.

  The way she was grindin’ her warm pussy up on me, I knew she didn’t really mean it. She was over helping me pack some shit at the house and we were taking a break. We hadn’t had sex in days and I was in need to be inside of her.

  “Let me just put the head in,” I muttered in her ear, causing her to shiver.

  “Zeus. We are supposed to be packing. That’s going to put us behind!” she whined. I pulled her dress up anyway and tore her panties off with one swift move. “Zeeeeeus!”

  “Hush girl and gimme that pussy,” I smirked, and she put her hands on her face but that was stopped as soon as I had my sweats down and was entering her.

  “Mmmmm,” Perri moaned out, grinding on me and meeting my thrusts. She wanted this shit just as bad as I did. Her pussy was soppy wet. My dick kept falling out unwillingly.

  I glanced down and watched my dick disappear and then reappear. Disappear and then reappear. I gave Perri deep, long strokes that had her nails digging into my skin. I attacked her neck and ears with my mouth as I sped up. Perri squirted so hard, she pushed me out but I dived back in and within minutes I was shooting off inside of her. I pecked her lips and pulled out, ambling to the bathroom to start us a shower.

  Perri was now tired so I washed her off and when she rinsed she stepped out. I showered and lingered in there a little while longer. The hot water coming from the shower head always hit the knots in my shoulders and back just how I liked it. When I did finally emerge from the shower, Perri was brushing her teeth, now in her pajamas. I smiled at her protruding stomach.

  In a few months, we will get to meet our child. The child we both help make. That shit was crazy to me because I was in my thirties now and I was finally having my first child.

  “When are you starting on the wedding planning?” I asked Perri, as I started drying my body off.

  “I was hoping after the baby. No lie bae, I have no energy to be around people. I don’t have the energy to start planning a wedding but as soon as I give birth, I’ll start on it,” she looked over at me and smiled.

  I nodded. “Sounds good to me. You ready for this move?”

  “Am I?” she asked then winced and grabbed her stomach. We both looked down at her legs and saw blood. “Zeus…”

  __________

  I was a walking zombie.

  We lost the baby.

  When the doctor glanced at the both of us with a long face, I had already figured out it was bad news and I blamed myself. I had to have sexed her too hard or something to cause her to miscarry, but the doctor kept expressing that wasn’t the case.

  Perri cried over and over and didn’t want me to hold her. She said she didn’t blame me but she was sholl acting like it. While she was laying in the hospital, I made my way to my mother’s house. I was on her porch with tears in my eyes and when she opened the door, she pulled me to her and wrapped her arms around my tall frame as best as she could.

  “What happened son?” she asked, leading me into the house. “Did Perri leave you?”

  “What ma?” I lifted my head and frowned. “No, we lost… we lost the baby.”

  She gasped and tears also fell from her eyes.

  “A baby girl,” I mumbled, wiping the tears from my own eyes.

  That shit really hurt. My chest felt heavy and the tears wouldn’t stop falling.

  “Why are you here and not there with her?” My mom came and sat beside me and rubbed my back,

  “She’s hurting so bad and shit, I don’t think she wants me there. We had um…sex before she miscarried and I think...I think I did this to us,” I confided in her. My ma didn’t even blink.

  “Son,” she sighed. “You didn’t cause her to miscarry. Don’t even put that on yourself. Most miscarriages occur because the fetus isn’t developing normally despite what the doctor may see on that screen. They can’t catch everything baby,” she said, speaking softly.

  I put my head in my hands. It was pounding.

  “I suggest you go up there and be with your fiance. Even though it may not seem like she needs you, she needs you. Let me know what yall decide to do?”

  “What do you mean, decide to do?” I lifted my head up and queried.

  “If you decide to have a small funeral for the baby. I would like to be there because I am the baby’s grandmother. Your first child. My God,” she sighed softly, covering her mouth with her hand and began rocking.

  “Don’t be calling on God when he didn’t say my baby,” I snapped, standing up.

  “Uh uh son. Get out of my house talking like that. Now I’m going to have to get some sage and get the evil on up out of here. Gone. Gone back to that hospital,” she fussed, pushing me to the door. “Call me if you need me and yall better not leave for Miami without seeing me first!”

  PERRI

  After seeing his people, we were now on the jet to Miami. There wasn’t anyone that I had to say goodbye to. Lately, I had been in my own world anyway to even want to be around people. I lost my baby. The blood running down my legs. Me pushing the baby out to see it’s limped body… I see those images in my head everytime I close my eyes. Zeus had to hire movers to pack both houses up because I just wasn’t up to do it.

  O
n the jet, I had gone straight to the bed to lay in the fetal position. The past few days I had been giving Zeus the cold shoulder. It wasn’t intentional and I wasn’t mad at him. I was just so depressed that I was pushing him away. Zeus never pushed me to talk to him. He just let me be.

  The doctor had explained to me when Zeus had left the hospital that my cervix was thin and was no longer able to hold the baby. That bothered me because I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to hold a baby, but the doctor promised that I would since now it was known that my cervix was thin. Shit was frustrating.

  “You need to eat something.”

  I glanced up and Zeus had entered the bedroom area with containers of food. I would eat here and there… well more like snack every now and then. The food he had brought in really did smell good. My stomach had growled at the first sniff. I sat up and he handed me a container that was filled with soul food. It had collard greens, corn bread, baked chicken, and macaroni ‘n cheese. My mouth watered and my taste buds were satisfied with the first bite.

  “Mmm,” I sang, as I did a little jig. “This is good. Who made this?”

  “Mama. She wanted to give us a home cooked meal before we left,” Zeus explained, sitting across from in a chair.

  “Oh, she doesn’t think Ima feed you when we hit Miami?” I half-joked.

  I couldn’t hate the woman. She was actually checking on me everyday when I left the hospital. She would stop by and bring me food that went untouched just because I didn’t want to eat. I would just grab a peach, plum, or banana out of the kitchen and then back in bed I went. I lost weight from doing that shit and I was already ‘po. I bet Zeus thought I was on crack or something.

  “Man, gone on,” he chuckled, taking a bite of his greens.

  I’m glad Zeus didn’t leave me from the way I had been acting. I really loved this man and the way he sticks beside me, I can tell he really loved me too. I wish I had met him first, I can’t stop saying it because it’s true. Being with brothers isn’t ideal. Not for me it isn't. There might be some freaks out there that don't mind. But it happened, and I can’t take it back.

  When we were both finished eating, Zeus crawled in the bed with me and we watched movies like Jason’s Lyric, Boyz in the Hood, and Menace II Society on Netflix. We ended up falling asleep. Zeus knew it would be a while until we had sex again. I had told him that and he told me that he’d beat his meat as long as it takes.

  “Wake up P,” I heard his voice call out and my eyes fluttered open. “We’re here.”

  I sat up and stretched, easing out of the bed to put my Crocs on my feet. Smiling to myself, I was excited to start this new journey in Miami. It had been a long time since a smile graced my face. I’ve been through shit in such a short time that I never thought I would ever go through. This new life… I was going to make the best of it. Starting with planning this wedding.

  __________

  Draco and his wife met us at the air strip. His wife was a beautiful, thick Puerto Rican woman. Her face wore a smile when they landed on me. Wes was the only nigga I fucked with, so I kind of had a wall up. I keep females at arms length because if I couldn’t trust my own mother, what made you think I could trust you? I couldn’t.

  “Hi,” she greeted Zeus, with a kiss to his cheek and my face burned. Nan other female was supposed to be putting her lips on my man. Zeus squeezed the hell out of the hand that was in his because he felt me tense up. She then moved to me as he let go of my hand to greet Draco. “My name is Acindina, but you can call me Dina,” she greeted me.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Perri.” I stuck the hand out that carried my big rock. Instead of shaking my hand , she held it up to check it out.

  “Ohhhh, this is beautiful. Zeus you did good,” she gushed.

  “He really did,” I beamed. Draco then stuck his hand out to me.

  “Draco. Nice to meet the woman that has put a smile on Zeus’ face. I can tell he is really happy,” he told me. He was a nice looking man. Looked younger than what he probably was. Him and Dina were a nice looking couple.

  “Nice to meet you,” I also told him.

  “Well let’s get you to your new house,” Draco said, leading us to his car as he had men with him that carried our belongings from the jet. Zeus pulled me into his body as we walked towards Draco’s black Escalade.

  “You should have brunch with me in the morning,” said Dina, as we pulled off.

  “She’ll love to,” Zeus answered for me and my head snapped towards him. “Pick her up.”

  “Good. I don’t fuck with bitches either. I get your hesitation,” she smiled. “I promise you, I’m not one of them.”

  Oh okay. I might like her ass then.

  ROMAN

  I sat at my desk in the office I had in my house. I’ve been staring at these papers for about twenty minutes now trying to decide if I wanted to sign them. If I did, I would no longer be married to Diah. If I didn’t sign, she would just press the issue or take it to court and I didn’t want to go before no fuckin’ judge. Tapping the desk with my pen, I let out an exaggerated sigh and went ahead and signed the first paper. It was painful, but at the end of the day, I did this shit to myself. I was finally realizing that. Now I was giving Diah what she wanted and this shit was painful. After going through each sheet, I decided to text her to inform her that it was signed and I would drop them off with the lawyer in the morning. Of course, I had to be petty.

  You’re free. Papers are signed.

  Placing the papers back in the large orange envelope that they arrived in, I stood up and stretched. Diah didn’t text me back right away, so after slipping my phone in my pocket, I decided to get out of the house and visit my mom. It’s been about a week since she slapped the fuck out of me, and I owed her an apology for how I talked to her.

  She was outside in her yard, raking up the leaves that had fallen. It was September and her yard was covered. Even though her hip had healed, she still could have called me to come rake or I could have hired a landscaper to handle that. By the expression on her face, she was shocked to see me pull up in her yard.

  “‘You got it?” I questioned, walking towards her.

  “Yep. Somebody gotta do it and I don’t mind.” She stopped raking and peered around us. “The weather has been nice lately.”

  There was a breeze and it was better than the ninety-degree weather that we had been having. Texas weather was bipolar. You never knew what you were gon get until the next day. One day it was hot as fuck in Dallas, and then the next day we had woke up to a damn snow storm in Decemeber.

  Taking the rake from my mama, she slowly trudged back to her porch to have a seat in her favorite rocking chair. She watched me rake for about thirty minutes.

  “I have some food cooked, son. You want to come in and I’ll fix you a plate.”

  Music to my ears. I wiped the sweat from my forehead with the inside of my shirt from the bottom, and followed her in the house. It was nice outside, but the air in mama’s house felt better.

  “Have you talked to your brother?” she asked, after I had come into the kitchen from washing my hands in the hallway bathroom. My mouth watered at the plate she was filling up with all kinds of soul food. One thing mama was gonna do was cook. I sat at the table and she placed it down in front of me.

  “About business, but other than that...nah,” I answered her. I dug into the food. “Man, it’s been a minute since I had a home cooked meal.”

  Mama stood at the table with one hand on her hip and peered at me over her glasses.

  “If you come over often, you can get one. It’s just me here but you know I cook for more than one person. And you need to take a break from women. Yeah, I know you out there doing your thing,” she said, after I started to interrupt her. “Once you get another good woman, you need to hang that hoe ass shit up.”

  I frowned at her. Mama was a holy, church going woman and didn’t cuss like that. She had to be upset with me.

  “Yeah, I hear you mama,” I sigh
ed. “I apologize for snapping at you when you came over.”

  “Mmmhhhmm ok. Eat your food. Ima go in the den to watch reruns of my stories.”

  She left and I sat and ate my food, mind on a lot of shit. She was right. Hell Zeus was right. I needed to take that L with Perri and Diah and focus on bettering myself. I’ll kill a nigga if he ever did my girls the way I did their mother and I surely didn’t want Rome to be a playa. I wanted him to know it was okay to be with just one woman other than multiple. I wanted my son to be respectful and I needed to get back on my shit and show him how it’s done.

  __________

  “Hey stranger.”

  I turned my body around and was face to face with Patrice. This woman was in her forties and was dressed as if she was in her twenties. Even though the temperature had dropped she was in some tight biker shorts that were tye-dyed and a matching shirt that she tied in the front, exposing her stomach. Her hair looked freshly done and I couldn’t stop my eyes from roaming over her body and a smile spread on my lips. Then what my mama had said came to mind and the smile instantly disappeared.

  “How have you been?” I asked. It’s been about two weeks since we linked up and fucked.

  “Be better if you come over and blow my back out,” she giggled.

  I stuffed my hands in my sweats and her eyes darted to my manhood. She was a straight up freak.

  “Ima have to pass tonight. I have to work tonight,” I lied.

  “Work?” snorted Patricia. “I know a drug dealer when I see one. You handed me a few stacks before. I’ve been around to sniff a drug dealer out.”

  Chuckling, I shook my head once. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, but it was nice seeing you.”

  An older man approached her and I started walking away.

  “Patricia, how is that daughter of yours doing? I hadn’t seen Perri around in months,” I heard him tell her and I slowly turned around. That feeling I had in the pit of my stomach when I had first laid eyes on her, that was my gut telling me that she was some kind of relative to Perri. But her mama though. Fuck. When my eyes had landed on her face, it held a smirk. She knew about me and Perri.