A Wild Fright in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 7)

by Ann Charles

  His clench held steady, not tightening further but not loosening either.

  I breathed through the pain, like they’d taught me in birthing class. “You can trust this lawman because I’ve tested him and he passed.”

  “How did you test him?”

  I could hear the disbelief in her question.

  “He helped me kill a bone cruncher,” I told her.

  “Humans can’t kill bone crunchers, Executioner.”

  “Officially, I killed it, but he distracted it.” Sort of.

  Actually, Doc had distracted it, but Cooper had filled it with lead and done a great job of pissing off the ugly beast before I’d stepped in to keep it from ripping him to shreds.

  “You took a human with you to a kill?” Cooper’s grip on my leg loosened enough for me to rest easy again. “Such an inept hunter.” Her disgust was crystal clear. “It is unfortunate that your line of executioners was sent to finish the job mine started.”

  Yeah, well Prudence and her super-star relatives were all dead, while mine were still getting the job done, so she could take her high and mighty attitude and shove it. Although I hid that thought behind a grimace since Cooper’s fucking hand was still locked onto my leg.

  “You will avenge Wanda’s death, Executioner.” There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it in her mind apparently. “If you refuse to take up arms and do your duty, this lawman will die.”

  What? Was she threatening to kill him? “By whose hand?”

  “It is not in his power to complete the task.”

  I was afraid of that, but I doubted Cooper would listen to me or a dead woman when it came to facing off with Wanda’s killer. “I don’t know where to find the one who murdered Wanda,” I admitted.

  “You must set a trap. Any good hunter knows that.”

  “And use what for bait? Myself?”

  “You are not what they want.”

  “What do they want?”

  “I warned you to protect Wanda.”

  “Do you have any suggestions on finding the killer before she finds me?”

  “She? You speak as if you know who murdered Wanda.”

  “I might. She’s, as you say, one of the undead.”

  The first time Prudence had called Caly and her albino-like buddies that, I’d been confused. I’d figured she meant the human actors in a zombie wedding musical that was performed at the Opera House back in October. Today, I wasn’t confused.

  “She and I have faced off before,” I continued. “I believe she wants revenge.”

  “But revenge does not explain why Wanda was killed, nor why this house was searched after she had moved out.” Zelda’s mouth moved once or twice without sound coming out. I wondered if Prudence’s strength was beginning to weaken. Cooper’s hold on my leg certainly seemed to be.

  “I saw something on the visitor that night,” Prudence finally got out.

  “What?”

  “A tattoo—Half goat, half pig. It was the same tattoo worn by the men who murdered my family.”

  I knew that tattoo. Lila had the same one on her chest.

  “I know what they want,” I told Prudence, my understanding of the situation suddenly clear.

  “What?” Harvey beat Prudence to the punch.

  “The book.”

  “What book?” Prudence asked.

  “The book Lila was going to use to raise Kyrkozz the demon. She had it the night she died.”

  “Where is this book?” Prudence asked.

  “I have it.” Actually, Aunt Zoe had it now, since I’d given it to her. The text was written in Latin, and since my knowledge of that written language went only as far as Pig-Latin vernacular, I needed her help deciphering it.

  “That means Wanda’s death is even more your responsibility. You must avenge her, Executioner,” Prudence demanded.

  Prudence was right. If I hadn’t taken the book and hid it, Wanda might still be alive. “I will,” I told Prudence and meant it.

  “You will try,” she corrected. “When I release this lawman, tell him the answers he seeks can be found with the timekeeper.”

  Ms. Wolff? She’d been slain by one of Caly’s cohorts last month. “I already told you that Ms. Wolff is dead.”

  “There is more than one. Find the other.”

  Criminy! I hadn’t even known the first existed until it was too late. “How will I find the other?”

  “Must I do everything for you?”

  “Cut me some slack. I’m new at this, remember?”

  “I do not know what the other timekeeper’s disguise may be, but I can tell you that timekeepers reside close together in case one is eliminated. It is crucial the other maintain the time.”

  “What happens if the time isn’t maintained?”

  Zelda’s cheeks creased into a ghoulish smile. “All of Hell will break loose, of course.”

  All of Hell? What exactly was in Hell to break free besides Kyrkozz?

  With a blink, Zelda’s green eyes were back in place. “Oh dear, did I drop the pie?” she asked.

  “Harvey saved it.” I shot the old man a glare. “Were you paying attention to everything she said or were you too busy filling your pie-hole?”

  “She who?” Cooper asked from the couch cushion next to mine. “Who said what?”

  I looked at him, and then down at where his hand was still clutching my leg.

  His gaze dipped to his hand as well. It took him a second before he yanked his hand back like it had been burned. “What did you do to me, Parker?” He leapt up and put several feet between us, rubbing his forearm.

  “I didn’t do anything. You met Prudence.”

  “I did not.”

  “Yes, you did, and you lost the battle.”

  “What battle?” He grabbed his gun off the coffee table, aiming a squint at me as he stuffed it back into his holster.

  “The battle for control.” I reached down and pulled the hem of my skirt far enough up for him to see what I could feel—five reddish-purple marks clearly made by his fingers. “Who do you think did this to my leg, Cooper?”

  Zelda gasped. “Oh, my Lord. Did Prudence do that?”

  “Yeah, through him.”

  Cooper’s face paled again. I scooted further out of his reach in case Prudence wanted to get in one last squeeze before I left.

  “Did she tell you why she wanted you to come today?” Zelda collected the pie plates, clattering them onto the tray along with the pie.

  “Yes, she did.” And then some. I had a feeling the punishment she’d inflicted through Cooper’s hand was merely a taste of what she could do when angered. Why couldn’t my mentor be like Glinda, the Good Witch from the North with her pretty pink dress and sparkling crown? “Thank you for allowing us to come to your home and speak with her.”

  “The pie was delicious,” Harvey added, fishing pie crumbs out of his beard.

  A lot of help he was this afternoon. Next time I’d be better off bringing Elvis the chicken. At least she might try to peck at Cooper’s hand for me.

  I started to stand and dropped back onto the couch. A sharp pain from my thigh down held me immobile for a moment.

  Cooper reached out to help me up and I batted his hands away. “Don’t touch me. Just give me a moment to get some blood back into my lower leg.”

  I rubbed my thigh gingerly and stretched my calf. Then I stood, testing my weight on it. The pain eased to a dull ache as I limped toward the door. Harvey handed me my coat, careful to keep his distance. I didn’t blame him. Prudence didn’t play nice most days.

  “I’ll be in touch,” I told Zelda … or maybe not since “touching” in this house tended to come with a side effect of fear or pain or both.

  I followed Harvey out the door. Cooper brought up the rear, keeping his distance along with his silence all of the way out to our vehicles.

  As we neared my Honda, Harvey rubbed his belly. “You know, I could use a burger.”

  I scoffed. “After all of that pie?”
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br />   “The pie whet my appetite, and they were small pieces. Don’t you owe me a dinner?”

  I owed him several, as a matter of fact. I could use something to fill my stomach, too, since I’d skipped lunch. Comfort food beckoned after Prudence’s reprimand. “Bighorn Billy’s?”

  He nodded and rounded the front of the SUV.

  “Parker.” I could hear the weariness in Cooper’s voice. His battle with Prudence must have worn him down around the edges. The sharp-tongued detective who’d greeted me upon arrival was gone. “I need to know what happened in there.”

  I pulled open my door. “You want to join us, Detective?”

  “I can’t. I have a meeting this afternoon.”

  I searched his gaze, seeing the uncertainty and conflict behind his gray eyes. Damn it. The last thing I wanted to do was feel bad for Cooper, but here I was with my heart getting soft and melty. “How about you meet Doc and me at the Purple Door Saloon later tonight. We can talk more then.”

  He looked back toward the house with a frown etched deep into his face. “Okay.”

  I started to climb into my SUV, but he caught my arm, stopping me. “Violet,” he said and then seemed to realize his hand was touching me again and drew back. “I’m sorry about your leg.”

  “That wasn’t you, Cooper.”

  “It was my hand that did it.”

  “Maybe so, but Prudence was the one squeezing me with it.”

  “How?” He rubbed his hand down his face. “How did she do that?”

  “Doc can explain it better than I can.” I climbed inside my SUV. Without a backward glance, I hightailed it out of there before Prudence decided to sic Harvey on me next.

  Chapter Fifteen

  My visit with Prudence left me feeling like I was up to my hips in alligators. Not even the lucky alligator tooth necklace Zelda had given me was going to help me on this count.

  After a quiet, thought-filled lunch with Harvey at Bighorn Billy’s, I dropped him off at Cooper’s house and headed back to work. The afternoon was almost as slow as the morning, which I didn’t mind after chitchatting with a bossy ghost. It gave me time to think about her advice on using bait to lure Caly to me. That was if Wanda’s death really was her handiwork. The style of murder sure seemed like Caly’s, but the mention of that goat-pig tattoo had me scratching my head.

  “Vi,” Mona interrupted my cogitating. “Your phone is ringing.” She grabbed her purse and headed toward the bathroom.

  My phone? I looked at my desk phone. Then I heard the muffled ring coming from my purse. I’d forgotten to take my cell phone out when I returned to work.

  I answered it before the ringing stopped without taking the time to look at the number on the screen. “Hello?”

  “Violet, it’s Rosy.” When I didn’t make a sound, she added, “the camerawoman for Paranormal Realty.”

  “Yeah, sorry. You caught me off-guard. Is everything okay over there?” They were filming in Spearfish today if I remembered correctly. I’d sort of forgotten the details Ben had mentioned this morning because of Prudence’s big fat guilt bomb.

  “Yeah, we’re fine. Nothing crazy like what you and I saw the other day.”

  What? Nobody else was being haunted by psychotic little girl ghosts or their clown dolls? No fair!

  “That’s uh …” Rosy lowered her voice. “That’s why I’m calling.”

  “Let me guess, Dickie wants to know all about Wilda?”

  “Actually, I haven’t shown him the footage.” I heard muffled sounds from her end of the line like she was partially covering the speaker, or maybe just cupping her phone. “I haven’t shown anyone besides you and Cornelius.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’ve been thinking about it all. A lot.”

  Her too? I waited to hear her take on the insanity that was my life.

  “If I show this piece with the ghost girl to anyone on the crew, they’ll want to put it on the air and anywhere else they can place the segment, using you to increase their own celebrity status and bank accounts. Your life as you know it will be over. I’ve seen it happen before with other reality television shows, and with the train of fame comes a lot of bad baggage, including long-lasting notoriety.”

  She confirmed the worries that had had me chewing my knuckles off and on since I’d seen the replay of Wilda and me. I had plenty of notoriety around this town already. The thought of it being on a world-wide scale made me want to build an underground bunker for me and my kids to live in for a few years.

  “What are you going to do?” I asked her.

  “It’s not what I’m going to do, it’s what I’ve done.” Again, more muffled sounds. “I deleted that segment.”

  Breathing a sigh of relief, I leaned back in my chair. “Won’t this cause some problems? They’re going to be looking for that piece with Cornelius and me, aren’t they?”

  “I told Honey and Rad that the footage just disappeared, like what happened that day I filmed up in that beautiful house in Lead. Honey wasn’t surprised. She said that happened to her when she was there with Dickie and you.”

  Actually I had been the one who erased the footage on Honey’s camera that day after Prudence left me a message using Honey as her puppet. But as far as everyone else was concerned, that was the ghost’s doing.

  “Thank you, Rosy.”

  “I like you, Violet. You make me laugh. I don’t want to see you or your family’s lives screwed up because of something I filmed. I couldn’t live with myself for that.”

  “How can I pay you back?”

  “I’ll need to film you and Cornelius reading your lines for that segment again. However, I suggest we set up somewhere less likely to have that little girl ghost running around.”

  “Let me talk to Cornelius and we’ll come up with a safe location.” Although, if Wilda were truly tethered to him, that might not be doable.

  “That sounds good.”

  I heard the bathroom door open behind me. I tried to act normal as Mona returned to her desk. When she looked at me with raised brows, I gave her a thumbs up.

  “There is one other favor I need,” Rosy said.

  “What’s that?”

  “I want to buy a house.”

  * * *

  It turned out that Rosy didn’t want to buy just any house, she wanted to buy Cooper’s place. Somehow in the midst of trying to lasso the paranormal chaos stampeding around me, I had roped a buyer for one of my own properties.

  This was my second time representing both the buyer and seller on a sale. I’d learned how to walk that particular fence with the Carhart house sale, so now it was a matter of seeing if Cooper liked what Rosy wanted to offer while not playing favorites.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon working on the offer paperwork for Rosy in between pinching myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I stayed late at the office to wait for her to return from the filming in Spearfish. After thanking me for hanging around for her, Rosy told me she’d be in touch soon about the house and took off.

  Ten minutes later, I shut down my computer and headed home. When I pulled into the drive, the sky was beginning to spit out wet, heavy snowflakes here and there. Nothing serious, merely a few threats from the thick, dark clouds above. My fingers were crossed we’d get the few inches they’d mentioned on the news and not the multiple surprising feet that often buried the hills for days on end.

  Harvey’s truck was parked in the drive, but there was no sign of Doc. Were he and the kids still doing their so-called exercising at the Rec Center? If so, it was a long exercise session.

  I hurried through the cold wet stuff falling from the sky and closed the front door behind me, leaning against it. I’d lived through another day at the office without coming unhinged. Life was looking up.

  “Who are you trying to keep out?” Harvey asked from the archway into the kitchen. He had a cookie in each hand, and another in his mouth from the muffled sound of it.

  “The boogeyman.”

 
; He swallowed. “I think yer gonna need to put on more weight to pull that off.”

  I heard a squeal of anger from Addy upstairs. So the kids were home, but not Doc. He must have had somewhere to go. “Did Doc come inside or just drop the kids off?”

  “He cooled his heels long enough to say he’d see you later at the Purple Door Saloon.” I’d texted him earlier about meeting Cooper there with me tonight, so we were apparently still on.

  Harvey continued, “Yer gonna tell him and Coop about what Prudence said, right?”

  “Sure.” Some of it, anyway. I hadn’t decided on how to share the piece about it needing to be me who hunted down Wanda’s killer.

  “All of it?”

  Avoiding his heavy-browed squint, I took off my coat and tossed it over the stair banister to dry. “Didn’t we go over this at lunch?”

  “Yep. You were slippery ‘bout it then, too.”

  “Where’s Aunt Zoe?” She’d offered to hang with the kids tonight, wanting to take a break from working her hiney off in her shop.

  “She went to the store. Said she’d bring home supper.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Yer avoidin’ my question.”

  “Not avoiding, just pondering.”

  “How long will this ponderin’ last?”

  I shrugged. “Until I figure out the right time to bring it up.” I headed upstairs but paused two steps up and looked over the railing at him. “Remember our agreement at lunch.”

  I was referring to the one where I’d promised not to tell Coop that Harvey had broken his couch during a raucous evening with one of his old flames in exchange for the old buzzard not interfering with my telling his nephew that finding Wanda’s killer was my job, not his.

  He scowled at me. “It’s feelin’ more like blackmail to me already.” He shoved one of the cookies in his mouth and headed into the kitchen.

  By the time I made it back downstairs, Aunt Zoe was home. She and the kids were eating pizza in the living room while queuing up a National Geographic special on the boob-tube. The kids smelled clean when I kissed the tops of their heads. They must have gone swimming in the Rec Center’s pool.

  “How was your exercising?”

  “Really cool,” Layne said, his face lighting up.