Helifted both eyebrows but didn’t look away from his book. Other than setting the sheets on fire in every position imaginable, there hadn’t been much “we” recently. There was October and what he wanted, while Raith just did his best to stay out of the way. He wasn’t necessarily bitter, but he’d imagined something much different when he’d agreed to leave everything behind for his mate.
“What problem would that be?” he asked in a monotone as he turned the brittle page in his aging book.
October’s fingers tightened around his knee. “Can you please look at me?”
His chest rose and fell with his tired sigh. Marking his place, he closed the book and set it aside on the end table. Then he folded his arms over his chest and rolled his head to the side to look at his mate. “Yes?”
“Are you happy here?”
Raith snorted and stretched his legs out, crossing one ankle over the other. “That’s the big problem?”
“It is to me.” October spoke calmly, but his eyes were a little too round for the casual response. His fingertips continued to bite into Raith’s knee, his shoulders rounded, curving his spine, and there was a slight tremble to his left leg where it rested against Raith’s thigh.
He was no stranger to conflict, and honestly, he liked a good debate every once in a while. With October, it was different. It made his chest tight and his gut churn when he thought of the man being unhappy, especially if he was the cause of that distress.
It wouldn’t do either of them any good for him to lie, though. How would things ever get better if he kept quiet and pretended that everything was rainbows and butterflies? “The short answer to that is no. I’m not happy here.”
October nodded slowly, his eyes darting toward the window, a nearby bookshelf, the coffee table, and basically anywhere but at Raith. “How do we fix that?”
His muscles finally relaxed, and Raith uncrossed his arms, taking October’s hand in both of his own. It always amazed him when he caught these little glimpses of his mate that proved the guy wasn’t nearly as impervious as he pretended to be. Those little tells had a way of reminding Raith that October was a real man, with real concerns, fears, doubts, and other emotions that weren’t defined by his title.
“I’m not a child, Tober. I don’t need Enforcers standing outside of every door.” That was only at the top of his list of things that needed to change, but they could start slow as long as his lover was willing to compromise.
“It’s for your safety,” October argued with a hard set to his jaw.
Raith sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Only when he thought he could speak without raising his voice or getting angry did he finally respond. “I understand that, and I appreciate that you care enough to want to protect me. When we’re away from Snake River, or even when we’re out of the house, I can accept the need for that protection. What is possibly going to happen to me inside this museum, though?”
October’s eyebrows drew together, and he gave a minute tilt of his head. His lips pursed as his gaze took on a faraway look, and his thumb caressed the side of Raith’s hand in a distracted manner. The expression lasted for several seconds before his eyes finally focused, and he gave a brief dip of his head.
“I can live with that as long as you agree to the guards when you’re out of the house.”
Now they were getting somewhere. “Deal.”
“What else, draga?” The pad of his thumb began to move in more purposeful strokes as he inched a little closer. “I rarely see you since you came here, and when I do, you always look like you’d rather be anywhere else. Do you regret it?”
This was the exact reason Raith had never actively sought out a mate or even a long-term relationship. Nothing was ever black and white. There were so many gray areas, and it complicated the hell out of things.
“I don’t regret coming here,” he answered slowly while he thought through how to verbalize what was running through his head without sounding like a sulking child. “All my life, I’ve had a purpose. I’ve known exactly what is expected of me, exactly what I’m doing, and I’ve never had to answer to anyone.”
“I don’t understand.”
That made sense, because Raith was doing a piss-poor job of explaining. “I was an Enforcer in Haven.”
“You’re still an Enforcer,” October said, interrupting him.
Raith snorted without any humor. “I sit in the library or walk the grounds. There is always someone watching me. I have no idea how to be a consort or how I should act in front of people. No one needs interrogating. There aren’t any raids or rescue missions.”
His voice was rising, and he couldn’t slow his racing pulse. The pressure built, constricting his chest and making it harder to breathe. All the things he’d kept bottled inside for the past three days came bubbling to the surface, spewing from his lips without any sort of filter.
“I get that you have a job to do, but what about me?” Well, that sounded high maintenance as hell.“I don’t mean that I need you to shower me with attention or be at my beck and call at all hours of the night.” That would get annoying faster than he could blink. “What is my purpose here? Sitting around watching sitcoms, reading, and eating bonbons isn’t going to cut it.”
Releasing October’s hands, he jumped up from the cushions and began pacing in jerky, stilted strides as he laced both hands through his hair and tugged. The worst part of it was that he didn’t even know what he was getting so worked up over. Nevertheless, he still couldn’t control the restlessness that vibrated through him like an electrical current.
The faster he paced, the harder his heart pounded, until he felt sure it would burst right through his ribcage. The muscles in the back of his neck tensed and knotted, his temples began to throb, and his vision became blurry around the edges. His skin felt too tight, and it tingled as though a thousand tiny ants marched up and down his torso.
A ringing began in his ears, growing louder and higher pitched like a long, continuous beep. He still had enough presence of mind to realize he was acting like a complete psycho, but there was no way to stop it. The harder he tried, the more labored his breathing became. The more effort he put forth to calm his erratic behavior, the colder he felt until his teeth actually clacked together.
The lights in the room began to blink, slowly at first, but then faster and faster like the flickering of a flame, only more intense. The atmosphere in the room crackled with the charge of electricity, and with a dawning sense of horror, Raith realized it was all coming from him. Whatever was going on around him, he was making it happen.
Magic was so much a part of him—like an extra appendage—that he had to really try to fuck it up. Right then, he wasn’t attempting to do anything good, bad, or indifferent, however. Jerking his head toward his mate, he dreaded October’s reaction, worried if he’d see fear in the man’s face.
October didn’t appear phased at all. Staring up at Raith with a casual, almost bored expression, he rose easily from the sofa and linked his hands together in front of him. Those bright green eyes drilled into Raith, burrowing inside him as though the vampire could see right down to his dark and decaying soul.
After what felt like an improbably long time, October finally strolled across the hardwood floor to where Raith was freaking out, gripped his face firmly in both hands, and jerked him into an allconsuming kiss. Their lips and tongue moved together in a brief, erotic duel before October pulled away to look into his eyes again.
“Fight it, draga. The darkness can only own you if you let it.” His lover inhaled deeply and released the breath slowly, obviously wanting Raith to mimic him.
He didn’t know how long they stood in the middle of the library, just staring at each other and breathing, but eventually, the warmth returned, the pain dissipated, and everything returned to normal. “I’m sorry, Tober.” He didn’t use the S word often, but he felt obligated to offer some kind of amends after acting like a complete asshat.
“Better?” Oct
ober asked instead of acknowledging his apology.
“Much.”
A soft, caring smile tilted one corner of his mouth, and October leaned up to press their lips together again. “I promised that I wouldn’t let you fall, remember? We’ll figure this out together.” His hands rubbed up and down Raith’s arms, warming him further. “Now, before you completely lost it, I think you had some valid arguments.”
“I don’t even remember them.” He had whole new arguments, but what he’d said before the lights started flickering was vague at best.
“I never do anything half-ass, Raith, and you’re too important for me to take a chance with. The guards will back off while you’re within the estate, but outside of these gates, all bets are off. There are too many people who would try to hurt me by hurting you, and I won’t let that happen.”
“Right, I remember agreeing to that.”
“Secondly, you’re still an Enforcer. Just because you’ve relocated doesn’t change that. I’ll admit that I might have gone a little overboard on the precautions for your safety. I tend to be somewhat overbearing at times. You can ask any of the staffif you don’t believe me.”
October winked, and Raith found himself chuckling. “Overbearing” was actually a nice way of phrasing it, but he wouldn’t point that out when they were finally beginning to settle some things. “I need something to do. I don’t care what it is, but I can’t just sit here all day. This isn’t me, and it’s making me crazy.”
“It’s a little more difficult to be an Enforcer and a consort, but not impossible. There are plenty of things you can do within Snake River, although, I’m afraid I can’t send you out on assignments.” October stepped a little closer and moved his hands down to rest lightly on Raith’s hips. “It’s not that I doubt your capabilities, but as I said before, it’s a whole new ballgame now. It’s not just fighting the bad guys. People will be actively pursuing you.”
“I get it.” Surprisingly, he did. Someone didn’t become as powerful as October without making a few enemies along the way. “I’m cool with that, though if my brothers need my help, I’m returning to Casper or Haven, wherever I’m needed.” They still had big problems with rogue witches, and the situationwasn’t going to resolve itself.
“Understandably, and I won’t stop you. Guards will go with you if I can’t, however.”
Raith sighed, but if October was willing to compromise, he supposed he could as well. “Okay, I can live with that. So give me a job. I’m about to climb the fucking walls.”
“That’s actually one of the reasons I was looking for you.” October laughed quietly and shook his head. “The holding cells are overflowing in Haven, as well as the Council cells in Casper,so I’ve agreed to detain some of the prisoners here. One is a vampire hybrid by the name of Phillip McCarthy. Do you know him?”
“Not personally, but I know his brother. I mean, I’ve seen him. I’ve questioned him. We’re not exactly best pals, though.”
“Good,” October replied with an undertone of relief. “Leader McCarthy and his mate, Enforcer Tracer, will be here tomorrow night. As I understand it, Leader McCarthy has magic, but it’s not particularly strong. I was hoping you could help.”
Eager to be doing anything other than sitting around, Raith nodded firmly. “What do you need me to do?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. There is no way The Council is going to allow Phillip to walk free. I gather he has information that they need, which is why he’s been held for so long.”
“I’ve already tried, Tober.” He’d interrogated Phillip. Several vampire Enforcers had interrogated him. Nothing was working, and they were no closer to prying the secrets from the bastard. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to try again. “I’ll give it a shot.”
“Thank you, draga.” October squeezed his waist gently. “There are also a couple of witches who were transferred here, and I believe three eagleshifters.” A hard edge entered his voice when he mentioned the shifters who’d drugged Raith and held him captive. Somehow, Raith had a feeling his dear mate had requested that particular transfer.
“So you want me to try and magic answers out of all of them?” He had yet to face the shifters or the witches, but he looked forward to a challenge. If there was one thing he hated, it was unfinished business. “When do we get started?” He even cracked his knuckles for dramatic effect.
“One issue at a time,” October reminded him. “We need to wait for Leader McCarthy to arrive.”
“Good idea.” He was pretty sure Phillip knew where his brother, Mikko, was. If the bastard had hurt him in anyway, death would be too good for him as far as Raith was concerned. “I’m tired.”
“The sun will be up soon,” October confirmed as he rubbed his cheek against the side of Raith’s neck. “Come to bed with me.”
Exhausted from whatever freaky magic had erupted from him earlier, Raith couldn’t think of a single argument against it. Plus, right at that moment, he couldn’t think of any place he’d rather be than wrapped around his lover, even if it was just to sleep. While eager to get started in his new duties, all those problems would still be there when he woke up. Surprisingly, all the good things in his life would be there, too.
His mind was ready for bed, but his stomach protested with a loud, angry growl. Rubbing at his midsection, he pecked at October’s forehead and stepped away with a smile. “I know the way. Let me grab something to eat, and I’ll meet you in a few.”
October wiggled his eyebrows and began unbuttoning his shirt as he backed toward the exit. “Don’t take too long.”
By the time he reached the door, he’d managed to undo every button, revealing his smooth, naked torso. Lunging forward, Raith grabbed him around the waist, hauled him over one shoulder, and darted down the hallway toward their bedroom. Sometimes, there were just more important things than food.
Chapter Five
“You are rash, impulsive, and stubborn to a fault, not to mention utterly naïve. The gods gave you a brain, did they not? Use it, October.”
“Perhaps I am those things,” he answered his lover. “Th is is unavoidable, however. Pack laws are not to be trifled with, Rastas. The alpha says I have to make an appearance at the gathering tonight, and so I will go. I wish you could understand.”
“Fine,” Rastas shot back at him. “Then I will accompany you.” “No.”
He hated lying to his mate. He hated sneaky around to do the
alpha’s bidding. As a werewolf hybrid, he was bound by pack law. Unfortunately, since his veins also ran with the contaminated blood of a vampire as well, he was the lowest ranking member of the pack. When his alpha said jump, he did it twice for good measure. The consequences for disobeying were harsh and unmerciful.
“As you wish.” Rastas’s acceptance was too quick and too easy. His blue eyes flashed with determination, and his full lips pressed into a thin line that never meant anything good. “The moon is cresting. You should hurry.”
“Don’t follow me, Rastas. I mean it.”
“I understand.”
Again, the acquiescence came too easily, but October didn’t have
time to debate it any longer. It was more than a mile to the pack lands, and he was already running behind schedule. Tardiness was not tolerated, along with an extensive list of other things the alpha abhorred.
He wouldn’t always be the pack bitch, though. One day, he’d be strong, powerful, and respected by everyone. One day, he’d lead his own pack. A pack so large and feared that no one would dare to challenge him.
“We’ll talk more when I return.”
Rastas stared back at him in the flickering candlelight and dipped his head once. “Journey safely.”
* * * * Shaking himself out of the memory, October turned away from his office window and settled into the chair behind his desk. There were a lot of things that had happened over the last millennia, some good, some bad, and most he could recall with surprising clarity. The memory of that last night with Rastas was the only
one that constantly haunted his dreams, though.
Since Raith had come into his life, those last minutes with his former mate had been playing on an almost constant loop. He dreamed of the conversation each time he fell asleep, and now he even found the recollection interrupting his thoughts in his waking hours.
Yes, he missed Rastas, had missed him every day for nearly four hundred years. Perhaps if he’d been honest and upfront, he never would have lost the man. If he’d come clean about his dealings with the alpha at the time, maybe Rastas wouldn’t have felt the need to follow him that night.
It was partly pride that had urged him to keep the secret. Never had he wanted Rastas to find out the kind of things he was forced to do or the man he’d allowed himself to become. Mostly, he had just wanted to protect his lover from the cruelty and maliciousness of the pack alpha. Obviously, he hadn’t done a very good job of it.
Living for four centuries with the regrets of his mistakes had made him overly cautious when it came to relationships. More than once, he’d been told he was too guarded, and he had to agree. He didn’t trust easily, and he was reluctant to open his heart to the possibility of that kind of pain again.
He’d screwed up so many times with Rastas, made all the wrong choices, and it would always be his burden to bear. Unfortunately, he was now making the same missteps with Raith. Or maybe he was making all new blunders, allowing his fear of repeating the past to push him into overbearing, almost tyrannical protectiveness.
A perfunctory knock preceded Raith’s entrance into his office, and the witch gave him a cursory look before jerking a thumb over his shoulder. “Nicholas and Jonas just passed the front gates. Did you want to meet with them or should I just go ahead and get started?”
October looked down at the papers on his desk and rubbed his fingertips across his brow. Just after sunset, he’d received a phone call informing him that his Enforcers had finally located the coven in the mountains who’d been involved in the abduction of Raith’s brother, Thane. The call had also come with the bad news that not all of his men would be coming home alive.
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