Camp Alien

by Gini Koch

  “Oh. Wow. I’m an idiot. Jerry, I know what I need you guys to do.”

  “Great! What?”

  “I need you to arm and drop every bomb you have on board.”

  CHAPTER 96

  “KITTY, ARE YOU HIGH? Or being impersonated?” Jerry sounded worried.

  “No, I think I just figured it out.” Memory nudged, presumably because my Crazy Gene was working again. “By the way, what about the helipad? I know it’s here, we looked at it.”

  “It’s far from where you are, relatively speaking. We could try it, but we have no A-Cs on board, so we can’t get anything to you guys that way. Including bombs.”

  “I don’t want you to get something to us, I want to get something to you. How long will it take you to go invisible and land?”

  Heard Jerry asking this of Hughes. “Three minutes, tops.”

  “Great. Make it so. The moment you land, lower the boarding ramp. I’m sending the Vata to you. Then, get back into the air, which should give me time to get the people more out of the way.”

  “Oh, good luck with that.”

  Outlined what I wanted the helicarrier to do once the Vata were at the controls while I tugged at Jeff and the others. “We need to get the people out of the way. Either by getting them underground or just out of blast radius. And once we have, I want those bombs dropping and dropping hot.”

  Everyone who could hear me stared at me. They all said that I was obviously giving up and doing the grand last stand. The only ones who weren’t were Jeff and Christopher.

  “I’ll call you back to give you the bombing go-ahead. If you don’t hear from me in five minutes, tops, Jerry, then start your bombing run.” Hung up and put my phone back into my back pocket. My music changed to “My Girl” by Aerosmith, so I knew that Algar approved. “Seriously, gang, the Vata need to get to the helicarrier and the rest of us need to get people underground or out of the way. Now.”

  Jeff looked at me. “Going with the crazy?”

  “God, I hope so,” Christopher said.

  I nodded. “It’s what I do.”

  Jeff grinned. “Everybody, underground or out of the way, now!” Potentially his best bellow yet. “The only targets we want are robots or superbeings!”

  Grabbed Christopher’s arm. “Get all the Vata to the helipad. Do you know where it is?”

  “No idea.”

  Jeff shoved through the small crowed and grabbed Drax. “Get your countrymen to you now.”

  Drax shouted something I didn’t catch and Tevvik and the others moved to him. “Link up,” Christopher said, as he grabbed Tevvik’s hand. He nodded to Jeff. “You steer.” He grabbed Jeff’s hand and the seven of them disappeared.

  Spent the time they were gone shooting the Samarapusses and doing a fast headcount. “Where are Rohini and Bettini?”

  “I think in the tunnel,” Randy said. “Christopher got them out just before the superbeing encircled the portable city. They insisted on going last. I think he took them straight to the tunnels because he didn’t want to deal with them self-sacrificing.”

  “Good man.”

  “Thanks,” Christopher said as he and Jeff returned. “The Vata are in the helicarrier, but they’re being watched by the humans on board, and by watched I mean that all the humans have weapons at the Vata’s heads.”

  “They’re our allies.”

  Christopher shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. They know it’s just in case.”

  “The weapons are being aimed casually,” Jeff said.

  “I’m sure that’s so much better. Fine, I’ll worry about the diplomatic issues later. Okay, Christopher, I want you to get the foreign dignitaries underground. You’re the only one who’s going to have the best chance of that.”

  “I know where it is—I had to take the Shantanu there because—”

  “Randy told me. Wise choice.”

  He snorted a laugh. “Thanks. I can get the others, but I know Renata won’t go and I also know I can’t make her.” He nodded toward the queen who was fighting with her daughters. The battle staffs were effective against the tentacles, so one for the win column.

  “Fine. Renata’s the exception. Get all the others underground. We cannot have these people killed on Earth soil.”

  He grinned. “Got it. I’ve got the diplomatic part of this job.” With that he grabbed Alexander and King Benny, who were nearest to hand, and took off.

  “Everyone, I now want anyone with hyperspeed backing toward the outer perimeters of the compound.” Might as well keep the fighters who could go fast out and available. “Humans, link up. You’re going underground, regardless of who you are.”

  “That means you,” Jeff said to Chuckie, Reader, and Tim. “I need people we can trust underground. And that’s an extremely executive order.”

  Grabbed Chuckie’s hand and took the gun from him. “One at a time or all together, guys. What’s going to be best in the long run, do you think?”

  Reader took Chuckie’s hand while Jeff picked up one of the bazookas that was on the ground—hard to shoot a rocket launcher safely when you were in a protective circle. “Hurry up,” Jeff said. “We have a lot of people in danger right now. Joe, Randy, link up.”

  “Six Million Dollar Men get to stay,” Randy said.

  “We’re not fully human anymore, Jeff,” Joe added. “So we’re not going.”

  Reader grabbed Tim’s arm and I took off. In the time we’d been discussing this, Christopher had gotten at least six of the visiting aliens into the underground area.

  Was able to shoot and run, which was all thanks to the high level of rage and action-driven adrenaline I was riding on. Spotted some other groups scattered about. Shoved the guys into the Aspen Lodge and did a fast check to make sure nothing bad was inside here. Chuckie had the elevator ready. “There are stairs under the service porch if you need them. Be careful, Kitty.”

  “I will do, and you guys do the same. Please don’t sneak out—I gave Jerry the bombing order and I know the guys are going to follow it. And I’m not mad at any of you anymore so I don’t want you to die.”

  They all managed to smile, nodded, and got into the elevator as Christopher shoved two more into it and took off. The doors closed and I pulled my phone back out. “Kitty, you okay?” Jerry asked. “We’re ready to bomb. Should we hold off?”

  “Yeah, glad I got through, we still have too many people out to let you start dropping bombs. I’m going to keep you on the line, okay? You can talk me in to find missing people, then you’ll know for sure when we’re all out of range. Or would you prefer I do this with Tito?”

  “Nah, do it with me. Tito’s in charge of the Vata. They like him more than us.”

  “He’s not aiming a gun at their heads.”

  “True. They also aren’t aware that he can kill them with his bare hands.”

  “Works for me. I’m probably not going to be chatty.”

  “And that works for me. I know how this rolls, Commander. When you get out, go to your right.” Shoved my phone into my back pocket again and took off, too.

  Headed toward the area Jerry had said, which was one where I’d seen people on the way over. These were fighting Fem-Bots and some were A-Cs. “All Centaurion Personnel—get all the humans you can grab and either run for the perimeters or the underground entrances. That’s a direct order.” Shot a couple of the Fem-Bots for emphasis. The agents looked at me, then at the Fem-Bots. Heaved a sigh. “Aerosmith rules, guys. Figure it out or I’ll go all FLOTUS on your asses.”

  They grinned, nodded, grabbed the military personnel they were with, and took off for the cabin, since they were closer to that. Shot the rest of the Fem-Bots they’d been fighting. Made some dents, but not enough, and decided it was time to get back to my program, especially since Jerry suggested that stopping to kill things they were hoping to kill in a minute o
r two wasn’t smart.

  Had to dodge around a group of Samarapusses that were fighting Fem-Bots. So far, the only battle that I felt was going great regardless of outcome.

  Not just the portable city was down or damaged. Amazingly enough, Aspen Lodge was basically unscathed, but could not say the same thing for a good number of the buildings I passed. Tried not to contemplate just what this would mean for Jeff’s Presidency—we had to survive this in order for him to actually have a Presidency.

  Managed to find Siler and Wruck, who were still dealing with Fem-Bots but also trying to handle a couple of Samarapusses. “Where are the marines?” I asked as I skidded to a stop next to them and blasted a Fem-Bot.

  “Dead, moved off, or turned into superbeings,” Siler said shortly.

  Someone blasted the Samarapus nearest to us with a bazooka. “Why are you stopping everywhere to chat?” Jeff asked as he reloaded from the Santa Ammo Sack he was now carrying and sent another round into the closest Samarapus.

  “I’m a friendly person. Where’s the android body of Harpaz?”

  “Got it underground,” Siler said. “Via an A-C named Colette. She said she worked for you. The three Mossad agents with her vouched for her.”

  “She does.” Relayed this info to Jerry, who confirmed that Colette and the frozen Harpaz android were underground. Our Mossad friends, however, were not.

  Wruck, who was in human form, looked up. “Did you call for air support?”

  Looked where he was. There were helicopters in the air. Squinted. They didn’t look military. “I think those are news helicopters. I’ve got an open line with Jerry—can you confirm?”

  “Sadly, I can confirm such indeed, Commander. No military, all cameras.”

  Relayed the happy news. “Of course they are,” Jeff said as he fired the bazooka, reloaded, and fired again. “What else would they be?”

  “So much for Serene being able to keep media under control. I assume that whoever tipped off the press that I’d been kidnapped tipped them off for this, too.”

  “Probably. Let’s get anyone without hyperspeed underground.” Jeff fired the bazooka then looked at Siler. “I have no idea where Lizzie is. I’m sorry, she wouldn’t go underground and we’ve lost track of her.” Tried not to let my stomach clench. Failed.

  “We’ll find her,” Siler said. “Are we sticking with you two?”

  “Probably for the best.” Looked around. “Where did The Clarence Clone go?”

  “I have no idea,” Jeff said as he hit the Samarapus a seventh time with the rocket blast and it sort of blew apart. Only sort of, though. “Why did you have Brian bring him, anyway? And I have no idea where Brian is, while we’re at it.”

  “Lizzie and I think Stephanie’s behind most if not all of this, meaning he might be all we can use against her.”

  “Won’t help if you’ve lost him,” Wruck said.

  “Based on what I’m hearing, Commander, I can’t identify anyone specifically. We still have to stay too far up and everyone’s moving around too much. There are a ton of people still around, so if you want us to start bombing, get them out of there.”

  “Jerry said there are a lot of people here. We need to keep moving and get them all to the perimeter or underground.”

  Headed off, Jerry directing me to the nearest sets of people, the men following behind me. Cabins weren’t the only things damaged by now. Trees were down, foliage was trampled or stained with black acid, and if there was wildlife it had hopefully all scrambled off for safer pastures. Individuals we passed, Jeff ordered to disengage and get to the perimeter or Siler used hyperspeed to take them to Aspen and the underground, depending.

  “There’s something wrong with the Samarapusses,” I said as we reached a clutch of A-Cs and military that were penned in by a Samarapus, Jr.

  “Beyond how they reproduce, you mean?” Jeff asked as he shot a tentacle off with the bazooka and Siler ran in to grab the humans. “Get out!” Jeff bellowed, since some of the A-Cs were just standing there, clearly not sure if they should run or fight.

  “Yes. They don’t smell.” Focused on shooting off another tentacle. “And I haven’t seen a parasite, have you?”

  “Got a good look at the first one’s mouth when it was eating the guns I was trying grab and there was no parasite that I could see. But that just means it’s internal.”

  “Or that these were created in a lab.”

  “Don’t tell me you want to preserve these for study.”

  “No, but I think we’ll want to ensure that Dulce gets the remains.”

  “Love your optimism, baby.” He shouted orders and the A-Cs seemed to get it. They grabbed humans and took off. Hopefully for safety.

  We left the still-fighting Samarapus and headed off again. It tried to come after us, but the tentacles didn’t make it easy for them to move fast on land. One small favor in a giant pool of acidic ink.

  We wove in and out of the area at hyperspeed, systematically clearing out people while Jerry directed me. Christopher joined us when we were about halfway done. We linked to him and did the rest of the area at the really fast hyperspeed.

  Cleared the entire Camp David area other than the helipad and skeet shooting range without finding the people we knew were here—like Lizzie and White. Hughes had the open line to Uncle Mort who was confirming underground arrivals as they happened, so we knew who we were missing.

  “Jerry, what’s our status for people still aboveground?”

  “There are several groups along the perimeter, all hugging the fences, and all moving toward the main entrance, meaning they’re heading for the helipad where we landed. Cannot confirm anyone’s identity via visual, though.”

  We were back by Aspen, and it was time to wonder if I needed to have Christopher, Siler, and Wruck force Jeff into the underground. The Original Samarapus was there, still trying to spear anyone it could. And it had people to spear, since this was where Leah, Jakob, and Oren were.

  They were doing damage, but it was so big and there were only three of them. It was miraculous that they weren’t hurt. Watched them all leap, dodge, jump, and roll away from the various tentacles. Okay, it was skill. But all it was going to take was one mistake.

  “We need to get them.”

  Christopher let go of us, ran off at his Flash level, and grabbed the three of them, depositing them with the rest of us. “Get underground,” Jeff said as Christopher brought Jakob over to join Oren and Leah, all of them looking dazed from the speed. “That’s an order. We need you alive to verify that the android wasn’t something we created.”

  Grabbed Leah’s hand and ran her to the service porch. “There are stairs under here. Supposedly.” Not that I saw any.

  “There,” Oren said, as he joined us and pointed to something that Jakob pulled up. Sure enough, what looked like a floor was a trapdoor with stairs leading down.

  “Be safe and guard my kids. And my parents. If, you know . . .”

  “We know,” Leah said. Then they all hugged me quickly and ran down. Closed the door. “Jerry, I think it’s time. Let’s test my plan on Samarapus, Senior, shall we?”

  “With pleasure, Commander. Please run if one’s falling toward you guys—they will go off in five seconds.”

  Sure enough, bombs started falling from above like giant, nasty hail. Started counting to five. And, happily, Samarapus, Senior saw them.

  It grabbed them out of the air in its tentacles and shoved them up under itself, where its mouth was.

  “Four one thousand. Five.”

  Jerry had been quite accurate. And results were immediate.

  CHAPTER 97

  THE SAMARAPUS’ body started doing that thing where it looks like the giant monster who’s swallowed the explosives is blowing up inside first. Presumably because that’s exactly what was happening.

  “Time to go,” J
eff said. Christopher nodded and hit the hyperspeed button. The Samarapus exploded as we ran off, spraying parts all over the place. We just missed getting splattered.

  “Boy, is the pool going to need cleaning.”

  “That’s the least of our worries,” Jeff said. He pointed. More bombs were dropping, and the helicarrier was also firing at the Samarapusses and the Fem-Bots.

  “Get underground, Commander,” Jerry said.

  Looked back. “Ah, can’t. There’s blown up Samarapus, Senior all over the place and it looks dangerous.”

  “Head for the helipad, then. We’ll pick up all aboveground personnel when we’re done with the bombing.”

  “Will do. Christopher, get us to the helipad.”

  We zoomed there, avoiding a couple of Samarapus the Thirds I told Jerry about. The rest of those aboveground had headed here, too, as Jerry had said. Most of them were A-Cs, including Daniel, Joshua, Marcus and Lucas, but thankfully Len, Kyle, Adriana, Joe, Randy, and our Amazon Family Fighters were there, too.

  “Need to check out this area to see if we have any stragglers,” I said to Jeff.

  He nodded. “Christopher, keep everyone here, but get them out to the main gate if needed. We’re going to do recon.”

  Christopher nodded and started getting everyone into formation in case they had to run away or run onto the helicarrier.

  There was a newer, sturdy-looking building here, as well as a parking lot where most of our cars were. “Well, we can drive out if we have to.”

  “Only if they left the keys.”

  We searched the building quickly—and it was a basketball court, go me for the accurate guess earlier—but found no one. We got to the far side of it to be rewarded by actually finding the rest of the people we were looking for. Lizzie, White, Abigail, Mahin, Brian, and TCC were in a circle with their backs to each other. None of them looked hurt, but none had weapons, either. Would have been relieved, only they weren’t alone.

  They weren’t surrounded by Fem-Bots or Samarapusses. They were surrounded by androids. Naked ones, but still, androids. The androids all looked like Thomas Kendrick, sort of, but without boy parts, which was so very familiar. And they all had guns and they were aimed at the people in the inner circle.