A Choice of Secrets

by Barb Hendee

  “My lady?” one of them asked.

  “I need four of you to row me to shore,” I said.

  No one responded and then the same man asked, “Does his lordship know?”

  “I need to be taken to shore, right now. Prepare a boat.”

  This situation may be unprecedented, but I was their lady and they would follow my orders.

  “Once you return,” I added, “please have word sent to Lady Mildreth that I am well, but that I have gone to see my sister.” I knew this was risky, but I could not simply vanish from the keep and leave Mildreth panicked over what had become of me.

  “Yes, my lady.”

  Four of the guards rowed me the mile to shore.

  Once we reached shore, several guards there jogged into the waves to help pull the boat in, and I saw a man with a familiar face striding toward me. It was the young lieutenant who had brought Christophe the news of the attack on Chastain.

  He came straight to me and reached down to hand me up out of the boat. “My lady. What are you doing here?” He sounded anything but pleased. “Captain Fáuvel and his lordship have gone north.”

  I stood straight. My fur-lined hood was down. “Good morning, Lieutenant…?”

  “Lieutenant Solange,” he finished, sounding no less comfortable.

  “I’m aware that his lordship has gone north, but I’ve received an urgent message regarding my sister, the lady Chloe Belledini. I must go to her at once.”

  His jaw tightened. In truth, he was rather handsome, with red-brown hair and a close-trimmed beard a shade darker. “His lordship left me no instructions about a journey to Belledini lands.”

  This man was going to be more difficult to manage than the guards at the landing. He probably feared Christophe a good deal more than he would ever fear disobeying me.

  “No,” I said. “He left no orders because he did not know. The message only arrived today.” This was a foolish ploy on my part. It should have been clear to me that with the captain gone, Lieutenant Solange been left in charge here.

  “I had no messages rowed over to the island today, my lady,” he answered.

  Anxiety washed through me, but I had not come this far to fail and I changed tactics. “Lieutenant, my sister is in great difficulty and she needs my assistance. I am going to her. I’ll saddle a horse myself if I must. But I am the lady of Whale’s Keep and I am standing at the barracks of my own family guards. So you will please organize a contingent of ten men to escort me to Belledini lands.”

  His expression shifted to frustration and I knew what I was asking of him. But I’d meant what I said about saddling a horse and going myself, and he seemed to realize this was no hollow threat.

  Perhaps to make me think twice, he said, “You won’t make Belledini lands in one day. You’ll need to spend the night somewhere.”

  “I trust the man you place in charge of my escort will be able to secure me safe accommodations.”

  In resignation, he sighed and said, “I’ll choose nine men and take you myself. Would you rather ride in a wagon or on a horse?”

  “A horse. I want to set a quick pace.”

  * * * *

  Lieutenant Solange proved both a skilled and resourceful escort. Apparently, he knew exactly where we were going and asked my approval several times to take shortcuts off the road and through the forest.

  I agreed every time, clinging to my horse and letting it follow his.

  The further we travelled, the more I thought on how Christophe would react when he learned what I had done. Would he be more angry or more frightened? I hated the thought of him in a panic, but he’d given me no choice. I’d asked for his help and he had refused.

  Just past dusk, the lieutenant brought our small party into a bustling town and he led us toward an inn.

  “Whose lands are we on now?” I asked.

  He glanced back at me. “You don’t know? We’re on Montagna lands. We need to cross your father’s territory to reach the Belledinis’.”

  There was a full town on my father’s lands? I hadn’t known that.

  Pulling up in front of the inn, the lieutenant dismounted, lifted me down, and took my traveling bag from the saddle. Then he handed a small pouch to one of his men.

  “Go to the stables, settle the horses, and see if you can hire space to sleep in the loft. I’ll stay here with our lady.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  As the guard took my horse and the lieutenant’s, I realized it would cost money to stable the animals and house the men—and to pay for rooms. I had no money. Where would I get money? I’d never needed any. But it seemed the lieutenant carried coins.

  “I will see that you are reimbursed for travel costs,” I said.

  He didn’t respond and I knew he probably had larger concerns than the cost of a room or stabling horses. He’d led me here without orders from Christophe. This thought brought a wave of guilt—as I had placed him in this position—but I pushed it down.

  I had to help Chloe.

  Taking me inside the inn, he arranged for one room. This confused me at first, but he brought me upstairs and got me settled. Then he picked up an extra blanket and headed for the door.

  “I’ll sleep on the floor, just outside this door,” he said. “No one will come in.”

  “You’re going to sleep on the floor in the hallway?” I asked.

  “His lordship would have my head if anyone came in here.”

  Without knowing what else to say, I bid him good night. True to his word, he slept outside my door. The room was small and the cleanliness of the sheets was questionable. But I fell asleep almost instantly, feeling safe.

  The next morning, we started off early after a breakfast of rolls and tea.

  We’d traveled only about an hour when the lieutenant said, “It’s not far now, my lady. We’ve crossed over into Belledini lands. We should arrive at the manor by midday.”

  “Oh, that is good news.” Then I thought on his wording. “But I’m not going to the manor. My sister and her husband live in a cottage west of the manor, near a vineyard. Do you know where that is?”

  “I don’t. But we’ll find it.”

  Again, I was grateful for his presence.

  He led the way west and when the sun was high, he pulled us up at the sight of four men working in a vineyard. Clucking to his horse, he trotted over and spoke to the men. When he came back, he pointed down a path. “They say the cottage is just over there.” Then he pointed up the main road to the east. “My lady, the manor is about a half hour’s ride up there. Are you sure you don’t wish to go to the manor first and announce your arrival?”

  I understood his meaning. I was Lady de Fiore. It would have followed more normal protocol for me to inform the family of my arrival, to offer my greetings, and then go to visit my sister. But this was not a normal situation.

  “No. I would like to go straight to the cottage.”

  “Yes, my lady.”

  Starting forward again, he led our party down a path between a line of maple trees and we emerged into a clear area that appeared to be a charming setting at first. A two-story cottage stood at the center of the scene, with another vineyard stretching out behind it.

  But as we drew closer, the scene took on a different quality. The door of the front gate had fallen off and lay on the ground. Two patches of ground looked as if they had once served as kitchen gardens, but there were no herbs or vegetables growing in either one, only weeds. A small rose garden to the right of the house was dead, from lack of water. There were no people about, not a single servant or a groom. There were no chickens or goats.

  The place appeared utterly deserted. Was Chloe even here? Could she and Julian be staying up at the manor now? But no, Lady Belledini told my mother that Chloe was living here at the cottage and had not been seen since mid-summer. And somehow, a
s with that night I’d felt Chloe calling to me across the distance, I knew she was here.

  “My lady?” said the lieutenant, his voice thick with caution.

  Grasping the front of the saddle, I took my feet from the stirrups and jumped to the ground, not caring how ungraceful I looked.

  “Wait here,” I ordered. “Don’t move any closer.”

  Walking to the front door, I knocked, waiting for a servant to answer. There was no response, but a memory struck me of Chloe saying that she and Julian had been making promises to pay meat and bread bills.

  “Hello?” I called. “It is the lady Nicole, here to see Lady Chloe. Please open the door.”

  A moment later, the door cracked and someone asked, “Nicole?”

  It was Chloe’s voice. She was answering her own door.

  A knot tightened in the pit of my stomach.

  Turning, I walked back to Lieutenant Solange, who sat on his horse, watching me with alarm. “What is happening here?” he said. “Why is this place so—?” He didn’t finish the sentence.

  “Take your men and go up to the manor,” I ordered. “Ask the sergeant there to find you quarters and stable the horses.”

  He looked down at me. “There is no way in all the hells I’m leaving you here.” He did not bother to add, “My lady.”

  Since yesterday morning, our relationship had altered, and he had become more of a friend than a solider. We were no longer a lady and her guard. We were a woman and a man having an argument.

  “What is your given name?” I asked.

  This took him aback. “Gerard.”

  Stepping closer, I put my hand on the shoulder of his horse. “Gerard, my sister is inside and I believe she is in need of my care. I could be in there for days. Your men and the horses need to be housed. Please take them and go up to the manor. I am perfectly safe here in the home of my sister, and I need time with her. Please.”

  He breathed in and out several times. “Is there a servant of some kind in there with her?”

  I did not know, but I answered, “I’m sure there is.”

  “The manor is not far. You swear you’ll send for me if you need anything? Anything at all?”

  “I swear.”

  Finally, he relented. “You go inside first. Once you’re safely inside, I’ll take my men to the manor. But I’ll be back to check on you first thing in the morning.”

  “Thank you.”

  In the end, he must have seen the truth in my words. There was no telling how many days I might be here. I would be safe in the cottage on Belledini lands, and he had to find quarters for his men and the horses.

  After pulling my travel bag from my saddle, I walked to the door, which was still cracked.

  “Let me in.”

  The door opened a little further and I slipped inside, closing it behind me. Then I found myself looking at my sister—or someone who might have been my sister. I barely recognized her. She was beyond thin, nearly starved. Her gown was soiled. Her hair hung unwashed around her face. Her right eye was bruised and blackened.

  I wanted to weep. “Chloe.”

  “Nicole?” she whispered. “Are you here? Is this real?”

  “Yes, I’m here.”

  Looking around, I took in the state of the place. Light came through the windows to show the remnants of what must have once been a parlor. There were no couches or chairs now, not even a rug; only a few low tables remained.

  I saw no servants and no sign of Julian. A sudden fear hit me. “Where is baby Gideon?”

  “Gideon? He is over here.” She walked behind a table and as I followed, I saw a cradle behind the table. Relief filled me, but only until I looked down. He lay in the cradle naked but for a diaper. His eyes were closed and his breaths were shallow.

  “My milk is going dry,” Chloe said. “I cannot feed him.”

  “There must be milk in the house?” I asked desperately. “You have no goat? No cow?”

  “No,” she said without emotion. “They are gone. All gone.”

  “Is there any food in the house?”

  She shook her head.

  “How long has it been since you’ve eaten?”

  She didn’t answer.

  Though all I wanted to do was sink to the floor and weep, I moved into action. Before leaving the keep, I’d packed a small basket of gifts for her and brought it in my travel bag. There wasn’t much in the basket, but I hurriedly dug it out.

  “Chloe, come here.”

  Kneeling by the table, I set out a few apples from our orchards, sugar biscuits, and a jar of strawberry jam. At the sight of the food, she came to life a little, picking up a biscuit, dipping it in the jam, and taking a small bite, but I could see how hungry she was. I’d brought tea leaves, a jar of good cream, a jug of wine, and a wedge of cheese, but I’d need to boil water for the tea and find a knife to slice the cheese. There was a more important matter first.

  Lifting my skirt, I tore off a section of the white shift I wore beneath.

  After stripping off my cloak, I used it to wrap Gideon and I sat on the floor. Dipping a tiny corner of the white cloth into the cream, I tried to get the baby to open his mouth. At first, he did not move, but then his mouth opened and he began to suck. Over and over, I dipped the cloth in the milk. I knew this was risky, as my mother had always warned me that human babies should be given cows’ milk only in an emergency. Their bodies required their mother’s milk at this age and they could react badly to anything else. But this was an emergency.

  When I’d gotten him to consume about half the jar, I stopped and rocked him for a while. Thankfully, he kept the cream down and fell into a more normal sleep. Looking over at Chloe, I saw her struggling to finish half a biscuit, as if she’d forgotten how to eat. Now that the initial crisis with the baby was past, the reality of their situation was beginning to sink in.

  “Where is Julian?” I asked.

  “Gone.”

  “He’s abandoned you?”

  “Abandoned? No. He would never. He leaves sometimes. But he’ll come back.”

  “How long has he been gone this time?”

  “I’m not sure. Three days?”

  I looked around at the remnants of the parlor. “Is there anyone here? A maid?”

  “No, the servants are gone.”

  She spoke as if sleepwalking and I had no idea what to make of any of this. But anger was beginning to replace shock. My beautiful sister was a bruised ghost of her former self and my nephew was on the brink of starvation.

  And Julian was not here.

  As Chloe did not appear up to making sense yet, I moved back into action, exploring the lower floor of the cottage and finding the kitchen in the back. There was a stove, a teakettle, firewood, and an indoor water pump.

  I built a fire in the stove and made tea. After pouring two cups of tea, I found a sharp kitchen knife and made my way back to the parlor.

  “I’ve made tea, but we’ll need to drink it straight. We should save the cream for Gideon.”

  She came to join me, closing her eyes in relief as she sipped the tea. I cut her several slices of the cheese.

  “Try to eat a little,” I said.

  She tried to nibble the cheese. “Thank you.” She almost sounded as if she didn’t know me.

  “Chloe, what has happened here? Where is your furniture? Where are your servants?”

  “Gone,” she said and she seemed able to say no more.

  As I could get no useful information from her, I wondered if she might speak once she was more comfortable. First, I fetched a cold cloth for her eye. Then I took her upstairs to find her rooms. Much of the furnishings up here were gone too. But the beds and the wardrobes remained.

  I found a clean gown and helped her to change. Then I brushed out her hair. It needed a wash, but I worried that mi
ght be too much for her. Reaching up, she touched the back of my hand.

  “Nicole, are you really here?” she asked.

  “Yes. I’m here.” Thinking I might stir her with some news of myself, I said, “Soon, we will have another baby in the family. I am with child.”

  I was not close to showing yet. She looked at my flat stomach and said nothing.

  The afternoon wore on and I spent my time simply caring for them. I fed Gideon twice more and changed his diaper and found a little shirt for him. By the time the afternoon was waning, he did seem improved. But I had as yet gained no answers from Chloe.

  Then a thought stuck me. She had always liked wine.

  Down in the nearly empty parlor, I knelt on the floor and sliced more cheese. Then I took the jug from my basket. “Chloe, come and try a little of this. I’ve brought a fine red wine from home.”

  Her eyes lit up and she came to join me. I poured a good portion into her empty teacup and she drank it. When she finished, I poured her some more.

  I waited a while and then I said, “Please talk to me. Was the house in this state when Lord Belledini offered it as a home for you and Julian?”

  She wasn’t looking at me, but sipped more of the wine, and I could see her mind drifting back. Slowly, she shook her head.

  “No,” she whispered. “When we first arrived here, everything was as I imagined. The cottage is not large, but it was well furnished, and we still had my stipend and even some money left from wedding gifts. Julian spoke of improvements we could make, such as building a stable. We hired a cook and a maid. Belledini manor is not far from here, and we were invited to dinner at least twice a week. Julian loved to go then. His father was proud of him for having married into the Montagna family, and his older brothers—I hesitate to say this, but their wives are not pretty and when first they saw me, they did not bother to hide their jealousy of Julian. I think he relished that more than anything.”

  “But then things changed?”

  “Yes. Julian began leaving for days at a time. I didn’t know where he was. But he told me he was trying to earn money for us. I wanted him to stay here and do as his father expected, to learn a trade as a winemaker and merchant. Then one night, Julian came home angry. He told me he’d lost a card game. At first, I didn’t realize how badly he’d lost.”