by Soraya Lane
She knocked back the rest of her glass, stood and steadied herself, and then headed for the bedrooms. She was barefoot and her feet made the softest padding noise on the timber floor as she walked to his door. She breathed deep and held up her hand. She paused, balling it into a fist, preparing to knock.
Stop.
She hesitated, her hand hovering. If she did this, there was no going back. There was no acting professional and maintaining the high road. Her head spun and she knew she’d had too much to drink. She’d prided herself her entire career on being professional, on not getting personal with her clients. Tanner was different, but it was still work, and she wondered whether she would regret it?
Lauren leaned against the door, a more-relaxed palm against it now—and her forehead too. She could almost feel him on the other side. Her fingertips ached, knowing that he was in there and how badly she wanted to touch him.
She took a few silent, deep breaths, then quietly pushed back and headed for her room, closing the door behind her and falling onto her bed. It was better this way, and even though it didn’t feel like the right decision now, she knew it would in the morning.
* * *
Tanner listened, ears straining to hear what Lauren was doing. He’d heard her moving, even though she was barefoot, and listened to the light switches being flicked in the living room, then the soft pad of her feet as she walked and then stopped. He’d waited, certain she was going to knock, and when he’d looked down and seen the darkness of a shadow outside his bedroom door, he’d been positive she was about to either knock or push his door open. But she hadn’t done either.
He shifted in his bed, his head too full of thoughts of Lauren to have any chance of sleeping. He was tempted to go to her room, but if she’d wanted him, she’d have damn well knocked, and he wasn’t going to push her.
Instead he reached for his iPhone and decided to do a quick check-in on social media. He never posted anything—the last thing he wanted was the world knowing what he was doing or where he was all the time, but he thought he’d see what the rest of his family was up to. They all loved the side of social media that he hated so vehemently. His dad was the only other family member who wasn’t addicted to Facebook—and that was hardly surprising, considering he was in his late seventies.
A message pinged through from Mia then, asking how the vacation was going. He sent her a quick reply saying everything was great, then noticed a link his brother had shared. Tanner clicked and realized it was a weather warning for the South Pacific. He’d also missed five calls from his brother, one from his other sister, and three from his agent, but he’d chosen to ignore them all. He didn’t want to deal with questions and demands and more questions, but he did appreciate the weather warning.
“Chance of Gnarly Weather Hitting the Islands.” He read the headline twice and groaned. Seriously? Why the hell did he have to be on an island in the middle of goddamn nowhere when the weather turned bad? He scrolled through the rest of the article and saw that this time of year was the rainy season in Fiji, but he wasn’t about to let that ruin his time there. The weather had been picture perfect so far, and he wasn’t about to jinx it by worrying. He wasn’t afraid of a little rain.
He turned his device off and lay down, his head cocooned by a fluffy hotel pillow and his thoughts consumed with the beautiful, leggy brunette lying on her own bed just down the hall. So damn close, but so, so far away.
* * *
Lauren woke early, put her hair in a high ponytail and dressed in her running gear. She doubted Tanner would be up, and when she opened her bedroom door the house was silent. She slipped out and couldn’t believe how warm it was already—the temperature seemed to be balmy no matter what the time of day. Lauren stretched and limbered up, then settled into a slow jog, smiling as she felt the familiar pull of her muscles. Running was her happy place—it made her brain stop and her senses come to life. She set her sights on the mountain in front of her, moving onto the track and staying slow and steady. She could sprint on the way down if she had the energy, but she didn’t know how far it was and she didn’t want to have to walk back down if she’d used up all her energy.
She’d come out without her music, and after admiring the scenery and finding her pace, listening to the familiar thud of her shoes hitting the track, her mind started to wander. Go away, she said, as if she were speaking to someone in her mind. But the little voice in there wasn’t leaving her alone. What about Tanner?
She decided to ignore the voice and her own reasoning and run faster. She pushed harder, trying to block it out, but she couldn’t. Dammit! She’d made the right choice, the only choice she’d had, so why was she living in her past and even thinking What if? What-ifs were dangerous, she knew that, and Tanner seemed happy. They’d both done well, doing what they’d always wanted to do. The only difference was that they hadn’t done it together.
* * *
“I won’t do it,” she said defiantly, standing with her hands on her hips and staring at her mother. “You can’t force me to do it!”
“Lauren, trust me, you have your whole life ahead of you. I remember how appealing the bad boy was. When I was your age I would have felt the same as you do right now, but we know what’s right for you.”
She’d looked pleadingly at her sister, but there was nothing Hannah could do to help her. She’d already tried talking to Mom for her, but now that they’d made their minds up and given her an ultimatum, they weren’t going to back down, no matter what anyone tried to say to get them to change their minds.
“What if I quit then?” she’d asked. “What if I get a job and don’t ever go to college?”
Her mom had smiled. “Sweetheart, you’re a smart girl. You wouldn’t be flipping burgers for long before you’d be begging us to pay for your college tuition.”
She laughed then, shaking her head. “And what if Tanner pays for my college education? What if I don’t even need you to help me?”
Her father had risen from the table then and come to stand at the foot of the stairs. Lauren was standing halfway up, refusing to give in. She was down to her last days now—summer was almost over and she was going to have to break up with Tanner tomorrow or the day after if she was actually going to do it.
“Quit arguing with your mother, Lauren. You can ask him to pay if you like, be my guest—it’ll save me six figures and I’d be eternally grateful—but I think you’ll find it’s his father who’s wealthy, darling, not him. You really think Walter Ford is going to so generously pay for the college education of his son’s teenage girlfriend?”
She refused to back down, kept her face fixed even though she was falling to pieces inside.
“His son is a rebel, and from what I’ve heard his grades are terrible. He might be fun now, but there’s no future in fun.”
“He’s dyslexic, Dad, not dumb!” Lauren could feel her blood boiling but she clamped a hand over her mouth. Why had she said that? Tanner hadn’t wanted anyone else to know.
“Dyslexic or not, he’s a motorcycle-riding, cigarette-smoking, beer-guzzling bad influence on you, and I will not have him sucking away all your potential. A whole new world opens up when you leave high school, and mark my word, a boy like him is not going to be faithful to a sweet girl like you. It’s my job to protect you, and if you want me to invest my hard-earned money into your education, to finish college without debt, then you will do as we’ve asked.”
Lauren’s eyes filled with burning hot tears. There was no way she could ever afford to attend the college she wanted to go to if she had to pay for it herself. And if she did manage to get a loan, she’d spend the rest of her life paying it off. She wanted her own career, to stand on her own two feet. She’d always dreamed of turning her love of sports into a career, and if she couldn’t be a sports doctor or a physical therapist, then what was she going to do?
She loved Tanner fiercely, but she wasn’t about to be his plus-one for the rest of her life. She wanted her own identity, and
if her family would never accept him, then what hope did they have? They might be driving her crazy, but she loved her mom and dad, and their dislike of Tanner had grown rather than faded.
“Lauren?”
“Fine,” she said. “But if I look back when I’m thirty and regret what you made me do, then I know who I have to blame.”
* * *
Lauren ran faster, sprinting up the hill until her calves burned and her throat ached from sucking back so much humid air. When she reached the top she almost doubled over, leaning forward and trying not to be sick. It wasn’t until she finally stood up that she realized what a magic spot she was standing on, with 360-degree views of the islands.
She paced around slowly, needing a moment to catch her breath and let her heart rest to stop it from exploding. The trouble was, it wasn’t the run that her heart was in danger from, it was Tanner. Because she’d never truly gotten over him, no matter how hard she’d tried, and the words she’d so angrily spat at her parents as a teenager, yelling at them from the family staircase, had come true. She did know who to blame for her heartache, for the fact she’d never met another man who’d even come close to Tanner, but now that she was thirty, she could understand why they’d pushed her to end things.
She and Tanner had been consumed by each other, and if they’d stayed together he would have ended up holding her back. Not because he’d have ever intended on doing it, but because they were like that. They were always joined at the hip, so she would never have taken a job that would have meant extended periods of time away from him. And she would definitely have resented being the plus-one in his life rather than growing on her own. The older she got, the more her financial independence meant to her.
And that was assuming they’d stayed together. That Tanner wouldn’t have strayed or wished he’d had the chance to be with other women instead of committing to the girl he’d lost his virginity to. And maybe he wouldn’t have been so fearless in the ring. Or maybe she would have tried to stop him from doing something so dangerous.
There were so many what-ifs, it made her head spin.
Lauren turned around and admired the view one last time before heading back down Mount Vomo. In the end, it didn’t matter. Shit happened, and her life had been good. She had an amazing career, a home she was proud of, and her family was her rock. She’d long ago forgiven them for their decision about Tanner, but it didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt like hell, because it damn well did.
But now she was at a crossroads. She was running back to the Beach House, headfirst into Tanner, the former love of her life, and the only man she’d ever truly loved. And maybe the only man she ever would.
* * *
“I thought you’d caught the first helicopter out of here.”
Tanner watched as Lauren collapsed onto the sofa. Her face was red, hair that had escaped her ponytail was stuck to her skin, and her eyes were shut the second she hit the cushions.
“Been running,” she said, slightly out of breath.
Tanner picked up the phone and waited until someone answered.
“Room service.”
“Can I have orange juice, fresh fruit, and pancakes for two please?” he asked. “And a couple of strong coffees.”
He waited for the order to be repeated to him, thanked the woman on the other end of the line, and turned his attention back to Lauren.
“How was it?”
“It just about killed me but it was amazing.”
Tanner stretched out, wishing he didn’t feel like an old man and jealous of her workout. He was itching to exercise, to run and sweat and push himself. Instead he was facing a day of painful massage, some light training, and maybe a swim or two. Hardly anything to moan about—he got how lucky he was—but he wasn’t great at doing nothing. After a ride around the ranch back home or a big run or working with cattle all day? Hell yeah, he liked to laze about and do nothing. Trouble was that doing nothing had been his life for the better part of two months now.
“I need to run that mountain,” Tanner said. “I want to run to the top and beat you.”
Lauren groaned and sat up. “You want to race me?”
“Damn straight.”
Her laughter made him scowl. “You don’t think I can beat you?”
“I don’t think you could have beaten me before your accident, let alone now,” she said, her face less flushed and her breathing noticeably less rapid. “But we can definitely start with a slow hike and build up to a jog.”
Tanner didn’t want a slow jog, he wanted a damn-fast, lungs-screaming, arms-pumping kind of sprint.
“I don’t want to take a gentleman’s jog, Lauren. I want to kick your butt.”
This time she didn’t laugh. Maybe she’d seen the determination within him, or maybe she just didn’t want to burst his bubble.
“Okay, well, you’d better behave and do whatever I tell you to do then,” she said. “Call me when breakfast is ready, I’m going for a quick swim.”
Tanner expected her to change into a bikini and dive into the pool, but instead she kicked off her shoes, socks, and running top, and ran barefoot out onto the patio and down to the beach in her teeny running shorts and sports bra. He moved to the big open glass doors to watch her cross the beach and run into the water, diving into the aqua-blue ocean. He was tempted to join her, but he decided to leave her be. They were here for work, not pleasure, and that meant letting her do her own thing.
He watched her a bit longer, squinting to see her in the water, and then there was a knock at the door. Breakfast was served.
The butler laid out their food and drinks at the kitchen table, refusing to let Tanner help, so he grabbed a towel and went out to find Lauren. She was walking up the beach when he made it back outside, and he crossed the deck, opening the towel for her.
She looked radiant—her hair was slicked back off her face, the tie around her wrist and her hair loose down her back. Her skin was still wet, droplets clung to her lashes, and he fought not to look down her body at the sports bra and soaking wet shorts.
“Hungry?”
Lauren grinned. “I could eat a horse.”
Tanner let her go first, and she disappeared for a bit as he sat down. He stretched his leg out, happy that it didn’t hurt quite as bad today. Maybe all the strapping was working, or perhaps she’d been right about the root of the problem being elsewhere in his body. She’d sure worked hard on his hip and upper leg the day before.
When she returned, she was wearing cut-off denim shorts and a T-shirt and he coughed, almost choking on his juice. Well, damn. It was like someone had wound back the clock and sent him straight back to high school.
“Is there a problem?” she asked, sinking into the chair across from him and instantly picking up her fork and stabbing a piece of pineapple.
“Nope, no problem,” he replied, collecting his own fork and starting to eat the fruit platter.
It was filled with sliced banana, melons, pineapple, and strawberries.
“I didn’t pick you for a fruit kind of guy,” she said. “I thought you’d be all about the bacon and eggs, something fried maybe.”
“Something like Mama would make down on the ranch?” he laughed at himself. “In all honesty, I usually do cook my breakfast, but I was trying to impress you. And the fruit is actually damn good.”
“We are what we eat,” she said, devouring her food. “I always eat fruit and muesli, or if I’m in a hurry it’ll be a smoothie on the go, filled with fruit and some protein powder. I can’t exactly talk the talk to the players and not follow through myself.”
He finished most of his fruit and reached for the pancakes. He’d expected maple syrup when he’d made the order, but instead they’d been served with a side of double cream and strawberries. He raised his eyes and smiled at Lauren. “This negates all that healthy fruit, but damn.”
“Hey, I ran to the top of a mountain,” she said, pushing her fruit aside. “I can eat pancakes with not a trace of guilt.�
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“You know, I’m starting to see a pattern with you,” Tanner said, setting his fork down and reaching for the coffee. It had been served in a pot, and he poured Lauren a cup first, then himself. “You set your mind to something; you have a pretty gutsy kind of determination.”
She shrugged, but he could tell that he’d hit the nail on the head.
“I suppose.”
“It’s weird, knowing someone so well for a short period in their life, then realizing you actually know nothing about the person they’ve become.” It was becoming abundantly clear that he didn’t know a lot about Lauren, not about the woman she’d become. “I feel like you’re so familiar to me, but you’re a complete stranger too.”
“Yeah, same here,” she said. “When I look at you, I don’t know, it’s like walking down memory lane, but I don’t know what makes you tick now. I mean, we were kids back then, right?”
Kids who’d loved the hell out of each other, he thought. Not that it mattered now, but when you’d spent most of your adult life with a chip on your shoulder about the girl you loved ditching you? It was hard to shake it off all in one go. He’d never trust her again, not with his heart, but he kind of liked the woman she’d become. Hell, he admired what she’d done. She’d followed her dreams, and she hadn’t stopped until she’d achieved what she’d set out to do.
“Can I ask you something, just for old times’ sake?”
“Shoot,” she said, smiling at him as she ate another big piece of pancake smeared with cream.
“Do you ever think about what would have happened if we’d stayed together? How different our lives might have turned out?”
She laughed. “Well, I sometimes wonder if I would have been barefoot and pregnant with child number four by now, but…”
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s fine. And to be honest”—he watched as she sat back in her chair, abandoning her food—“I actually used to think about it a lot. I’d wonder what you were doing, whether we’d have been able to make the distance work, whether we’d still be together.”