by Ford, Brenda
“I would like that.” Rosie’s hand rests on my arm and stays there. “He seems pretty jealous of you.”
“Who does? Tristan? Why would he be jealous of me? He’s the one who’s with you.”
As her eyes light up, I immediately wonder if that was the wrong thing to say. It sounds like I’m the jealous one now and I want to be with her. Funny how I can make that suggestion when I’m not desperate to be with her anymore. I survived my crush without making it awkward, I don’t want to wreck it now.
“Well, I think he’s under the assumption that I want to be with you.”
“Maybe because we haven’t really met.” I shrug. “I might seem like a threat. And if he remembers the time that we went to that party together so I could act like your boyfriend… well, that will be an issue.”
“You say that like you want to meet him. Is that what you want?” She almost glares at me.
“I don’t know. I don’t mind. I mean, he’s your boyfriend, isn’t he? It’s up to you.”
I glance towards the door, again wondering where Ellie is. I thought that I might have been able to see her by now. I even assumed she might come to watch the movie with us. I was looking forward to a night of sizzling secret sexual tension. Although I suppose it would be weird if Rosie picked up on it.
“Well, I don’t know what’s going to happen with me and Tristan, so it doesn’t matter anyway…”
“Are you guys going to break up? I know it’s been a roller coaster, but…”
She sucks in a breath; her eyes dart downwards. I’m worried that I’ve pushed her too far.
“I don’t know. I mean, he doesn’t treat me well, does he? I keep thinking that there might be better choices out there. Someone who would actually care about me and treat me right. Really care about me and love me.”
Her eyes pick upwards and meet mine. She’s staring at me expectantly, she wants me to tell her my opinion on it, but unfortunately, I can’t. I have seen this situation before and they always end up back together. My opinion isn’t wanted, nor is it needed. All I can do is nod and not give anything away.
“Oh.” All of a sudden, Ellie’s voice shatters the tense atmosphere in the room. Thank God.
“What are you doing here?” Rosie barks, her whole body stiffening. Gone is any relaxed openness from her.
“I live here, if you don’t remember.” Ellie rolls her eyes. “So, I think I’m allowed to be here, right.”
“Er…” I dart my eyes between both women, wondering what I have walked myself into. There has been an argument, I’m quite certain, and I don’t know if I should say anything. Men should never get in the middle of a row between two women. I have seen that in the work place. There isn’t anything that we can do to not make it a million times worse, but I care about both these women. I don’t want to see either of them hurt.
“Yeah well as you can see, me and Oliver are hanging out here…”
“Watching a movie?” Ellie smirks. “I can watch that with you, can’t I?”
“Not really. We actually need some time alone to talk. We’re having a private discussion.”
“During a movie? But how are you watching it? That seems very strange…”
I can’t take it. The animosity is really getting to me. It feels like the walls are closing in on me, threatening to suffocate me in the middle of this argument. I can sense that my presence is the issue, or it’s a part of it anyway, and I want to do whatever I can to make sure they solve this as quickly as possible. That’s something I’m sure they can do so much better without me around, acting like an awkward idiot in the corner.
“I think I’m going to…” I jump up and edge towards the door, with the piercing eyes of both women upon me. “Get out of here because I have some stuff that I need to… to get on with… and Brad will be…”
They aren’t listening to me. They are too involved in their argument with one another, so I move rapidly and stalk towards the front door. As I go, I remind myself that emotions run high in the wake of a death and it’s probably just the Clark family adjusting to their new situation. Once they all get used to their new life, everything will be fine, and all will settle down again. I hope so anyway, because right now they have been through enough.
As soon as I get outside the door, I hear yelling. The argument has gone from stupid passive aggressive nastiness to full-on shouting. Maybe that’s for the best so they can both get it off their chest, but I don’t like the way it makes me feel. It’s gut wrenching to know that they are struggling through anything.
I have a feeling that this might have a lot to do with Tristan as well because Rosie is usually so caring and open. I can’t imagine her treating her family members with any kind of coldness. He is the only person who seems to be able to affect her mood so much that she would be unpleasant to anyone else.
What do I do? I ask myself desperately as I lean my head back against the door. Should I go back in?
Rationally, I know that I should walk away, leave them to it. Let them get on with what they need to do. Hope that it sorts itself out. But I can’t move away, I’m stuck. Frozen to the spot. Waiting…
“Fuck you, Rosie…” Ellie screams, now so close to the front door that I can hear every word. “Just fuck you.”
She slams the front door open, almost knocking me to the ground. She barges passed me as if she doesn’t even see me and stomps off towards my house. Yep, it’s definitely towards my home…
“Ellie,” I call after her. “What’s going on, Ellie? Where are you going?”
She turns back but doesn’t say anything. Instead, she flicks her finger and silently demands for me to follow her. I know that I should be worried about Rosie as well, but I can’t stop my body from following Ellie. She intrigues me and I want to know what her next move is. She must have one in mind. Judging from her purposeful steps, she definitely means to go in that direction and she definitely needs me with her.
“Ellie.” I just about catch up with her before she gets to the front door. “What are you…?”
She grips hold of my shoulders and drags me downwards. This time she kisses me not in secret, she doesn’t care who is watching, and as my hands circle around his waist, I know that I’m not bothered either. It doesn’t matter if the whole world sees us, we aren’t doing anything wrong. We’re two consenting grown-ups, why shouldn’t we kiss? And if it feels so damn good and full of passion then I’m obviously going to want to do it all the time.
Her lips move in unison with mine, her tongue massages mine, her hands knot up in my hair… fucking hell, this is even more passionate than it was before. It already feels like it’s leading somewhere. Ellie rolls her hips against me, grinding against my core, making me feel everything all at once and I fucking love it. So does my body. It reacts with a deep seated sheer excitement which takes my breath away.
Chapter Ten
Ellie
My entire body throbs and pulses as I take Oliver’s hand in mine and I lead him inside. The pure rage that I feel for Rosie combines well with the intense lust that I have for Oliver, and it’s making my head spin. I need him. I absolutely have to have him, and the moment is now. This is the time when it has to happen.
“Where is your room?” I bark out. “We need to go to your bedroom right now, Oliver.”
Thankfully, he isn’t in any position to argue. His hand sits firmly in mine and he takes me up the stairs. Every so often I feel his eyes flicker all over me, which sends little electrical pulses all the way to my core. If kissing Oliver made me see what all the fuss is about, then sex is bound to be mind-blowing.
“This is it,” he whispers once we’re inside and the door has slammed closed. “This is my room.”
Maybe I should take the time to look around, to learn more about Oliver. I always think that you can learn a lot about a person from how they keep their bedroom… but right now I’m more interested in him, so I fling my arms tightly around his neck and I drag him back to kiss me once
more.
“You taste nice,” Oliver whispers, his words tickling over my lips. “Like strawberries.”
Before I can answer him, Oliver’s hungry lips move off mine and cascade down to my throat. Flames dance all over me, each kiss ignites a new set of butterflies, flapping my legs completely turn to jelly. I tilt my head back further and expose more of my throat to him, which Oliver takes full advantage of. He sucks and licks hard, probably leaving a mark and claiming me. Luckily, I want to be claimed by him. Especially when it feels like this. I want him to claim every part of me because he makes me feel safe.
“Get on the bed,” Oliver suggests. “I don’t want you to fall. You feel all shaky.”
“That’s what you do to me.” I smile and do exactly as he commands, scooting my ass backwards over the sheets. I have to admit that it does feel better to not have to try and hold myself up.
Oliver runs his eyes all over me as I lie backwards and stare up at the ceiling. His gaze is hungry and open, he definitely wants me, but it doesn’t seem to be just an animal lust. I’m not a piece of meat for him. He takes my shoes off carefully, followed by my socks, stroking softly over my skin as he does. My fingers curl around the bed sheets as desire grips me, and I desperately need something to hold on to.
“Oh wow,” I whisper as the electricity flows up my legs. “Even this feels good.”
I immediately snap my lips closed because I don’t want to say too much. I don’t want it to be too obvious that this is my first time because that will make me look young. Rosie’s comments about my immaturity are still affecting me and I don’t want Oliver to feel the same way about me. I’m more grown up around him anyway, I feel it and I behave like it, so I need to keep that up in any way that I can.
Once my feet are bare, Oliver edges his fingers slowly up my legs to the waist band of my leggings. Even with the material separating us, making sure that he can’t fully connect with me, the intensity is so much I almost want to snatch away. He’s like a predator, hungry for my body, ready to devour me, and it’s hard for me to remain still to just let that happen. But there also isn’t any fight in me at all. I want him to take me.
“You are beautiful,” he murmurs into my ears as my leggings slowly slip down. I have to admit there is a little part of me that’s absolutely terrified, even with a man as great as Oliver, because it’s my naked flesh on show again, exposed to the world, but it’s combined with a happy excitement because he won’t make a fool of me.
Once my leggings are off and his fingers dip just under my top, a dizziness swims through my brain. The breath is completely stripped from my lungs making it impossible to get anything like enough air in, making me all messy and raw, drunk on him and desperate to take another sip.
Goose bumps pop up and down my arms as he lifts my tee shirt over my head. My bra remains, but it’s the only thing left between me and another human seeing my breasts. They rise and fall heavily with each deep breath. Even more so when his hands hook around my back and he pings my bra free.
Everything freezes and for a split second I’m sure that panic is going to claim me. I fear I will show my immaturity by running out of this house half naked, unable to go through with anything, and proving Rosie right. If I can’t do this now, if I can’t let Oliver see me, then I will truly be scarred. The past event will affect me, but this will damage me so much more. I don’t think I will ever recover, then my brand new life will be over for good. I won’t ever be able to have any kind of romantic relationship ever again.
“Oh wow,” Oliver gasps. “Everything about you is incredible, Ellie, you have no idea.”
His lips then connect with my nipple which is standing to attention for him, needing him more than I knew. His mouth covers me, his tongue flicks over me, and damn it feels good. Something related to my breasts actually feels amazing which is a wonderful news for me. I arch my back, pushing more of me into him, and he loves it.
“You like it when I taste you?” Oliver whispers. “You want me to taste more of you?”
I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I nod and make agreeable sounds. Since this feels so phenomenal, I am willing for him to do whatever the hell he wants now. I will give myself over to him willingly.
His lips slide down my stomach, leaving a sparkling trail of space dust behind. By the time he reaches the waist band of my panties, I’m ready to let out a loud scream of bliss, regardless of who may or may not be in the house. It doesn’t even matter if everyone hears, this is something else.
“I like these cotton panties,” he mutters as he dips in the waist band of my underwear, twirling his fingers through my pubic hair. “They feel really good but is it okay if I get rid of them?”
“Oh yes,” I gush back. “Take them off. I need them gone.”
He yanks them down and thankfully tears his own tee shirt off. As he does so, I get a glimpse of his body. He looks better without clothes actually. His muscles are surprising and sexy. He even has one of those V’s that travels from his stomach down towards his boxers, leaving me curious as to what is at the end of that rainbow.
His hands grip on to my legs and slide all the way up until he finally connects with my core. I’m hot and wet for him, needing to be explored, so it tips me over the edge as he plunges two fingers in, sending gorgeous shock waves through me. The pleasure filled expletives that fly wildly out of my mouth even shock me.
As the rhythm of his pumping fingers picks up, his lips edge towards me, blowing hot air all over me. I stiffen as the anticipation floods me, if he can make me feel that good with my nipple then my clit is sure as shit excited to know what that wonderful tongue of his can do to me. I can’t wait to find out.
“Oh shit!” I can’t stop myself from screaming as his tongue circles and traces wonderful patterns over my most sensitive area. If this is what he meant about tasting me before, then I’m glad that I agreed. “Fuck, Oliver.”
His mouth is shoving me violently, pushing me along the tracks, sending me towards the station already. I almost want him to stop because it’s too much, it’s too intense, I feel like my head is going to explode, but I can’t. He’s a mad man on a mission, consuming me until I can’t take it anymore. Until I’m completely filled with pressure… but a good kind of pressure. One I want more of…
“Oh no, what are you doing?” I demand as soon as he whips his mouth away. “That was…”
He silences me by slamming his lips against mine. I can taste myself on him and weirdly it’s a nice sensation. Especially because his rock hard cock has been freed from its material prison at some point and it’s teasing my entrance. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to have him nearly inside of me, but a very welcome one.
“I want you,” he whispers. “I just want to check that you want me too.”
I don’t answer with words, instead I buck my hips upwards, slowly sliding him inside. He’s absolutely massive, so there is a bit of a pinch, but the pleasure over shadows it completely. I grip on to his back and scratch my fingers over his skin, trying to pull him in deeper with every single intoxicating, mind blowing thrust. There’s no stopping it this time around, the deep abyss of pleasure is more than ready to swallow me up whole and I’m content to fall hard. There isn’t any pulling away from me either, Oliver is in this as well.
“Shit, Oliver!” I call out his name like a prayer as I swirl through the pleasure, as I tumble in to the most incredible orgasmic sensations ever. I thrash as the pleasure shatters me violently, “Oh, Oliver…”
This isn’t how I thought I would lose my virginity, not that I had a plan, but I’m really glad it’s happened because this is incredible. This man is everything that I could possibly want and so much more.
* * *
The good feeling lasted for a while. In fact, as we lay next to one another panting, I didn’t think it would end, but ever so slowly a cold sensation began to settle through me, and it’s now claimed me completely. I pull my clothing on desperately, needing to cover myse
lf up, because I absolutely have to get home now. I need to be by myself to process this, to drink it all in and to be sure that was the right thing to do.
Now, I’m not certain that was right. I don’t know if I’m acting out or not, trying to get over my past at high school, distracting myself from losing Mom, needing to get back at Rosie. All of it and none of it maybe.
By coming over here and having sex with Oliver, I have proven something to Rosie, but I don’t know what it is. That I can have him? That she can’t? That I can do what I want? I don’t know, my mind is spinning, I’m all over the place. Nothing really makes sense. All I’m certain of is the need to escape Oliver now so I can think because if I don’t there isn’t any telling which way I will go, what I will do. I don’t know if he’s looking at me now, wondering what the hell is going on, and I’m not sure that I care. I just need to be with me…
Chapter Eleven
Oliver
Why isn’t Ellie talking to me? I wonder as I stare out of the window at the Clark’s house. It’s been two days since we had sex now and then she just ran out on me without looking back. I haven’t even had the chance to see a glimpse of her. Sure, I have been at work a lot, but while I’m at home, I wait for her. For nothing.
I just want to see her for a second, not to put any pressure on her or anything, but because I want to check that she’s alright. She took the lead yet again, it really did seem like she wanted to have sex with me, but now I’m scared that she’s regretting it. It might have been one of those heat of the moment things and now she hates me.
God, I really hope that she doesn’t hate me. That’s the last thing that I want. Since she’s the first person that I have felt any kind of attraction to in a very long time, I really can’t lose her. Plus, if she’s going to continue living next door to me, then it could end up getting very complicated very quickly.