Broken Fae

by Caroline Peckham

  "Good," Dante said, sweeping the contract back off of the desk and pocketing it. He picked up Gareth's duffle bag where it lay by the door, still cloaked with his magic so that I only even noticed it because he'd grabbed it.

  In the next moment, I found myself in his arms again, pressed to his bloodstained skin, the scent of man and violence so intoxicating that I wanted to breathe it in all day and night.

  "Finish this, take your time, Elise is famiglia and I want the message driven home before you clean up," Dante commanded without turning to look back at his Wolves as he moved to leave the room.

  "Famiglia?" one of the Wolves questioned and the growl that left Dante's lips would have been terrifying if I hadn't felt so undeniably safe and protected in his arms.

  "Leon Night is my brother whether he's sworn allegiance to the Oscuras or not," he hissed. "His mate will be counted as the same."

  The members of his Clan instantly agreed with him, soft whimpers coming from the Wolf who had dared to question it in apology.

  Dante's eyes met mine and I could practically feel the pain in his soul at having to cover for our connection like that and I reached up to paint the lines of his jaw with my fingertips.

  He walked me straight out of The Sparkling Uranus and I never took my gaze from his.

  When we slipped back into the car that no one had dared steal, Dante still didn't release me, pulling me down into the driver's seat on his lap and closing the door as I curled against him in the tight space.

  He was holding onto me like I was some precious thing that might break if he let go, and I was letting him because I knew that I was the only thing keeping him from losing himself to the dark entirely right now.

  "No one will ever hurt you while I draw breath, Elise," he swore. "My heart is yours and my strength is too. Never doubt that, no matter what way the rest of this plays out."

  My heart thudded desperately against my ribs as he leaned forward to deliver the kiss I was aching for. But he pressed it to my forehead instead of my lips and I felt like I was shattering all over again.

  "A morte e ritorno, Elise." Dante slid me over into my seat and pulled the car away from the last remnants of my old life as I tried to cling onto something solid after everything I’d just found out.

  "To death and back, Dante," I agreed, giving his words back to him as I reached across to take his hand and he let me have it. "Always."

  I sat alone at breakfast, jabbing a spoon into my oatmeal which was dry and lacking any flavour. I had a chocolate bar in my pocket which I'd taken from the buffet for fuck knew what reason and I kept thinking about getting it out and breaking it up on top of my food. I didn't need shitty chocolate on my food anyway. It didn't have a single beneficial nutrient in it. Food was fuel. But then Elise had to come along and fuck that up. Giving me a taste for fucking sugar.

  I growled as I ignored the chocolate bar and shovelled the rest of my breakfast into my mouth, chasing it down with a glass of water before standing. A few of the new freshman Lunar recruits hurried to clear my table as I strode past the rest of the Brotherhood who shot me furtive glances. Bryce's morning report had consisted of fuck all today, and that pissed me off because I was hankering for a fight.

  Ever since I'd had a piece of Elise in The Iron Wood, I'd been like this. Angry. If I'd been furious at her before, it was nothing to the way I felt now. And I'd fast gone back to ignoring her. I didn't even feel good about having Leon's mate suck my cock. No, in the back of my head like a treacherous little fucker, a voice had whispered that it wouldn't have been all bad if he'd been there too. By the shit-stained stars…

  I shoved through the double doors and headed to the Acrux Courtyard, marching across it to where the bleachers sat opposite the picnic tables, parted by a strip of concrete that marked no man’s land between the Lunars and the Oscuras.

  I strode behind the bleachers, dropped down to sit in the shadow beneath it in the cool grass, took out that fucking chocolate bar and ripped the wrapper open. I ate half of it in one bite, the sweetness flooding my senses and reminding me of Elise. For a second, it was like she was here, hand-feeding it to me, sitting in my lap and gazing at me like she loved me. Like she wanted me to experience everything there was to offer in this world because I'd denied myself so much for so long. And I missed that. I hated that I missed that. And I especially hated that I was sitting here trying to relive some small piece of it like a pathetic son of a bitch.

  I pushed the last of the bar into my mouth just as Ethan Shadowbrook appeared, stepping around the back of the bleachers and raising his brows as he spotted me on the ground.

  "Are you fucking following me?" I was on my feet in a flash and I cursed internally as my words were spoken around a mouthful of chocolate. Shit.

  I grabbed him by the collar, throwing him to the dirt and he raised his hands in innocence. He was a big fucker, but he didn’t fight me. How long was I going to keep the faith of my people if they found me hiding out here eating fucking chocolate like a kid hiding sweets from their mamma?

  "Woah, woah, it's all good boss," he swore, reaching into his pocket and taking out three more chocolate bars in offering. "I come here and eat snacks all the fucking time. I can't get more than two mouthfuls in in the Cafaeteria without a chick whispering in my ear about all the dirty things she wants me to do to her. And shit, I'll do them, Ryder. But a guy's gotta eat if he wants to have the stamina, you know?"

  I released a breath of amusement. Since Shadowbrook was obviously gunning for second in command and Bryce had taken a serious disliking to the guy, I'd started to assess him for the role. Sure, Bryce had proved his mettle, but the pecking order wasn’t set in stone. If Shadowbrook was stronger, he'd naturally take the position anyway. I was starting to think he might be a candidate too. Apart from his pretty boy, playboy bullshit, I'd seen the guy floor Fae in their senior year. That kind of power always called to me. And I already knew I could trust him; his family was well known amongst the Brotherhood.

  He tossed me a chocolate bar and it bounced off my chest, falling to the ground with a soft thump.

  "I don't eat chocolate," I growled and he frowned for a second before scooping it up again and picking up the wrapper I'd left on the ground too. I clenched my jaw, my hands curling into fists as I waited for him to deny it.

  "Nah, you don't," he agreed, tucking the wrapper into his pocket. "But I do. I eat a fuck load under these bleachers. I’m always leaving bars here for later in fact." He tossed a couple deeper under the bleachers with a smirk. "Terrible sweet tooth, me.”

  I bit down on a smirk, nodding to him. This fucker had balls bigger than a shifted Dragon's.

  "I always keep a stash here, saves me getting them from the breakfast buffet." He pushed himself to his feet and I glanced at the bars he'd left there in the dark. Clearly for me. He was covering for my ass like a good little Lunar and offering to feed my bad habit while doing it. Not that I was going to eat those fucking chocolate bars. But it earned him merit all the same.

  I turned to leave and he clapped a hand to my shoulder.

  "One more thing, boss."

  I turned to him, hissing to make him take his hand back before I broke every bone in it.

  "You know that kid you had us watching in our ranks?" He took out his Atlas, bringing up a video which showed the newly initiated freshman speaking with a few of the Oscura Wolves.

  "Rat," I snarled, anger blazing through me. "Bring him here to me at lunchtime. I'll show the new recruits what happens to traitors in the Brotherhood."

  "Sure thing." He smiled brightly like I'd told him to give the kid a milkshake and a neck rub.

  I paused before I walked away as something occurred to me. "Why wasn't this in Bryce's morning report?"

  "Because I don't report to him, I report to you," he said seriously. "Do you want me to pass on the info through him instead?"

  I considered that for a moment then shook my head. "No, continue as you are. Let's see what you're made o
f, Shadowbrook."

  "My mom always said I was made of stardust and rainbows. I guess she didn't notice my heart made of shadows and my cock made of every girl's dreams."

  "Or your tongue made of bullshit," I said dryly, though I was quietly amused. He snorted a laugh as I strode away and I wondered when he might challenge Bryce. It seemed inevitable to me. But it looked like he was proving his worth first.

  I headed away to class and checked my messages along the way. Scarlett still hadn't pinned down a way to get to Felix's second, Salvatore, and I was growing impatient. Which was exactly why I'd decided I had to bond with fucking Big Bird. He still hadn't had a single vision on my behalf, despite the fact that I'd shared Elise with him and told him way too much of how I felt about her since. I knew I was avoiding the subject of Mariella, but maybe that was what he needed to hear to be able to find her for me. Or maybe I was wasting my fucking time and befriending that feathery asshole for no good reason.

  I'd go to the roof again tonight like I did every night lately and maybe he'd finally see something. I found my mood lifting as I decided on that, though obviously not because I gave a shit about spending time with some Sesame Street reject. I just wanted that bitch's location. And once I had it, Gabriel could go take a running jump off his precious fucking roof with his wings tied to his back. I didn't really give a fuck.

  ***

  The day was dragging by, especially as I'd gone back to avoiding Elise. I sat behind her in Astrology and watched her gaze at the stars while Professor Rayburn talked about Elysian Mates and even had Elise go and stand up in front of the whole class, using a projection spell to cast an image of her eyes up onto the ceiling above. I'd walked out before the bell rang and now it was lunchtime and the only thing I was hungry for was blood.

  I sat on the bleachers, waiting for the Brotherhood to arrive, flexing and curling my fingers as my heart thudded faster than its usual slow beat, thumping against my ribcage with brute force like it was trying to break free. If I could, I'd let it cut through flesh and bone to escape and then maybe I wouldn't have to suffer through this bullshit anymore. I'd heard what Elise had said in the forest. I'd taken from her and I'd kissed those cherry lips and branded myself on her again. But as soon as it was over, I knew that was it. All I could have of her was that. And where fucking should have been enough, now it wasn't. I wanted the rest of her. Being given a piece of the girl who belonged to fucking Simba was degrading, not to mention infuriating.

  I didn't do stuff by halves. And I’d been willing to go all in with her, had been ready to plunge into the unknown and drown in the light of her. No matter what it cost me, no matter what the Brotherhood thought. I'd never even had her to myself. The two times I'd had a real piece of her since Inferno and I had broken the deal was alongside my worst enemy and then with the asshole who'd sworn to the moon and the fucking sun that Elise would drop me like a sack of shit the second the stars chose her for him. Idiot. Though I knew Gabriel was eating his words now. And maybe I felt one percent shitty about that on his behalf. We were both just yesterday's meal. Spooned in, chewed, spat out. At least he could admit he was an idiot for acting the way he had. And I didn't even have it in me to mock him over it. Not when we were sitting in the same boat, riding all the way down shit creek without a paddle.

  The Oscuras arrived before the Lunars did, piling onto the picnic tables on the other side of no man's land and I watched as Inferno sat up on a table and his Wolves grouped around him, hugging and nuzzling him before they settled down. They started joking and laughing together, a few of them tussling in the grass and Dante was soon pulled down amongst them, his laughter calling to me as I stared on unblinkingly. The void in my chest deepened until I found myself riddled with envy.

  I didn't even realise the Lunars had arrived until Bryce dropped down beside me and I jolted out of my fixation on Inferno and his pack.

  I turned to Bryce, eyeing him as if for the first time. His dark hair was swept back and he wore one of his signature wife beaters, his muscular arms on show. He was tapping out something on his Atlas and I cleared my throat to get his attention.

  "How long have I known you, Bryce?" I asked and he frowned, shifting nervously in his seat as if he expected that to be a trick question.

  "Since freshman year, boss," he said. "Right?"

  "Right," I grunted. "And why don't we ever..." I trailed off, struggling to finish that sentence as my throat tightened. I mean, it wasn't the most absurd idea in the fucking world that I might hang out with one of my people. I didn't want a friend obviously, but maybe I wanted...something.

  I looked over at the Oscuras again as they started playing tag like children. It would have annoyed me once, made me want to rip their spines out for acting like morons. But today…fuck, why was today different? Why did I look at them and see a mirror held up to myself, showing me how much I lacked in my life? How fucking empty it was.

  "What boss?" Bryce asked curiously.

  "Do stuff...together," I said thickly. By the fucking sun, what was going on with me today?

  "Let's go cull some Oscuras tonight. I heard Inferno and his pack are heading to town. We could follow them, spill a few guts, cut some throats." He smiled widely at me and my fists clenched in irritation.

  "That's not what I meant."

  "Oh, you want another fight? I could drag some freshmen down to the beach tonight and you could shatter their spines and-"

  "No," I snapped just as Shadowbrook arrived with the little traitor he'd mentioned. The kid was barely five feet tall and skinny as a runt. He pissed his pants before he was even shoved down onto his knees in front of me.

  I wasn't in the mood for business anymore. Usually cracking skulls would have been just what I needed, but fuck this. I wanted more. I wanted something that wasn't this bullshit life I led every day. I was tired of waking up eating dry porridge and walking around this school while everyone cowered away from me like my breath was poisonous. It was what I'd worked for years to accomplish. I'd wanted this life. But then Elise had collided with my world like a fucking meteor and nothing felt right anymore. I couldn't just act like she'd never affected me. And it made me so fucking angry. Angrier than I had ever been. What right did she have to do this to me? To fuck up everything I'd earned in life, make me want for more than this. Make me look at Inferno and actually envy him.

  I pushed to my feet and snarled at the kid and he yelped, pressing back against Shadowbrook in fright.

  "I needed the money," he squeaked. "My ma can't pay her bills, I'll have to give up my place here and work to help her if I don't make money. It's not personal." He screwed up his face, waiting for me to hit him as I raised my fist. And suddenly I was standing before another guy as desperate as him. A guy who'd been so hellbent on saving his sister from the shitty life she'd been raised in that he'd ended up dead for it.

  I grabbed the collar of his shirt, dragging him forward so his feet practically came off the ground. I locked him in my eyes and snared him in my hypnosis. I swore as I accidentally made him look like Gareth as I brought him to a dungeon of my creation. He trembled and a whinny escaped him, a noise I remembered after choking the living hell out of Elise’s brother. No, fuck no.

  The hypnosis seemed to hold onto me for once, not letting me change his appearance. And seeing Gareth just made guilt well in me and my worthless soul tear at the seams.

  "I fucked up," I told him, my heart splitting apart. "I didn't know and if I had I don't think I'd have done the right thing anyway. I'm not Inferno, I'm no one's hero."

  “Wh-what?” The kid trembled like a leaf, his eyes darting between mine as he tried to figure out what the fuck was going on. If he'd thought I was crazy before, I'd just elevated that image tenfold.

  "You'll leave the Brotherhood and you won't deal with the Oscuras again," I snarled as I grasped the hypnosis in my hold and forced his appearance to change. "How much is your mother's rent?"

  He gaped at me before stuttering out the answe
r. "Th-three hundred a month."

  "I'll have the Kiplings give it to you in cash each month so long as you stay the fuck out of my business. And you don't breathe a word of this to anyone or I'll snap your fucking neck and no one will ever find your body."

  He stared at me in utter shock before nodding several times in agreement. "I swear it. I won't tell anyone." He held out his hand to me and I slapped mine into it, striking the deal.

  "You'll still take a beating for this," I growled, trying to regain control on whatever the fuck was happening right now.

  He quivered a little, but lifted his chin and nodded like a true Fae. I released him from the hypnosis and shoved him into Shadowbrook's arms.

  "Teach him a lesson," I commanded then strode away, feeling Bryce rushing to my side with a burst of his Vampire speed.

  "What's going on?" he asked. "Since when does Shadowbrook handle traitors?" There was an edge to his tone that I didn't like and I snarled at him in warning.

  "You're not acting like yourself," he said, not backing down. "This is because of that girl."

  "Fuck off," I snapped.

  "I know you don't wanna hear it, but she's screwing with your head, boss," he pushed. "Look...I'm not supposed to tell you this because it was meant to be a surprise, but..."

  "What?" I grunted, my attention snared as I strode through the Acrux Courtyard with no particular destination in mind.

  "Me and a few of the guys have laid a little trap at the beach for that Lion. He's headed there right now after we forged a note from his little Vampire whore. I saw her go to the library with that Sphinx girl and-" I whirled around, grabbing him by the throat.

  "You call her a whore again and I'll have your eyes burned out, you piece of shit."

  His expression darkened as I shoved him away from me. "She's your weakness."

  "Shut your mouth. You’re about to get exiled." I meant it and the look on his face said he knew it.

  "Alright." He bowed his head in submission. "But...just come to the beach. You'll feel better when you see the Lion on his knees bleeding out. Who knows, maybe he'll be tapped out and he won't manage to heal himself in time." He grinned darkly and my stomach clenched.