ZAAN (Sidewinders: Generations Book 1)

by Kat Mizera

  The next time I looked up, it was almost eight o’clock and I grimaced. “Guys, tonight’s a huge game for the Sidewinders… I can’t miss it.”

  “Shit.” Tyler looked at his watch. “I forgot all about it. You heading that way? Can I catch a ride? I rode with Bash but I don’t think he wants to go.”

  “I’m tired,” Casey said, “so we have an extra ticket, but I’m sure Jayson wants to go.”

  We piled into two cars, taking Ford and Stu with us, and I rushed off to find Mack and the others. I felt a little guilty about being late, but Zaan wouldn’t know unless someone told him, and frankly, he probably wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t come at all. I loved watching him play, but something had been really strange with him since I’d been home. I’d given him space so he could focus on the game, but as soon as it was over, we were going to talk.

  The Sidewinders won, which was a huge relief, and I followed Mack and the other WAGs down to the family lounge. I was shocked when Zaan came in and immediately pulled me into a hug.

  “Hi.” I looked up at him, gently disengaging.

  “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been behaving,” he said quietly.

  I met his gaze pointedly. “Are you going to tell me what’s been bothering you?”

  He nodded. “I will, but first, I need to know if you went to the doctor?”

  “Not now,” I said under my breath.

  “Okay.” He wrapped his hand around mine, made excuses for us and practically dragged me out to his car.

  “What are we doing?” I asked in surprise.

  “Going home,” he grunted.

  “I have my car,” I protested.

  “We’ll come back and get it in the morning.”

  “Zaan, I don’t think—” I began.

  “Can we just go home?” he demanded, meeting my gaze.

  “Yes, but I’m not leaving my car here.”

  He sighed. “Okay. I’ll see you at home.”

  I drove home wondering what was going on with him and if he was going to dump me tonight. I’d steeled myself for it as we went up the elevator. He was tense, as if he was really stressed, but he still wasn’t talking and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

  He unlocked the front door and let me walk in ahead of him.

  “What are you doing?” I asked in surprise as he pushed me against the wall of the foyer.

  “What do you think?” He dug his fingers into my hair almost painfully. “Do you want me, Lexi?”

  “Of course, but—”

  He unexpectedly crashed his mouth to mine, his tongue urgent as he plunged it into my mouth. I barely had time to wrap my head around what he was doing before he tore my T-shirt, ripping it right down the middle. I would have gasped if I’d been able to, but he was still kissing me, his mouth pillaging mine. It was brutal, a kind of intensity I’d never felt from him, but it was hotter than hell. Though I lamented the loss of my favorite Sidewinders T-shirt, I couldn’t think about anything but his hands on my skin, the faint taste of whiskey on his breath, and his five o’clock shadow chafing my chin.

  “You said you like it rough,” he growled, his face close to mine.

  “Yes.” My breath caught a little as he yanked my shorts and panties down with one hand, and motioned to his jeans. “Take them off and get on your knees.”

  I dropped down, unzipping his jeans and sliding them to his knees, as he pushed into my mouth. This was a new Zaan, gritty and demanding, which I liked despite not expecting this from him. He dug his fingers into my hair, holding my head as he pumped in and out of my mouth. He pushed deeper and deeper, until he hit the back of my throat and I gagged. I enjoyed giving head, but I’d never taken it this deep before and my eyes watered as he held me firmly.

  “Relax your throat,” he said in a strangely gentle voice that was a stark contrast to how rough he was being. “I’m going to pull back, so take a breath and then relax when I push back in.”

  I followed his instructions and this time the feeling was different. Still a bit overwhelming, still rougher than I was used to, but so fucking hot to be able to practically swallow his dick. He’d never pushed it before and though I’d given him a lot of blow jobs when we’d been together, this time was different, as if he’d been waiting for an opportunity to go this far.

  Normally his stamina was impressive, but now it was a mixture of amazing and terrifying because I’d never given head like this, and had never seen this side of Zaan. Not like this.

  I couldn’t move, couldn’t think, could barely breathe, and when he finally came, I nearly choked, though I swallowed every last drop before he let go of my head. I’d barely had time to catch my breath when he grabbed me and lifted me to my feet.

  “I went shopping the other day,” he said, reaching down and pulling a small package from the pocket of his jeans.

  “For what?” I asked. “What is it?”

  “Go get on the bed,” he said, his eyes glittering with intensity I’d never seen there before.

  I glanced over my shoulder at him but then hurried into the bedroom, wondering what he was up to now. He’d ripped my shirt off and removed my shorts and panties, so I was already naked as I climbed on the bed, anticipating whatever was coming next. He was a few seconds behind me, also naked now, and he crawled on the bed after me.

  “On your hands and knees,” he said, hiding whatever was in his hand.

  26

  Zaan

  She immediately complied, though it was obvious she had no idea what I was up to and I’d totally caught her by surprise tonight. I found the lube and squirted some on her ass, which made her jump, and then rubbed it in between her cheeks.

  “Oh my god,” she breathed, tensing a little.

  “Relax,” I said, running my hand down the small of her back. “Something small to start with.”

  I didn’t give her any warning and gently but firmly started pushing the plug inside of her. It wasn’t very big, but there’d never been anything beyond my finger in there and she clenched in protest.

  “It won’t hurt,” I said softly. “Come on, breathe out.”

  It took a few seconds, but she managed to exhale shakily and I pushed past the resistant ring of muscles. The plug settled in with a little plop and I waited as she tried to adjust. She let out a little huff of frustration when I didn’t do anything else, merely sat there, with my hand on one of her ass cheeks, gently caressing it.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Trying to decide how I’m going to fuck you.” I patted her backside. “How do you like the plug?”

  “It’s weird,” she admitted, “but I’m excited to see how it feels.”

  “You’re going to wear it every day,” I said, leaning over her back. “And after a week, we’re going to switch to a bigger one.”

  “Oh boy.” She blew out a breath as I pushed inside of her without warning. She was still on her hands and knees. “Between your cock and the plug, the pressure is different… Kind of amazing, but intense, too.”

  I fisted her hair and lifted her, sliding back on my haunches and forcing her to do the same. She was impaled on my cock and I drove it into her over and over, hoping the plug in her ass was adding another layer of intensity. My free hand traveled to the apex between her thighs, pushing a finger inside of her alongside my cock, and she started to pant. I moved to her clit and pinched it, hard, making her cry out, and then I gentled my touch, using her arousal as lubricant, allowing me to slide up and down her slit without resistance.

  “You’re gonna like having my fingers inside of you when I’m fucking your ass,” I growled against her ear.

  “Yes…”

  “And when I’m finally fucking your ass, I’m going to fuck your pussy with a dildo at the same time, until you can’t move.”

  “Oh god.” She was squirming, making little noises I couldn’t identify. It was too much and not enough. She screamed as she started to orgasm. It didn’t build slowly like it normally di
d, instead racing through us both in a rush. She was crying out, but I couldn’t stop. Even when that gorgeous pussy of hers stopped convulsing around me, I kept moving, pushing a finger inside of her again and again, curving it up to the place that brought her over the edge again.

  “Mine,” I grunted, moving faster. “This pussy, this ass, every fucking inch of you is all mine. You understand me?”

  “Yes!” She was on the verge of coming yet again, her body no longer her own, as I went at her harder than I ever had before.

  “Say it,” I hissed. “And then come all over my fingers and my cock.”

  I’d never fucked a woman like this before, but the need to somehow own Lexi, in a way that went beyond how much I loved her, had overwhelmed me tonight. And I needed her to love it as much as I did.

  “Oh, god, yes, please…” She was shaking from the ferocity of our lovemaking and the two orgasms she’d already had, and when I pressed that spongey part inside of her with just the right pressure, she came apart.

  I’d watched her come hundreds of times but it was nothing like this time. Her body shook violently, a sheen of sweat breaking out on her skin as her juices coated both my finger and my cock. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and it sent me right over the edge with her, my cock exploding inside of her. I’d come not long ago myself, so the intensity surprised me, but it was beyond good. It was fucking everything. She was fucking everything.

  I slowly removed the finger that was inside of her and released her hair, but slid my arm around her waist as she started to collapse. I fell with her, my cock still pulsing inside of her as we hit the sheets.

  “Sweet fucking hell, what was that?” she gasped.

  “You’ve said you like it rough.” I held her close to me, pressing my lips to her bare shoulder.

  “Did you spend tonight at that sex club learning new tricks or something?” she asked, giggling.

  “Maybe.” She stiffened and I gently nipped her skin. “I’m kidding, Lex. I would never do something like that.”

  “Good thing. I’d have to cut a bitch if I thought you were fooling around.”

  “Not happening.” I slowly pulled away. “I’ll be right back.”

  Like I always did, I cleaned her up and then dropped the washcloth over the side of the bed before pulling her into my arms. She nestled against me and wiggled a little.

  “What about the plug?”

  “That stays in. All the time except when you shower or use the bathroom. That’s the best way to prep for anal so I don’t hurt you when we do it.”

  “Okay.” She relaxed against me. “But I was beginning to think you didn’t want to be together anymore at all.”

  “That’s never what I want,” I said softly. “Sometimes it’s about what both of us need.” I was exhausted and my eyes were starting to close. I needed to talk to her about a million things, but I was too sleepy.

  “I love you,” she whispered as I drifted off.

  I wasn’t sure if I answered her.

  When I opened my eyes, I was alone in bed and I sat up, listening for Lexi. I heard the shower going and decided to join her, since she would undoubtedly be leaving soon.

  “Did I wake you?” she asked as I stepped into the shower.

  “Nah. I rarely sleep late.” I pulled her close and kissed her. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning.” She turned in my arms and wound hers around my neck.

  “How’s your ass?” I asked, sliding a finger between her cheeks, though I didn’t do anything else.

  “It’s fine. I almost miss the plug now.”

  I chuckled. “We’ll put it back as soon as you’re out of the shower.”

  She paused. “You really want me to wear it all day? Like, when I’m working?”

  “That’s the only way to train your ass, and also, it can serve as a reminder of the man waiting for you at home.”

  “Like I could ever forget.” She smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes and she abruptly lowered them. “Except, I don’t know if I actually have a man waiting at home for me. We started talking about that last night but you fell asleep.”

  She was right, but she was wrong, because I had news that might change everything for us, though I wasn’t quite sure how to tell her. Instead, I’d claimed her like a fucking lion in heat last night and now I was being a passive little kitten.

  Instead of answering right away, I scrubbed her back, and once she got out, I washed my hair and rinsed off. I joined her a few minutes later, wrapping a towel around my waist.

  “Do you have to leave right away?” I asked her.

  “Yeah, I kind of do. Everyone is in town and we’re going to try to get this album done.”

  “We need to talk about a few things… Can you give me five minutes?”

  “Of course. What’s up?”

  “First, tell me about the doctor.”

  She explained what a lipoma was and how the doctors wanted to do a biopsy just to make sure, and though I was mostly relieved, she wasn’t completely out of the woods yet, which made what I had to tell her that much more important.

  “That’s really great. I wish you weren’t having it done when I’m out of town.”

  “I’ll have Mack with me. It’s no big deal.”

  I blew out a breath. “Well, I got some good news yesterday.”

  “Then why do you look like you’re about to throw up?”

  “Because you might be mad.”

  She frowned. “Whatever it is, just tell me.”

  “I sent your contract to Nate’s family’s lawyer and he found a way to get you out of everything.”

  Her eyes narrowed and she just stared at me. “You did what?”

  “I sent your contract to—”

  “I heard you.” She put her hands on her hips. “Why would you do something like that? I told you I was handling it.”

  “But you haven’t handled anything!” I protested. “You’ve been freaking out about the possibility of another album and once you found the lump I needed to do something to help in one of the only ways I can. Stress isn’t good for anyone, but if this turned out to be cancer again, I didn’t want—”

  “You didn’t want what? For me to handle my own life, no matter how many times I’ve asked you to let me?”

  “Lexi, you don’t have to do another album! There’s a clause for illness and—”

  “I know.” She glared at me. “I hired another lawyer, one that Casey recommended, to check it out. I’m not an idiot. She helped me find someone who specializes in those types of contracts and I was going to surprise you with the news once everything was settled, which is supposed to happen this coming week.”

  “I just wanted to help,” I said quietly.

  “Even though I told you I had it under control.” Her lips tightened. “Why do you keep trying to fix everything for me? I’m a grown woman and I’ve asked you a dozen times to let me handle it.”

  “But you never took action before,” I protested.

  The look of fury on her face made me cringe. “Go to hell.” She turned her back to me and went into the bedroom, yanking on panties and a bra. “I spent years with my overbearing, insecure mother trying to smother me so I’d never leave her. And you know what happened? She ruined our relationship. I don’t even want to talk to her anymore because of all the shit she used to pull. I don’t need that with the man in my life.”

  “You can’t compare what she did to what I did,” I said, watching her warily. “I just wanted—”

  “Then why the fuck are you acting like her?” she demanded, interrupting me. “Don’t you see how condescending and controlling this is? You didn’t have my permission to send that contract to anyone, and now, we’ve wasted money because we both paid to have it looked at by two people for the same damn thing.”

  “It wasn’t meant to be condescending,” I said, frustrated. “Why are you making it sound like I was trying to hurt you? I wanted to help, so you wouldn’t h
ave to play with Special Kay for another second, much less for another tour!”

  “Oh, bullshit. Admit it—you just wanted to keep me from leaving again, and you know what? It’s not going to work because if this thing with Pretty Harts takes off, I will be on tour again. Hopefully, for a long time. If you can’t understand how important my career is, then you definitely don’t love me the way I love you.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “It means that I would never try to trick you into leaving hockey and that you tried to do that with my career—”

  I’d fucked up royally. I’d never seen her so upset with me and as she yanked on the rest of her clothes, I realized she was starting to pack, so I interrupted her this time. “Okay, maybe I was wrong in going behind your back, but I wasn’t trying to trick you! Lexi, please, what are you doing?”

  “I’m packing.” She hadn’t fully unpacked yet since coming back from tour, so she was done far too quickly, and I followed her into the bathroom as she started gathering her toiletries.

  “You can’t just leave like this.”

  “I’m done, Zaan. I love you, but I don’t understand who you’ve become lately. I’m not perfect, by any means, but I would never try to undermine your career. This was a dick move.”

  “So you’re leaving because I tried to help you get out of a contract you were desperate to get out of?”

  “I’m leaving because you don’t respect the fact that I’m a capable, independent woman who doesn’t need to be saved. I had this handled. It was meant to be a surprise for you, to let you know I have our best interests, as a couple, at the forefront of my mind. Casey and I have been talking about ways to make my schedule mesh with yours. Instead, you went behind my back, showing me not just that you don’t trust that I can take care of myself, but that you don’t trust in my commitment to this relationship.”