Desert Trading Post

by Marilyn Foxworthy

  I whispered, “I know. But I know what to do. It has to be like your mom and Milly. Jeannie, Sweetie, I love you.”

  She looked up for an instant in disbelief and said, “You do? That would make it so much easier, right? If you love me, since I have this disease and you can’t ever leave me again, that would make it so much easier.”

  I said, “I do love you. And so does Courtney. It’s going to be weird, but I’m your husband now. And I’m going to give you a wedding ring and a bellybutton gem, just like your sister, and I am going to have a bracelet on your ankle that won’t ever come off. I’m taking you to Las Vegas and we’re going to get married. Just like me and Courtney”

  She nuzzled my chest and whispered, “I guess we have to, don’t we? It’s the only way, isn’t it? I guess it won’t be bad giving up my life in New York. It’ll be OK. It’s a blessing in a way, isn’t it? Finding each other, even if there was nothing we could do about it? Can I sit on your lap sometimes?”

  That was an odd question, but I said, “Of course. You can always sit on my lap. That will be really nice.”

  By now, she had settled down quite a bit. She had stopped crying for the most part.

  She loosened her grip on me and said, “I have to go to the bathroom and freshen up. I’ll be right back,” and she ran into the house.

  Unlike Courtney, who really couldn’t be apart from me, Jett’s condition was one of convenience and could be set aside anytime she forgot about it.

  I sat down in a place waiting for me at the table and took a plate and some food. Dan was the first to speak.

  He said, “So…?”

  I said, “Well, Jett is in love with me and I’m in love with her. Courtney loves Jett and Jett needs us. So, Jett will be with us. You told me that we have your blessing. It really is best for all of us, you and Dotty included.”

  Milly held out her hand and said, “I’m Milly by the way.”

  I smiled and said, “I’m very happy to meet you, Mom.”

  Milly grinned and said, “Oh, I guess so. Um, sort of. Dan, is that true? We haven’t talked about much. But you kids can call me what you want to.”

  I said, “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m giving Jett a wedding ring and we’re going to Vegas and having what looks exactly like a wedding, but without a marriage license. The chapel will give us a commitment certificate and that will be what we hang on our wall. And Courtney is writing up kind of a contract that will spell out how our property and other rights work and I’ll make it legal in my will. I’m not even going to negotiate with you or anyone else about any of this. It is what it is and none of us will call it anything else. Except Jett. We are going to let her keep telling her screwy version of the truth and we aren’t going to call her on most of it. We know she’s lying, but she may not. Ignore the fact that she can’t ever be out of my sight because of her disorder, but just left for several minutes and appears to be just fine.”

  At that moment, Jett came back and sat in the empty chair that I made sure was beside me. Courtney sat on my other side, at my right.

  Jett took a breath and said, “Well, I suppose that explanations are in order.”

  Dotty said, “Oh, you don’t have to explain, Jett. We can see that something is wrong, but we’re sure it will all be fine in the end. You and I talked for a long time last night, and I could see that you were starting to show signs of your condition even then. It must be very painful. I miss your dad terribly when he’s away, and this must be a million times worse. I think that we can all understand.”

  Jett said, “Thank you, Momma. That’s really comforting. But I still think that I should explain some things.”

  Dan said, “Of course. If you want to. But Bug, I’ll support whatever we need to for you to be happy. Don’t be afraid about me not understanding.”

  Jett said, “Thank you, Daddy.”

  I noticed that Jett was now calling her parents “Momma” and “Daddy”, instead of “Mom” and “Dad”.

  Dan said, “Milly, do you understand what’s going on here? If not, you and Dotty and I can go talk for a while in private.”

  Milly smiled broadly and said, “Oh, no. I understand exactly what Jett is going through. She said it herself, I have the same genetic condition, but until I got here, it was painful but manageable. Now that I’m here, I may not be able to be away from Dan for an instant either.”

  Dotty said, “Um, but it’s worst for Courtney. Hers is um…well, because of her…because it’s mixed up with other issues,”

  Jett said, “Aunt Milly, Momma is trying to say that to you and me it might feel really bad if we are apart from Dave and Daddy, and it might be painful and scary, or whatever, but for Courtney, it is worse and she really can’t ever ever ever be out of his sight. We don’t know why. But it is what it is and we will be compassionate about it and take care of her no matter what. There really isn’t that much information available about PDD, and we are just now discovering how it affects different individuals and how to manage the effects. I hate to say this, but Courtney says to be honest, and I think it’s important for her sake. Courtney has PDD, but I suspect that because of trauma that she has experienced over the past five years or so, there may be emotional issues involved as well. There’s no shame in that. I’ll help her. I’m very thankful that I don’t have any issues like that, but even if I did, you guys would love me and treat me with respect and not like a freak, and I love that about you. That was one thing that I am learning about Dave and what makes this bearable for me: that he understands and loves Kitty and he’ll be kind to me, even though I don’t have the same problems that she does. Oh, Courtney, I didn’t mean that! You’re fine. I love you!”

  Courtney smiled and said, “It’s OK Jett. We all have our issues. I love you too.”

  Jett said, “So, here’s the hard part, from the research I’ve done. Don’t freak out. It just is what it is and we have to adapt. Dad, you already figured this out; I don’t know, maybe it affects the men as well. I guess it must. You must have sensed that Milly was in trouble and her condition was getting worse, so you made her come right away. That’s probably why Dave brought Courtney here. They might have thought that it was just a visit, but I think that he sensed that he had to come because my dormant condition was about to become critical. The world is more mysterious than we admit sometimes.”

  Again, Jett was making most of his up, but in some ways, she wasn’t wrong at all.

  Dan tried to suppress a grin as he asked, “So, Bug, what are you going to do about you and Dave? And Courtney? What’s going to happen?”

  Jett sighed and said, “Well, I’m afraid that Courtney, I’m so sorry, Sis, but Courtney, I’m going to have to live with you and Dave. We can work out the details and I’ll be as discreet as the situation allows, but I’m going to have to sleep in the same bed and even shower with the two of you. I’m so sorry.”

  Courtney smiled and said, “But Jett, what if we just have you and Dave get married, just like Dave and me? Like a handful of Jellybeans? I don’t see any other way.”

  Jett frowned and said, “Married? If you are OK with that, I think it would make things so much easier. I think Dave has a plan and if that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.”

  Courtney leaned forward so that she looked straight at Jett and said, “But Jett, will that make you happy?”

  Jett looked like she’d been hit by a brick. She closed her eyes and slumped down in her chair.

  She said out loud to herself, “Will that make me happy? Will I be happy?” Then a little louder, “Courtney, I don’t know. But I want to take the chance.” She opened her eyes and continued, “I’m not happy in New York or Toronto. Courtney, the emptiness I feel without Dave makes me happy. That sounds weird, but it’s like for the first time in my life feeling hungry. And if I feel happy to be hungry for the first time, how happy will I be when I get filled by him.”

  She must have embarrassed herself suddenly and said, “No, I mean,
um, well, that could have sounded like I was thinking about sex and penises and stuff, but I wasn’t. I meant what if my emptiness gets a place to live?”

  She paused and looked at Courtney and said, “Courtney, what’s a lap dance?”

  Courtney laughed and said, “Um, well, I never did them, but now that you bring it up, maybe they sound like more fun than I realized, if it’s with Dave, anyway.”

  Jett said, “But what is it?”

  Courtney said, “Well, Dave sits in a chair…I assume we’re talking about Dave, right?”

  Jett said, “Of course we are! Geez!”

  Dotty said, “I’ll take this one, Kitty. Jett, I’ve danced with your Dad that way many times. And should probably do it more often than I do. Anyway, you can have your clothes on or off and so can he, and he sits down in a chair or on the sofa or wherever, and you just dance on his lap, rubbing yourself on him. It’s not complicated. You can straddle him, facing him or facing away, like you’re sitting on his lap, and do whatever feels good. But you are trying to make him get excited. There are no rules that I know of. You just move like you want to, like dancing together.”

  Jett said, “Oh. OK. That sounds pretty easy.”

  Courtney said, “Jett, will it make you happy?”

  Jett said, “It sounds fun. I’d like to try it.”

  Courtney grunted and said, “No Dork! Being married to Dave and me too? You weirdo!”

  Jett smiled and said, “How else am I supposed to learn about lap dances? You’re the weirdo!”

  Dan said, “Milly, shall we go to Vegas with them, and we can do the same thing?”

  Milly said, “Can I change my name?”

  Dan said, “To Milly Hammersmith? You bet! Wow. That would make it real, now wouldn’t it?”

  Milly said, “Oh. Um, I meant something like Milly Filly Loves Dan’s Willy, but I guess Milly Hammersmith would be OK, too.”

  Jett said, “Um, so everyone understands? About me and Dave and Courtney?”

  I said, “I just need one little clarification before we’re all settled. One minor point that I need to be clear on.”

  Courtney said, “What’s that, Sweetie?”

  I said, “Jett, you are going to have sex with me, right? Make love and all? Like an actual married couple? I kind of just want to know what to expect, based on some of what you’ve said to me about dragon tattoos and things like that. We’re having sex, right? Normal sex?”

  Jett looked embarrassed, and said, “As normal as you want. I said some things I shouldn’t have. Um, but now, yeah, I have empty things and I kind of want to find out what it will be like to fill them up with you. I tell lies sometimes. I guess I should quit that.”

  Courtney said, “You sleep on the couch until you do.”

  Jett said, “What?”

  I gave Courtney a look and she said, “Never mind. Wait. No. Never mind that never mind. Jett, you need to quit lying. Until you show me that you can tell the truth, you will sleep on the couch. You can sleep in our room, but on the couch.”

  Jett said, “Courtney! Would you really do that to me? I guess I sort of deserve it, but what if I can’t do it? What if I don’t even know I’m lying?”

  Courtney said, “Dave told us that we were all going to let you keep lying, because he loves you that much, but you aren’t going to lie to me anymore, or you sleep on the couch. And that’s the truth.”

  Jett said, “OK. You mean right now? You want me to spill all my beans right now? OK. First, yes, it will make me happy. I love Dave and…wow! Shit! That felt weird. Um, I love Dave and I am very happy and I’m getting happier every minute. Oh! Um, I’ve never been to New York. I made that up. I just go stay at a friend’s house. Oh shit! Um, I’ve never been to Toronto either. I don’t have a boyfriend and…oh crap! I think Dave’s penis is really beautiful. I said it wasn’t but it is!”

  Jett started to tremble visibly and she fidgeted constantly in her chair. Her hands were on the top of the table and it looked like she was holding them there deliberately, as if they would go somewhere else if she didn’t.

  Dotty said, “Jett, it’s OK. Kitty meant in general, not that you have to do it right now.”

  Jett said, “No! I um, I need to. Oh yeah, I really need to! Shit! Anyway, I don’t have a boyfriend and I never have. I go on dates, but never seriously.”

  Her voice was rising as she went on, “I’m not a model. I don’t have a tattoo. I don’t want one. What I want is to dye my pubic hair like Courtney does! Oh, hell. This feels…what else? Daddy, I love you. I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible daughter.”

  Dan said, “Bug, you aren’t a terrible daughter at all.”

  Jett was wide-eyed and unblinking and nearly yelling each time she opened her mouth.

  She said, “Wasn’t I? Thank you. But I’m sorry I made up stories and was a bitch. I was such a bitch! What else. No! Don’t stop me! This feels…”

  I said, “How does it feel, Jett?”

  She yelled, “Shit! Courtney, I know why you do this. Why you tell the truth. My gosh! I had no idea! OK OK! Um, Oh! I’m a virgin! And um, I wanted to fuck Dave the moment I saw him. I wanted to sneak into his room and see if I could get him to have sex with me and think it was Courtney and he’d never know. But I wanted him.”

  Dotty said, “Jett, maybe you should save some of that for later and tell Dave and Kitty in private.”

  Jett yelled, “No! I’m so close!”

  Milly said, “Close to what?”

  Courtney laughed and said, “Close to getting herself off. Jett, how long has it been since you had an orgasm? Do you masturbate?”

  Jett yelled, “Not often enough! Maybe once a month. The last time was I don’t know, a long time ago! This is amazing. I actually want it. Sex is great! I never knew this. Shit, it’s like I feel really ready for sex and stuff. I’m so close. What else can I tell the truth about? I said I love Dave, right? And that I want him to fuck me and teach me to be his wife and all about sex and fucking and not wearing panties? Oh, OK, that’s something. I only buy stupid underwear and I planned on being an old maid because nobody wants me and I was abandoned and you adopted me, but I’m not wearing any right now and I didn’t even know why and I hate wearing black all the time and I want to be a real girl and I’m afraid that Dave doesn’t love me even though he says he does and Courtney is going to hate me because I’m in love with her husband and if I take that job at that restaurant place I’ll get fired the first day and no one will ever love me ever because I was thrown away!”

  Dan looked at me and said, “I can’t stand to see her like this. I’m going to close my eyes and put my fingers in my ears. Dave, touch the poor girl before she has a breakdown. Please.”

  Dan did exactly what he said, and I turned to Jett. I put my left hand behind her head and my right hand on her leg, and I pulled her toward me to kiss her. As our lips met, and she opened her mouth wide as if she were opening a door to a lover she that hadn’t seen for far too long, I slid my hand up her thigh, under her skirt. Rolling inward toward the space between her legs as I kissed her, Jett moaned and her legs went wide as well. Her pelvis reached forward for my hand and her moist flesh hit my fingers. She had told the truth: she wasn’t wearing underwear. Yes, she was very close to orgasm already. Her truth-telling had been freeing and erotic, and she was wet and ready to be touched. It was a wonder that she hadn’t started touching herself long before I got to her. I was sure that the skirt that she was wearing would have a large wet spot when she stood up.

  I clamped my mouth hard over hers and licked the inside of her mouth as I applied very gentle pressure to each side of Jett’s tender virgin clitoris. Jett convulsed hard and screamed, much of the sound going down my throat, thankfully. She reached down and forced my hand more firmly against her mound and I felt what must have been the most violent climax of her life.

  Chapter 25 - Moving In

  Dan whispered, “Is she OK?”

  Dotty patted his arm and said, “Bet
ter than ever, I think.”

  He said, “Is it weird that knowing that my girls are enjoying themselves like that makes me happy?”

  Dotty said, “Not at all, Dear. We all want them to have as much joy as they possibly can.”

  Dan said, “Do I open my eyes now?”

  Dotty said, “Not just yet.”

  I kissed Jett more tenderly and moved my hand away from her vulva and rested it on the top of her high, near her waist, under her skirt. I laid her head on my shoulder and held her for a moment.

  Courtney said quietly, “Jett, that was beautiful. We love you, Sweetie.”

  Dotty whispered, “Dan, I think you can open your eyes now.”

  Dan opened his eyes and smiled sympathetically at his younger daughter.

  Jett stood up and pushed my chair backward to make room and then sat in my lap with her head on my shoulder and her arm around my neck.

  She said, “Momma, you said we could always talk to you and Daddy about sex if we wanted to.”

  Dotty said, “Of course, Dear. Always.”

  Jett smiled and said, “I like it.”

  Dotty said, “Sweetie, I just want to know, how many orgasms did you have?”

  Jett said, “Oh I had one alright!”

  Dotty said, “I know, Dear, but how many?”

  Jett said, “What do you mean. I had one and it was better than ever by a billion times. Do you mean how many did I have before? In my whole life? I don’t know. Maybe 20. No, I meant 100. Um, no, I can’t lie or I have to sleep on the sofa. I probably had 20. That was the first time I ever felt really good about it and really really liked it, even afterward. And the first time I let a guy touch me.”

  Dotty said, “Oh, did you used to feel guilty afterward?”

  Jett said, “Well, you always told us not to feel bad about it, but I kind of did. I don’t know why. But not now. Oh, is that why people say ‘fuck’ like it’s bad? Because they feel like it is bad? Or that people shouldn’t do it? But they all want to. So why use it like swearing? I can see using ‘shit’ like that because nobody wants a bag of shit, but why would you say fuck when you swear?”