On Paper Wings

by Magan Vernon

  “Ugh!” I stood up, stomping my foot in the dirt. “I don’t want Bubba Sinclair to touch my car! His daughter is probably the one that kicked it in!”

  Blaine stood up, his blue eyes wide as he held his hands up. “Whoa, Libby, those are some harsh words. You can’t prove she did anything. I’m sure Nikki has more respect for both of us than to do that.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Are you serious? This is the girl that threatened me in Bio, the same girl who showed up at the bonfire half dressed. Unless of course it is one of your many other flings that is coming after me. Maybe the barbeque girl found my car.”

  “Libby, come on.” He took a few steps toward me, putting his hands on my elbows. “My sweet petite. I think you are overreacting about a little door ding.”

  I pushed his hands away. “It’s not just the door ding, Blaine! It’s everything!” The words poured out of me like a flowing stream that I couldn’t dam up. “I came over here to see if you could do anything about it, not have you throw one of your ex-fuck buddies in my face again. I don’t care if her dad works on cars! I don’t want her, or any member of her family touching mine!”

  He blinked. “Ouch, that was harsh for no damn reason.”

  I shook my head, biting down hard on my bottom lip to try and regain some control before I spoke again. “I can’t handle this, Blaine. I can’t handle girls coming around and threatening me, or worrying what’s going to happen to my car or even just me if they were to find me in some dark part of the woods.”

  Blaine shook his head. “Baby, this is ridiculous. If you want, I’ll talk to Nikki and any other girl. I swear, most of them are all bark and no bite. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “You say that, but I haven’t seen it. It’s like everywhere I go, I’m reminded of your past. That you were with all of these other girls before me, and maybe they’re better for you than I could ever be. They probably wouldn’t show up with car problems, or force you to say that you love them.”

  Blaine tilted his head, taking another step closer. He reached out to put his hands on my arms, but I backed away. “Baby, what are you talking about? I thought we were over that. You know I love you. Hell, I was the one that wanted you to come back with me. You didn’t force me into anything. I want you here with me.”

  I slowly went around the back of my car until I was at the driver’s side door. “You say that, but some days I’m not so sure if that’s what you really want.”

  He scrambled over to the driver’s side, stopping my door as I opened it. “What are you saying, baby? Are you breaking up with me over a door dent?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’m saying right now. This is all just fucked up, and I need some time to think.”

  I tugged the door away from him and got in the car, shutting it behind me. He tried to yell for me to stop, but I didn’t look at him as I started the car and backed down his driveway. I didn’t cry the entire way home. I didn’t let anything go as I walked through the front door. I waited until I could get to the bathroom. There, I shoved my fingers down my throat, needing to escape. Needing to get the taste of bitterness out of my mouth.

  That was when the tears came.

  Chapter 7

  I spent the rest of the evening in bed feeling sorry for myself. Blaine came by, and I heard Aunt Dee tell him that I was sick, and he left. That was fine with me. I didn’t want to see him. Maybe I was overreacting, and maybe I wasn’t. My head was a big jumbled mess, and I felt like I didn’t have control over anything.

  I didn’t have class the next day, but I was still up early for work. Aunt Dee was in the kitchen pouring grease in a pan for gravy. “Morning, Libby. Breakfast is almost ready.”

  “I’m fine. I’ll just have coffee.”

  “Honey¸ you need to eat something. You’re becoming skin and bones.”

  “I’m fine. I’m really not hungry.” I grabbed one of the ancient mugs from the cabinet and poured some dark coffee from the percolator on the counter. When I first moved to Aunt Dee’s, I had no idea what the ancient coffee pot even was, let alone how to work it.

  Aunt Dee stopped stirring her gravy mixture and looked up at me, a tinge of sadness in her eyes. “Joni used to tell me the same thing when she was getting ready for one of her cheerleading competitions.”

  “Aunt Dee, it’s not like that. I’m just not hungry,” I lied. My stomach was rumbling. I was in a constant state of hunger. Food had become my enemy.

  She shook her head, letting out a deep sigh. “I’ve watched you grow so much these past few months. Grow more than I ever thought possible. But I’ve also seen you on your worst days and how you can get so high, then fall so quickly. I hate seeing it. I only want the best for you. You can’t fly when your wings aren’t sturdy enough to carry you.”

  I hated to see the look in her eyes, the same one my parents had when they saw my report card: disappointment.

  So instead of looking at her, I avoided it.

  “I’ve got to get going, Aunt Dee. I told Dina I’d help her with some inventory stuff. I’ll see you later.”

  I didn’t look back, or wait for her response, as I grabbed my purse and hurried out the door to my car.

  ***

  I tried to think about something, anything else but what Aunt Dee said about my wings not being sturdy enough to carry me. I didn’t know what kind of southern saying it was or whatever, but it had been running through my head all morning.

  “Another fight with Blaine?” Dina asked, knocking me out of my thoughts.

  “No.” I shook my head and turned away from the stack of old magazines I was sifting through.

  Dina rolled her eyes, putting a hand on her hip. “Oh, please! Don’t try and pull the wool over my eyes! The boy was over last night moping around like he got his period or something. I knew it had to do with you.”

  “Ugh. Fine. We did get in another fight. It’s stupid, I know.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

  She shook her head. “It’s not stupid, honey. I mean, the fight was probably over something stupid, but it all leads to a bigger problem. Over the summer, it was his commitment issues, and I have a feeling all these little tiffs y’all are having are coming back to Nikki Sinclair.”

  I sighed. “Yes. Yes it is. Grrrr, why did that girl have to come back in the picture? I thought all this fighting would be over, and now it’s all about this little...” I balled my hands into fists, clenching my jaw and tried to think of the right word for her. Maybe bitch was too harsh, but that’s how I felt about her. Or maybe it wasn’t. The girl confronted me on the first day of school like some psycho shemale and now wouldn’t leave me alone.

  Dina put her hands up, palms out. “Slow down, little missy.”

  “What?” I tilted my head.

  “Look, I understand all of your frustrations. I really do, but I think you and Blaine need to talk all of this out instead of having the same argument over and over again. It’s wearing you down girl, and you need to stop letting it.”

  I wanted to be mad and find something witty to say back, but for once I literally had no words. If I did, they would have been stopped by the bell ringing over the door, alerting us that we had a customer.

  Dina turned toward the door. “Good afternoon, sir, how can I help you?”

  She went to help the guy, who of course wanted to look at the guns behind the counter. That left me back to being alone with my thoughts, which was never a good thing.

  By lunchtime I knew I needed a distraction. Something, anything else to think about. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of anything to do in Elsbury, except drive down back-country roads. Maybe I’d get enough other little dents that no one would notice the big dent in my door.

  I stepped out of the back door of the shop and into the parking lot. Even though it was October, there was still a hot mugginess that never seemed to leave Louisiana.

  I just wanted to get in my car and crank the air, but I came to a dead stop when I saw
Blaine leaning against my car. His eyes lit up as soon as he saw me.

  “Hey, I wasn’t sure you were ever going to come out,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair.

  “Well, I was working,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest as I stopped a few feet in front of him.

  “Yeah. I know.” He took a few steps toward me, closing the distance between us. Slowly his eyes met mine, and I swallowed hard, reeling in the sadness in them. He didn’t even have to say anything; his eyes said it all.

  “And talking to Dina, who basically said I was being a brat about the whole situation, and I kind of have to agree with her,” I blurted before I could take back the words.

  “Why don’t we go for a drive and talk? There’s a lot I’ve got to say, and it’s hotter than hell out here.”

  I laughed. “Well, it is the south.”

  “Yeah, and I’m surprised your pretty little northern ass hasn’t melted yet.”

  I shook my head, trying to keep the smile off my lips as I unlocked my car. “I’m practically a southern belle now.”

  Blaine put his hand out, stopping me before I could get in the car. “And since you’re a belle, you won’t mind me driving.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “You can’t be serious.”

  He took my keys, the smile broadening on his face. “Serious as sin, sweet petite.”

  “Then are you going to open the door for me, since you’re doing the gentlemanly thing?”

  He opened the driver’s door and slid in, before reaching over the seat and opening the passenger door from the inside.

  “That doesn’t count!” I yelled and went around the passenger side, sliding in.

  He started up the car. “It does, if I wanted to make sure you didn’t pull a fast one on me and try to get in the driver’s seat.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”

  He took off down the main drag. “So...I thought I had this whole spiel of what I wanted to say, but now I don’t even know where to begin.”

  I sighed, staring down at my fingernails. “Maybe I should go first, since I’ve been the one who’s been a bitch lately.”

  “Naw, I wouldn’t go that far.”

  “I guess this whole Nikki thing has gotten far too into my head, and it’s clouding my judgment. I should trust you enough to know that you’re committed to me and stop having the same stupid argument over and over again.”

  I looked over, but he didn’t glance in my direction. He just nodded slowly. “Yeah, but I should cut you some slack, too. It doesn’t help that I’ve spent all my time defending Nikki, instead of listening to you. I’ve been a first rate asshole with the whole attentiveness thing.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far either.”

  He slid his hand across the center council and took mine, lacing our fingers together. “Look, Lib, we fight, we kiss, we make up. It’s the same thing over and over again, and I don’t want to fight. When we’re good, we’re really good, and when we’re bad, it’s really bad. Two people that have that much passion must be doing something awfully right.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Did you just quote part of a country song to me?”

  He laughed. “Only parts of it, but it’s all true, baby. I don’t want to lose anything that you and I have, and I promise I’ll stop being such a hard ass and actually listen to you.”

  “And I promise that I won’t give you so much shit about other girls and listen to you as well.”

  He squeezed my hand before turning down Old Parrish road. “And I hope you’ll trust me enough with your car.”

  “My car? Where are you taking it?”

  He winced. “Well, I thought maybe we could at least have Bubba look at it and see what he could do about the door. Maybe give you a deal.”

  I turned so I could fully face him. “You can’t be serious. You want me to go see Nikki’s dad after that big argument about it?”

  “Baby, I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t think he could fix your car and give you a deal that wouldn’t cost you an arm and a leg at the dealership.”

  I shook my head slowly. “I seriously can’t believe that you’re doing this.”

  “Just trust me, baby. Trust me.”

  He took a sharp turn down a gravel road that was lined with pine trees. I didn’t think there was actually any civilization out there until I saw a rusted metal sign with the word “Bubba’s” scrawled across it in what looked like permanent marker.

  The gravel road widened to an even larger gravel area with a few dozen cars lined up to one side, all in various stages of repair. A large man in a pair of overalls and a red ‘Mac’ trucker hat sat on a rocking chair in front of a rusted metal garage. His eyes followed the car like a hawk, until we parked in front of the small white trailer next to the garage.

  Blaine turned off the car and hopped out before I could say anything. “Hey, Bubs.”

  The man slowly stood up, a large smile crossing his face. “Well, lookie here! Crabtree traded in his truck for a little sports car. Damn boy, if I’da known they were payin’ that much with the city, I woulda got on there a long time ago.”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s actually my girlfriend’s car.”

  Slowly I opened the door and got out, figuring that was my cue.

  Bubba’s eyes trailed over me, a little too long for my liking. “Didn’t know you had a new gal.”

  Blaine closed the driver door, then walked around to the passenger door, putting his arm around me. “Yeah, we’ve been together awhile now. She just gets embarrassed to be around a good ol’ boy like me sometimes.”

  God this was freaking awkward.

  “Hi, I’m Libby Gentry.” I stepped forward and put my hand out, doing anything to break up more of the embarrassment that Blaine was serving up.

  Bubba’s eyes fell to Blaine, before he put his pudgy hand out, shaking mine. “How do ya do, Miss Libby?” His eyes focused on me, quirking a bushy brow as if he was trying to figure me out, or at least figure out what the hell Blaine was doing with me, since Nikki had also been with him.

  “I’m fine. Well, okay. Blaine told me that you should be able to fix my car, so that would make me a lot better.” I let out a nervous laugh, trying to break up the tension.

  He ran his hand over the stubble on his chin. “Well, I don’t usually work on these here sportier cars, but I can take a look.”

  “It’s just a little dent in my door...” That I’m pretty sure your daughter put there.

  He walked around to the side of the car and crouched down, running his thumb over the dent. “It’s a ding all right. Take a little bondo to it, sand it down, paint it. Should be good as new.”

  “Really? You can do that?” I asked, unsure if I should really trust the guy.

  He stood up. “Yeah. Not today cuz I’m fixin’ to do a paint job on ol’ Miss Gandy’s Buick, but if you and Blaine can run it by tomorrow I should have it done by the end of the day. And no charge.”

  I widened my eyes. “Oh, no, sir you don’t need to do that! I can definitely pay.”

  He shook his head, smiling. “Girl, for all Blaine’s done for me, there’s no way I could make his lady pay.” He took a few steps toward me. “Besides, not every day I get my hand on a little sports car like this. It’s going to be more fun than anything.”

  I nodded, and Blaine squeezed me tight. “Okay, sir, you have yourself a deal then.”

  He laughed, a deep belly laugh. “Now if you keep up with that sir shit, then I’m charging you double.”

  I laughed nervously. “Okay.”

  I let out a deep breath. It had been a weird turn of events, but at least my car was getting fixed, and Blaine and I had made up, hopefully for good. Or, at least for a while.

  Chapter 8

  In addition to finding Britt a date, there was also the whole buying a dress thing that seemed to be even harder than finding a date.

  Every girl had to wear a white dress, and even though cotillion was big in the south, it seeme
d like every dress out there that was white was either for a stripper or a poufy wedding dress. It also didn’t help that Britt was plus-size; that left even less of a selection.

  Aunt Dee thought a trip into New Orleans would be a nice bonding experience, and that they’d have a better selection, but after three shops, I was starting to think the trip was hopeless.

  “Let’s try one more store. Come on, girls. You never know when you’ll find a diamond in the rough!” Aunt Dee pumped her arm, trying to keep us in the spirit.

  “I guess,” Britt grumbled.

  The last boutique we left was off Magazine Street and had gorgeous dresses, but of course none of them went up past a size ten. There were days that I barely fit in a size ten with my hips, and there was no way Britt was getting into any of their dresses. Not only were half of them too slinky with cut outs all over, but the other half were so small that I don’t think my arm would have fit into them.

  There was no exact rules on the white dresses for cotillion. They just had to be white, and preferably, ball gowns. I thought it sounded more like something a fairy princess would wear and not a southern debutante, but I guess that was tradition. Aunt Dee said when she made her debut that every girl had to wear the same dress, which at first sounded horrible to me, but it might not have been a bad idea, if everyone had to wear the same thing, no judgment if someone had a prettier dress than the person next to them, or how much their parents spent or didn’t spend on the roll of fabric.

  That wasn’t the case this year.

  “Where did Sarah get her dress, Brittany? We could always try there,” Aunt Dee asked.

  Britt shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Well, you must have seen her dress. Is it nice? Or do you just not want to go to the same place, and get the same dress as your best friend?” Aunt Dee kept pushing and I held my breath, waiting for Britt to explode.