Gateway to Heaven

by BETH KERY

  “But Christian hadn’t been,” Megan said staunchly.

  Caroline laughed. “No, Christian is as loyal as an old dog once he’s decided where his allegiances lie.” She studied Megan with kind eyes. “He doesn’t give his loyalty easily,” she said softly.

  Megan just nodded. Her heart seemed to have swollen and pressed uncomfortably against her breastbone.

  Caroline smiled. “You can trust your feelings. I have the impression they won’t steer you wrong.” She patted Megan briskly on the back of her hand. “Now, how about a lesson?”

  Chapter 13

  Megan conquered her embarrassment later that afternoon as she faced Jeff at the doorman’s station.

  “Jeff, do you know if Christian is at home?”

  “Yeah, he’s up there. Seth Down just went up a little while ago.”

  “Oh,” Megan paused, uncertain. Maybe she should try to see him later, when he wasn’t busy?

  “Do you want to go on up to his place?” Jeff asked.

  Megan looked surprised. “You would let me?”

  Jeff shrugged. “Chris put you on the permanent list of people that I could let on the elevator without calling him first.”

  “When?”

  “I don’t know. Last week sometime, I guess, when he told me that you were coming up to his place for dinner. I started to make a temporary note of it, but then Chris asked for the permanent permission form. It’s a pretty short list, so I tend to remember it.”

  “Oh,” Megan murmured, stunned.

  “So are you going up?” Jeff asked after a moment, obviously confused by her behavior.

  “No…yes. Could you call him to tell him that I’m on my way?”

  “I’ll call him, but he might not hear. If they’re working, Chris can’t hear the phone sometimes. That’s why he uses the list.”

  Megan nodded in understanding as she waited for Jeff to release the control on the private elevator. Given Jeff’s warning, she half expected to hear music when she stepped off the elevator, but the loft was as silent as a grave. For a second, she wondered if it was empty. Then she saw Seth and Christian sitting over on the couch. Both their gazes were on her as she stepped off the elevator.

  “Hey, Megan,” Seth said. Even though he greeted her with a smile he stood as though he were leaving.

  “Hi,” Megan said with a tremulous smile as he walked toward her.

  “Later, Chris.”

  Christian grunted incoherently from where he sat over on the couch. His stare hadn’t left her since she’d walked off the elevator. She looked at Seth uncertainly as he passed. “You don’t have to leave on my account, Seth.”

  Seth threw a quick backward glance at Christian and grinned wryly. He pushed the call button for the elevator. “Don’t worry about it. He’s not much good to me today, anyway.”

  The elevator door closed and Megan turned around, acutely aware that she was alone with the man who sat broodingly over on the couch. Neither of them spoke as she walked over to him. She studied him anxiously. He looked much the same as he had when she’d seen him earlier at church.

  “You look tired,” she said.

  He gave a small shrug. His eyes on her were alight with emotion. But still, he didn’t speak.

  “I…wanted to apologize,” she said.

  “Why?” Christian asked bluntly.

  “For saying those things I said last night. I didn’t mean them. I was just feeling sort of…overwhelmed by everything.”

  “It’s not a wonder. I knew you were feeling vulnerable,” he said dully.

  “Oh.” Megan paused, feeling awkward. “But you’re still mad at me?”

  “How in the hell could you think I was mad you?” He asked so starkly that Megan started. “I can’t understand why you’re always apologetic. I’ve never seen you do a thing that deserved an apology on your part.”

  Her mouth fell open in shock. “I slapped you. I said you were manipulative and…sneaky,” she reminded him.

  “Christ.” He swept back his tousled hair with restless fingers. His eyes blazed when he looked at her again. “I was mad in the beginning, that’s true. But deep down, I knew that you were running scared. I even understood why. I got it.”

  “So what’s wrong?” she asked with mounting uneasiness.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, incredulous that she would ask such a question when the answer was so obvious. “What’s wrong is that I got it. I understood why you were so upset. But I didn’t pause and listen. I didn’t listen to my better nature. What’s wrong is that I made love to you for the first time in anger…on a couch… I hadn’t even taken a shower, for God’s sake,” He paused for a moment, seeming to choke on his words. “I knew what the consequences were, and I just went ahead anyway. Heaven forbid that anyone else’s needs should stop me when I was fully cocked and loaded and ready to go.”

  For a few seconds, Megan just stared at him in amazement. But when understanding dawned, her disbelief turned to anger.

  “Don’t you dare, Christian Lasher.” His eyes widened slightly when he heard the low fury vibrating her voice.

  Tears flooded her eyes, but she’d never been so angry in her life. When she saw his confusion, her anger only amplified. She pointed at him accusingly.

  “Don’t you dare put down last night. It was special and rare. Maybe you’re thinking I’m not much of an expert, but I can only tell you how I feel. If you’re even concerned about that at this point, instead of being wrapped up in some fantasy of how you think I should feel.”

  He looked slain.

  “How…how do you feel?” he asked slowly after a moment.

  He sat up straighter, his gaze narrowing on her. Megan noticed the subtle shift in him and she paused in the midst of her tirade. She became aware that he was suddenly listening with focused attention. It made her voice soften, but her shoulders were still held back stiffly.

  “You made me feel like a very desirable woman. It was what I needed. It was what I needed more than anything.”

  “I wasn’t gentle with you.”

  “You were perfect with me.”

  For a moment, neither of them spoke. Both of them were both seeing memories of their lovemaking in the other’s eyes.

  “I could have hurt you,” he ground out, raw emotion vibrating his voice.

  “But you didn’t, Christian. Not until you walked out the door after I’d just experienced the most…” Megan’s voice dropped suddenly as shyness overwhelmed her.

  He was on the edge of the couch now. “The most what?”

  Megan gave a helpless shrug and several tears spilled down her cheek. “The most everything. You made me come alive. Maybe you think it should have been another way. I don’t know about any of that. But the way you loved me was honest, and passionate, and…so good.” Her voice broke. “Maybe caution was what was called for, but it’s not what I needed. I needed just what you gave me. All of yourself. No half-measures. You burned me until I was clean and whole again.”

  He made a ragged sound.

  One second, they were feet apart, and the next, she was in his arms.

  He held her face with one hand and sipped the tears from her cheeks. He kissed her eyelids, and her forehead, and her nose with passionate tenderness. When Megan opened her eyes she saw that his eyes were blazing, but moist with emotion.

  “I’ve been feeling guilty.”

  “I know.”

  Her fingertips traced his sleek goatee. “Maybe…” She paused for a second uncertainly. Christian watched in rapt fascination as her tongue anxiously licked at the full lower lip that he’d begun to picture regularly in his fantasies. “Maybe if we did it again, you would know that everything is okay.”

  The smile that ghosted his mouth made desire snake through her all the way from her throat to the juncture of her thighs.

  “How is it that you keep seducing me with so much finesse, honey, when you’re supposed to be the inexperienced one?”

  “I wasn’t�
�� I didn’t…”

  He grinned crookedly and ducked his head to kiss her softly, then with increasing desire. Megan’s head swam under the influence of his familiar, intoxicating scent and taste. She didn’t like to think about how just this morning, she’d wondered if she’d ever taste him again. The memory made her savor him. She slicked her tongue along his straight, white teeth. She sought deeply in his mouth, curious about what lay just behind her tongue’s reach. He moaned and she swallowed, making his desire her own.

  He spread his large hands, his pinky finger sunk into her waist, his middle fingers studied the structure of her ribcage and his thumbs caressed the swells of the lower curve of her breasts.

  “I love how you’re made” he said gruffly while his lips molded hers. “You’re so small, I feel like I’m holding your heart in my hands.”

  “You are,” she whispered. “You are.”

  “Megan,” he muttered with feeling. He took her hand. She followed him down the hallway.

  “I’ll have to take your word for it that you really did like making love on the couch last night. But for my part, I require a bed to make as free with you as I plan.” His eyes sparked with both amusement and desire as he looked back at her. “Not that my bed is likely to be big enough either.”

  Megan smiled at his sexy playfulness, but a flicker of concern shadowed her features. “You did like it on the couch, didn’t you?”

  He rolled his eyes in amused exasperation. “Haven’t you been listening? If I liked it any more than I did, I probably would have had to add starving you to death to my list of crimes.”

  “What does starving me have to do with it?”

  He continued leading her down a short, dark hallway. Despite the dimness, Megan saw heat crowd the humor out of his blue eyes.

  “Because I was sorely at risk of keeping you on that couch and making love to you until we were both too exhausted, or dehydrated, or starved to move.”

  “Really?” Megan murmured with prurient interest. As he guided her into his bedroom, she smiled. “That would have been rather poor planning on our part.”

  Christian glanced back over his large bedroom, which Megan noticed was decorated with the same clean lines and Asian influence that was evidenced in the living room. “Do you think I should bring in an emergency supply of food and water?”

  “Uh uh,” Megan murmured distractedly. She was focused on unbuttoning the soft blue shirt he wore. She felt his indrawn breath when she raked her fingers over his exposed chest. “I love death by chocolate. I can just imagine how much I’m going to love death by Christian Lasher.”

  He looked vaguely surprised and very aroused. “I believe you’re becoming a bit wanton,” he drawled.

  Megan flushed, pleased and embarrassed at once. There was little doubt which feeling won out, though, when she leaned forward and touched her tongue to the coppery disc of Christian’s nipple. Air rushed past his lips audibly. Megan teased him with her tongue, than applied suction.

  Christian watched her with naked desire through the slits of his eyelids. Megan’s full, succulent lips had long driven him to distraction. Watching them thus engaged with his appreciative nipple was an image and sensation that brought him to full, leaden arousal almost instantly. He remained still, however, even when she leaned back and examined him.

  “They’re like mine?” she asked in wonderment.

  Christian exhaled slowly, trying to still an almost overwhelming desire to strip her bare and slide inside her immediately. Maybe it would be best to get this pounding pressure out of his system once and for all, so that they could enjoy each other with a least a measure of lucidity. He shook his head slightly to clear his lust driven thoughts. Why didn’t he have an ounce of restraint when it came to Megan?

  “Yours are a lot more beautiful than mine,” he replied gruffly. “If you’re asking if it feels sweet as hell when you touch me there, though, the answer is yes.”

  “Oh.”

  “Megan?”

  “Yes?” Her eyes were lambent when they met his.

  “You know that I’m crazy about you, don’t you?”

  Her full lower lip fell away from its mate. “I was sort of hoping that you were,” she finally said faintly. He traced the expanding, delicate pink flush on her cheek with his thumb. He leaned down and kissed the smooth skin reverently.

  “I never knew blushing could be sexy until I met you.”

  She rolled her eyes and blushed more. He laughed and reached for her top, gently lifting it over her head. He felt like he was unwrapping an exquisite gift. He shrugged out of his own shirt, his eyes glued to the image of her breasts in a white, lacy bra. He began to unbutton his jeans, but he was distracted.

  “Take off your bra. Please,” he added when he realized how unintentionally rough his voice had gone with arousal.

  She reached around and unhooked the clasp and let the bra fall heedlessly to the floor. They both went completely still as Christian’s gaze fastened on her as hungrily. Her breasts were pale and full and erotically vulnerable in their nakedness. Christian couldn’t understand how her flesh could inspire such a paradoxical urge for tenderness and animal lust in him. The hand at his fly pressed at the worsening ache of his erection.

  “Your skirt?” he managed to get out of a constricted throat.

  She fumbled with the buttons and zipper at the back of her skirt and let it join her bra on the floor. Before Christian requested it, she pushed her panties down her hips and shimmied out of them. She stepped daintily out of her slide-on sandals and out of her skirt at the same time. When she started to reach for Christian’s jeans to help him undress, since he seemed temporarily frozen, he backed away from her a step. He craned his neck over and kissed her on the mouth.

  “Go lay down on the bed.”

  His eyes ate up the sight of her as she walked in front of him. Her waist was small and the line of her spine was elegant. His eyes narrowed when he saw two adorable dimples at her lower back. The feminine curve of her hips and the rounded, firm flesh of her bottom was enough to make Christian’s fists clench in barely restrained anticipation.

  He reclined next to her on the bed and immediately began to ravish the fragrant skin at her neck with his lips. Her scent filled his nose, making him drunk with longing.

  He groaned when her fingertips skimmed across his shoulders and back. Her light touch sent a convulsion of pleasure through him. When he felt her mouth move feverishly against his temple, he gave a low groan and rolled on top of her. He sipped at her earlobe—a rare delicacy—and savored the sensation of her pearl earrings between his lips and tongue.

  “I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he whispered in her ear. He caressed her bare arms, soothing her when she shivered.

  Her hands moved to the top of his jeans, but he stilled her by placing his hand over hers. “Aren’t you going to get undressed?” she asked, sounding a little desperate.

  “Yes. After I do this.”

  “Do what?” Megan asked shakily.

  “Taste every inch of your skin,” Christian muttered into her ear with lazy desire.

  “Oh.” She trembled again beneath him as he kissed her. “I…I never knew my ear was quite so…sensitive.”

  He smiled and transferred his attention to her neck. He sought out every erogenous zone on her body. His fingertips, lips and the tip of his tongue were his instruments, but Megan’s catchy sighs and whimpers of pleasure were his guide. He patiently mapped out all her erogenous zones—the patch of skin on the underside her elbow joint, the sides of her ribs, the sublime curve of her hip. He thought she’d hesitate when he told her to turn over, but she followed his order with an alacrity that stunned him.

  Pleased him.

  He charted that new, glorious territory, burying his nose in her silky, fragrant skin, relishing her low moans. By the time he gently spread her thighs, he could hear her soft, uneven pants.

  “It’s okay. I only want you to feel good. Do you trust me?” he
asked her raggedly.

  “Yes.”

  He lowered his head and coated his lips in her essence. He closed his eyes and groaned. It was like he’d waited for the taste of her forever. He had never experienced anything so sweet—suddenly knew all the way to the core of his bones that he never would again.

  God didn’t grant miracles twice.

  A while later he lifted his head, dazed by the sound of her desperate moans. How much time had passed?

  He’d been drowning in her.

  “Turn over, Honey,” he rasped.

  When she did, Christian didn’t wait to press his mouth once again to her nectar-coated sex.

  She shuddered almost immediately under the intimate caresses of his mouth. He held her fast, absorbing her bliss, sharing in it in a way he’d never done with another human being until that moment.

  When had it happened, that Megan’s pleasure became his?

  When she finally came back to the world, she saw Christian’s magnificent eyes on her face. He was still tonguing her languidly…masterfully.

  Renewed desire leaked over her lips in a tremulous cry. When he finally raised himself over her, Megan could tell by the fierce look in his eyes that he’d reached the frayed ends of his restraint. He tore at his jeans and briefs. Neither of them seemed to mind that he barely got them down over his thighs before he buried himself in her. They shared a groan of immense satisfaction when he pressed at the limit of her womb.

  “Okay?” Christian murmured next to her lips.

  “A lot better than okay,” she whispered.

  He braced himself off of her upper body and began to love her with earnest wildness. He couldn’t seem to stop himself. There wasn’t any other way to make love to Megan except for completely…wholeheartedly.

  He didn’t want it to end it felt so damn good. But he was only human. He looked into her face, straight down into her wide, light green eyes as he crested. He felt her flesh shudder and squeeze him tight. It ignited him.