by AK Waters
Devin knew it would've been smart to get in line with the tight-knit clique but she couldn’t help herself. Irritating those snobby control freaks was one of her guilty pleasures. They never went out of their way to be nice to her. They were borderline rude at every one of these gatherings. She wasn't going to bother trying to be part of their group. She decided loneliness was better than being friends with them any day of the week. She'd gotten off to a rocky start with the group and never regained her footing.
The men in Cruz's group and their wives and girlfriends held beach parties and BBQ almost every weekend. Devin remembered how she'd tried to make friends.
Tonight she played her part, smiling and greeting everyone as her and Cruz wandered. When she was introduced to Laura Murray she beamed with positive vibes and a happy smile, which was quickly ruined.
"Where is that accent from?" Laura asked her suddenly. Cruz and his boss, Jon Murray, had moved a few paces away to chat.
Devin held her façade and made eye contact with the curvy redhead. "I'm from Seattle. It's a neutral accent, I'm told. But I studied in North Carolina."
Laura sneered. "Just what I thought. You're almost something and not quite anything."
To make matters worse, the clique had quietly walked up as Laura said it, and now they all openly snickered. Devin looked for Cruz but he was throwing back tequila shots with his sergeant, oblivious to the attack.
Devin excused herself and spent the rest of the night trying to be invisible.
On the drive home an inebriated Cruz went on and on about how cool Laura Murray was and how lucky the sergeant was to have a woman like her at his side.
Devin bit her lip until it bled.
* * * * *
That first introduction with Laura set the tone for the last straw as far as Devin was concerned. She knew she had to be the dutiful wife and she'd suck it up and go to each and every party with Cruz, but she dreaded as each day got closer to the weekend.
Women who took great pleasure in ripping apart another woman for sport were monsters. But she knew saying something about any of them, especially Laura, would drive a wedge between her and Cruz.
She promised to herself to be good when they arrived a couple of weeks later at yet another reception.
Cruz leaned over and kissed her before they exited the car. "Play nice tonight. I know how much you hate this. Once again I owe you."
Devin smiled back but kept her dark thoughts to herself. If she said something stupid or hurtful it would cause a fight. Cruz needed to be on his A game to play with the big boys, as he liked to say.
They strolled into the room and heads turned. Devin felt Laura and her friends glare and she liked it. She headed to the bar for a glass of wine as her husband greeted his buddies. They'd just come off a particularly strenuous training mission and were celebrating.
A pang of jealousy came over her as she watched him. Those men shared a secret world full of danger and excitement that he couldn’t tell her much about. Or could he? She couldn’t imagine they were all as tight-lipped with their wives as he was.
Throughout the evening, she watched him and thought to herself for the hundredth time that Cruz was so smart about his choices in life. Most people struggled trying to find their place in the world. Devin knew early on that creating art was what made her happy, but how to make a living doing that, was a real hurdle. By contrast, Cruz had been a sports hero his entire life. He had been a highly recruited running-back in high school but had chosen the Navy like his father and uncles before him. Now, here he was in Coronado, in an environment tailor-made to his skills and personality. He was beloved by his brothers in arms. The wives and girlfriends couldn’t take their eyes off of him, especially at the beach volleyball tournaments they put together every weekend when the guys were on base. Cruz had an easy way of making the women feel good about themselves without ever raising a complaint about flirting. Overall he was living his life. How he wanted it.
On the contrary, Devin was private and preferred one on one contact. She alienated people she didn't respect. She knew she was responsible for not making friends or not networking, but she would never admit that to Cruz when they argued. Or admit it to her Mother or Lila as she complained on the phone. Lila began to have little patience for the constant negativity. Lila would have given anything for a boyfriend with a regular paycheck who would leave her in peace to sculpt in a shed. More often than not the conversation was strained and Lila just didn't get what Devin was talking about.
The last phone call to Lila had been another misunderstanding and ended in an argument.
"I get so worried when he disappears. Will he come back this time?"
"But he always has," Lila said quickly. "You worry too much."
"I worry because one minute my husband is standing next to me in the grocery store and the next he's a thousand miles away doing God knows what."
"He's doing his job. I'd give my left arm for a guy with that kind of commitment."
Devin was getting angry. "Even though you spend more than half your time alone and wondering what he's doing? What's really going on?"
Lila was silent for a few seconds. "What do you think he's doing?"
"I hope he's out killing the enemy," Devin responded.
"What aren't you telling me?" Lila asked.
Devin hesitated before she spoke. "There's a rumor going around about a mission that wasn't really a mission. The team went to Mexico and… there were hookers and who knows what else."
"And you think Cruz went?"
"I don't know."
"What did he say when you asked him?"
Devin sighed. "I didn't bring it up. I chickened out, because I'm afraid of the answer or the lie."
Lila snorted. "Has he given you any reason to think he isn't just busting his ass for you and your future together? Did you find lipstick on his uniform or a crumpled phone number in a pocket? Even if he went with the team as some sort of bonding moment, I doubt he'd cheat on you."
"I don't know. He's so different right now," Devin had said.
"It sounds like you are. I've been cheated on a dozen times and there are always signs, easy enough to spot. You're going by some rumor. You said yourself the bitches there hate you. Maybe they're setting you up. Maybe they want you gone? I think you're acting stupid."
Devin was stung by Lila's blow. "I think you're stupid. And jealous."
"It doesn't matter because you're insecurities will destroy your marriage."
They'd both hung up at the same time.
At the bar Devin stood alone sipping her wine. She had seen Admiral Jordan last week from a distance. He was a tall, imposing man and the base was abuzz with talk of his accomplishments. They were all excited and ready to embrace his command. She watched Sergeant Sam Murray introduce Cruz to him. Devin knew she just had to introduce herself to Mrs. Jordan before Laura and her posse could get a hold of her. She wanted to be able to tell Cruz later that she had made an effort. That’s when three of the wives approached the bar.
"Hi, Devin," Selma Reyes said. "Glad you could join us this time."
Devin was about to correct her comment, since she'd been to every one of these functions, but knew it was a lost cause. When she'd first met Selma she had high hopes for a friendship. But when Selma, who was Latina, found out Devin was only Spanish by injection and didn't speak a word of the language, she was no longer as friendly.
Cruz swore Devin was being sensitive and the woman was nice, but Devin could see the way she was staring at her right now. Selma was always smiling and bubbly but she hung around with Laura and her crowd at these functions. Devin really couldn't blame her for not wanting to hang out. Devin rarely spoke at these events, sitting near the bar and sipping too much wine until Cruz swung by, grabbed her arm, and introduced her to someone new. Then, while he continued the rounds, she'd refill her glass.
"We're so excited to meet Mrs. Jordan," Selma said in her high girlish voice. When Devin stared blankly ahead, Selma continued.
"But, well, I heard through the grapevine that she’s… different. Not the easiest person to get to know…” Selma glanced sideways at Devin, looked her up and down, took her wine and went to rejoin her group.
Devin knew she'd been a bitch, but wasn't that what these women deserved? She was sick of being such a phony and a hypocrite. And she knew she was getting a bad reputation, but as long as it didn't affect Cruz, she was fine with it. She didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. This life was all about Cruz.
She could see Cruz with the new admiral, the two sharing a laugh. He's doing his thing, Devin thought. She knew it was only a matter of time before he looked around for her, caught her eye, and motioned Devin for a brief greeting.
"Double vodka martini, straight up and dirty," the tall blonde in her early fifties said next to Devin. She watched the bartender move to make her drink before turning to face the room. "Here we go again," she mumbled to herself.
When Devin stared at her the woman smiled tiredly. "I like your style, honey. Great boots. So, which one is the leader of the pack?" She casually pointed at the wives. "I'm guessing the redhead with the severe bob?"
Devin had to laugh. "You would be correct. That's Laura Murray. Her husband is Team Five leader. He's a good guy."
"And what about her?"
Devin looked down into her wine glass. She wasn't going to make another mistake and trust someone in this place. All she needed was a catty remark to slip and it go right back to Laura.
"Let me guess: first one to cal inspection when the boys get deployed to report your lawn isn't mowed properly?"
Devin grinned.
The woman snapped her fingers. "I knew it. You don't have to tell me, but I guarantee she's done it to you."
"Twice," Devin said quietly. Who was this woman?
"Honey, that's the same old shit that happens on every base. Their kind always runs the show. They married competitive guys because they are, too. You have to dig deep but you'll find some good gals." The bartender handed her the martini and she sipped it.
Devin thought the woman looked tired. She had sharp green eyes and was good-looking. "It really gets fun when you all start having babies. That redhead's kid will be potty-trained at three months and speak fluent Japanese by its second birthday. Your kid will be eating Play Doh in the corner like a normal child. She'll make a snide remark or two about it and that's when you'll finally lose your mind and use those boots to do some ass kicking."
Devin giggled. She could see it all now, and she was looking forward to it. Cruz caught her eye and winked. He looked quite happy right now. He nodded in the direction of the woman next to Devin and gave her a subtle thumbs up.
Devin laughed. "Wait a minute. You're Admiral Jordan's wife."
"That sounds like an accusation." The woman laughed. "Guilty as charged, I suppose. I'm Ann. Never call me the Admiral's Wife. I detest it. Which one of these lucky men is yours?"
Devin pointed at Cruz, standing near her husband. "The one with the dimples? No wonder those women despise you."
"And it must be why they all figured out we're standing together talking," Devin said.
"Good. I don't like them already, but I don't have to be nice." Ann smiled. "I'm the Admiral's Wife, remember? I can be as nice or as mean as I want and none of them can touch me." She patted Devin on the arm. "Let's go mingle with our men and get these women excited, shall we?"
Chapter Twelve
Welcome To Leroy's
In the coming weeks, Devin and Ann bonded over afternoon walks on Orange Avenue, which was only a mile from the base. Charming gift shops, quaint stores, coffee shops and restaurants lined the street.
When Leroy’s opened they discovered their favorite happy hour spot… and Jeremy.
"Well, hello ladies! What can I get for you? I make a fantastic pomegranate martini!" He grinned as he wiped off the mosaic bar. His pinky ring made a sharp sound when it clashed against an empty beer bottle. "Are you girls from around here?"
"Navy wives," Ann said as they sat down. "And I'm going to need to try one of those martini's you're bragging about. Let's see how good you really are."
Jeremy introduced himself and began making their drinks on the other side of the bar. "You're married to some of those hot Navy SEALs that run on the beach all day without their shirts on? Lucky girls."
"Is this your place?" Ann asked.
"Yes, and I'm quite proud of it. Now, if I only made enough money to hire a bartender, I'd be set. Here are your martinis, ladies."
"I love the artwork out front," Devin said.
Ann pointed a finger at Devin. "She's an artist. Trust me, that's high praise from her. She is really snobby when it comes to artwork."
"I am not," Devin said. She was impressed with the bar.
"At night we become more of a nightclub. I have live bands on the stage and I try to do local artists whenever possible. How are your drinks?"
Ann stared at her glass dramatically and finally took a sip. "Quite tasty."
Devin agreed. And the place was a slice of heaven. It fit right in with anywhere she'd ever hung out in Seattle. Jeremy's love of art, music and good food made Leroy's a perfect escape from the base for both women.
Most of the patrons were tourists, so it was a safe spot to get away from it all. The women went there more and more, and hung out longer and longer. They really bonded, and Jeremy became a part of the fun.
All three found something in the friendship. Ann told Devin one night after a few too many drinks that she reminded Ann of her in her younger days. "I'm so glad we became friends. I feel like I took you under my wings. You're so lonely, like I was when I became a Navy wife. I wish I had some old woman to show me what to do."
Even though Ann was literally the same age as Devin's mother, it was the only thing in common. Devin would never even think about talking to her mother the way she talked to Ann.
And Devin knew she was the daughter Ann had never had. They fed off of one another. They talked about anything and everything and Ann never judged her. Devin felt truly accepted by Ann. It was a new and liberating feeling to have an older woman approve and even admire her. Devin always felt like a child in front of older men and women, even though she was in her twenties.
With Ann, age didn't matter.
Jeremy was quiet at first, even though he was outwardly friendly. He'd spend his time with them listening.
When they pushed him for details of his life he usually got quiet, telling them their stories were fabulous and his was too boring.
He wasn't an open book but they soon learned he wasn't new to Coronado. He was a Navy brat that had fled the confines of this structured life only to come home and try to remake it a little in his own image.
Jeremy should have made his home in a forward-moving city like Manhattan or Portland or San Francisco but he had an axe to grind and wanted to kick up some dust. The three were birds of a feather.
Devin didn’t feel guilty about spending so much time at Leroy's because Cruz was away for longer stretches. Even when he was on the base he was in meetings until late at night or getting in an extra run or weightlifting.
The couple wasn't distant but they weren't close, either.
"I feel like we're going through the motions," Devin confided in her two new friends. "We still enjoy each other's company, but we both have such different interests. He's all about the Navy and his career. I just want to paint and hang out here all day."
When Cruz had asked her about where she was spending all of her time she downplayed Leroy's. She felt guilty. It was her own hideaway and she didn't want to share it. When she told Ann, the woman laughed.
"Why do you think I've never brought my husband with me? This is our little secret." Ann winked at Jeremy. "I think you're right… I will have another martini."
Chapter Thirteen
A Funeral And A Promise
Cruz was on his second deployment, or so Devin was guessing. It could be a secret training mission or he
could be on foreign soil for all she knew. Devin had come home from a jog with Ann to find the house strangely quiet. A chill went up her spine as she looked for his duffle in the corner of their closet. It wasn’t there. Once again, he'd left without saying a word. Cruz's thought was it wasn't a goodbye and it only stressed them both to have to constantly say it. It was better this way, he told Devin. She didn't agree.
That night in bed she tossed and turned. Why couldn’t she know when he was deployed? Not details, but a heads up. Who would she tell? She was his wife. She wouldn’t put him in danger.
She must've finally dozed off and she jumped when the phone rang. "Cruz?"
It was her mother-in-law. "No Mija... I guess he’s not there with you. Is he on base?"
Devin sat up. "No, I don’t know where he is. Either training or deployed. They haven’t called me yet. I hate this. I really hate it. Please tell me it gets better, Maria." Devin was mad at herself for confiding her fear to this woman, but she was a mess right now.
There was a long pause from the other end of the line. "Devin, you have to contact his commander. If he’s not deployed he needs to get to Virginia Beach as soon as possible. There's been a tragedy. Jason was killed early this morning on a mission. I think it was Pakistan. Cruz will want to be there for his family."
Devin’s mind raced. Who is Jason? Then a gasp caught painfully in her chest. "Oh no Ella. Not Riggs!"
Her mother-in-law’s voice wasn’t as soft when she spoke again. "Devin, you are going to have to be strong for my boy. This won’t be easy on you either, I know, but those two signed up together the day they turned eighteen. They’ve been through hell together. Call his commander now. If Cruz isn’t at Jason’s funeral it will torture him for a lifetime."
The only good news that night was that Cruz was training on a sub, seven miles offshore and was back at the house packing within three hours. He was dazed and fumbling with his dress uniform. Devin had already packed everything else he would need.