Everything I Have (The Everything Series Book 2)

by A. K. Evans

“Ok.” I agreed.

  The both of us looked at the screen on the phone. I started counting and just before I got to three I felt (and saw) Zane’s lips go to the top of my head where he kissed me. Instinctively, my hands came up and wrapped around his forearm that was holding me and I closed my eyes. I heard the click of the camera. I opened my eyes and turned my head against his chest to look up at him. I saw his sparkling eyes looking down at me.

  “What was that about?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “I thought it would make for a great picture.”

  I gave him a look that told him I thought he was full of himself.

  “Come on, let’s look at it,” he said.

  He went to the camera roll on my phone and pulled up the picture he’d just captured. I wanted to cry at what I saw. I loved it. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought we were a happy couple that was madly in love. Of course, I knew this wasn’t the case, but that didn’t mean I didn’t wish it were true and that my life were different.

  Zane tapped on the screen in an attempt to text the picture to himself.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  He started typing his name, pressing the Z first and nothing came up. This was because, unbeknownst to him, I hadn’t saved him in my phone as Zane.

  “Damn, Em. You didn’t even save me in your contacts? I’m feeling pretty wounded now.”

  “You are saved in my phone, Zane.”

  “Just started typing my name and it’s not coming up.”

  I looked away and mumbled, “That’s because you aren’t saved under your real name.”

  Zane took two fingers to my jaw and turned my head toward his face. A sexy grin spread across his face and he asked, “So tell me, sweetheart, what name am I saved under?”

  I stayed silent and stared at him. He was going to gloat. And I, well, I was going to be thoroughly embarrassed. He stayed silent and stared at me, daring me to try to hold out. He wasn’t going to budge. He cocked an eyebrow at me. We stood staring at each other for easily a solid three minutes before I eventually gave in.

  “Ugh, fine. You can find it under Barry,” I said. “Now, can I have my phone?”

  “Barry?” he asked, completely confused.

  I nodded and attempted to grab the phone from his hands. He pulled the phone away and hit the screen with his fingers. I knew the moment he found it because initially his eyes rounded, which was likely due to the shock that I had actually saved him under what I saved him under, but then his expression grew smug. Fuck.

  “Sex Bomb Barry?” he asked.

  Mortified, I said nothing.

  “Sweetheart, you’ve got to help me out here. I mean, more than half of this name is self-explanatory. I get it. But Barry? What the hell is that about?”

  I stared at him utterly shocked.

  “Barry White,” I simply said.

  “The singer?”

  I nodded.

  He still stared at me in confusion. How could he not get this?

  “Not following you, Emme.”

  “Seriously, Zane? Have you heard your voice?” I asked, disbelievingly. “It’s panty-melting.”

  My hand flew to my mouth and my eyes rounded realizing I had just said that out loud. “Please tell me I did not just admit that,” I begged.

  Zane threw his head back as he roared with laughter. He really, really laughed for a long time. When he finally settled down, he looked at me with shining, smiling eyes and I was certain I liquefied on the spot.

  I’m not sure if he was trying to be a gentleman and not embarrass me any further or if it was something else, but he just asked, “You ready to go?”

  I let out a breath and nodded. I put my camera backpack on and we got back on the snowmobile. Before we took off Zane said, “Going to head back to the truck. If you see something along the way and want to stop just let me know.”

  “Ok.”

  With that we were off and on our way back to the truck. I held on to Zane and replayed the day in my head. It was the most carefree I had been in a very long time and I had Zane to thank for that. Christmas was wonderful, but this blew it out of the water. Other than the awkwardness of the phone situation I had just experienced (and I still wasn’t sure how Zane felt about all of that) it had been an incredibly perfect day.

  We finally got back to the truck. Zane unlocked it, helped me in, turned it on, and then went back to the trailer to load the snowmobile. After, he got in the truck and pulled out of the lot. We had been driving in silence for a good fifteen minutes when I began to worry. The day had gone so well and now I felt an awkward tension. I wanted to say something, but I was worried I’d lose it if I did. I had experienced enough embarrassment for one day. Unfortunately, as time passed I grew more and more worried and my emotions got the best of me. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and despite my efforts to blink them away the tears spilled down my cheeks.

  It was at that moment Zane pulled over on the side of the road. He put the truck in park and turned in his seat to look at me.

  “Talk to me, Emme.”

  I looked away. He turned my head, as he always did, back to face him.

  “Tell me what’s wrong?” he encouraged.

  “I’m sorry, Zane. I didn’t mean to offend you. I never would have intentionally done something to upset you. I know that doesn’t lead to good things.”

  His brows drew together and he said, “Offend me? Why do you think you’ve offended me?”

  “Because of what I named you in my phone. I thought you were ok with it because you were laughing, but then you didn’t say anything about it and we just left. And I’m fine with leaving. It’s been a long, wonderful day, but now you aren’t talking to me. I just thought that maybe I offended you with that. I can change it to Zane. I’m really sorry.”

  “Sweetheart, don’t fucking apologize for that shit. I think it’s fucking adorable that you, cute and sweet Emme, actually gave me a nickname like that and then hid it from me in your phone. I’m not the least bit offended by it and if you change my name in your phone I’m going to be pissed at you.”

  I sat, staring at him, dumbfounded.

  “I don’t understand, Zane. Why are you so quiet now? Is it something else I did?”

  He grinned at me and gave me a wink before he said, “Emme, I’m just trying to keep your panties intact, at least until we are somewhere that I can do something about it.”

  At that, I burst out laughing.

  Chapter 7

  Emme

  “It smells absolutely fucking amazing in here right now, Emme.”

  I was currently in Zane’s kitchen, also known as my dream kitchen, and dinner was in the oven. We had gotten back to his house about an hour and a half ago. I chose to keep the clothes Zane brought to me that morning on, except for the outer layers. So now, I was standing in a pair of black leggings and a long-sleeved form fitting charcoal gray shirt and was in the process of making dessert so that I could put it in the oven as soon as dinner was finished. Zane had a double oven, but I wasn’t going to spoil myself in this kitchen just yet. I’d just be disappointed when I had to go back to using a single oven.

  “Thanks. The lasagna needs about ten more minutes in the oven and then another ten when it comes out,” I answered. I made my spinach and mushroom lasagna. I didn’t know prior to today where we were going, but Zane did tell me to dress warm. For me, any time I spent a day in the cold there was nothing like some comfort food to warm you up. I just hoped Zane would enjoy it.

  “What is this?” he asked as he stuck his hand into the bowl I had in front of me, pulled out an apple, and popped it in his mouth.

  “It’s dessert. This,” I said gesturing to the bowl, “is the filling for my apple crumb pie.”

  “Well it’s not even baked yet and it tastes awesome.”

  “If you think it’s good like that, just wait until it’s warm out of the oven and we put some vanilla frozen yogurt on top of it,” I teased, as I poured the filling into
the crust.

  “Looking forward to it,” he said as he winked at me.

  Zane poured some wine while I finished putting the crumb topping on the apple pie. I pulled the lasagna out of the oven and quickly closed the door. The olive oil and rosemary biscuits I made needed another couple minutes in the oven. The two of us set the table together while we waited. I brought the lasagna dish over to the dining room table and cut it. I served the first pieces for each of us, setting two on Zane’s plate and one on mine. I had already plated our salads while the lasagna was cooking. Finally, the biscuits had finished so I pulled them out of the oven and popped the apple pie in. I brought the biscuits over to the table and sat with Zane.

  He held up his glass of wine and asked, “So what should we toast to?”

  I picked up my glass and suggested, “New friendships?”

  Zane thought a moment and conceded, “Alright, Emme, I’ll give you that. To new friendships.”

  I quickly chimed in, “And dream kitchens!”

  He laughed and said, “And dream kitchens.”

  After our toast, we ate. Zane couldn’t compliment me enough on the food and actually went in for a third piece of the lasagna. The biscuits were a hit with him as well. I loved it. It felt so good to have someone to cook for, even for just one night, that thoroughly enjoyed the food I made. For the last ten months, the only person other than myself that I cooked for was Charley. It just wasn’t the same, though. Zane really appreciated my food and that made my heart swell.

  “So, as it turns out it looks as though I’ll be getting lucky,” he said.

  I dropped my fork and looked up at him, scared. “Excuse me?”

  He chuckled and said, “Relax, Emme. Wes called and left me a message earlier today while we were out. Apparently, your girls are coming from California on Friday to spend this weekend celebrating the holiday. Said he talked to Charley about it and the two of them wanted all of us to go snowboarding on Friday, followed by dinner. New Year’s Eve celebration will be on Saturday at Lou’s followed by New Year’s Day celebration at Wes’ place on Sunday. I’m thinking I’m pretty lucky considering I thought it’d be a couple weeks before I’d get to see you again.”

  The smile on my face was huge. Nikki and Monroe were coming back out to visit. I couldn’t wait. Of course, the promise of seeing Zane three days in a row added to the excitement. I’d just have to distance myself a bit from him so that nobody got the wrong idea. The thought saddened me.

  “Happy to sad in about ten seconds. What’s that about, Em?” he asked.

  “I’m sorry. I am excited. I haven’t seen the girls in a while and I miss them, so I’m super thrilled and very much looking forward to seeing them again.”

  “Damn it. I thought that smile a few seconds ago was because you realized you’d get to hear my panty-melting voice and see my sex-bomb face three days in a row.”

  I shook my head at him. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

  “Not for a while. It was a huge ego boost for me.”

  “Oh, please. I don’t, for one second, believe that I’m the first to have said something like that to you. You can’t be surprised by it.”

  “No, Emme. I won’t lie to you. You aren’t the first to hint that I’m good looking, but the whole ‘panty-melting voice’ is news to me. Still, even if I had heard that before the ego boost comes more from the fact that it was you who thought it, not someone else.”

  I looked away.

  He put his hand to my jaw and turned my face to his. “Don’t be embarrassed. I’m teasing you about it, but it’s mostly because I’m hoping to change your mind on this whole ‘friendship only’ decision you’ve made. Knowing I’ve got some things in my favor is encouraging. I’m just making sure you don’t forget them.”

  His eyes searched my face before he asked, “So, you are happy your friends are coming to visit. Why the sad face a few minutes ago?”

  I closed my eyes and let out a breath. When I opened them again, I said, “Because despite what you might think I am not only looking forward to seeing them and spending time with them, but I’m also looking forward to seeing you. The problem is I don’t want any of them getting the wrong impression. I don’t want them thinking there is more to this than there is. They’ll get their hopes up and I’ll just disappoint them. I haven’t told any of them about us spending the day together today for this very reason.”

  His jaw clenched and his eyebrows drew together. “Am I understanding this correctly? You want to keep our friendship a secret?” he asked.

  “No, not at all. I just don’t want the pressure to date somebody coming from them and that’s exactly what will happen. I talked to Monroe on Christmas. She’s the only one who knows that you spent the day with me and took me to meet your parents and even her reaction to that tells me that they’d all push for us to get together. Charley knows we spent Christmas together, but she has no idea we went to your parents’ house.”

  “If they’d all be pushing for us to get together, I’m beginning to think telling them is a great idea.”

  “Zane, please. I’m begging you not to tell them about today.”

  “Why not, Emme?”

  “Because they’ll not only be happy for me, but because they will also want to know the details of today. And that means I’ll have to tell them the truth.”

  “Which is?”

  I took in a deep breath and admitted, “That it was perfect. That it was the best day I’ve had in years. And that it was so wonderful that I wished I could have the happiness I felt today every single day for the rest of my life.”

  “What makes you think you can’t?”

  I looked away as I felt my nose stinging and my throat getting tight. “Because I can’t. Not anymore.”

  “I hope you don’t really believe that, Em. I don’t know what you are scared of or what you’ve been through, but I know it’s bad enough that I see that pain in your eyes a lot and that you have had some pretty bad nightmares. I won’t say anything to your girls, but sweetheart, don’t live your life being unhappy.”

  “I will be happy knowing my friends and family are safe and loved. That’s what is most important to me.”

  He shook his head at me, but said nothing. I stared back at him a while and finally said, “I’m going to check on the pie.”

  I moved to clean up our dishes when Zane’s hand came out to wrap around my wrist. “It’s ok, Em. I’ve got them.”

  I looked at him and my heart melted. He was such a good guy.

  “Thanks, Zane.”

  I walked back into the kitchen and checked on the apple pie. It was finished so I pulled it out of the oven and set it on the countertop. Zane walked into the kitchen behind me carrying the plates from dinner and looked to the apple pie.

  “We’re going to need to give it some time to cool before we cut it,” I explained, moving to the sink where Zane was now standing as he placed the dishes in it.

  “Dinner was really good and I overate a bit so holding off on dessert right now is not a problem.”

  “Thanks. We should give it at least an hour to cool,” I said.

  I heard my phone chime alerting me to a text. I walked over and pulled the phone out of my camera bag. Turns out I had more than one text. Charley had texted telling me that she and Wes were picking up dinner on their way to the condo and wanted to know if I wanted anything. I told her I wasn’t home and would be in late, but did not elaborate on anything. From what I knew of Charley, she wouldn’t question me on it. Monroe also texted to tell me about her and Nikki coming to celebrate with us this weekend. I responded and told her how excited I was to see the two of them and couldn’t wait for them to get here. I tossed the phone back in the bag and looked to Zane.

  “I’m sorry. Charley and Wes are stopping to pick up dinner and wanted to know if I wanted anything. And Monroe was just filling me in on the plans for this weekend.”

  “Emme, you don’t need to apologize to me. You
do that way too much. And, if you want to share things with me, I’m all for it, but you shouldn’t feel obligated to tell me things. You telling me all that felt too much like you thinking you needed to tell me what was going on instead you wanting to do it.”

  I looked away. I guess I hadn’t realized how conditioned I’d become over the years. Apologizing whenever I thought I messed up to hopefully soften the blow or trying to rapid fire details of things so that I wouldn’t be accused of doing something unbecoming of a girlfriend. This was not to say that I thought I was Zane’s girlfriend. I knew that this was absolutely not the case.

  The next thing I knew Zane had his hand at my jaw and was gently pushing against it so that I had to look at him.

  “And you look away too much. It’s like you’re ashamed of something. Never feel that way around me, Em, ok?”

  I swallowed hard and nodded.

  “You said earlier that today was perfect and you wished you could feel this happy for the rest of your life. I don’t like your thoughts that you can’t have that, but at the very least, I’m going to do my part to make sure the rest of this day feels just like the start of the day. So, it’s your choice on what we do while we wait for dessert.”

  “What are my options?” I asked.

  “We can play a game or two of pool, watch a movie, or swim in the heated pool which, just saying, is my top choice.”

  “You have a pool?”

  He smiled and winked at me before saying, “Got a hot tub, too.”

  There was no way I was getting in a bathing suit in front of Zane, not that I had brought one with me, but even if I had it wasn’t happening. Not with the scar. No way. Not a chance. In the same regard, I didn’t want to disappoint him so I let him down gently when I said, “Well I didn’t bring a bathing suit, so that’s out.”

  “Undergarments, or nothing at all, work as well.”

  I rolled my eyes at him and said, “Nice try, but it’s not happening. I’d love to play a game of pool and then maybe a movie when we have dessert.”

  “I can work with that,” he said as he reached his hand out to hold mine. “Come on.”