by Soraya Lane
They sat in silence after she said that. It didn’t matter what they thought, what might have happened. They hadn’t stayed together, and that part of their lives was long over.
“Maybe we’d have held each other back,” she said. “I often wonder if I’d have been able to do my job and hold down the kind of relationship we had.”
“You mean the not-being-able-to-keep-our-hands-off-each-other or spend-a-night-apart aspects?”
The color in her face told him she remembered their time together exactly as he did. He would never forget the intensity of what they’d shared—they’d had their share of fights, often fueled by jealousy or stupid teenage insecurities—but whenever they were together it was incredible. Every touch, every whisper, everything about them being connected had sent him wild. The thought of being alone with Lauren was enough to fill him with as much anticipation and adrenaline as riding a bull in the ring.
Tanner reached his hand across the table, wanting to touch her but not convinced it was the right thing to do. No wonder he’d hated her so passionately—everything about them was extreme. The love, the hate, the passion.
“My job’s demanding and I travel a lot. And so do you,” she said. “Would you have been happy doing another job or—”
“Maybe you would have followed me around.” He’d meant it as a joke but she clearly didn’t find it funny.
“You know, maybe my parents were right about you,” she said, taking a swipe at the cream on her plate and licking it from her finger before giving him a stern look. “They told me I’d never be happy being your girl, following you around and having no career or passion of my own. It’s funny how you can see that so clearly as a grown-up, but it’s so hard to wrap your head around as an eighteen-year-old.”
Tanner finished his coffee, eyes leveled on her as he pushed the cup away. “Your parents never did approve of me, did they? I was never good enough for their little girl.”
She shook her head. “Would you have approved of you? You might have been rich, but you were a bad boy to the core.”
“If I had a daughter, I’d be letting her set her own ground rules. You weren’t a precious little princess then, you had enough sass to tell me what you wanted or didn’t want.” He laughed. “I recall you being very vocal about what I was allowed to do, and I never made you do anything you didn’t want to do.”
Lauren slammed her palm on the table and stood up. She hovered, staring at him, opening her mouth like she was about to say something, then shutting it.
“Am I wrong?” he asked, not backing down and not breaking their stare.
He watched as she gripped the edge of the table, knuckles white like she was grappling with something. Tanner’s pulse started to race when he saw a familiar challenge in her gaze.
“Screw what my daddy thought,” she murmured, marching around the table to him and placing a hand to his chest to push him back in his seat.
Tanner leaned back as she straddled him, both palms to his chest now, her dark eyes fixed on his. She shifted one hand to his face, staring at his mouth, her own lips parted.
“What are we doing?” he whispered.
She leaned in so close, her lips hovering over his. “Going back to where it all began,” she said softly, her breath warm and sweet. “That’s what we’re doing.”
Chapter 10
LAUREN refused to listen to the little voice in her head telling her to stop. Why would she stop something that felt so, so good? To hell with being the good girl and doing what was right all the time, because Tanner’s mouth against hers felt so damn good, and why couldn’t that be the right thing to do? This was just fun. This wasn’t serious, this wasn’t changing her future or compromising what she wanted. This was something that felt good for now.
She shut her eyes and lost herself in the sensation of her lips brushing back and forth against his, her fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his head back so it was at just the perfect angle. She touched his cheek, felt the rough stubble beneath her fingertips—so at odds with the softness of his mouth, with the gentle way he was kissing her.
Lauren pushed harder into him, her thighs pressing to his, tightening around him as she opened her mouth wider, kissed him more fiercely, losing herself to the taste and feel of him. Ohhh, how she’d missed this man!
“Lauren,” he murmured, groaning a little and pushing her back.
Her eyes popped open and she saw the strain on his face. Was he not into it? What was—
“This goes against everything I want, but I need you to stop.”
She froze.
“You’ve got a damn tight grip, girl, it’s killing me.”
Oh shit! “Ohmygod, Tan.” She leapt up, realizing that she’d been putting all her weight into him and she’d been squeezing her thighs against him, right into his sore hip, and probably putting way too much pressure on his chest, too. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He laughed and held out a hand to her. She took it, palm to his, looking down at him and wondering how she could be so conflicted when it came to this gorgeous, frustrating man.
“Trust me, I’d normally love that little body of yours all over mine. You’re a damn featherweight.” He chuckled. “But I’m not exactly in peak condition right now.”
She swallowed, seeing the way he was looking at her, knowing what that look meant. He wanted this as badly as she did. Lauren tucked her fingers around his hand, still palm to palm, not wanting him to pull his hand away. The connection made her feel alive, the buzz of anticipation coursing through her body made every nerve ending tingle, every tiny hair on her body stand on end.
“You want to do this?” she asked, sounding braver than she felt about initiating physical contact between them.
“That depends on what this is,” he replied, the corners of his mouth tugging up into the most irresistible of smiles.
“Me and you,” she said. “But just while we’re here.”
He laughed, deep and throaty and sexy as hell. “You want me for sex and nothing else? Or am I not understanding you correctly?”
She let out a shuddery breath that she hadn’t even realized she was holding. “I just want us to”—she paused—“to just be while we’re here. We can get your body in top shape again and we can enjoy whatever happens between us here, too. A fling.”
Tanner looked smug, like the cat that had just swiped all the cream. “I’m not saying no.”
She dropped to her knees then saw the surprised look on his face. Lauren laughed. “Easy, tiger, it’s not what you think.”
She started to rub his leg, massaging it again, kneading deep into his skin. “I might have hurt you before, but my number-one priority while we’re here is healing you.”
“I know a better way you could heal me,” Tanner said, hissing when she pressed hard into his thigh. “That damn bull broke my body, but you were the one who broke my heart.”
“Shut up with the broken heart stuff,” she said, not wanting to dwell on the past. She already felt guilty enough about what she’d done back then, even though she’d also hurt herself in the process, not just him. It was why she was never going to put herself in that position again—her future husband or long-term partner was going to be a sensible choice, someone who fit the little list she’d made for her potential mate. Steady, reliable, loving. Not someone who made her blood run boiling hot one minute and ice cold the next—that kind of attraction was too explosive, and it made a breakup almost impossible to recover from. Or to survive.
“Or what?” he asked. “What exactly are you going to do to me if I don’t shut up?”
She pressed harder into him, making him squirm. “Maybe I’ll mount you again and squeeze so hard with my thighs I’ll make you scream.”
Tanner laughed then, but he was soon howling when she upped the pressure. She was so focused on treating him, trying to keep her own raging libido in check, that she didn’t realize he’d leaned forward. His hand suddenly closed around he
r hair, pulling her up.
“Ouch!” she complained, having to move to relieve the pain. “Stop that!”
“Come here then,” he demanded.
Lauren glared up at him, but he’d caught her and she couldn’t extract herself without it hurting even more. She clambered forward and ended up leaning over him, his smug smile telling her everything she needed to know. He was a patient man, but he wasn’t that patient.
“You don’t tease me like that, offer me up sex on a platter, and then just switch to work mode.”
“I thought I was the one calling the shots?” she asked, her breathing shallow as her heart beat overtime.
“Just because I’m injured doesn’t mean you’re the boss,” he said. “I’m the man, and I say get that pretty little ass over here, sweetheart.” He patted his knee.
Lauren wanted to swipe the smile straight off his face, but there was something exciting about his back talk. She was never going to be a girl who was told what to do, but in a fantasy world where she could trust the guy? Right now it was sounding kind of fun, especially when the guy doing the demanding was the man who teased and taunted her over and over in her dreams. And that made it even more obvious to her that this was just a fun thing, it being so far outside her comfort zone of what she’d ever normally engage in.
“Don’t you think we should work on you before we…” she said, playing with her almost-dry hair and pulling it over one shoulder.
Tanner looked her up and down, and she knew she’d be blushing from her roots to her toes. But this was Tanner. It was the weirdest blend of excitement at being with someone for the first time and anticipation because she’d already been with him and knew exactly how good it would be.
“Sure,” he said, as if waiting wasn’t difficult, as if he didn’t give a damn when he bedded her.
Lauren squirmed on the spot, swallowing and wishing she could just body-slam into him, taking what she wanted. But Tanner was injured, which meant she couldn’t treat him as her plaything.
“You want me to massage you? Do you want to take a walk and go for a swim? Maybe we should start practicing for that run you want to do?”
He nodded, clearly trying to act nonchalant when in actual fact she’d bet he was as desperate for her as she was for him.
“You told me you don’t like to mix business with pleasure, right? So maybe we should be strictly professional during the day.”
Lauren felt like her insides were about to explode. He was repeating her own thoughts to her, and she wished to God he hadn’t been listening to her when she’d proudly announced that she’d never been involved with a client. He was toying with her, and she didn’t want to take the bait.
“Works for me,” she said, trying so hard to stay calm while praying he couldn’t detect the rapid beat of her pulse.
“So it’s a deal then? We work hard then play harder?” he asked, one eyebrow arched.
She balled her fists, defying the itch of her fingers as they begged to stretch forward. They wanted to touch him, to explore him; just like her mouth did. “Come on then, Tan, let’s put you to work.”
He opened his mouth to say something but she lunged forward and gripped his hair, her fingers too fast for the hand that grabbed at her wrist to stop her. Just like he’d done to her, she locked him in place, tilting his head back and bending to claim his mouth. She kissed him so hard and so long that it stole the breath from her, left her panting as she slowly released her fingers.
“You can be the boss after dark,” she murmured, leaning back in for one more quick kiss, reassuring herself that it was the right thing to do when her stomach erupted into flips. “But when the sun is shining, I’m the boss, and you do as I damn well say.”
Tanner’s eye glinted, the challenge undeniable. She was in big trouble now—and she couldn’t wait.
Her phone rang, breaking the tension and the silence. Lauren waited a beat, not wanting to be the first to look away, but when he didn’t back down she just laughed and jumped up to grab it. She didn’t recognize the number, and within a second of her missing the call it started again.
“This is Lauren,” she answered, presuming it would be work related.
The male voice on the other end was unfamiliar, and extremely quick to get to the point.
“Where the hell are you two and how’s his recovery coming along?”
Lauren held the phone away from her ear a little, not liking the tone or the volume. “Ah, and you would be?”
“Tanner’s agent. The one he didn’t bother filling in on his recuperation plans. I need to know when he’s good to go again.”
She sighed, looking over at Tanner. He had his eyebrows raised in question. “I don’t know how you got my number or why you think I’d breach patient confidentiality, but if you want to speak to your client, I suggest you call your goddamn client.” Lauren clicked end and then switched her phone off.
“Please don’t tell me that was my agent checking up on me?” Tanner said with a groan. “He must be sick of me not answering my phone.”
She shrugged. “Come on, we have work to do. You want to talk to him?
“Hell no!” Tanner said. “I’m sick of being asked questions, being told what to do, all of it. I don’t want to answer to anyone while I’m here.”
“Well, good,” she said, meaning it. “If he calls me again, he’ll wish he hadn’t.”
* * *
Tanner felt like he’d had an erection all day, and he knew how impressive that was given how damn rough she’d worked him. He was getting punished and he knew it, but whatever she gave him, he grit his teeth and took it, because he was hating not being strong enough to do the things he wanted to do. Like scoop Lauren up and carry her back to his bedroom like a goddamn caveman. The fact he’d had to call an end to their fun at the kitchen table this morning had almost killed him, but it had also reminded him of just how hard he had to work to get his body back.
Without his strength, he felt useless. He craved the feeling of his calves burning from a run instead of every muscle, bone, and ligament in his leg feeling like they were going to collapse. And he wanted to feel the same kind of burn in his lungs from fighting for air after a workout rather than the piercing stab he still grappled with from where he’d been gouged.
“How you feeling, cowboy?” Lauren asked.
He could feel sweat on his brow, knew he was glistening, while she looked cool as a cucumber.
They’d been walking, they’d stretched and stretched some more, then gone for a light swim. Now he was lying on his stomach while she performed another deep massage, focusing on his upper body this time, and he was more strapped up than he’d been the day before. He was seriously getting used to living on Fiji time, and he seriously liked that she’d let him lie on the sand for this massage.
“I’m feeling like by the time it’s my turn to be the boss, I won’t have any skin left to show. You’ll be naked and I’ll look like a mummy all bandaged up.”
Her laugh was sweet. “Sorry. It got pretty intense there, but you’re in a bad way.”
“So you keep telling me.” He groaned as he rolled over.
“So what are our plans for the rest of the day?” he asked, looking up into her big brown eyes and wishing she’d been giving him an entirely different kind of massage. He reached for her hair, coaxing his fingers beneath the tie that held it up off her face. It didn’t take long for it come free, and her hair tumbled down her shoulders. That’s the way he liked it—her dark mane wild and loose.
“Well, you know Fiji,” she mused, sucking in her bottom lip and giving him the cutest damn look. “It gets dark here pretty early.”
He inhaled, sharply, biting down on his fist to stop from touching her. “So I’m officially yours until sunset. Do I get to rest now?”
She slowly bent to him, her lips hovering into a smile. “Uh-huh,” she murmured, her lips so close to his he could feel the heat of her breath, could sense the hum of her skin as she paused
.
Finally she kissed him, so softly it was barely even a touch. “I’m going in to take a shower. I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Dinner?” He’d been thinking they’d head straight to bed.
“A girl needs her strength,” she said as she rose and winked at him, laughing as she walked off.
“When you said shower…” he called out after her.
“I meant me, in the shower, alone,” she confirmed, holding onto the big glass door as she looked back at him. “See you at dinner, Tanner. And I’ll leave out some turmeric supplements for you to take.”
“Turmeric?”
“It’s a wonder food, trust me. A week of taking that twice daily and my expert care, and you’ll be feeling like a fine-tuned athlete.” She gave him a look that he couldn’t decipher. “If you’re game, I’ll even switch your coffee to a turmeric latte. It’s surprisingly good.”
He raised a brow and shook his head. “Sweetheart, I’ll swallow the pills, but try to get me drinking turmeric coffee and that’ll be the end of me following orders. Period.”
* * *
Tanner stayed propped up on his elbow watching her go before collapsing back down onto the lounger. His body was sore still, but he was getting used to that—it was the fatigue he was finding hard to deal with. The recovery post-accident wasn’t something he’d expected to be so hard, but then his recovery was turning out like nothing he could ever have expected.
When Mia had suggested he work with Lauren, it had been like he was the bull and someone was wildly waving a red flag in his line of sight. He’d snapped at his sister and been like a bear with a thorn in his paw in the days and weeks leading up to their departure for Fiji. And now? Now he was salivating over the one woman who’d stopped him trusting any female he’d ever been intimate with.
He knew he’d never trust her like that again, but sex was sex. The fact he hated what she’d done to him way back when didn’t mean he’d ever stopped being attracted to her. Hell, he’d woken up slick with sweat, the sheets tangled around him, plenty of times, with naked Lauren images filling his head. The dreams he’d had about her, the fantasies of having his wicked way with her one more time, had never left him. Which is why he’d probably never forgiven her, because a part of her had always stayed with him.