Stalked by the Past: An FBI Flashback Novel. (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 17)

by Morgan Kelley

  It was all he really had.

  Life had dealt him these cards, and he was going to let the hand play out.

  And Ethan was fine with that.

  He was fine with it all.

  * * * E l i z a b e t h L a R u e * * *

  Georgetown

  Elizabeth’s

  Brownstone

  She was sitting on her big overstuffed couch, watching the videos, and having a bowl of cereal. The latter was simply to fuel up—not because she was hungry.

  In fact, she was the exact opposite.

  Elizabeth felt horrible.

  She’d run from Chris’s house when she should have told him off and stayed there with him. Only she didn’t want to fight with him. There was something about the man that tied her up in knots, and she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

  She didn’t want to piss him off even more. It was about keeping whatever was left of her life intact. If she made him mad, and he left her too, she’d be alone.

  Elizabeth didn’t think she could do it.

  The whole FBI loathed her.

  Okay, maybe that was being a tad bit dramatic, but it felt that way. Each day, she was fighting an uphill battle, and there was only one person on her side.

  Chris.

  God.

  She wished she’d stayed. Now she wanted to cry. There was no going back, and she knew it. Tomorrow, she’d hunt him down and apologize.

  She didn’t have a choice.

  As she ate her boring cereal, there was a knock on her door. Instead of ignoring it, she headed there. She could see his outline in the frosted glass.

  She was surprised he’d shown up. All she could hope was that it wasn’t to fight anymore.

  Now she needed to decide whether to let him in or keep him out. At that moment, she was an emotional wreck.

  She went with her heart.

  “What do you want?” she asked after opening the door.

  Chris looked miserable. Apparently, demons were chasing him too.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For?”

  “Treating you like shit. I had no right to snap at you, Elizabeth. I was wrong. I’m just…”

  It pissed her off.

  All of a sudden, she knew what she needed to do. It was time to lay down the law.

  “Yeah, you were having a bad day. I know. Know what a bad day is, Chris? Today, two agents knocked my coffee out of my hand as I tried to walk back to my desk. They thought it was funny to humiliate me. Today, I nearly got my head taken off by a small Asian man as I watched a dead woman’s child stare at me in fear. That’s a bad day. Oh, and one of the people who said they loved me blew me off.”

  “I didn’t mean to be an ass.”

  “Not you. I went to see Gabe, and he wouldn’t see me. He claimed to have a meeting, but it’s Wednesday. He doesn’t have meetings in the afternoon. He’s a morning person. He didn’t even want to see me.”

  He listened.

  “Then I show up at your place, where you invited me to come, and you snarl at me. That’s not how I want to spend my night. I’m running this case by myself. I have no back up, and I’m afraid I can’t do it. What if what they all say is right? What if I’m a loser who shouldn’t be in the FBI?”

  There it was.

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  If there was ever a time he felt like an idiot, it was at that moment. He’d let his emotional shit overshadow hers.

  “Go home, get some sleep, and I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said. “I don’t need to fight with you now too.”

  There was no way he was leaving now.

  No freaking way.

  He moved into her foyer, and she stepped back. Elizabeth never did that with him. No matter what was happening with his baggage, he needed to worry about her heart.

  “I love you. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me, Lyzee. You’re all I have too.”

  He moved toward her again, and this time she didn’t retreat from him.

  “We have to work this out.”

  She knew he was right.

  “What if I fail again, Christopher? Then who do I blame?” she asked. “Last time, I was able to pretend. What if what they all say is right? What if I suck at my job?”

  “You don’t suck at your job.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I just know.”

  The tears slid down her cheeks.

  “Come here.”

  She listened, and Chris hugged her.

  Elizabeth tucked her body into his and clung to him. She was tough, but she had some cracks in that armor that no one saw.

  She didn’t show anyone but him.

  “You won’t fail. I believe in you. Let’s watch some porn, have some dinner, and work on this case together.”

  She sniffled. “I’m sorry I’m blubbering all over you.”

  “Do you hear me complaining? You really have to be freaked out over this, honey.”

  “I’m really worried.”

  Well, he was too.

  Only they were worried about two completely different things. His fears were all about losing control of his libido and losing her in the process.

  He needed to focus.

  “Don’t be,” he reassured.

  “I’m sorry I left your place. I didn’t want to fight. I don’t have it in me anymore. I have nothing left inside me. I battle all day long, and I can’t have a war with you too.”

  He kissed her on the forehead. “It’s okay, honey. I’m not here to fight.”

  “I’m sorry I ruined dinner.”

  He forced her to stare into his face. There were still shadows in her eyes. Chris knew how to chase them away.

  “What? Didn’t you know that pizza is portable?”

  She snorted when he went out onto her stoop and grabbed the box, his overnight bag, and his messenger bag.

  Apparently, he was sleeping over.

  She was fine with that.

  “You should just leave some things here,” she stated. “It’ll be easier.”

  His body reacted, but he didn’t let it show. “Okay. You should do the same. I’m tired of schlepping back and forth. You can leave things at my place too.”

  She smiled. “Okay.”

  Chris’s heart skipped in his chest at the visual. She was moving her things into his place.

  It was so foreign to him. A beautiful woman wanted to be around him. What the hell was he supposed to do with that?

  She held out her hand. “Do you want to get changed?” she asked. “Maybe slip into something more comfortable?”

  There was no way in hell he could.

  Chris was turned on by the way she’d felt against his body, and pajamas, plus an erection, did not equal friends.

  It was time to cover his ass on this one.

  “Later. I’m starving. Tony didn’t shut up all day, and he did puke on me. Priorities. Comfort after sustenance.”

  She moved with him back into the living room. “Works for me, Newton.”

  Chris loved her place. While his was twice the size, hers was colorful, warm, and inviting. He always felt welcome there. It felt like home.

  “I owe you for that. I’ll buy the first round at happy hour on Friday.”

  He grinned.

  Chris loved happy hour. It was like a party for him. Elizabeth sat beside him, she’d hold his hand, and people would believe he was the luckiest man in the world. In that moment, they were a couple.

  Yeah, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was one hell of an ego boost for him.

  “Perfect. Wait! Did you eat cereal?” he asked, pointing at the bowl. “You should have known I’d show up, Lyzee. I’d never let you suffer all night long.”

  He was a better person than she was. This was EXACTLY why she couldn’t lose him.

  “Well, it’s chocolate so it’s more like dessert, right?” she asked.

  He grinned and picked up her bowl to eat some. It was something they always did, and it felt right
.

  “Please tell me there’s something dead on that pizza,” she pleaded. “I’m dying for some…”

  She flipped the lid open.

  There was bacon.

  “I love you. I could marry you and have your babies,” she said.

  Chris looked over. “Um, okay. Want to start right now, or do you want to elope first? I’m okay with kids outside of wedlock but…”

  She snorted.

  “I was talking to the pizza, but you get a kiss for bringing bacon, my favorite lover, to the party.”

  She gave him a big wet kiss on the mouth.

  He’d take it even though he loved the first idea even more. While she thought he was kidding, he really wasn’t. He’d buy her a ring and find a minister in a heartbeat.

  Slowly, she pulled away from the kiss.

  His heart was pounding.

  Shit!

  He wasn’t going to survive the night.

  “Are we really going to be watching people having sex?” he asked, trying not to think about the lip lock they’d just shared. Sometimes, he got mixed signals from her.

  Chris swore she was inviting him to pursue it, but that couldn’t be right.

  Could it?

  She laughed and hit the button on the remote. The screen came to life, and on it were people and they were indeed fornicating.

  “Well, I guess I can learn some new moves,” he said, sitting back on the couch.

  Elizabeth moved into his body, and she shared her pizza as he shared the cereal.

  They kept staring at the screen.

  Then they tipped their head one way.

  Then the other.

  “Is that actually possible?” Chris asked.

  “Apparently, but I hope he doesn’t get stuck like that. Who wants to explain that to EMS?” she said, passing him her beer.

  He took a sip. “Jesus, Lyzee. What the hell is that?” he asked, handing her the beer back.

  “Guinness. I was in the mood for some Irish.”

  “I’m Irish,” he teased.

  “You are not,” she said back, elbowing him. “You’re German.”

  “Fräulein, I can be if you want me to be,” he quipped in a cheesy German accent as he wiggled his eyebrows.

  Her laughter said it all.

  They were, again, right as rain.

  Elizabeth was relieved. This was their normal banter, and it was as if nothing had ever happened. That was the best part about their relationship. They moved together rather easily, and Elizabeth was grateful.

  She wouldn’t trade what they had for anything.

  Suddenly, a person in the video came and screamed. They both jumped.

  It made them laugh.

  “Someone is loud in bed. He needs a soundproof room for that kind of wailing. That’s awkward with neighbors.”

  Chris couldn’t help himself. “Are you?” he asked.

  She glanced over. “Am I what?”

  “I’m curious. Since we’ll never actually have sex, I was wondering if you were loud in bed.”

  That caught her off guard, but not for the reason she thought it would. Talking sex with him should be uncomfortable, but it wasn’t.

  Elizabeth would have sex with Chris in a heartbeat. The only problem was that she didn’t think it would fill that hole in both of them. They each needed something, and she wasn’t one hundred percent sure it would be each other.

  Could it be?

  It might be, but was it worth the risk?

  Elizabeth was scared shitless to chance it. Almost a year ago, they had the ‘talk’. It involved her telling him it would be a mistake. As of late, she was wondering if she’d been wrong.

  They moved seamlessly as a team.

  Wasn’t that what a relationship needed? Again, the only thing that was holding her back was that she couldn’t bear to risk losing what they already had. When you found a person this perfect, this kind, and this awesome, change was scary.

  Elizabeth was a giant chicken.

  “Well?”

  She shrugged, as she refocused on the man beside her. “I don’t think I’m that loud. I’m usually focused. It’s harder for the girl to get off. I’m thinking about that, what the man is doing, and what kind of sex we’re having.”

  “What kind of sex? Is there more than one?” he asked. “I better watch more videos,” he teased. “Can I borrow them this weekend?”

  She snorted. “You know what I mean. Of course there are different kinds. There’s where you’re wild and tearing off each other’s clothes, where you’re hot and heavy, or where it’s sweet, gentle, love making. They are the three basics. The couple on the camera are type one. That’s fucking.”

  He glanced over at the screen. “Which is better?”

  “You really can’t do it wrong. You’ve had sex, Christopher. What do you think?”

  “I like B. A is fun, C is nice, but I think I like a mix. Hot and heavy is my choice.”

  Yeah, hers too.

  Crap.

  They had more in common.

  “Am I making you uncomfortable?” he asked. “I can stop asking if I am.”

  She grinned at him. “You’re not making me uncomfortable at all. If something is on your mind, I prefer you spill it. That’s how I roll.”

  He was aware, and that’s why he loved her. He could be himself. His sexual experience wasn’t off the charts. Yes, he’d hooked up with a girl or two in college, but that’s about it. This was why he needed to ‘online date’. Maybe it would make him more confident.

  Deep down, Chris hoped that if he found more bedroom skills, it might get him a shot at Elizabeth. It was lame and he knew he didn’t stand a chance, but still…

  A guy had to hope.

  “You look perplexed. Just ask.”

  Well, if she didn’t mind talking, he had questions out the wazoo.

  “So, does the woman like more than one orgasm, or is that some bullshit. Is one plenty?”

  “They are like cookies. One is great, but a bunch of them is even better.”

  He was making mental notes.

  “Why are you really asking?” she asked. “You don’t ever really get this personal with me.”

  She was right.

  He’d been afraid to, but he was going to pick up some woman online, and he needed details, and he didn’t think watching a hooker and John was going to be a good way to pick up pointers. Again, it all rolled back around to her.

  Elizabeth seemed like a girl who liked experienced guys. Maybe that was why she was hesitant to sleep with him.

  “Well, you’re a girl, and I’m a guy. One day, I’m going to date someone, and you’re supposed to be my best friend—who is a girl. That’s going to work to my advantage. I need as much help as I can get.”

  He left out the part about using his knowledge on her.

  He could only hope.

  She laughed. “Okay, Newton. Girls like multiple orgasms, we love when a guy dines at the Y, and we enjoy dick—lots and lots of dick. The more you can put that into the rotation, the better off the end result is going to be. The goal is to get her off a couple times, and then you get off with her.”

  He was staring at her.

  Yeah, he needed some one night stands to take the edge off. Maybe then, he wouldn’t be thinking about dining at her Y. The entire time she was talking, that was all he was thinking about.

  Shit!

  He was so turned on at that moment. It was so damn hard not to look down to check the lower brain. Chris was praying she didn’t either.

  When she took a swig of the beer, he checked himself out, and he was definitely showing.

  Well, this was awkward. Here he was, with his best friend, who he had the hots for, and he was sporting one hell of an erection.

  Could this get worse?

  There was some rustling on the screen. They both turned their focus there. Naima was digging in her closet. It looked like she was between customers.

  Elizabeth knew what she was l
ooking for before the hooker even pulled it out.

  “She was keeping a log. That had to be either Robert Donaldson or Arnold Knox on the video. They were the only two names in the book. Either they were her chosen marks, or she was just starting out in the blackmail biz.”

  Chris looked over. “Wait, did you say Arnold Knox?” he asked.

  “Yeah, why? Do you know him?”

  Shit!

  Well, that killed his libido, and fast.

  “If it’s the same person, yes. He’s my financial advisor. He handles all of my money.”

  She stared at him.

  That was horrible news.

  “Yeah, you may want to find someone else to take care of your finances, Christopher. If he’s boning a hooker and being blackmailed, it may only be a matter of time before he starts using your money to pay off his debts.”

  He didn’t like that at all. Elizabeth was right. He needed to end that little oncoming disaster.

  “I’ll handle it in the morning.”

  “Are you up for me?” she asked.

  “WHAT?”

  Elizabeth stared at him. “I asked if you were up for one more tape. If you’re not…”

  “NO! I’m good.”

  She stared at him. Elizabeth wasn’t sure if he really was or not. Chris was acting weird. He’d slid over, and they were no longer touching.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, honey, pop it in.”

  Elizabeth dug through the basket, pulling out the next Disney movie. “Beauty and the Beast,” she said, giggling. “I can’t wait to see this one.”

  She bent over to pop the video into the VCR.

  Chris took that moment not to adjust his erection, but to stare down her shirt as she was bent over.

  He saw full on breasts, and it was damn hard not to cry. He wanted her so badly that he’d give up anything just to have one night with her. Yeah, they might lose their friendship, but he was willing to take that risk.

  She smiled at him.

  His heart sunk. Elizabeth wasn’t willing to risk it, and he was well aware. Someone was going to be screwing random women to forget.

  Elizabeth settled down beside him, dropping her head onto his shoulder, and her hand onto his thigh. The video was in full swing, and so was the sex.