by Soraya Lane
Now he had the chance to get her out of his system once and for all, and it was him calling the shots. He was the one who’d decide when they caught their private jet back to Texas, meaning he was the one deciding when their summer fling would end. There would be no broken hearts, just two satisfied adults who made the most of the dark hours on an island in the middle of the Pacific.
Tanner was all about the no-strings-attached affair; hell, it had been his motto his entire adult life. He closed his eyes and decided to rest awhile, needing the downtime to recover from the deep tissue massage, but behind his lids all he saw was Lauren.
His fingers clenched around her hair, tipping her head back so he could see the soft, creamy skin of her throat. He grazed his teeth across her, his other hand finding its way to her butt, indenting into her skin as he felt her rock against him. That had always been the fantasy, opening his eyes to find her mounted on him, riding him, her beautiful, shapely body filling his hands and his senses. Until she’d open her eyes and look down at him, as if she was seeing him for the first time, realizing who she was with.
Stop. He opened his eyes, no longer wanting to rest. That wasn’t how it was going to end tonight. Tonight, he wouldn’t wake up at that same moment. Tonight, he would look into Lauren’s eyes and she’d know exactly who she was climbing into bed with. And the only thing he’d see was the same desire reflected in his own gaze. Lauren wanted him and he wanted her.
He was in for one hell of a ride, that was for damn sure.
His phone started to vibrate and he groaned, reaching for it. So much for ignoring it for the next week. He stared at the screen, annoyed the number was showing as private.
“Hello,” he growled down the line.
“Tanner, what the hell do you think you’re doing just leaving without—”
“Shut up,” he said. “Just shut the hell up and leave me alone. I left a message for you stating that I was to be contacted only in an emergency.”
His agent was relentless, which Tanner had always liked—until recently. Now it was driving him nuts. “This is an emergency! I have media wanting big interviews, and we need to convince Wrangler that you’re going to be making a comeback or they won’t exactly be receptive next week when I’m trying to renew your sponsorship contract.”
“Marty, that’s not an emergency,” Tanner said, surprised by how calm he was being. “Call me again in the next fortnight, and I’ll be ending our contract and looking for a new agent. Are we clear?”
He ended the call and checked his text messages before holding down the side button, turning off the phone. He stared at the blank screen and grinned. Now that was more like it. He’d turn it on again later, but for now he was going to enjoy the silence.
Chapter 11
LAUREN could barely sit still. She was seated across from Tanner at what was possibly the most beautiful place she’d ever eaten dinner. They had a private table on the beach, away from the other guests, with tropical flowers set in the middle of the wooden tabletop and lines of torches burning to either side of them. It was perfect.
And so was the man seated across from her. Not “perfect” in a forever kind of way, but “perfect” for now. This was her chance to get him out of her system, to relax and play like she’d never done in college, to just be herself and to hell with the consequences. Because when they got home, they’d walk away from each other and step straight back into their old lives.
The look he was giving her was smoldering, his eyes never leaving hers, the hint of a smile playing constantly over his lips. Tanner reached for the champagne, within arm’s reach in a bucket of ice, and poured both of them a second glass.
“Have you noticed that the sun has gone down?” he asked.
The dark pink sky had slowly turned to inky black, and Lauren swallowed as she stared back at him, holding her champagne flute so tightly she feared the stem might snap.
“I have.”
His wink was slow and purposeful and she felt her stomach quiver, flip-flopping and full of nerves. This was torturous, knowing what was going to happen between them, knowing how badly they each wanted a rematch. But she had a feeling he was enjoying every second of drawing their evening out.
“Lobster linguine,” the waiter said, placing their second course on the table in front of them.
Lauren inhaled the smell of butter and garlic, her mouth salivating. “This looks incredible,” she said. “It’s just lucky we’re eating the same food. Our garlic breath is going to be terrible!”
Tanner laughed and picked up his fork, and she watched as he twirled his first mouthful of linguine. What surprised her was that with his left hand he reached for her, fingers stroking gently across the inside of her wrist before settling over her own fingers.
Her pulse ignited and she stayed still, listening to her own breath as he looked at her. “It’s been twelve years since I held your hand.”
She knew exactly how long it had been. “And twelve years since we lay in the back of your pickup and stared up at the stars.”
That had been the side of him that she’d wished her parents had known—the young man who wasn’t trying to show off, who shared his dreams and his thoughts with her. She’d loved both sides of him, because the show-off Tanner had been so much fun, but what she’d missed was the moments they’d spent alone. Two kids in love, just being real. At school he’d tried to act out and cover up his learning issues, never telling anyone else and swearing her to secrecy when he found out he was dyslexic, so when they were alone it was the real him. Or at least that’s how it had always felt.
“Twelve years since we made out by the river.”
“Made out?” she laughed. “I think we did more than just make out and you know it.”
Tanner slowly released his fingers from hers and she stared down at her dinner, no longer wanting food. Anticipation fueled her, made her want to just tell him to shut the hell up with the reminiscing and make some new damn memories.
“Not in the mood for lobster?” he asked.
Lauren reluctantly picked up her fork and eyed the succulent, big pieces of lobster among the linguine and garlic. Dinner looked delicious, she was just hungry for something else.
“So are you serious about making a comeback in the ring?” she asked, deciding to change the subject. “Or are you just all talk, not wanting to admit defeat yet?”
“Hell yes,” he said, looking surprised by her question. “I thought I’d made that clear? It’s the reason we’re here. I’ll be making my comeback, you can be damn sure of that.”
Lauren finished her mouthful. “I just, I don’t know—don’t take this the wrong way—but I’ve been wondering if you were just pushing back at your family, because they wanted you to stop.”
“I’m a grown man now, Lol, in case you haven’t noticed. I don’t need my father’s permission when it comes to my work or my personal life.” He gave her a long look. “Can you say the same?”
She coughed as she looked up at him, garlic catching in her throat. “You know, there’s a difference between needing permission and showing respect,” she said, choosing her words carefully. “I make my own decisions about my life, but would I be with a man my parents or even my sister didn’t approve of? I can unashamedly say I wouldn’t be, because our family time together is too precious to me. I love spending holidays together, my family means so much to me, and if I have a husband one day I want him to be a true member of my family.”
Tanner turned his attention back to his dinner, and she wished she knew what he was thinking. Had he changed his mind about wanting to be with her? Had she offended him?
“Is that why you ended things with me? Or was I just not good enough for you?”
Lauren groaned. For a moment she turned her attention to her food, eating a mouthful and then another, trying to figure out what to say. Was she supposed to be honest, after all this time, or did she keep her secret? Maybe Tanner deserved to know, but then what use was it confessing the
truth to him?
“I thought we were just going to enjoy being together while we were here?” she asked. “But whatever my reasons were, they had nothing to do with you not being good enough for me. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He was from one of the wealthiest, most well-known families this side of Texas—how the hell could he think for a second that she somehow didn’t think he was good enough for her?
“We are just in this for fun,” he said, his voice low as he reached for her hand again. This time his touch felt stronger, more determined. “But I’ve never forgotten that look on your face, and I’ve wondered all these years whether it was your decision or not. It was the one thing that drove me crazy, not knowing why.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said, trying to throw him off the trail, not wanting to go down this path. “All the beautiful women you’ve bedded, all the groupies who salivate over you when you’re on tour, haven’t been enough to get your mind off that moment? You’ve seriously thought about the why?”
His laugh was deep. “I’ve been well distracted, I’m not gonna lie, but something about you has always stuck with me. Tell me you didn’t feel the same and I’ll call you a liar.”
She shrugged. “Maybe I did think about that moment,” she said, confessing that much at least. In reality she’d played the moment over and over in her mind every single night, sometimes multiple times a day, remembering the hurt in his eyes, the pain she’d caused them both when she’d broken things off. “But it was a long time ago.”
“Tell me the why, Lauren,” he asked, and she knew she couldn’t keep putting him off without giving him an answer. “I just need to know if it was your parents. After all this time, surely it doesn’t matter if I find out?”
She sighed and took a long, cool sip of champagne. “It’s true. They gave me an ultimatum, and I gave in.”
“Just like that?”
She slammed her glass down on the table harder than she meant to. “No, Tanner, not just like that. I fought and kicked and screamed, but in the end I had to make the choice I made. And it was the right damn choice.”
“What was it?” His voice was low, his stare was impossible to avoid. “What was more important than us?”
“My college tuition,” she confessed, her voice low as she finally told him what she’d held close all these years. “They paid my college tuition in full and I came out debt free and able to focus on the future I wanted to build for myself. The career I’d been dreaming of became possible because they helped me, because I traded us for my education. You happy now?”
He was silent for a long time, still holding her hand. She’d expected him to pull it away, but he didn’t.
“They say the truth sets you free,” he finally replied, “but now all I’m thinking is why the hell didn’t you just ask me for the money? Were you too proud? Why wouldn’t you have tried to find another way?” He laughed. “I could have paid whatever tuition you needed from my trust fund if you couldn’t have gotten your own loan.”
She blinked away tears as they slowly filled her eyes. It wasn’t often she felt the raw burn of emotion like that, not wanting to cry over anything ever, but this was Tanner, and talking about all this had plunged her straight back into the past. The decision she’d had to make, the things she’d considered to avoid having to end things, and why she knew she’d made the right choice.
“I did try to get a loan. I went to three different banks, I worked out my options, but seven years of studying was just…” She blew out a breath. “Working part-time covered my living costs, but my folks paid for the best education money could buy and I couldn’t match it. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask my boyfriend for the cash. What would your dad have thought if you’d told him you needed money for some floozy to go to college? I could never have asked that of you, and my pride wouldn’t have let you pay my way for me anyway.” She shook her head sadly. “I wanted to make my own way in the world, and my parents helping their daughter achieve her dreams is different than a boyfriend doing it.”
“You were hardly some floozy, Lauren.”
“To you, maybe not. But to Walter Ford? I’d have looked like some money-hungry gold-digger, and I could never have lived with anyone thinking I was with you because I wanted something other than just plain old you.”
They both stayed silent, and then it was Lauren who pulled away. She went back to eating, not wanting to waste what was one of the most beautiful dinners she’d ever had. She shouldn’t have told him, because Tanner would only see how he could have fixed the situation. And it hadn’t been something she’d wanted him to fix.
“Can we just forget about the past?” she asked. “Our breakup ripped my own heart out as much as it ripped out yours, and I don’t want to go back.”
His smile was tight now, his expression more melancholy than she’d seen since they’d arrived in Fiji.
“All this time, that’s been the one thing I’ve wanted to know. I should have asked you a decade ago why you’d ended things, and maybe I wouldn’t have become so damn bitter and twisted.”
“Yeah, well, water under the bridge now, right?”
“Water under the bridge,” he repeated, but she knew they were just words. Neither of them would ever forget their heartache as teenagers, the pain of having your first love ended so abruptly.
“Do you think less of me now?” she asked. “Now that you know I gave you up for college?”
“No.” His answer was fast. “It changes everything, actually.”
“How?” Lauren was confused. Why did he not hate her even more now that knew the truth?
“Because all this time, I thought you’d been a heartless bitch who’d somehow managed to string me along when you had no intention of staying together,” Tanner told her, the huskiness of his voice telling her that he was finding this whole conversation as emotional as she was. “But following your dreams is one thing I do understand. My family has tried to push me in other directions, tried to bully me into doing something different with all kinds of the threats and tactics, but I stayed true to what I wanted. Bull riding was my passion and I wouldn’t give that up for anyone or anything, although I’ve always promised myself that if I need to step in to our family business, if anything ever happens to Dad, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. I won’t be pressured into it or told what to do, but when that day comes, my allegiance will be clear.”
“So you get it?”
“I more than get it, I goddamn admire it,” he said. “I just wish you’d been able to give your parents the two-finger salute and get the guy at the same time.”
She met his gaze then smiled back at him, his grin contagious. “Maybe having a fling with the guy twelve years later is enough.”
“Damn right,” he repeated. “Now finish eating, we’ve got dessert to go and then I’m throwing you over my shoulder and taking you to bed.”
His phone buzzed then and Tanner reached for it, his eyes not leaving hers, making her squirm in her seat. When he glanced at the screen he groaned.
“Why did I even bring this damn thing with me?”
“Your agent again?” She’d noticed that he’d switched his phone to silent after the first day of calls—everyone seemed to want a piece of him, even while he was away.
He nodded. “I thought I couldn’t get my family off my back, but this guy is…” He refused the call, and she watched as he held his finger on the button to turn the phone off. “They all want me to recover? They can leave me the hell alone to do it. And they can stop asking me when, what, how…” Tanner groaned. “I told him I’d fire him if he called me again, so I guess he’s called my bluff.”
She laughed. “I wholeheartedly agree.” His agent wanted to know when he’d be making his comeback, his sister wanted to know how everything was going, and the rest of his family … well, she guessed they were wanting to talk him into retirement. Whatever they were all hassling him about, he didn’t seem to want to engage with them.
<
br /> Tanner grinned back and pushed his phone away, and Lauren suddenly couldn’t take her eyes off him.
* * *
Tanner stretched out in his chair, staring at Lauren and realizing there had been so much going on in her head that he hadn’t known about. Why the hell hadn’t he guessed what had happened all those years ago? He’d hated her for something that had hurt her as much as it had hurt him, and all this time he’d hated her for what she’d done.
He watched as she tossed her long hair back over her shoulder, leaning back in her seat now that she’d finished her linguine. She was so effortlessly beautiful, and he wondered if she knew just how attractive she was. In a world full of bottle blondes, too-white teeth, and fake everything, she was a classic brunette beauty, and he liked the fact that she’d been so open about her ambitions. It might have ended their relationship, but she was driven and that’s what he liked about her. He could have found a way to help her pay for college, he was sure of it, but it would have been him taking charge, him pulling the strings instead of her parents. And he would have also caused a divide between her and the family she loved more than anything.
He poured the last of their champagne and held up his glass. Lauren had an air of uncertainty about her, and he wanted to quell any fears she had about her confession.
“To fresh starts and new beginnings,” he said, clinking his glass to hers.
She smiled, lighting up her entire face. “To fresh starts,” she echoed.
Tanner sipped his drink and watched her do the same, not breaking their connection even when dessert arrived.
“Chocolate torte with almond brittle ice cream,” the waiter announced, setting the plates in front of them.