Hers

by Becca Jameson

  He said he didn’t care how long it took her to open up to him about her past, but he didn’t realize the time frame on that was two hundred years. Was it possible he could live with that?

  Of course not. Who was she kidding? No one could accept those conditions. That’s why she didn’t pursue relationships. There would never be a way to avoid discussing a four-year hole in her life.

  She took a deep breath and let it out. For the first time in…forever, she felt like maybe she could give herself another shot at life. Gage made her see that. Even though she couldn’t possibly continue this farce with him, at least she knew she could come out of the fog and find some sort of happiness.

  She was twenty-six years old. She could never be what someone else deserved or needed, but if there was anyone on the planet she wanted to spend time with, it would be Gage. Hands down. His sexy self had starred in more than a few of her dreams since she’d first met him two years ago. But date him? Submit to him? Could she do it?

  Could she not?

  She’d essentially been seeing him for two days. It seemed like longer. He’d wormed his way into every aspect of her life quickly. Hell, his dog was running around her yard. She’d shared several meals with him. They were already an item.

  The sliding door opened behind her, and she turned to find the very man in her thoughts stepping outside. “Woman, you leave your front door unlocked?”

  She smiled. That was the first thing he had to say to her? She didn’t respond. “You’re back.”

  “And you leave your front door unlocked.” He took the seat next to her, pulling it to her side.

  “Only when a two-hundred pound hunk of muscle is going to return for his guard dog, and I’m sitting out back.”

  “Well, it isn’t safe. Don’t do it.” He glanced at the small table next to her where her phone sat. He picked it up and handed it to her. “Put my number in there. And then send me a text so I’ll have yours. Next time I’ll call when I’m almost here instead.”

  Next time. She hadn’t consented to that verbally yet.

  He rattled off his number, and she quickly sent him a text. The vibration of her text hummed in his pocket, but he didn’t retrieve it right then.

  Thor lifted his head briefly, but then he set it back down. “You wore my dog out.”

  “I did.”

  “Thanks. Now I don’t have to take him for a walk tonight. More time with you.” He turned back to face her.

  Suddenly she felt nervous, like a teenager on her first date.

  “Did you think about what I said?”

  “Yes.”

  “And?” He leaned forward, brushing a lock of hair from her cheek and tucking it behind her ear.

  How was she supposed to say no to that? Everything he did was tender and sensitive.

  “I suck at relationships.”

  “I don’t.” His confidence was swift and startling.

  She met and held his gaze in the dim light coming from the kitchen.

  He watched her intently, waiting. Not pressuring her with words, but nudging her all the same with his incredible presence and the way he looked at her.

  “I’m rusty. And I haven’t been with a man in…”

  “Two years?”

  “Right. About that.”

  He smiled broader. “So you’ll give me a chance?”

  She nodded, her bottom lip making its way between her teeth. No way in hell could she turn him down. Her resolve melted in the face of his intense stare. “Like a date?”

  “Dating. Like a couple.”

  She curled up her nose. “You want to have a relationship with me?”

  “Of course.”

  “I don’t know, Gage. That’s a lot. It’s so fast.” She curled her fingers into fists, hoping the bite of her nails digging into her palms would ground her. Her heart beat faster, considering what he was offering her.

  “We’ve known each other for two years.”

  “In passing.”

  “Long enough for me to know I like you and you to know I won’t hurt you.”

  “I can’t date you, Gage. I can’t date anyone.”

  “Ever?” He narrowed his gaze.

  “Well, yeah.” It sounded stupid when put that way.

  “Never. You’re never going to date anyone again.”

  “Right.” Her voice was softer.

  “Kayla, that’s jacked up.” He set his hands on his jeans and rubbed his palms. “Do you like me?”

  “Of course.” She sucked in a breath when she blurted those words too quickly.

  Gage leaned forward until his face was inches from hers again. “Look, I know you have issues. Hell, we all have issues. I’m asking you to set them aside and take a chance.” He paused and then continued. “I’ll make you a deal. I won’t so much as mention what happened to you while you were away from Vegas. If it’s that painful for you, let’s set it aside indefinitely. I also won’t pressure you to sleep with me. Take all the time you need. Or if it never feels right, don’t take that step. We’ll go our separate ways.

  “But let me be your friend and sometimes Dom. We can hang out together, eat meals, go to movies, whatever. And in between we can go to the club or do some D/s scenes at one of our houses. Whatever you want.”

  She hesitated. It was impossible to tell this man no. There was no other person she’d rather dominate her at the moment, and she needed that. There was also no other person she wanted to spend time with outside the office and the club. And frankly, she needed that too. But what he was proposing was above and beyond. “So, you’d take a risk like this, hang out with me, dominate me, befriend me, with no promise of more?”

  “Yes.” He didn’t hesitate.

  “Why?” Even though she thought she was losing her mind considering this proposition, she found herself propelled to accept. He’s not Simon… He’s not rushing you, pressuring you… Dragging you to the altar and out of town…

  He lifted one hand and cupped her face. “I believe you’re worth it.”

  A flush stole its way up her face, making her skin burn. She had the urge to turn in to his palm and kiss his hand.

  Seconds went by. He waited.

  “Okay.”

  The way his face lit up made her sure of her decision. She was nervous as fuck and had no idea how to go about dating someone, let alone a giant Dom, but her heart told her to try.

  Gage reached down and hauled her off her chair and into his lap. He nuzzled her neck with his face. “You won’t regret it. Swear.”

  When he lifted his face again, he met her gaze. “May I kiss you?”

  She melted, her body oozing into his lap like honey. The man asks for permission to kiss me? Two seconds into this new relationship and she was a blithering idiot. All she could do was nod.

  His lips met hers, his gaze still holding her hostage. Soft, gentle, and so fucking fantastic. At first he nibbled across her mouth, and then he angled to one side and deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking the seam of her lips. He didn’t pressure her in any way, but she opened to him, craving more than he was giving. In fact, she slipped her tongue out to meet his first, delving into his mouth and tasting him for the first time. Mint…and Gage. Pure Gage. The best flavor she’d ever had. He’d gone out of his way to suck on a mint on the way to her house. Just in case…

  Simon had never bothered to adjust his breath for her. At least not after the “honeymoon” stage. She’d hated kissing him. And hated it more and more as the years wore on.

  Kayla broke the kiss with that bad memory tainting her. She shook the thought of Simon from her head, literally, and unfortunately, made Gage think her weirdness had something to do with him.

  He squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to pressure you.”

  She shook her head again, harder this time. “No. That was…perfect. I just… It’s not you.”

  “’K.” He set his forehead against hers. “Good.” He pulled her closer.

  Sh
e could feel his cock pressing against her hip and sat very still.

  “I need to go. You need to get to bed.”

  She pulled back, stunned. He would leave with his cock like that?

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” She shook her head again. She was making herself dizzy.

  “You’re going to be a mystery every minute, aren’t you?” He smiled. There was no malice in his statement.

  “Probably.”

  He narrowed his gaze. “How many men have you been with?”

  She opened her mouth, not to speak but because she couldn’t believe he would ask that.

  This time he shook his head. “Don’t answer that. Sorry.”

  She swallowed. She needed to grow some balls and give him a few tiny details. If she didn’t, this would never work. “One. And he was an ass.”

  Gage froze, his eyes darting back and forth staring into hers.

  She worked hard to hold his gaze so she could watch his reaction.

  “Fuck.”

  That wasn’t quite what she expected, but she agreed. “Yep.”

  He took a deep breath. “Well that explains a lot. No wonder.” He lifted his hands from her arms to her face and held her cheeks. “I promise you this will be different. I’m not an ass. I am a Dom. And I think you like that part, but I’m not an ass. If I ever do anything, no matter how small, you don’t like, you’ll tell me and I’ll stop.” He narrowed his eyes again, as if making sure she understood.

  She nodded slowly. She couldn’t believe this guy. Was he real?

  “Kayla, I don’t know what the fuck happened to you, but I can tell I won’t like it. Keep it to yourself for a while. It’s a good plan. I’ll want to know. Later. But for now, just knowing you’ve had a rough past is enough. It affects how I handle you. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that.”

  She decided to speak up. “See, I don’t really want to affect how you handle me. I’m a grown woman. I don’t want kid gloves.”

  He grinned. “And when it’s appropriate, I’ll keep that in mind.” That was all he said.

  Jesus. She was in so much trouble. Already she’d divulged way more than she ever expected to tell any human in this lifetime. She’d agreed to make something of this relationship with Gage not ten minutes ago, and she was in so deep she wasn’t sure she would ever escape.

  She also wasn’t sure she ever wanted to.

  •●•

  Gage drove home with his hands gripping the steering wheel as though it might fly out the window if he didn’t hold on tight. And it was entirely possible. The windows were down, after all. Partly because Thor loved to sit in the front seat with his head halfway out the window, and partly because Gage needed the cool night air to keep from combusting.

  He’d left Kayla on her doorstep, kissing her several more times until he needed to practically run for his car before he lost his resolve to leave at all. The last thing she needed was for him to pressure her to sleep with him. And by that, he wasn’t thinking of the kind of sleeping he’d done next to her last night.

  Nope. His mind was swimming with thoughts of having her naked body beneath his, writhing in need.

  He would. God, he hoped he would. But he needed to take things slow. Give her a chance to catch up. No way would he make love to her until she was flat out begging him. To do otherwise would be insensitive.

  He needed to win her heart over by proving he was not the asshole who’d taken her virginity and damaged her beyond recognition.

  He wondered, not for the first time, what she’d been like before she left Vegas. He knew for a fact whatever she’d been through had occurred during those important years in her early twenties. Wherever she’d been. With whatever jerk she’d been with.

  He pulled into his driveway and shut off the engine. For a minute, he stared out the windshield, still thinking. Kayla was finally his. At least for now. And that was something.

  Deep breaths. He needed to get acquainted with his hand soon before his balls protested. He’d taken a shower at the gym before returning to her, but now he needed another one. Cold. And that wouldn’t even do it.

  Finally, he opened the door. Not because his mind had stopped running away, but because Thor nudged him with his wet nose as if to say, “What gives, man. Let’s get out.”

  Gage let the dog out, waited for him to do his business in the front yard, and then let them both into the house. The dog hung his head as they made their way back to the bedroom. “Dude, I miss her too. Let’s see how long it takes to convince her to sleep over, yeah?” He smiled down at the dog, who had no idea what his owner was talking about.

  Thor wagged his tail and lifted his face. He didn’t actually understand English, did he?

  The cold shower did nothing to help ease Gage’s stiff cock. Nor did the hand job under the cascade of water. When he lay down naked on his sheet, not bothering to pull anything over his still-heated skin, he stared at the ceiling for a long time.

  It was late. That didn’t change how fast and furiously his mind raced.

  Someone had hurt Kayla, damaged her, permanently. He was certain the scars were deep.

  And not just someone, but the only someone she’d ever been with.

  Fucking bastard. Was it one time? Or over the course of months, or even years?

  He cringed, knowing deep inside the answer to that question was years. She’d been gone from Vegas four years. Four years. That long? That was a long time to live under the thumb of a bastard Dom. And he didn’t doubt the man had been her Dom. She’d said she started submitting at the same time she left Vegas. Which left only one option. She’d left Vegas with a man, a Dom, trusting him, maybe even in love with him. And he’d destroyed her, torn her apart piece by piece for several years.

  Where was he now? Had she run away? Was he looking for her? She didn’t seem to have that sort of fear. And that surprised him. If she was that skittish after the cruel experience…if the fucking asshole who’d done this to her was that vicious…why had he let her go?

  Unless he was dead.

  Gage bolted upright, gasping for oxygen at the idea. Had she killed him?

  Instead of feeling fear over the concept, he smiled. He sure fucking hoped so.

  Not that he wanted the authorities after her. Of course not. Just that he didn’t want the jackass coming for her. In fact, he hated that he’d left her alone even tonight.

  And he needed to get over it. Because no time soon would he be entertaining the idea of sleepovers. His cock couldn’t take another night like last night, lying next to her with sheets and shirt and jeans and her damn thong between them.

  He lowered himself back to the bed. Relax, Cujo. She wouldn’t be working for the police station if she was on the run or in trouble with the law.

  So, maybe she hadn’t been arrested at all. Self-defense. Or maybe she didn’t kill anyone, man. Wild enough imagination?

  Whoever the guy was, he couldn’t possibly be a threat now. She’d left the fucking front door open and hadn’t even flinched when Gage returned from the gym.

  At least there was that. One less thing to worry about.

  He flopped onto his stomach and held the pillow under his head. He closed his eyes, but all that got him was images of Kayla—the way she smiled before he left for the gym, the way she tipped her face to meet him when he returned, the way she opened her mouth to accept their first kiss.

  He ignored the parts where she’d been skittish. He would erase those memories from her past and from their future.

  Thor huffed on the floor beside Gage. The dog seemed in tune with the situation, as though he was as exasperated as Gage was with this new line of events.

  Kayla was his. He would court her like a true gentleman and earn her trust, as a man and as her Dom. It would take time, but he had all the time in the world.

  In order to take his mind off Kayla and face a bit of reality, he reached for his cell phone and hit the top button on his favorites list. He knew hi
s mother would still be up. She was a night owl. Plus she hardly slept at all since Dad had his stroke.

  “Hey, sweetie. How are you?” she answered.

  “Good. How’s Dad?”

  “The same. He’s resting. He doesn’t sleep well, but the doctor gave him something new to help him relax and sleep several hours at night.”

  “What about you? Are you getting enough sleep? I worry about you.”

  “I’m fine.” He could hear the smile in her voice. She was the strongest woman he knew. And he loved her more than anything.

  “Are you eating? Do you want me to pick up groceries again and bring them over?”

  “That’d be great. But only if you’re coming anyway. Don’t go out of your way.”

  “Of course I’m coming. I’ll be there tomorrow night. Same as always.” He spent Wednesday nights with his parents every week. And usually Sundays. It was hard seeing his dad lying in bed, a shell of his former self, but Gage put on a brave face and talked to him for hours anyway, telling him about his work and his fighting.

  Until the stroke, Jed Holland had been a man to be reckoned with. Always a strong Alpha sort, Gage never doubted where he got his dominant tendencies. He had no idea what sort of relationship his mom, Aletha, had with her husband behind closed doors, but he suspected they weren’t strictly a vanilla couple.

  Aletha loved her husband, and she doted on him as much now as she ever had, even though his mobility was compromised. He still got around some, and his mind seemed to be sharp, but his speech was altered, and the left side of his body was uncooperative.

  “I’ll make dinner.”

  “Of course you will, Mom. I wouldn’t even argue.” He smiled. He’d offered to bring takeout many times, but his mom always turned him down. “See you tomorrow.”

  After his mom said good-bye, he hung up and set the phone on his bedside table. He rolled over and hugged his pillow under his head again.

  Sleep was a long time in coming, but he finally slipped into dream land.

  Chapter Seven

  True to his word, Gage gave her time and space. He didn’t pressure her. He was attentive, sending texts and calling nearly every night, but he didn’t come over or suggest going out.