All Night with the Cowboy

by Soraya Lane

  Was it? Her dad had never been happy to see him before and she’d been so certain that wouldn’t have changed. Ever. Why would he feel differently now, or was he just being polite because Tanner was a man now and he was technically a guest in their home?

  “Happy anniversary, sir,” Tanner said as he clasped her father’s hand back. “I hear congratulations are in order. Forty years is no mean feat.”

  Her father had already downed a couple of drinks—they all had—so if there was ever a time for Tanner to get away with turning up at their house unannounced, it was probably now. She was surprised by how relaxed her dad’s body language seemed to be.

  “I read that you were competing yesterday,” her father said. “Sounds like you had a good ride, is that the right terminology?”

  Tanner laughed. “Yes and yes, it was a good ride. Climbing back on the beast that had thrown me and done its best to kill me took nerves of steel, I can tell you that. But I’m sore today, damn sore!”

  “I didn’t know you’d been following Tanner’s bull-riding career,” Lauren said, trying to hide her shock.

  “You’d be surprised what I know, sweetheart.”

  Clearly she would be. After he’d as good as marched Tanner out of her life, she hadn’t expected her dad to have given him a second thought. But to find out that he’d been following him?

  “Mr. Lewis, I know I’ve interrupted your evening so I won’t take long, but I wanted to show you that the boy you knew, back when I was dating your daughter, well, he’s all grown up now.” Tanner cleared his throat. “I understand now why you asked Lauren to end things with me, because to be honest, if I was a girl’s dad, I’d have been holding a shotgun and marching me the hell away, too. I was a bad influence on her and I needed to grow the hell up before I had any right to be laying claim to her.”

  Lauren tried to stop her jaw from falling open as she looked from her father to Tanner. Surely this wasn’t actually happening? Did Tanner come here looking for forgiveness? Why the hell would he even care what her father thought of him now that he was a grown-ass man? And what was this talk about laying claim to her? Any other time she’d have jumped up to defend her rights as a woman, but right now she was too shocked to say anything. And curious—she was deeply, painfully curious to know why this conversation was even taking place.

  Her father made some weird hand gesture, shaking it like he was clearing the air. “Tanner, the past is in the past, and to be honest, maybe I was a little hard on you.”

  Tanner grinned. “Seriously? Because with all respect, I think you were probably right about me.”

  They both laughed, and Lauren went to sit beside her sister, legs shaking as nerves set in. It was like she was in a dream, watching what was going on without actually being a part of it. She felt like she was back in high school.

  “Sir, the reason I’m here,” Tanner said, looking more serious, his face more somber now, “is to ask for permission to date your daughter, with the intention of making an honest woman of her one day. I’ve gone about this all wrong in the past, but this is me trying to do the right thing so you know my intentions right from the outset.”

  “Holy shit,” Lauren murmured, her hand quivering as she reached for her glass of champagne. She slowly, quietly polished off the rest of it, not setting her glass back down until every last drop had been consumed.

  Hannah suddenly had a hold of her other hand but Lauren couldn’t look at her. Her skin was on fire, her body was still shaking, her tongue wouldn’t move. She couldn’t have gotten a word out even if she wanted to. Why was this conversation going on as if she wasn’t even in the room?

  “Tanner, maybe we were wrong to break you up, but we only did what we thought was right at the time.” Her father turned, and Lauren watched as he exchanged glances with her mom. “I’m done telling my daughter what to do though. If you want permission, then you’ll have to ask Lauren. It’s hers to give, not mine.”

  Her father, Tanner, her mom, her sister, and Fred all turned to look at her. Lauren balled her fists and dug her nails into her palms.

  “Lauren?” Tanner asked, and suddenly as his gaze warmed her, it was like they were the only two people in the room. She stared back at him, wishing she knew what to say, wishing she wasn’t so terrified of what she didn’t know, of having her heart broken.

  “I…” she murmured, so genuinely lost for words.

  Tanner came closer and dropped to one knee in front of her, taking one of her hands and holding it in his. “I’m sorry for the way I behaved, but if there’s one thing I’ve realized, it’s that I can’t let you slip through my fingers again. I’m so, so sorry I hurt you.”

  “I honestly don’t know,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, I…”

  “Tanner, why don’t you join us for the evening?” her mother said, taking the attention from her. Lauren would be eternally grateful and hoped she remembered to thank her later. “There’s plenty of food and we have another bottle of champagne waiting to be opened.”

  Tanner smiled in response, but it was her answer he seemed to be waiting for.

  “Lauren?” he murmured. “I’ll walk straight back out that door and leave you to your evening if you want me to, you just say the word.”

  “Stay,” she croaked, before summoning all her courage and reaching out, hesitantly, to touch his cheek. “Please stay.” She couldn’t answer his questions or figure out how she felt or what she wanted, all she knew was that she didn’t want him walking out that door and away from her right now. Maybe ever.

  Tanner leaned a little closer and Lauren’s heart skipped a beat, waiting for him to kiss her, expecting it. But instead he pulled back and took her other hand, pulling her to her feet. He was definitely on his best behavior, trying to impress her parents.

  * * *

  Tanner sat at the table, beside Lauren and across from her father. It was a strange feeling. All these years of blaming Lauren for ending things, and suddenly he could see so clearly why she’d done it, and he could see why her parents hadn’t wanted him near their daughter. Hell, he’d have probably sent his daughter to a university on the other side of the world if he had any say in the matter, so the fact her father had sternly told her to call things off probably wasn’t a bad call.

  But he was here now, and he wasn’t about to let Lauren just disappear from his life again, not now when he could prove why he deserved her.

  He noticed Lauren’s glass was empty and reached for the bottle of champagne, refilling her glass. Her hand came to rest on his thigh, so lightly he might not have even felt it if he hadn’t seen the movement.

  “It’s nice to have you here,” she whispered as her head dropped to his shoulder.

  Tanner’s body stiffened, but he let it go, forcing his shoulders to relax as he took in a big breath. His natural reaction was to rebuff this kind of thing in public, he was so used to not having a girlfriend or being close to anyone, but this was the intimacy he’d craved for so long. With the woman he’d been craving.

  “I can’t believe I was allowed in the house,” he murmured to her, kissing her head affectionately and stroking a hand through her long hair. “I’m thinking I’m not as hated as I thought.”

  “So Tanner, tell us about your comeback,” her father said. “You’ve had one hell of a career to date.”

  He kept an arm around Lauren, thumb brushing her shoulder as he smiled over at her dad. This was nice. This was a close-knit family who’d invited him into their embrace, and it struck him why Lauren had been so adamant that she wouldn’t be in a relationship that they didn’t approve of. Her family were kind, decent human beings, and they clearly all loved one another very much; he wouldn’t give up family gatherings and relationships like this for anyone either. Her mom was so kind and full of smiles, despite the past, and he smiled straight back at her when she made eye contact, clearly happy enough to have him seated at her table.

  “My first ride back was on the bull who tried to end me, but I’
ve been thinking a lot about second chances lately, and I think that helped to get me in the right head space.”

  “And my gorgeous sister managed to get your body back in tip-top shape, I’m guessing?” Hannah asked.

  Tanner laughed and squeezed Lauren’s shoulder. “She sure did. I’m betting she’s one of the most valuable assets on the Rangers,” he said. “Am I wrong?”

  They all had a laugh, and Tanner pushed his knife and fork together on the plate after taking his last mouthful of dinner.

  “You are a wonderful cook, Mrs. Ford.”

  She swatted the air at him. “Honey, it’s about time you called me Julie. You’re not that naughty boy any longer, so no more need for formalities.”

  “I try my best not to be,” he joked. “And I truly am sorry for what I put y’all through back then. I might ride bulls for a living, but other than that I’m a pretty straight up kind of guy.”

  “Well, that’s good to hear, but I have to confess I didn’t cook a thing. Lauren and her sister ran down to my favorite Italian restaurant and ordered the lot as a treat.”

  “Well, it was still good, whoever made it. It’s been a great night.”

  “Do you want to help me clear the table?” Lauren asked, rising beside him.

  “Sure.” Tanner filled his hands with plates and stood back to let Lauren go first. Her brother-in-law had disappeared to put the kids down, letting the girls have a good catch-up at the table, and Tanner wondered how he’d get on trying to wrangle kids. Bulls were one thing, but kids? He wasn’t so sure about that.

  He set the dishes down at the same moment as Lauren, and she stepped in close to him, shoulder to shoulder. He heard her big inhale and when he turned to her, she did the same, her cheek against his chest, her arms around his back. Tanner held her tight, not saying a word, just enjoying the feel of her in his arms, her warm, slender body wrapped so firmly to his. When she finally looked up, her head tilted back and her deep brown eyes locked on his, he slowly kissed her, taking his time, wanting her to know how much he loved her.

  “I can’t believe what you did tonight,” she said, pushing back as she smiled up at him. “You’ve got balls, I’ll say that.”

  “I wanted your parents to know that I cared for you enough to man the hell up,” he told her. “It was time I started behaving like a man instead of the boy who didn’t know how lucky he was to have you.”

  She sucked in her bottom lip and he knew she wanted to say something, and she was trying to figure out how to say it.

  “What is it?” he asked. “Whatever it is, I don’t want there to be secrets anymore.”

  “Did you mean what you said about making an honest woman of me? Does that mean what I think it means?”

  He dropped another kiss to her lips and brushed her hair from her face. “I lied when I told you I didn’t want anything more a fling,” he confessed, forcing himself to open up. It was now or never and he wasn’t about to ruin his one shot at being real with her. “I’ve only ever wanted you, Lauren. It just took me awhile to get my head around, I don’t know, my own shit I guess. I was still hurting from something that had happened so long ago.”

  “I never stopped loving you,” she said, holding him tight. “But is that enough for this to work? I mean, one of us has to give something up or we’ll never see each other, and I don’t even know if I can give you what you want.”

  He stared down at her. What he wanted? “I want you, it’s as simple as that,” he said. “What is there that you couldn’t give me?” He saw tears well in her eyes and raised his hand immediately to brush them away. “Hey, why are you crying?”

  She sighed and shut her eyes, but a tear escaped from the corner and ran slowly down her cheek. “You said at the ranch that you wanted a brood of children, and I used to want that too, but I don’t even know if I can have kids now.”

  He wrapped his arms around her tight, pulling her to him and wanting to keep her safely cocooned against his chest forever to protect her. She looked so sad, full of so much hurt, and he’d have done or said anything to soothe her.

  “I’m not here because I want your babies, Lauren. I’m here because you’re the one for me, and I don’t want to waste another day pretending I don’t love you.”

  Shit, the word had slipped out. It was the first time in his life he’d said the L-word and he could feel the change in Lauren, the way her breathing became shallow and her hands stopped moving against his back.

  She didn’t say it back to him, but she didn’t need to. The fact that she was giving him a chance right now was enough. More than enough.

  “So you don’t mind? If we can’t fill your ranch with children?” she asked. “Hand on your heart it isn’t a deal breaker? Or the fact that I’m working eighty-hour weeks during the season?”

  “Sweetheart, I’ll take however much you’re willing to give me. I promise that’ll be enough,” he said honestly. “And trust me, I think Mia will be filling the ranch with enough kids all on her own. Maybe we can just be the awesome aunt and uncle, which will mean me getting a whole lot more time alone with you anyway.”

  “I have endometriosis,” she said quietly. “I would love kids one day, but it might make things tough, or maybe even impossible. I want you to know that I’d want them if I could though.”

  He grinned down at her. “Whatever you want, baby.” Tanner said as he rocked his hips forward, kissing her when she leaned into him. “Whatever you want.”

  “Huh-hmm,” Lauren’s father made a noise in his throat to announce himself.

  Tanner pulled his lips from Lauren’s and looked sideways, jumping back when he saw her dad standing in the entrance to the kitchen.

  “Hands off my daughter,” he said with a laugh. “It’d be embarrassing to have to throw a grown man out my front door for getting frisky with my youngest girl.”

  Tanner gave her dad a salute and took a step back. “Speaking of your girl, would it be rude to steal her away before dessert?” Her dad shrugged and pointed to his daughter, making it clear that the decision was hers to make, not his. “There’s somewhere I’d like to take you, if you don’t mind skipping out of here early.”

  Lauren looked curious and nodded, giving her dad a quick kiss on the cheek before taking Tanner’s hand, their palm and fingers intertwined.

  “Where we going, cowboy?”

  He winked and brought her hand up to his to kiss. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

  Chapter 20

  TANNER hadn’t been this nervous when he’d eyed up Thunder Cat and prepared for his last ride. He wiped his shirtsleeve against his brow, wondering why the hell he was sweating so much when it wasn’t even a warm evening. He reached for Lauren’s hand and liked the fact she pulled him in and tucked her arm around him, her hand finding the pocket of his jeans just like she’d used to do so often.

  “Just because you’ve turned into Mr. Romantic doesn’t mean we can just slap a Band-Aid on and fix everything,” she said, leaning deep into him. “I hope you realize that.”

  “The only Band-Aid we needed was for my head,” he joked. “And trust me when I tell you I’ve got my head straight.”

  “You’re sure about that?”

  He laughed. “Yeah, well, when it comes to you I have.” He hadn’t mentioned his retirement to her, but then she hadn’t asked and he liked that about her. He had kept thinking about what she’d said about them both being dedicated to their careers and loving what they did. She hadn’t liked the thought of either of them losing out on what they loved. If she’d insisted he give up riding, he would have bucked against it and probably dug his heels in and refused. But this was his decision, and he’d made his peace with it now. Over beers he’d listened to Ryder tell him that the best thing in his life was his family, and it had made Tanner think long and hard about his future. There was only so much pleasure he could get from riding, and now with his father unwell and so many other things going on, the timing seemed right.

  It was l
ike the time he’d given up smoking. His sisters had told him it was a disgusting habit, the girl he’d been seeing on and off kept telling him to quit, and he wouldn’t, couldn’t, quit. But the day he’d decided to put his health first on his own terms? He’d smoked his last cigarette and never, ever picked one up again.

  “Tanner, where are you taking me?” Lauren asked. “It’s cold out here.”

  “Come on, it’s not far.”

  He’d driven them most of the way, but there was an elevated spot that overlooked the river that he wanted to walk the rest of the way to. When he’d planned this, he’d had no idea whether her parents would even let him in their house, let alone Lauren saying yes to coming with him or even feeling the same way he did. But she had, and he wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to show her how much he’d thought about her and how great they could be.

  “This won’t take long,” he told her as his lips brushed her hair. “It’s just up there.”

  He tugged her along, knowing that she must think he was absolutely nuts to have her out in the dark. But the moonlight was enough to go by, and the lights from his truck had illuminated part of the way, too.

  “Is this where we rode the other day?” she asked, stopping and looking around like she was trying to get her bearings. “This is—”

  “Our place,” Tanner said, finishing her sentence. “Down there is where we had our first kiss,” he said, holding her close to his side as he stared down into the darkness. “It was where I got to second base, then third.” He kissed her when he paused this time, then let go. “And whatever other bases there are,” he murmured.

  She returned the kiss, reaching for him when he stepped backward. “What’s that there?”

  Tanner walked backward a few more steps then squatted down, feeling around for the switch he’d left on the ground. He waited a moment, in the dark, wondering if he’d gone too far, before flicking it. Lights twinkled on the low grass, sparkling in a huge, magical square, and Tanner stood and went back to get Lauren.