The Silent Sounds of Chaos

by Kristina Circelli

  * * * *

  The Silent Sounds of Chaos

  © 2015 by Kristina Circelli

  Editing by Juli’s Elite Editing

  Cover by Najla Qamber Designs

  Formatting by JT Formatting

  All rights reserved.

  Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  License Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  For Kristi

  To meeting in weird ways and having it just make sense.

  “Dark, twisty, and mysterious, The Silent Sounds of Chaos kept me teetering on the edge of my seat while frantically tearing through the pages for answers, I was so ensnared within its web.”

  – Heather Lyons, Author of The Collectors’ Society Series

  “Wow. Twists, turns, raw emotion, this book literally has it all. I could not put it down.”

  – Emily Cyr, Author of the Vampire Favors Series

  “I was a prisoner from the first word. Watching the story. Living the story. Holding my breath until the very last word, when everything fell into place.”

  – Kristi Strong, Author of the Kaldalangra Series

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  THE BOY HUDDLED in the farthest corner of his tiny closet, bony shoulders pressed up against the cheap, paneled walls of an already falling-apart trailer. In his hands he twisted the thin metal of a paper clip, creating loops and shapes until they formed a stick man, just one of many he’d created to distract himself from the sounds filling his run-down home.

  Through the thin walls of his bedroom he could hear the source of his fear—two voices engaged in a verbal sparring match in the next room. One of them he knew, a shockingly thin woman with unwashed blonde hair and sunken blue eyes that, in the past, may have matched his own. The other he knew from many nights such as these, a tall and wide man with frightening pictures on his arms. Their shouts filled him with fear, the woman accusing the man of doing terrible things, the man ordering her to pay or else he’d do those terrible things again.

  Their hate, their anger, sent him into the closet, where he often hid when his mother’s visitors gave him those strange and calculating looks. His arms wrapped around a soft, yellow blanket almost as big as he was, one he’d kept at his side for as long as his young mind could remember. Face buried in the yellow comfort, he tried hard not to be afraid.

  Tonight his fear felt different. He felt different, so tired and scared and hurting from a night he’d lived too many times in his young life. But, more than tired—he felt a part of himself fade away into nothingness, only to be replaced by the same hate filling the voices outside his room.

  One tiny hand pressed over an ear, the other holding the blanket to his chest, as his body began to rock ever so slightly. He concentrated on the roaring in his ears rather than the thud of a body hitting the hollow floor, or the whimpers from a broken woman who’d given up long ago.

  Make it stop.

  In his head he whispered the silent plea to anyone who could help him, anyone who could hear the unspoken words of a little boy trapped in his bedroom closet. No one had ever heard him before, but maybe, just maybe, tonight would be different.

  Please make it stop.

  And then, by magic or miracle, his plea was answered.

  I will protect you.

  The voice whispered inside his mind, fluttering through his senses in a way that almost tickled. The boy stilled, listening carefully for the voice again, a quiet, high-pitched tone he felt like he should know, but couldn’t quite place.

  When he heard only the rushing in his ears, he reached out. Hello?

  I will protect you, the voice said again, a girl’s voice.

  He knew he should probably be afraid of a stranger magically talking to him, but he liked the sound of this particular stranger. It sounded like music when she spoke, and distracted him from the screeching and thudding going on outside the safety of his mind.

  Who are you? he asked, and could almost feel the hesitation on the other end.

  I’m not supposed to tell strangers my name … Are you real?

  He huffed. Of course I’m real.

  How can I hear you?

  He thought about it, not coming up with an answer. Nor did he want to admit to silently praying for help, help that came in the form of her innocent proclamation. Dunno.

  I heard you, she insisted. I heard you crying in my head.

  I wasn’t crying.

  Well, if you say so … Are you sure you’re real?

  Are you? he countered, trying to comprehend the fluttering in his mind amidst the shouting through the walls.

  I think so.

  How old are you?

  Seven.

  Me too. He felt a strange twinge of satisfaction that she wasn’t older, and that they had something in common. Who are you? Again, he sensed hesitation. I’m not a stranger.

  Are too.

  Fine. He huffed again and squeezed his eyes shut. It was almost fun, blocking out the entire world and focusing only on the person living in his brain. Then let’s pretend to be other people. I wanna be … an explorer, and have lots of adventures and cause lots of trouble, and run away whenever I feel like it. He heard her giggle in his mind, and instantly loved the sound. Who are you?

  I wanna be … a princess! The prettiest princess in the world who makes friends with everyone and talks to all the animals.

  What a girl.

  Hey!

  He grimaced at himself, forgetting that this strange new girl could hear all his thoughts. Sorry … I don’t know what to call you. You need a name.

  You think of one, she giggled at him.

  He thought, long and hard. Okay. How about … I know! Can I call you Snow? Like the princess all the girls at school talk about?


  Can I call you Finn? Like the little boy I saw in a movie at school who ran away to live on the river?

  They agreed upon their new names, and, with their introductions, the two children were no longer strangers.

  He talked to her through the night, the menacing sounds around him disappearing as he listened to her talk in her youthful, high-pitched voice. She told him about her life living by the beach, with a mother and father who were very nice to her. She liked to read, and watch movies with princesses, and wanted to learn how to swim. It was a happy life, he could tell, and yet, he sensed loneliness in her tone, though he couldn’t identify its source.

  She listened to him until morning, wondering why he sounded so scared when his words first filtered through her mind, enjoying the way his tone relaxed as the night wore on. He told her about his life in a run-down trailer park, with a mother who paid more attention to strange men and things with weird smells. He liked to skateboard, and hang out with his friends, and hoped to be on a football team someday. It was a hard life, she imagined sadly, and yet, she knew he faced each day with the kind of mischievousness only boys could cause.

  When she grew quiet, no longer responding, he worried she had grown tired of his stories.

  “Don’t leave me,” he whispered out loud, not wanting her to hear his childish plea. Deep down he hoped she was only tired, that he’d kept her up too late. Her, the voice in his head, a stranger who probably didn’t really exist. But he didn’t want to give her up, because giving her up would mean accepting the reality around him. And so, instead of saying good-bye or goodnight, the boy now named Finn decided to make her his.

  Just before they both drifted off to sleep, one in a closet, and one in a bed an unknown number of miles away, he needed to hear her voice one last time.

  Will you be my friend, Snow?

  Forever, Finn.

  He was in his bed when he woke, though he didn’t remember getting there from the closet. The room was warm—air-conditioning was something he only enjoyed at school and the convenience store on the corner—and smelled funny, though that was pretty normal. Flashbacks of the night before played in Finn’s head. The shouts. The man with pictures on his arms. The bad things he threatened to do.

  “I hate this stupid house and the people in it,” he muttered, crawling from the small bed and wincing at the soreness in his body from being crouched in the closet for so long. He stretched as he pulled on a stained white shirt and torn jeans, then walked out of his room, creeping around the corner and hoping his mother was still asleep so he could sneak out of the house. Not entirely sure what day it was, he decided it felt enough like the weekend, and didn’t feel like going to school. His favorite hangout was where he needed to be.

  All was quiet, which wasn’t surprising. Finn didn’t bother looking for his mother—or anything to eat—before he slid outside and raced across the front yard. There was a dark car in the driveway; another thing that wasn’t surprising, given his mom’s frequent visitors. A shout behind him nearly had the boy turning, but he decided against it, picking up his pace until he reached his destination.

  The cemetery was his favorite place to go. It was the perfect hiding place, so easy to duck around sprawling oak trees and behind decades-old tombstones. Bad guys covered in ugly pictures couldn’t find him here. Plus, he enjoyed the silence found only in the well-groomed gardens. There were no fights, no names being screamed at him. Just him and his thoughts.

  This time, though, Finn sought more than the silence.

  He sat with his back against the tree he loved most, staring into a patch of yellow flowers, concentrating on his thoughts as he tried to channel the girl who came to him in thought last night. He didn’t know what she looked like or even her real name. All he could use was the connection he felt to her, one that hadn’t left him since last night. It was like the feeling he got when he sensed someone standing behind him. Except, more welcome, like the person coming to see him was a friend.

  Snow?

  Only the chirping birds and rustling leaves answered his call. So he tried again. Snow? Can you hear me?

  Confused by her disappearance, and a little worried she wasn’t real after all, Finn plucked a few blades of grass, twisting them in his thin fingers. He refused to believe he’d just made her up because he was scared. Plus, he could feel her in his body. Somehow, he knew he wasn’t alone, his new friend filling an empty void he’d never even known he had until last night.

  Snow? Do you … do you still want to be friends? The question made him sigh and look down at the grass. He’d worked the blades into the crude shape of a person, with rounded arms and legs and a frayed head.

  “Fine,” he said to the grass with a smirk, just as his stomach growled. “You’ll be Snow since she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.”

  Torn between disappointment and hunger, Finn chose a brief moment of play, imagining his new friend Snow in her fancy life somewhere else, with parents who loved her. Though, he couldn’t imagine not being able to swim. That’s just weird. Who doesn’t know how to swim?!

  The grass figure moved atop the ground smoothly, over to a piece of fallen bark. “Make me some bacon,” Finn murmured to a nonexistent parent, then danced the character on top of a rock. “And you, put on some cartoons!”

  As his mind replayed old cartoons he sometimes watched at friends’ houses, Finn let himself drift out of the real world. The cemetery was the only place he could escape and he intended to enjoy every minute of solitude.

  “Hey!”

  A call behind him had the boy turning, seeing one of the girls who lived down the street from him standing at the metal fence surrounding the cemetery garden. He liked her, especially since she was good at racing and never asked to come inside his trailer. “What?”

  “Cops are at your house!”

  Finn was on his feet in an instant, shoving the grass woman in his pant pocket before jogging over to the gate. “What do they want?”

  “How should I know?” she retorted, dark hair blowing in her face when the breeze picked up. She pushed it back with a grimace. “Ma said to come find you and let you know.”

  They ran back together, his friend offering a quick wave before turning at the end of the street, leaving Finn to make the rest of the trip alone. When he approached, he saw the same car in the driveway, except now there was a man and woman standing by the back. The woman was writing something on a pad of paper sitting on the trunk while the man—dressed like a cop—stood watch. Both turned when he all but skidded to a stop in front of them.

  “Who are you?” Finn challenged the woman before either could speak, breath heavy from the run. He crossed his arms in a childish attempt to look tough, the move mimicking the sneer crossing his face at her nice clothes. People who dressed like that didn’t come into his neighborhood unless they wanted something. And when they did, they usually wanted something bad. The fact that she brought a cop along told Finn this woman was trouble.

  With a gentle smile, the strange woman lowered herself to her knees so she was at the boy’s level. “Hi, sweetie. My name is—”

  “I don’t care. What do you want?”

  Now the policeman stepped forward, his expression just as gentle. Finn was surprised, given how snotty he knew he sounded, and since cops were never nice when they came knocking on doors on his street. “Son, we got a call from one of your neighbors about some loud noises last night. Are you okay?”

  “Don’t I look okay?” The question wasn’t meant to be answered, and he followed it up with another. “When are you leaving?”

  The woman continued to stare at him, her bright eyes seeming to see enough to make him uncomfortable. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

  His back straightened at that. “I’m fine. Just playing with my friends. I’m going to get some food now.”

  Finn was surprised when they let him leave, though they didn’t drive away like he expected them to. Sparing them a suspicious glare, he stomped up the front s
tep and slipped inside, locking the door behind him.

  “The hell you been telling people?”

  His mother’s palm met his cheek just seconds after he stepped inside. Finn could only hold the side of his face and stare as she raged, fury mixed with fear swimming in her eyes. She spun around and dropped to the floor, rooting through one of the kitchen cabinets. He knew what she was looking for. She only ever paid that much attention to one thing, though he was surprised she actually had to look for it. Glancing around, he saw it was weirdly clean for once, no cans or bottles on the floor or cigarette butts in the ashtray.

  He didn’t have time to wonder where all the junk had gone or who cleaned up before his mother pulled out a glass bottle and swung back around to face her son. “You think you can get somethin’ better out there? Think you deserve somethin’ better?”

  “No,” he replied quietly, staring at his feet. “I didn’t talk to anyone.”

  “Then why are those people outside, huh? Why did they want to come in here and talk to me? To you?”

  “I don’t know.” He wasn’t lying, which made her anger even more hurtful to the child. “I don’t know who they are, I swear.”

  Bony fingers gripped his chin, jerking his head up so he was forced to look into her eyes. His mother was in one of her raging moods, but she was also scared—and that scared him in return. “Well I know who those people are,” she told him, chapped lips pulling back into a snarl. “And let me tell you, boy, if you talk to them, and they get you, then your life will be hell. You hear me?”

  His life was already hell, though he didn’t voice that opinion. “I hear you, Momma. I promise I didn’t talk to them. I remember what you said.”

  “You better. You better never talk to anyone. People are liars. People will take everything you got until you’re on the streets. You want to be on the streets?” she repeated the words he’d heard his entire life.

  “No.” The reply was but a whisper, though there was an edge to it. An edge she heard, and reared back to smack him again, but he yanked out of her grasp and darted away to the safety of his room, back to his closet with the soft yellow blanket lying forgotten on the floor.