I pack all my things, then sit on the edge of my bed. I want to get out of here with no hassle, no drama, and just storming out with my bag, with all the guys around, isn’t going to accomplish that. Maybe the men will have things going on during the day and I can sneak away. I’m going to have to wait for the perfect moment and then bail. I could always call Eden, who will take a few hours to get here, or Celina, who lives in the city and is someone I know will have my back no matter what. I even search her name in my phone contacts, my index finger lingering over her number. One press, and she will be here, but for some reason I put my phone away.
I guess I just don’t feel like explaining the situation to anyone. I’d rather be alone.
I’ll leave a letter, because I don’t want anyone to worry about me, saying that I’m fine but I’ve decided to go home or something. I absently rub my chest, as it starts to suddenly feel tight, like I can’t breathe. I woke up so happy, and now I just feel so used and manipulated. They will never see me on the same level as them. I’m a pawn. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
Right now though, I’m hurt.
I thought I’d found more family, but all I found are men who lie to me. Who pretend and who manipulate. I’ve been nothing but trusting and naïve, a young country girl with no idea of the world I was entering into. I’m so stupid. I was willing to try to adapt just so I could keep these people in my life, but all the while they were scheming to get what they wanted.
The betrayal cuts so deep that I can almost feel myself bleeding out.
Men like them will do anything to get what they want, even at someone else’s expense. I climb back into bed and get under the covers. I know for this plan to work I need to act like everything is okay, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that. I’m not that good of an actress. All I know is someone tried to kill me, my father is doing anything he can to make me stay, including using my attraction to Ace against me, and as for Ace . . .
That’s just the arrow right through my fucking heart.
“What are you doing?” Ace asks when he finds me sitting on the grass in the same spot I sat with my dad two days ago, looking over the property.
“Enjoying the sunlight,” I tell him, forcing a smile.
“I had a really good time last night,” he says, looking down at the grass. “You surprised me.”
“How?” I ask, honestly curious.
Even though he’s a lying piece of shit.
“I don’t know,” he says, tilting his head to the side and bringing those gray eyes back to me. “You were wilder than I thought you’d be.”
I smirk. “Never underestimate me.”
“Won’t be making that mistake again. So, listen, I was wondering if—”
“Ace!” Rogue calls out to him. “We gotta leave now. There’s a problem that’s come up and we’re being sent to handle it.”
“Fuck, okay,” he calls back, then sends me an apologetic look. “I’ll be back in a bit. Do you want anything while I’m out? Food?”
“No, I’m good,” I tell him, smiling sadly. “I’ll see you.”
He bends and kisses the top of my head. “I’m all yours when I get back.”
He will never be all mine. I doubt he ever wanted to be.
I watch him walk away and get into a car with Rogue.
As soon as he and the other men are out of sight, I head back inside, grab my bag, leave the note, and make my escape. I glance down the hallway, making sure it’s clear before casually walking to the front door and gently closing it shut behind me. As I make my way to the road, I see Veronica. I remember her words and look at her, pleading with my eyes for her not to tell anyone. She gives me a slight nod and turns to go back inside. For the first time, I’m thankful for her. I know she won’t tell my father.
I wait until I’m down a few blocks before I call a cab and ask them to take me to the bus station.
I’m going home.
I’m an hour into my trip when my phone starts ringing, call after call, message after message. I put it on silent and put my earphones in, drowning out reality with music. I’d messaged Eden, asking her if she can come get me when my bus arrives. I didn’t contact my mom, because I know exactly what she will say and it’s not what I want to hear right now. Two hours into the bus ride, I ask myself if I’m overreacting. But then I remember the words I overheard, and how they were discussing me like they both didn’t care what I wanted or what was best for me. They only care about themselves.
The MC is their family, and it doesn’t matter that I’m blood related to one member, I will never be included in that family. They will never respect me how I want to be respected. What an idiot I’ve been. I should have gone for a visit, met Dad, had a good time, and then come back home to my real life. I shouldn’t have gotten lost in that world, and, more than anything, I shouldn’t have gotten lost in Ace. If I’m being honest with myself, because I’ve never felt like I’ve truly fit in, I guess I thought that maybe I’d found my place. The place where I’m meant to be. The missing piece in my life.
How naïve I’ve been.
I don’t feel guilty avoiding my phone, because the letter explains that I’m safe and that I’ve realized how much I need to do before going to college, and I decided to get back to jump-start my real life. I just feel so numb right now. So stupid. I knew that my dad and Ace were both hinting at my staying, but the plan they came up with shows what kind of people they are.
Ed Sheeran gets me through the rest of the bus ride, and when I see my sister waiting for me, I smile. Eden looks nothing like me, and everyone now knows why, but she is absolutely beautiful, with her chocolate-brown hair and matching eyes.
“Hello, baby sister,” I say, giving her a warm hug. “Thanks for coming to get me.”
“Of course,” she replies, smiling. “I’m just happy you’re home. This place has been boring without you.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Do you want to grab a coffee and something to eat? You can tell me everything about your trip.”
“That sounds nice,” I tell her, throwing my bag in the backseat of her car, then jumping into the passenger side. It kind of sucks that my younger sister drives and I don’t, but my fear makes me let go of that fact.
“What have I missed?” I ask her when we’re on the road.
“Not much,” she replies, turning the music down a little. “Mom was all freaking out about you being with your dad, and she and Dad fought about it a fair bit, that’s about it. I’ve been working and trying to save money.”
Eden just finished high school, but instead of going straight to college she’s decided to take a gap year and travel, so she’s been working her ass off doing two part-time jobs and saving everything she earns.
“I didn’t even tell Mom I was coming home,” I admit, expelling a deep sigh. “Did you?”
“No, she’s at work,” she tells me. “You know her, she usually stays back in the classroom and does her grading, or gives a few kids extra help if they need it.”
My mom is a really good teacher. She genuinely cares about the children in her class.
“I can just imagine the grilling I’m going to get,” I grumble, glancing out the window at the familiar surroundings. It feels good to be home, but sad at the same time. It kind of feels like this place is exactly the same, but I’m not. Time with the Ravens changed me. Whether for the good or bad, is to be seen. I left my new riding gear and clothes hanging in the closet in my room. I figure that I’m not going to need them, since I won’t be riding on any motorcycles here.
Eden pulls up to our favorite café, and we occupy our usual table at the back, by the window. “So what’s your dad like?”
“He’s . . .” I trail off, not knowing what to say. If you’d have asked me this question before I overheard that conversation, I’d be raving about him. But now? I don’t even know how to answer. “Not what I expected. He isn’t just a member of the motorcycle club—he is the president. So I st
ayed there and got to know him and his men, and it was nice, but it was time for me to come home.”
I’m not going to tell anyone what happened. And I’m not going to tell anyone about Ace.
Just another secret to add to my collection.
22
I’m glad you’re back home, where you belong,” Mom says, hugging me tightly. I squeeze her back and let myself be vulnerable for a few long moments. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming today? I would have made your favorite meal for you.”
“It’s fine, Mom,” I tell her. “It was kind of a last-minute decision, I wasn’t sure if I was going to come back today or tomorrow,” I lie.
I look behind her and say hello to Brock. I grew up calling him Dad, and it’s the only name I’d known him by. Do I call him Brock now? It’s so awkward, and I’m not sure how to handle the situation. I step to him and give him a warm hug, one that he quickly returns.
“Good to have you home, kiddo,” he murmurs, clearing his throat. “I hope you found what you were looking for.”
Oh, I found something all right.
“Thanks,” I say, smiling at him.
“I may not be your biological father, Erin, but I’ll always be your dad. I was there the day you were born, and I’ll always be there for you, no matter what happens,” he says to me, looking me in the eye.
“Okay,” I say, tears pooling in my eyes. “I think there’s something in my eye.”
“Must be your hay fever acting up,” he says, squeezing my shoulder.
“Yeah, must be. I’m going to have a shower and unpack my things,” I tell them both, walking to my childhood bedroom and dropping onto the floral sheets. I bury my face in my pillow and take a few moments to pull myself together. Then I roll over and check my phone.
Thirty-one missed calls.
Ten new messages.
I skim the messages, most of them are from Ace, but one is from Knuckles, so I read that one first.
Let me know you made it home safely, please. Love you bestie.
I smile sadly down at the screen. Fuck, I’m going to miss Knuckles. I type him a quick message and hit SEND.
I’m home safely, bestie. And I miss you already.
He replies instantly.
Thank fuck. Well if you miss me too much, you know where to find me.
He doesn’t question me, and I appreciate it. The next message I open up is from Ace.
Where are you? Are you okay?
That was the first one, followed by:
I just saw your letter. You left without saying bye? What the fuck, Erin?
I sigh and delete the messages, as well as the other ones from him without bothering to read them. I don’t delete my dad’s, but I’m not ready to read his, either. I know Knuckles will pass that message on that I’m fine. I don’t want them to worry about me; it’s not attention I’m after. I just need to figure out how I’m supposed to process all of this. I was thrown into a new world, then thrown back, and I don’t know where I want to be.
I was falling in love with Ace. I’m so stupid.
There’s no doubt about it, and now I need to try to stop those feelings. I need to forget about him, and I know how hard that’s going to be. I wish I’d never met him, I wish I never knew men like that existed, and I’d never known that kind of instant attraction and connection with a man. Maybe I’ll never know it again. But just because I feel that way doesn’t mean I can try to justify what I heard. Did he even like me?
I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that this has happened. I’ve never felt anything before like I did with Ace, and the whole thing was a joke to him. Maybe all he did see me as was a young, trusting, and naïve girl whom he could use, probably because he could tell just how much I liked him. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to sleep with me. Maybe he was just following orders. What word did Dad use? Oh yes, tactic. I know he liked me to some extent, I do. You can’t fake some of the feelings and emotions between us, but I shouldn’t have to question that.
They speak of loyalty above all else, well, where was their loyalty to me? They call me the princess of the Cursed Ravens MC, but they treated me like a puppet. It’s like there is no one out there I can truly trust and know that they have my best interests at heart. Everyone is just out for themselves.
Clint cheated after my accident, when I needed him the most.
My mom kept me away from my biological father, and then lied to me about who my real father was.
Dad used my feelings for Ace to get what he wanted, which was for me to stay with him.
And Ace . . . Ace used all of this to have his cake and eat it too. He tried to win everything.
Me.
His ranking in the MC.
And my dad’s approval to be with me.
His was the worst betrayal of all. He played with my emotions and now I’ll never know if it was real.
It’s time for me to look forward, focus on college, and reach my own personal goals.
No more Ravens.
When I hear the rumble of motorcycles, I tell myself I must be imagining it. I look at the time on my phone, 9:00 a.m. I close my eyes and pull the covers over my face, but then I hear it again, louder this time, closer. I get out of bed, sliding my feet into pink unicorn slippers before opening my blinds and looking outside.
There are three men on motorcycles in the front of my house.
What the fuck?
Ace, Knuckles, and the president himself.
Did they bring Knuckles to soften me up?
I quickly brush my teeth and try to tame my hair before stepping outside my room, and coming face-to-face with my mother.
Shit.
“What are they doing here?” she whisper-yells, her wild hair making her look like a crazy woman.
“I don’t know,” I reply, becoming frantic. “I have no idea, Mom, but I’m going to go out there and find out.”
“What am I meant to do? Just stay in here?” she asks, scowling.
“Unless you want to come out in your pajamas to see the man you conceived me with,” I reply, walking toward the door. I really don’t want her out here, because I don’t want her to hear the fight that’s about to ensue. Although, knowing my luck, she’ll be able to hear my raised voice from inside the house anyway.
“Erin,” she chastises, muttering something under her breath.
I flash her a cheeky smile and open the front door, the cold morning chill hitting me with full force. Closing the door behind me, I walk up to the men, my eyes on Ace, who has gotten off his bike and is standing on my driveway, patiently waiting, while the other two men are doing the same.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him, wrapping my arms around myself. “How do you even know where I live?”
“You can’t just leave like that without thinking we wouldn’t want to know why,” he tells me, his eyes cold and hard. Yeah, he’s pissed, but you know what? So am I.
“Pretty sure I can do what I like,” I reply, lifting my chin. “I wanted to go home, so I did. You all knew I was going to go back any day anyway, so I don’t see what the big deal is.”
Knuckles and Dad walk up and stand on either side of Ace.
“You left without saying good-bye,” Dad murmurs, a confused and sad look on his face. “I don’t get it, what happened that made you leave like that?”
I look between him and Ace, emotions filling me, and then I turn to Knuckles, the safest one out of all of them. He flashes me a small smile, a look of comfort, and I appreciate it.
“I heard your conversation,” I tell them all, looking them in the eye. “I heard how you,” I say to my dad, “told Ace to do whatever he needs to do to make me stay. I can’t believe how much I trusted both of you, and let you in, and then to hear that . . . I’m not some puppet you can both try to control. And to be honest, I don’t want to see either of you any time in the near future.” I turn to Knuckles and ask him, “Did you know about this?”
He stays silent a moment too l
ong, giving me the answer.
“Well, some bestie you are. You preach about loyalty, but you gave me none. So much for being a part of the family, huh?”
“Erin, wait, I know it sounds bad, but—”
I cut my father off. He’s the last person I want to talk to right now. “You told your men to stay away from me because you didn’t want me to be a part of your lifestyle, and now you have that. It doesn’t matter that later you came up with some plan to use the feelings I had for Ace against me just to get what you wanted. And don’t get me started on the fact that you all but bribed him to move up the ranks in the club if he did what you asked, which was nothing short of breaking my fucking heart.”
“Erin, don’t do this,” Dad says to me, reaching his hand out and then withdrawing it. “At least let’s sit down and have a proper discussion. It’s not what you think. I’ve fucked up, okay, but—”
“There are no buts.”
At least not this time.
His jaw is tight, and his expression is full of frustration. What can he say though? He’s been caught out in his lies, and yes, I know he loves me. I mean, look at what he was doing just to get me to stay with him longer, but fuck, it’s not about him. He can’t make decisions for me, especially the way he tried to go about it.
And as for Ace. I guess he really will do whatever his president wants, including fucking his daughter.
“Wait,” Ace murmurs, shaking his head. “Let me explain, Erin.”
“What is there to explain?” I say, scoffing. I look down at my slippers and continue, “You guys wasted the trip. As you can see, I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me, and I sure as hell won’t be worrying about you.”
I turn and walk back up my driveway, but Ace stops me by grabbing my wrist and spinning me around. “I wanted you from the first second I saw you, but I knew you were off-limits. So after you were poisoned, when Prez saw that we liked each other, yes, he changed his mind and gave me the green light, and yes, that’s because he wanted you to stay, because he loves you. But can you really blame me for taking the only option I had to be able to be with you without betraying my MC and my family? Everything we have is real, princess.”
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