Camp Alien

by Gini Koch

  Happily, before we could really get into a fight about this, it was time for dinner. Per Nadine, the children and the adults with them were eating upstairs in the Family Dining Room. Tried to get permission to go up and eat with them, but was instantly overruled by pretty much everyone.

  As with lunch, I wasn’t allowed to sit near to Jeff. He had his part of the giant table, I had mine. Chuckie was on my side of things this time, which was a switch. Had a feeling he was on Kitty Wrangling Duty, but then again he might have wanted to grill Kendrick, since I had Vance on my other side and Culver, Abner, Kendrick, and Gadoire nearby. Nathalie and Horn had also joined us, though, so that was nice.

  The food was even better than it had been at lunch. “Does Chef do midnight snacks?” I asked Vance.

  He grinned. “I’ll find out. I’m sure that your private kitchen is stocked.”

  “I haven’t rummaged through it yet. I haven’t really investigated the complex yet.”

  “Well, give it time.”

  As we ate and chatted about totally inconsequential things—other than Kendrick, who was having a very intense conversation with Chuckie and Culver about all things Titan Security and how they were pro this administration—my mind wandered as it so frequently did. And it wandered to its favorite wandering place—thinking about where Jeff and I could have sex in this place.

  Our new bedroom was obvious, and the kids’ rooms were out completely. But there were a lot of other options. Made the decision that doing it in the Oval Office had to be Job One. Figured I could not possibly have been the first person to have thought of this, but had no way of asking how well cleaned the furniture was, at least not without giving Antoinette a heart attack. Oh well, I’d just have to risk it in the name of science and all that jazz.

  The next question was when. Right now was, sadly, out. Besides, the kids were going to want some serious Daddy Time, and Lizzie probably needed to feel accepted and wanted, too. And lord knew when we were going to get all these people out of here. Decided I’d better table all the potential sexy times thinking for later, because it was hard to concentrate.

  Realized Jeff had caught something of what I was thinking, because he caught my eye from far, far away and gave me a very slow, sexy smile. Okay, maybe we’d just stay up late.

  Was interrupted from the only fun thoughts I’d had in ages by a question from Horn. “Kitty, are you keeping your Cause?”

  “I think so, yeah.” The Cause was improving college security for coeds and doing antirape education and more for the male students. Kyle was really in charge of the Cause because he’d instituted a Best-in-Class version at USC. “Unless that’s going to create problems for some reason.”

  “No, I think it’s a good choice,” Horn said. “I was going to suggest that you give Gideon an official position with the Cause.”

  “Um, he’s already a Governor.”

  “But this is something that he could do as well, my dove,” Gadoire said. “And it would give Gideon much happiness, to be still shown to be, ah, important to your administration.”

  Looked at Vance. “Your thoughts?” Noted the others, Abner in particular, looking at Vance with a lot of admiration.

  Vance nodded. “I agree that we don’t want Governor Cleary to feel shoved aside. And, I’m also certain that this will drive Senator Kramer nuts.”

  “Make it so.”

  “You really don’t care for them, do you?” Abner asked.

  “No, not really. Unlike some people who started off in an adversarial position to me,” all of whom were eating with me right now, technically Horn included, “the Kramers chose to become virulently anti-alien. I find it hard to like people like that.”

  “Zachary isn’t your friend,” Culver said, interrupting her side conversation.

  “And I wouldn’t put anything past Marcia,” Nathalie added. “She’s very . . . focused on rising up.”

  Someone else had been focused on rising up politically. Cameron Maurer’s wife, Crystal. And she hadn’t divorced him yet, even though she knew he was an android and they were living in separate states. This bore some investigation, and clearly I needed to give Mrs. Maurer a call or pay a visit, sooner as opposed to later.

  Chuckie’s phone beeped before anyone else could comment. He read his text, grunted, and showed it to me. Buchanan and the rest were back and needed to see Chuckie, me, Jeff, Reader, Tim, and Serene immediately. Chuckie started texting those being requested.

  Fortunately, we’d just finished dessert. “I’m sorry, gang, but a couple of us are needed in a private meeting. Vance, what’s the proper way to excuse myself?”

  He laughed. “Just like that is fine for your friends, Kitty.” Noted Kendrick looking pleased at being included in the general “friends” assessment. “Just graciously grab whoever else you need and we’ll all be good here.” He leaned closer. “I’ll ensure that everyone leaves sooner as opposed to later.”

  “You’re the best, Vance. By the way, give some thought to what we could ask Nancy Maurer to do. I’d love to have her on my staff in some way if she’s willing.”

  Chuckie and I stood and excused ourselves, and the others requested did as well. Jeff sort of left Hochberg, Elaine, and Mom in charge of his end of the table. Decided that I’d leave all of this to Vance and stop worrying about it.

  We went to the Oval Office at hyperspeed. Definitely the right place to have sex, but not right now, unless Jeff and I were going to institute an Orgy Policy which I knew without asking Jeff was totally against.

  Buchanan and the rest of the Spaceship Recovery Team were there. They also had a Special Guest Star—Colonel Arthur Franklin, the man in charge of Andrews Air Force Base.

  “Arthur, it’s nice to see you. I hope, anyway.”

  He laughed. “Always good to see you, Kitty. And I’m here because I wanted to discuss our special equipment issue with all of you.”

  Jeff looked at Buchanan. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

  “Yes. Right where Drax said it would be.”

  “I’m not a liar,” Drax said huffily. “And the rest was not my fault.”

  “Dude, that tends to be my line. What happened?”

  Siler looked like he was trying not to laugh. Buchanan looked pissed. Wruck looked interested. And Drax looked defensive. Franklin, on the other hand, looked rather excited.

  “Are we safe to assume that the ship did not uncloak where the general populace could see it?” Chuckie asked.

  “Oh yes,” Franklin said. “Prince Gustav’s ship is safely housed in one of our larger hangars. One restricted to top security clearances only.”

  “So it’s Prince Gustav now? What gives? You said you eschewed the title.”

  “I did and do,” Drax muttered. “I’m not the one insisting on calling me that.”

  “I suggested it,” Wruck said. “Under the circumstances.”

  “What circumstances?” Jeff asked, sounding annoyed. “I’d like answers, gentlemen, not innuendos. As everyone’s told me every minute of every hour of the last few days, I have a country to run.”

  Tim and I exchanged a look. “You think?” he asked.

  “Oh, I do, I really do. Can I take a guess?”

  “Sure,” Buchanan said tiredly. “I’m willing to bet that you’re going to be right, Missus Executive Chief, because what’s going on is definitely in your wheelhouse.”

  “Super. So, how many Vatusan ships came searching for their Runaway Royal?”

  “Are you kidding me?” Jeff asked.

  “No, and only two,” Franklin said. “They were kind enough to remain cloaked and are also parked in our hangar. There’s room there for the stolen helicarrier, too, should it ever be found.”

  “You know, Vata were explained to us,” Tim said. “Why can’t you just mind-connect with your helicarrier and bring it back?” he
asked Drax.

  “I created it to be fully invulnerable to humans and Vata alike. Meaning I can’t connect to it because I have its system blocked from external influence. And if I can’t reach it, no one else can, either.”

  “This was confirmed by the four Royal Retainers,” Franklin said.

  “Four?” Jeff asked. “I thought you said there were two ships.”

  “There were,” Buchanan replied. “But they’re a lot smaller than what I think you’re expecting. Drax’s ship is reasonably large, presumably because he was bringing materials with him. The ships that the retainers are in? Those are about the size of a seven-forty-seven.”

  “They could have flown something the size of this planet with only two on board,” Drax said. “We connect to our ships to fly them. It’s, for us, a simple process, much easier than having a large crew. That was why and how I could come alone and use the interior space to carry my materials.”

  “And they came here from the Galactic Core?” Chuckie asked.

  Wruck nodded. “They’re faster than the Z’porrah.”

  “And we’ve experienced how fast the Z’porrah ships can jump. So, let’s ask the twenty-four-thousand-dollar question: what is it the retainers want?”

  “To ensure that His Royal Highness is safe and well,” Franklin said. “But they plan to stay here. Because that’s their job—to babysit your arms dealer.”

  “He’s not our arms dealer,” Jeff said. Drax looked hurt and Jeff grunted. “Not officially and not yet, at any rate. Where are they, these retainers?”

  “At the only place we could put them where they wouldn’t cause more problems,” Siler replied cheerfully. “The Alpha Centaurion Embassy.”

  CHAPTER 37

  “I’M MISSING ALL the good stuff. I was just there and chose to come here when I could have stayed longer and met our newest surprise guests. I’m bitter.”

  Jeff sighed. “Yes, I realize being in the White House is a letdown.”

  Felt bad. “Well, no. But my particular style isn’t suited to our new gig.”

  “You said that when we took over the Embassy, and everything worked out,” Jeff said.

  “So to speak,” Chuckie added.

  “Et tu, Brute?”

  “You know that she’s right and that all our enemies are going to exploit this weakness, too,” Reader said. “Kitty’s every evildoer’s Enemy Number One.”

  “Et tu, Brute Two?”

  “What do you suggest?” Jeff asked, sarcasm knob heading for eleven. “That I explain that my wife isn’t going to be around a lot because she’s off leading the armed forces?”

  “That could work,” Franklin said with a laugh. “But you can all relax. Frankly, the Vata were very pleasant, apologetic, and cooperative. I didn’t get the impression they were here to cause trouble. They’re here because they’ve been searching for their missing prince for two years. Your Concierge Majordomo said to tell you that all is being handled.”

  “Sounds about right for the timeline, and Pierre’s a national treasure. So, what did you find at Drax Industrial’s Sentient Headquarters?”

  “Pretty much what he said we’d find,” Buchanan replied. “But we left everything there. The building’s secure and it doesn’t appear to attract a lot of attention.”

  “Far less like a lair than his home,” Siler added. “Reminiscent of any factory you’ve ever seen, albeit extremely high tech. It’s clear he’s a tinkerer.”

  “As long as no one’s shooting at us from the catwalks, I’m good. So, Iron Man here has the skills, at least as far as we can tell?”

  Siler chuckled. “I liked Booster Gold better.”

  “Well, the jury’s still out on which one he gets to keep. Maybe both. I like to mix it up and keep everyone guessing.”

  Buchanan rolled his eyes. “Yes, you do. And it appears that Drax does have the Iron Man skills, so to speak. He now also has official babysitters. They said they weren’t leaving unless or until he was leaving.”

  “Do they look any different from Drax?”

  “They aren’t relatives, if that’s what you mean,” Franklin said.

  “No, she means can they pass for humans or not,” Siler said. “And yes, they can. Their hair is long just like his is. Hides the plates.”

  “Did you have time to do the robot and android tests?”

  “No,” Drax answered. “I was quite willing and still am, but my family interfered. Just as they always do.” He sounded as bitter and teenaged as I’d ever heard Stephanie or Lizzie sound. Interesting. Figured I should find out how Vata aged sooner as opposed to later.

  “Parents worry about their children. Oh, speaking of which, Nightcrawler, Lizzie’s been moved into the White House. Apparently the Elves feel that she needs the stuffy yet stable environment the White House will provide. And she’s enrolled at the Sidwell Friends School. If you have any issues, take it up with Vance and Pierre and good luck complaining to the Elves.”

  He looked surprised but not displeased. “That’s good, I guess. I kind of thought that we’d be staying in family quarters together, though, at the Embassy. Like we have been for the last few days.”

  “As did we all. However, wiser heads and all that. Apparently she’s now my ward. Don’t ask me, I don’t make these decisions. I apparently have people to do that.”

  “And yet she’s unhappy,” Jeff muttered to Chuckie.

  “She’s adaptable, but sometimes it takes her a while,” Chuckie replied. “You know how she is about wealth, she gets it from her father.”

  “I’m in the room and I’ll be offended for me and Dad both later on. So, here’s my question—are there any other Vata ships on our horizon?”

  “I asked,” Franklin said. “Multiple times and in various ways. The reply was a consistent no. They’ve found Prince Gustav, he’s safe and happy on Earth, that information has been relayed home, and they’re staying to guard him and help him with whatever it is they think he’s doing here.”

  “Does this happen to other Presidents?” Jeff asked. “I mean that seriously.”

  “Some have it worse, some have it better, but I can tell you that President Johnson definitely went through something like this,” Chuckie said. “When your emissaries first arrived.”

  “Good point.” Jeff ran his hand through his hair. “So, do we announce this?”

  “You don’t have to,” Franklin said. “I’d talk to Mort and Hammy about it, but I’d imagine they’ll both counsel that you keep this quiet. The Vata are in the Embassy. Keep them there for now and all should be well. Great choices, moving Mort and Hammy into the positions you did, by the way.”

  “I’d have moved you in, too, but everyone insisted we needed you to stay at Andrews.”

  “They were right. And I’m glad to be there—I find my job very rewarding, since I can confirm that I’m helping on a daily basis. Not everyone can say that.” He clapped Jeff on the shoulder. “You’re doing a great job. I realize the weight of the world is on your shoulders, but you’ll handle it and then some.”

  Franklin said goodbye and that he’d be in touch and we should feel free to call him day or night. Then Serene escorted him to the Executive Washroom where he took a gate back to the base.

  “Now what?” Tim asked.

  “Now Alpha Team takes him to Dulce,” Jeff nodded at Drax. “Do the tests Kitty wants done.”

  “Take the other Vata to do the tests, too.”

  This earned me looks. “Why?” Reader asked.

  “Five metal heads able to talk to electronics are better than one. Maybe one of them will catch what Drax doesn’t.”

  “That’s a security risk,” Chuckie said. “Having Drax in Dulce is a huge risk in the first place. Four other Vata there is a potential breach of epic proportions. And before you mention the religious aspect, I heard it already, and wh
ile I respect the idea of their beliefs, we’ve seen too many wars fought in the name of religion on this planet for me to trust that these Vata aren’t willing to do wrong against us if they feel it’s right for them.”

  “I’d argue this, but I conceded your point,” Drax said. “The only way for us to earn your trust, however, is for you to allow us to do so.”

  “He hasn’t launched the missiles,” I pointed out. “None of them have. I know you’re not a trusting person, Chuckie, but there has to be a middle ground.”

  “There is,” he said. “In the middle of Groom Lake.”

  “That works,” Reader said. “You want us doing that tonight?”

  “No, everyone needs some rest,” Jeff said. “Drax has been here two years and, as Kitty said, he hasn’t blown us up. I’m willing to err on the side of trust, at least at this level. Take him to the Embassy and keep him with you,” he said to Siler.

  “I’ll go, too,” Wruck said.

  “Please, and thank you. Can you handle all five of them if you have to?” Jeff sounded worried.

  Wruck nodded. “I can. Shape-shifting has its advantages.”

  “Where do you want me?” Buchanan asked.

  “I’d say here, but I’ll try to keep an eye on my wife tonight. So, the Embassy might be the better choice.”

  “I agree.” Buchanan shot me a half-smile. “Try to stay out of trouble for a few hours, will you, Missus Executive Chief?”

  “Everyone’s a hater.”

  “We’ll stay at the Embassy, too,” Reader indicated himself and Tim. “Serene, here or Dulce?”

  “I’ll go to Dulce and get the Groom Lake test area set up for us.”

  “I’m still living in the Embassy,” Chuckie pointed out. “So I’ll be there, too.” He sighed. “I need to find somewhere else to live now, though.” Jeff opened his mouth and Chuckie put up his hand. “The Director of the CIA cannot live at the American Centaurion Embassy, Jeff.”

  “Or the White House, so don’t suggest that either, Jeff. But it’s fine, I know where you’re going, Chuckie, never fear.” Sent a text to Pierre, who said he’d handle the request with the Elves immediately.