“Yes.” I damn near shouted in the poor thing’s face. She was only around five foot and that was with the tallest red heels I’d ever seen. Her face was clean of makeup except for bright red lipstick. She looked like she knew what she was doing, so I did what any sane man would do. I pushed Amy towards her and said, “Can you dress her?”
The lady’s eyes narrowed.
“That came out wrong,” I grumbled. “Can you help her find some clothes? She needs a whole new wardrobe, shoes, underthings.” I coughed into my hand and looked away. Bar, bar, where was a freaking bar?
“Sure.” The lady pressed her lips together, probably trying not to laugh hysterically at my expense, and motioned to Amy. “Why don’t we go check out Savvy, I think I can find you some great pieces. What’s our budget, sir?”
“No budget,” I barked out. “Is there a place to get a drink around here?” I tugged at my t-shirt but it didn’t alleviate the choked feeling I had at sitting in a department store with a gun in my pants—literally...
“Actually,” she said smoothly, “Right around the corner is a nice bar that Nordstorm specifically put in for men to sit at while they wait for their significant others to shop.”
“Well.” I sighed happily, “That was a stroke of brilliance.”
“You should see that place during the Anniversary sale.” She winked. “Why don’t you go have a beer… or three and I’ll take…?” She tilted her head. “I’m sorry what was your name, dear?”
“Amy.” She gulped.
“I’ll take Amy and we’ll come get you once we’re finished.”
“Great.” I released Amy’s hand. “You going to be okay?”
“It’s shopping, not the Hunger Games.” Amy grinned. “I think I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah well…” I stuffed my hands in my pockets. “Keep the bow and arrow just in case.”
With that, I walked towards the bar and ordered a beer. When I sat down it was like coming home. Men were everywhere — eating, drinking, checking their watches, texting. Hmm, it really was smart, give the men beer and their women could shop all damn day. Seriously brilliant. I needed to text Sergio or Nixon… or someone.
I suddenly felt very alone.
When you can’t text your brother because you’re still pissed at him.
When you can’t text your boss because technically you’ve been shitting on him for the past five years.
I groaned into my hands just as my cell rang.
I barked out a “What?”
“Wow, you’re in a super good mood. Remind me to call you every day in order to make sure the sun’s still shining.” It was Campisi, Tex.
“Sorry, I’m shopping.”
“Pretty sure that wasn’t in the job description.”
“Yeah.” I took a sip of beer. “But she had shit, Campisi.”
“Tex,” he corrected smoothly.
“Fine, Tex.” I rolled my eyes. “She had no clothes, they were destroyed. She has a toothbrush, a damn toothbrush to her name. What was I supposed to do?”
“Take her shopping,” Tex said softly. “Nixon will pay for it.”
I chuckled. “I think we both know I don’t need Nixon’s money.”
“Snobby rich Abandonatos.” His chuckle joined mine, but we both knew that since he was the Cappo he was just as rich. Hell, he could buy a small country.
“Yeah, yeah, so what’s up?”
“Just checking in on one of my favorite associates, making sure you’re still alive and breathing, you know the drill.”
“You want my heart rate too?”
“Is that your way of saying your heart’s racing? Because I gotta tell you… I have the same feelings… when we speak.”
I burst out laughing. “You’re a scary son of a bitch, but hilarious as hell.”
“I’m charming, that’s what the wife says.”
“You should say that next time you shoot someone.”
“I did, he still pissed himself, but whatever.”
I rolled my eyes. “Anything else?”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “We’ve got you… me and Nixon… Chase, Mil, Phoenix, we’re family. Things aren’t like they used to be. We’re a team, all of the families are a team, and you’re a part of it whether you like it or not. So if you need anything we aren’t just your bosses, we’re your friends and I treat my friends with the utmost respect.”
“Until they double cross you.”
“Well yeah, then I just kill them.”
“So glad we’re friends then.”
Tex laughed out loud. “Have fun shopping… don’t let her go too crazy, and if you see anything suspicious let me know. I’m sending you a picture of her father, he looks a bit different then he used to. If you see him or the other man that’s in the picture, shoot. Don’t hesitate, just shoot.”
“Got it.”
“Bye.”
I hung up the phone and stared at it while a picture text came through. Her dad looked like hell, but I still recognized him. His hair was disheveled like he hadn’t showered in years and he looked like he’d had two of his teeth knocked out. Heavy circles looked drawn under his eyes, crow’s feet were deep enough to take a bath in. His mouth was twisted into a frown. The guy next to him was close to my age. And I knew immediately who he probably was… her brother. The guy was a few years younger than all of us, and a total piece of work. I wasn’t a fan of killing kids under the age of twenty-one, but I knew I would probably have to kill him if he showed up. The thought made the beer go sour in my stomach.
I ordered some water and then some food and waited. All the while mulling over all the things Tex had said on the phone. Friends. I liked that. I liked the idea that we weren’t just a business, but family… even though the five families rarely got along it seemed like they’d finally managed a truce. I just wondered how long it would last before everything went to shit.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Amy
“SO…” ELLA, THE lady who’d deemed herself my personal shopper for the past two hours, pulled the last of the clothes I had picked out from the pile. “He’s hot.”
I laughed. “Yeah, he’s good with a gun too.”
She giggled and gave me a saucy grin. “I bet he is.”
Wasn’t kidding. That was the fun part of walking around with a trained killer; he looked pretty on the outside, but I knew what he was capable of. I knew what all those guys were capable of, and it still gave me chills when I thought about it. How could he hold me throughout the night? Then use those same hands to choke the life out of someone?
I knew firsthand that a lot of the people the mafia hurt were bad people — but some were good, some just fell on bad times, some were just caught in a bad situation.
“I think we have enough here, are you sure you don’t need more shoes?” Ella pointed down at the four boxes of shoes. I’d chosen a pair of sparkly flip-flops, some black leather ankle boots, a pair of Converse, and spiky heels that she said I had to have. I hadn’t ever worn heels so I wasn’t so convinced, but I liked the way they made me feel so I went ahead with it.
“Yeah. I’m good.”
“Great.” She grinned. “I’ll go fetch that man of yours and we can ring you up!”
I followed her out of the dressing room as a few more employees breezed by me and started packing up all the clothes. I hadn’t looked at the price tags. After the first one said five hundred dollars for a pair of leather pants that I knew I’d never wear or need, I decided I didn’t need to know.
Ax arrived a few minutes later. He looked less tense then before, his eyes crinkled at the side as he took in my new outfit. Ella said I needed to wear one of them out of the store, so she ripped the tags off and left with my Walmart clothes — pretty sure I was never going to see them again.
I had on dark skinny jeans, the flip-flops, a white t-shirt that hung off my shoulder, and a strappy blue tank top underneath. It was simple, easy, and it was comfortable. But Ax looked at me like I’d just p
ut on some sort of cat suit and whipped him.
“You look beautiful,” he finally whispered, then kissed me on the forehead. “All ready?” He addressed Ella.
“Of course.” She flashed him a winning employee-of-the-month smile. “I tried to grab some pieces she would be comfortable in, but I convinced her to pick out a few skirts and dresses too.” She shot me a wink.
“Fantastic.”
“So the total…” Her eyebrows arched. “Is four thousand thirty-two dollars and twelve cents.”
Ax didn’t even blink, just reached for a shiny black AmEx card that had some sort of roman soldier or something on it. All I knew was when he handed it over Ella looked like she was about ready to pass out.
She lifted the card closer to her face and grinned such a wide grin I almost wondered if the card was fake or something.
“Don’t think I’m unprofessional…” She swiped the card and handed it back to Axton. “But I didn’t think these actually existed.”
Ax laughed. “Well I’m glad I could put the urban legend to rest. They exist, but they’re a pain in the ass — lots of fees.”
“But at the end of the day does it really matter when you have an invite-only card like that?” She shook her head again, her smile still firmly in place.
“Nah.” He put the card back in his wallet. “Not really.”
“Alright, just need your signature, Mr. Abandonato.”
Hearing his last name made my stomach clench.
I was in an expensive store.
With an Abandonato.
And he’d just paid for an entire wardrobe for me — with what I could only assume was blood money.
I was going to be sick.
“Thanks, Ella.” He pointed to her nametag. “I really appreciate your help today.”
“Any time.” She handed over the four large bags to Ax and then gave me the two garment bags. “Enjoy.”
I gulped as the heavy bags were placed in my arms and tried to keep the tears in. I should be happy. What girl wouldn’t be happy right now? But I felt guilty, like I’d just killed twenty people in order to look cute.
It was unfair of me to put that on Ax. I had no idea where he got his money. All I knew was that the boy I’d once loved was gone. The boy I loved looked like a mechanic; he had grease on his face and used to save his money just so he could order Chinese takeout on the weekends for us.
Had it all been a lie?
Did he have that shiny black card the whole time?
“Ax?”
“Yeah?” He turned to push the door open with his back as we walked outside. “What’s up?”
I took a deep breath. “When we were younger… and you worked as a mechanic… and you’d save your money to buy Chinese…”
Ax looked away, grinding his teeth together. “What about it?”
“Did you have money then? Did you just pretend to be poor?”
“Why?”
Annoyance flashed at his delaying tactic. “Just tell me.”
When we reached the car he clicked open the trunk and started piling the bags in. When he was done he reached for the garment bags and laid them across the bags and shut the trunk, then leaned against it, his entire body taut.
“What if I don’t want to?”
“Then you’re basically answering without actually answering… remember? You don’t want to start off with a lie.”
“I’m an Abandonato.” He sighed. “I was born into money, born into privilege…”
My heart sank.
“But I chose not to be a part of the family, I walked away from it. I had nothing. My parents cut both me and Sergio off. When we moved in next door to. You…it was good… for a while. Until my father asked me to do him one favor… he said his life depended on it. I did him a favor.” Ax swallowed, his jaw tense. “I gambled and I lost.”
“What kind of favor?”
His face shadowed. “One you don’t come back from.” He cursed and hit the car with both of his palms. I jumped. “He finally had dirt on me… after the problem… was taken care of, I woke up to find my passports, credit cards, enough cash to live on my own… everything. I was eighteen. I kept working at the mechanic shop, but he owned my soul by then Ames. He owned me, and he used it against me, he used you against me.”
I reached for his arm. “How?”
He jerked away. “We should get on the road.” Swallowing, he turned to me, not making eye contact. “Every cent I made at the mechanic’s was for you Amy… you think I’m spending my own money on you, but it’s yours. It’s always been yours. I invested it for when you turned eighteen. I added in a nest egg as a present, and it’s grown into something… amazing. I may have betrayed you but my goal was that you’d never want for anything. It’s yours when you turn twenty-four.”
“What?” My voice trembled. “What do you mean?”
“Road trip.” He hit the car again. “Get in.”
“But—”
“Now Amy. I’m done talking about it.”
Blinking away the tears, I went to my side of the car and quietly shut the door behind me. As I buckled my seat belt, I tried not to think about his confession. He’d done so much for me, even when I didn’t know it. He was taking care of me; in his own twisted way he was taking care of me.
With a heavy sigh, I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes.
“Sleep,” Ax said once he started the car. “I know it’s been a rough two days for you. Sleep for a while. I’ll wake you up when it’s time to feed you lunch.”
“Okay,” I murmured.
“My favorite part of the day…” His fingers caressed my cheek. “When you close your eyes and you’re at peace.”
“I would be at peace if you weren’t touching me.”
“I cause unrest?”
“You cause butterflies.”
His gaze played over me for several heartbeats as a smile teased the corners of his mouth. “Good.” The car pulled out of the parking lot, roaring at a fast speed. “I hope to catch those butterflies, every last one, and then I’m going to set them free again and again… until you can’t take it anymore and even then… I’m going to chase, I’m going to catch, I’m going to release, and then I’ll repeat the process.”
“You’re talking in circles,” I mumbled, the butterflies going more wild by the minute.
“Sleep, Ames.”
“Okay.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Axton
THREE HOURS WHERE I did nothing but attempt to drive in straight lines while sneaking glances at her peaceful face.
Three hours where I thought about her question.
Three hours where I tried to make up a lie that would shield her from the ugly truth.
Three hours and I finally decided that I’d done enough lying — she needed to know everything. Before we hit Chicago, she needed the truth, it was the least I could do. I’d give her money, find her a place to live, make sure she finished school. Hell if she wanted one of my cars I’d toss her the keys, but she needed to know what I was driving her back to.
Sometimes I wondered what I was driving back to.
The Cosa Nostra wasn’t what it used to be. I knew that meant that the older generations were probably ready to start an all out war — I knew as well as Tex or Nixon that you can’t just force people to change even if you do wave a gun in front of their faces. And the Sicilians? They hated change.
“Damn it.” I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged nervously, I still had a few more days to prepare her. Thoughts ran wild through my head. Should I teach her to shoot? Should I give her a gun? Should I put security detail on her for the rest of her life? Should I even allow myself to be a part of her existence knowing full well I could wake up dead one morning in a pool of my own blood? Then again, I wouldn’t really be waking up dead---I’d just be---dead.
“Ax?” Amy mumbled.
“Yeah sweetheart.” My voice was gruff, stressed, totally and ridiculously
turned on at the same time because her voice sounded sleepy, relaxed, and so damn tempting it was taking all the restraint I had in my body not to pull over.
She yawned and turned to face me, tucking her feet underneath her. “What did you do? What caused your dad to own you?”
I sighed, licking my lips so I had time to think about how I was going to answer her. “Not really a bed time type of story, Ames.”
“Not really bed time, Ax.”
I let out a hearty chuckle. “Touché.”
“So?”
“So…” I exhaled slowly, the air whistling by my lips. “He said he needed me to check on one of my cousins. He was scared something had happened to him because he lost contact. Joey was my favorite cousin, so I didn’t even think about it, I just went. I had no idea what I was walking into.”
“What happened?”
“It was a meeting.” I sighed, clenching the steering wheel tighter. “And not the good kind.”
“Meetings are never good.” Amy yawned scooted closer, pulling her feet tighter underneath her. “So what happened?”
I didn’t want to go there, but if telling her helped her understand just a fraction of what I had dealt with while trying to shield her from the truth… then I’d re-live one of the worst moments of my life.
“Here’s the thing…” I croaked out. “When you grow up in a family like mine, you hear about killing so much that it rarely affects you anymore. At least that’s what you think.” I tapped the steering wheel nervously with my fingers. “You assume that just because your family’s badass, that you’re badass too. I grew up learning how to fight with the best of them, how to shoot, how to use a knife. I knew how to protect others, I knew how to defend my family, but nobody prepared me for that moment when you watch someone you love… die.”
Amy was silent.
“Joey was around my age, set to prove himself to my father. He had one goal. Become a made man at the age of eighteen. He was insane to think it was possible… but unfortunately he’d heard about how Nixon, the boss of the family, had basically been running the Family while his own father sat in the background. A mere kid had basically taken over one of the most powerful names in the US. Rumors spread like wildfire that a new cleansing was coming, a new generation of guys with no souls, willing to kill their own parents, their own freaking grandparents to take control. They were just rumors, rumors spread in order to keep the younger generation from following Nixon and the rest of his friends. But they did nothing, they lit a fire under everyone’s ass, made people paranoid, made Joey think he was ready for something I don’t think he was ever capable of being ready for.”
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