As Long As You Hate Me

by Carrie Aarons

  “Dinner is served.” Skylar waves his hand for us to move into the dining room.

  “Magazines, huh? Interesting. You so want to marry me.” Dean rubs a firm hand over my ass when my parents leave the room.

  “I am wearing your ring on my finger, asshat.” I shove an elbow in his stomach, but not hard enough to hurt.

  “Yeah, but you want so much more with me now. You want to kiss me, love me and marry me …” He sings the last sentence, just like one of my favorite scenes in Miss Congeniality.

  “I made you watch that movie too many times.” I roll my eyes, but I really did. We watched it for weeks straight because I was obsessed in high school.

  “It wasn’t that much of a struggle for me, Sandra Bullock is hot.”

  “Does she know you think about her?”

  “I told her on a red carpet once.” He waves his hand, as if it’s nothing.

  “Oh, of course, because that’s normal.” I have to laugh as I walk into the dining room, thinking about how weird his life has become.

  We sit down and thank Skylar for dinner, then dig in. He’s prepared a seared salmon with some kind of lemon sauce that melts on my tongue like butter. The fish is paired with whipped garlic mashed potatoes so creamy that I’d like to bathe in for the foreseeable future. The wine, the way the sunset is glinting off the water through the windows, just everything … it’s perfect. I look around the table at the people who have always meant the most to me, and it may sound corny, but I feel really blessed.

  “Do you remember the time I taught Dean how to carve a turkey?” Dad chuckles out of nowhere, and it’s surprising because usually my father is not the sentimental type.

  But I knew that he had a soft spot for Dean … see, if I loved something, Dad loved it too. He was never one to question my decisions or have an opinion if he thought I was happy. He just supported, helped in any way he could, and cajoled my mother when need be. It’s why I think he wasn’t saying anything about the engagement, why he’d never voiced any objection. Although … I know he would have liked to give his permission beforehand, and we hadn’t had time for Dean to do that.

  “Oh my lord, he almost chopped his entire hand off. Never let him do anymore cooking, Kara.” My mother shook her head, forking another bite of food into her mouth.

  “Thankfully he has Skylar, who is lightyears better than both of us anyway. But I can still whip up a mean chocolate death cake just like you taught me.” I winked at her.

  “I forgot about that Thanksgiving.” Dean looked over at me, a twinkle in his eye.

  Senior year of high school, my boyfriend at the time had spent pretty much every holiday with us. He was practically already family, and I don’t think my parents would have been shocked if he’d put a ring on my finger before I went off to college.

  “You two fought over the wishbone. Kara wanted to keep it intact, but Dean, you wanted to break it. And you let her win by allowing her to break the bigger piece.” Mom looks at Dean with admiration in her eyes.

  “You have always been good to and for our daughter. And I, for one, am happy that you two found your way back to each other.” My Dad picked up his wine glass, and he got me a little teary at the misty look in own eyes. “I want to propose a toast. To Kara and Dean … may life always bring you the happiest of moments together. We couldn’t be more proud to have you both in our lives.”

  Looking over at Mom, there are tears running down her cheeks. We all take a sip, the emotion clogging the room.

  “Thanks, Dad.” I smile a watery smile.

  Just as he’s about to speak, Dean’s phone starts to vibrate. “Jeez, I’m sorry.”

  He fumbles to silence it, but right as he’s about to address my parents again, his phone starts to buzz.

  “I’m so sorry, please excuse me.” Dean looks down at his phone again, a perplexed expression running over his face before he gets up and walks into the other room.

  Mom and Dad look at me, and I just shrug, not knowing what is going on.

  We finish up the meal in relative silence, with just a short conversation on how Mom’s sewing business is going on the Etsy page I set up for her. Dean walks in after about ten minutes, his expression one of shock, with a glazed smile passing over his lips.

  “What happened?” My heart suspends in my chest, not beating or moving while he’s silent.

  “The jury is going to find me not guilty. All of the charges are going to be dropped.” He plops down into his chair at the table, still not looking at us.

  “Are you serious?” Breathing ceases to be an activity.

  He nods. “Jason just called Patrick, who called me. We have to go back in for the announcement, but it’s just a formality. They didn’t believe a word of it after all of the testimony, especially Jason’s cross examination. And the fact that there were no marks on Hannah, or corroborating evidence. I’m free. It’s over.”

  Finally, those dark aqua eyes meet mine, and I jump straight out of my chair. He catches me, my body curling into his lap, as I ring my arms around his neck.

  “Oh, thank God!” I joke, tears springing to the corners of my eyes.

  I hadn’t realized just how much I’d been holding my breath for the last six days, waiting for his fate to be handed down. Waiting for our fate to be decided. My soul lifts, my skin tingles, everything in me wants to hold on to Dean for dear life and kiss him until my lips fall off.

  Suddenly, I’m being lifted and scooped into Mom’s arms, her tears soaking my hair as she hugs me. “Oh lord, thank you. I have been worried sick about this, and it just makes our visit that much better that we can be here for this news.”

  Looking over, Dad claps Dean on the back, the two men with huge sighs of relief written all over their faces. “We knew you weren’t guilty. I’m so glad that the jury could see that, too. Take this victory as a clean slate, your fresh start with my daughter.”

  Dean glances at me, the expression unreadable, but so big at the same time.

  Those three monumental words sit in the back of my throat, my heart on the verge of expressing them. Dean has said it to me, multiple times now. He’s never been shy or guarded about his feelings, and yet … something in me still hangs on to that last shred of preservation.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Dean

  The night that Kara’s parents board my private plane back to New Jersey, I surprised her with our own bags packed by the front door.

  For the past few months, we’d done nothing but work, fight, worry about the trial, and try to get back on track with what we were going to be. Now that some of that pressure had lifted, I wanted to take her away. Somewhere warm, where we could be alone with as little paparazzi intrusion as possible.

  When we’d touched down in Hawaii, I’d taken the blindfold I’d tied in front of her eyes off, revealing the perfectly blue ocean and white sand to her. I can’t say we also didn’t have fun on the flight, where she’d been without sight and I’d been all too aware of how much I could take advantage of that. Let’s just say, we were now members of the mile-high club. With VIP, multiple-orgasm, memberships.

  I’d spent the last two days showing Kara all of my favorite things about these magical islands. Boat trips, the Road to Hana, snorkeling among some of the most beautiful coral reefs in the world. I watched as her skin grew tanner, the way she jogged up the beach toward me, laying wet kisses all over my face, her mouth salty from the sea. She’d insisted on surfing, a pastime we’d enjoyed during all of the summers at the Jersey shore.

  And now we sat on our private porch, the kind that sat just feet above the water, our private suite of a hut lighted only by the full moon in the night sky.

  “I’m full, sunburned, satiated and happy. I think I could die now and be all right.” Kara sighs, her body sagging against me where she sits in my lap.

  I sway us, the large Adirondack rocker comfortable and warm. My body may be relaxed, but with her velvet skin pressing against every part of mine, I was als
o extremely aware of just how good she felt positioned in my lap.

  “Don’t die, I couldn’t go on. Seriously. Just be happy here with me.” I smack a big kiss on the side of her cheek.

  She laughs lightly. “Okay, fine. I guess I could become a glutton for your body in bed and the food served at the restaurant we went to tonight. Let’s just stay here forever. We don’t have to go back to real life, do we?”

  It sounded so tempting, especially because all of the problems that had been hanging over us were now resolved. Well … except for one, but I wasn’t getting into the contract right now. I’d ask her to shred it when we get back, ask to her stay with me because I loved her, and because I knew she loved me even if she was still too chicken to say it.

  “Hollywood isn’t really real life, anyway. We could get a place somewhere remote. Maybe the mountains in Washington. Or in Vermont.” I’m not really joking, even though we may be talking in fantasies.

  “Catch up on all of the lost time. I kind of like that idea.” Kara plays along.

  But it strikes a sad chord in me. “I’m sad I missed your college years. Your twenty first birthday, your graduation, your first day of work. I should have been there, Kara. Part of me wishes we could go back in time to relive all of those moments together.”

  Her hair floats on the breeze, the moon illuminating our porch overlooking the ocean. She lays her head on my shoulder. “And I wish I could have been there for your first album release. The first time you walked the red carpet at the Grammy’s. When you found out about your dad. I wish I could have been there, but in a way … we needed time to grow. Apart. We are different people than we were when we fell in love for the first time.”

  My heart knocks against my ribcage, and I hope she can’t feel it as I hold her in my arms. Although things between us have been incredible, I’ve told her I love her more times than I can count. And she hasn’t returned it once. That’s the closest she’s come, mentioning the first time we fell. Because maybe that means there is more than once, as in, right now.

  “As much hurt as we went through, I’m almost glad about it. Sure, I sobbed for years, hated you, was miserable. But I also had my own life. I achieved my goals and took myself out of my comfort zone because I had to. If I’d stayed with you, if I followed you here, who knows what I would have become. What we would have become.”

  I brush my lips to her temple. “So, you’re saying that, the time apart was good for us? I think I can get on board with that. You know, as long as we make up for all the lost time.”

  She must feel the smirk move across my lips that are pressed to her cheek, because she wiggles in my lap. “And what did you have in mind there, mister?”

  “Well, I never did get to see you drunk on your twenty first birthday. So, we could start with champagne. And maybe cover college spring break as well, because I wasn’t there to see you skinny dip.”

  “And who said I skinny dipped?” A grin spreads her luscious mouth.

  I gently tickle her side, my cock growing harder by the second. “Something tells me, from that smile, that I’ve guessed correctly, Miss O’Connor.”

  “That’s fiancée to you.” She pushes up, planting a wet kiss on my lips.

  My head spins, and the breezy Hawaii heat swamps me. “That’s it, baby. Get up and get out … of those clothes I mean. I’m taking you skinny dipping.”

  Hesitantly, Kara lets me pull her up, the water lapping at our private swim-up balcony. “But what if someone sees? Or gets a picture?”

  I pull down the shorts I’d been wearing, nothing covering me but the hair God put there. “That’s why we spend all of this money to come here. Privacy. And if not, I’ll pay someone off.”

  “You’re so cocky.” Kara shakes her head, but begins untying her sundress.

  I thrust my hips at her, my balls tightening when the straps slip from her shoulders. “Oh, I know, baby.”

  Chapter Forty

  Kara

  The noise his splash makes is almost non-existent, and I can’t help my mouth from watering over the image of his naked butt in the moonlight.

  “You going to come join me down here, chicken? Or actually, stay up there, this show is the best on earth.” Dean’s eyes heat as he takes in my naked body, still standing on the suite patio.

  I suck in a breath and leap, aiming for where he treads in the water. Expecting it to be freezing, I’m mildly surprised as I plunge in, the Hawaiian waters warm and refreshing even at almost midnight.

  “What if there are sharks in here?” I pop up, wrapping my arms around his neck.

  Our naked bodies press together, smooth and slick under the water. Dean’s cock presses at my opening, already solid as a steel pole. Everything in me flushes, my flesh becoming hot and tingles moving down my spine.

  “Baby, we’re going to do things that scare away all of the fish.” I see the devilish smirk before it disappears into the crook of my neck.

  His lips move expertly up and down the slim column of my jaw, biting and sucking as I writhe in his arms. He holds us both up as he treads, my heels digging into both firm globes of his ass. His cock is pressed right up against me, the swollen head hot and seeking its target of my core. My hands rake down his back as my nipples press to the smattering of hair on his chest, the roughness there scraping my peaked buds and eliciting moans from my throat.

  “You’re going to make me come like this.” I groan, my body growing weak in the water. “I’m going to sink us like a ship.”

  “I’ve got you, I’ve always got you.” Dean lifts his head, his eyes twinkling in the starlight, those pools the same color as the dark night ocean. “But I want to feel you come around my cock.”

  In one swift movement, he’s sheathed inside of me, his member pulsing as it hits the back of my walls.

  “Baby …” I sigh, the vibration of his growl emanating through my own chest.

  “We may drown, but there is no one I’d rather lose all air with.” Dean grips my ass, pulling it apart as my legs wrap around his waist.

  The sway of the waves is all we need to get the right friction, his rigid pole sending shocks through my system. I’m so close to slipping under, to succumbing to the riptide pulling my body into its fold.

  “God, Kara, you feel so fucking good.” Our flesh suctions together, the water pushing and pulling us in its grasp.

  My climax is held at bay, and then all at once overwhelming me. It invades every cell, my teeth biting into Dean’s neck as I struggle to have him fill more of me, reach even deeper.

  “That’s it, baby, I’m going down with you.”

  I feel his hips thrust up hard, all of his strength focused on holding me and bringing us to the highest possible orgasm. His growls die on my lips as he smashes our mouths together, and I feel like I’m spiraling, sinking down to the sandy floor below.

  We stay entwined this way, floating together on the surface of the water, until we can both catch our breath.

  But I’ll never catch my heart. Not now. Dean has run away with it.

  Or maybe he’s had it with him all along, it flew across the country the minute he left home all of those years ago. And I was just know realizing that.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Kara

  The scent of apple pie hits my nose as I walk into the kitchen, and my mouth waters as I get closer.

  Dean is in Seattle for the weekend, a concert that was scheduled a year ago taking him away from me for a few days. I could have gone, but I’d elected to stay home, instead taking some extra days at the hospital and private practice after missing some when we were in Hawaii. And secretly, I needed some alone time. Our short trip had been four of the most romantic days I’d ever had in my life, and my heart was dangerously close to exploding. I needed time to process, to really sit with my thoughts and weigh how I would move forward with Dean.

  Because it was clear now that we would be moving forward. That we’d ride this contract out, and at the end I would keep the ri
ng on. That thought makes my heart do a back handspring in my chest. Love … it moves through my veins for Dean like a drug. But I haven’t been able to express it yet, I wanted to be one hundred percent certain that there were no doubts in my mind.

  And then I’d been sitting by the beach, listening to music on my iPhone yesterday, and one of Dean’s favorite Radiohead songs came on. The lyrics, “there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt,” penetrated my heart, and I’d known. It was about time we were together, and when he came home, I was going to tell him how I felt.

  It was safe to say, even if he was home, that Dean had not baked the delicious heaven that was sitting on the white marble counter when I walked into the kitchen.

  “Skylar, you are a god.” My mouth watered as I got closer.

  “I know how you feel about apples, and wanted to make you a treat for your solitary girl’s night.” Our chef smiles, his friendly attitude making me feel instantly comfortable.

  He was one of the best things about LA, and had become a friend I’d been able to trust. It was just a bonus that he cooked all my favorite foods, including apple cobbler.

  “You just know the way to my heart. And it’s through my stomach, FYI. Please tell me—”

  “That I made you homemade vanilla ice cream? It’s in the freezer.” Skylar mock bows.

  “Oh my God, I could fucking kiss you right now.” I jog to the big stainless steel fridge/freezer combination and pull open the bottom drawer.

  “Your fiancé might not like that. Plus … you’re not really my type, no offense. I prefer redheads, it’s my vice.” Skylar shrugs while he packs up his bag, getting ready to leave for the night.

  “I’ll have to keep that in mind if I ever have a cute patient come through.” I point the spoon I’ve begun to dig into the ice cream at him, and then lick a big scoop of vanilla off of it.