Highland Trails of Love

by Barbara Bard

  The bandits were shown away, given a bag of gold for their services. She and her father were the only two people left in the room. His steps were slow and measured. Her thoughts were quick, flying through her mind. She had bought herself some time and now she had to find a way to help Declan.

  “Perhaps you would like to tell me exactly what happened to you? I have been wanting to speak to you and your brother for some time now. It appears that in my absence this estate has fallen completely into ruin, and I wish to know why.”

  “Harold isn't here to answer your questions. He's the one that wanted to fight the Highlanders. He declared war.”

  “Indeed, and it was a war he should have won. I cannot believe that he lost to a bunch of savages. And then to have the stupidity to lose his life in single combat. I thought I had taught him better than that. I do not hold you responsible for being captured, although from all the reports I've heard it is quite a confusing mess. You were the only prisoner taken, at the request of some Sassenach girl who threw her lot in with them?” he shook his head. “The world has gone completely mad. I know I have been away in London for a while, but I did not think that things would descend into complete anarchy in my absence.”

  “I can explain everything. I did not wish to be captured, which is why I escaped-”

  “Indeed, and I find that you have lost your head as well. To think that you would ever seek intimacy with a Highlander. Your mother would turn in her grave. You and your brother have brought me great shame.”

  “No Father, I didn't!” Catherine said, incensed, and scared that he had sniffed out the truth. “I promise you I was telling you the truth. He forced himself upon me, he-” Catherine said, hating every word as she uttered it, the lie tasting like poison upon her lips.

  “I know you are lying. I know you better than you know yourself,” he said. “It was quite ruthless, and I admire that. Perhaps there is still a little hope for you yet. Well, I suppose that issue has settled itself. At least you do not profess to love him. Frankly I was afraid that you would have fallen to the floor, wept, and begged for me to show him mercy.”

  “I would do no such thing, Father,” Catherine said in a small voice, hating that he was so smug, so superior. He had known all along that she had been lying, and she felt so small compared with him. This hadn't been how the reunion was supposed to go.

  “Of course not, because you are my daughter, and it is good that you have returned home. Harold should never have put you in danger, and I shall ensure that it shall never happen again.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have arranged a marriage for you. It took me a long time to find a suitable candidate, but I believe you will approve of my choice. I have also told him that you need to be kept safe, thus I am sure that you will only be allowed to leave when he deems it necessary.”

  Catherine's heart fell.

  “You have found a husband for me already?”

  “You are hardly getting any younger, and it seems as though you need looking after. It is proper that you should have a husband now. The weight of our legacy now rests upon you, and you are far too precious to waste. Go and clean yourself up. You are a disgrace. Later at dinner we shall talk more of this, and I shall tell you the man I have picked.”

  Catherine tore herself away from her father and ran to her rooms. Upon entering her chamber she threw herself on the bed and wept fretfully, tears staining the pillow. Her entire body shook as the emotional ordeal of the last few days was finally over. But her homecoming had only brought with it much misery. Declan was in the dungeon, suffering, when all he had done was try to help her. He had saved her life and she had done the complete opposite, and soon there would be no time to help him.

  In many ways, she was as much a prisoner of her father as he was, and she found that she did not like such a fate.

  She got her handmaids to draw a bath for her, but she moved numbly. She slipped into the warm water and was bathed, but barely even blinked. Without Declan she felt uneasy, as though she was missing the person who was supposed to be by her side. The life she had lived in the wild had helped her grow, and now everything seemed so sterile. She started to realize what Sarah and Rosemary had been trying to tell her, that there was more to life than she previously thought.

  After bathing she dressed in fresh clothes and looked in the mirror. She resembled her old self more, and yet when she looked she realized how much she had changed in the short time she had been away from home. She was far more independent, and had a way of looking at life that was far wider than before. She had been through a war, and lost her brother, yet she had gained much in return.

  And yet, when it came down to it, she had proved Declan's suspicions right. All along he had been afraid that she was a cowardly Sassenach girl scheming and twisting his mind for her own ends, not caring about him one bit. That was surely what he thought of her, for it was how she thought of herself. She was the worst person imaginable, and she knew that Declan would never have treated her in the manner she had treated him.

  She was a scoundrel, and she should be in the dungeon rather than Declan.

  It was amazing how quickly her opinions changed. A short time ago she would never have felt bad for a Highlander locked in the dungeons, for she would have been sure that he would have been guilty of his crimes. But what crimes had he committed? What crimes had any of them truly committed? Only that of being a Highlander, and she had come to learn that that was no crime at all.

  The time passed slowly. Catherine looked through her wardrobe to see the dresses she could wear for dinner with her father, but none of them seemed quite right. After she had gone through all of them she realized that it wasn't the dresses that were the problem, it was her lack of desire to dine with her father that was. All the time she had been captive she had longed to return home, but now that she had gotten what she wished for she found that actually she was not satisfied. Her thoughts turned to her friends Sarah and Rosemary, and how they would be enjoying their lives together, while she was being told what to do and who to marry, and all the while Declan was rotting in a prison.

  Eventually she chose a simple dress and went downstairs, unable to hide the sorrow from her face. Her father was sitting where Harold used to sit, and she was struck by the remarkable resemblance between them.

  All at once she wondered if she was more like her father than she cared to admit, but she tried to convince herself otherwise. She would never send Declan to his death. If it came to that then she would admit the truth to her father, no matter what the consequences for her were.

  Athelred rose briefly as Catherine joined him.

  “Why do you look so sorrowful, my child? This is a time to rejoice. You are where you belong again,” he said.

  “I am sorry, Father. I am merely fatigued. Everything I have been through has been quite arduous,” she replied. The servants brought in plates and began to serve food upon them in a much more measured and organized way, but Catherine couldn't help comparing it to the feast. The air was sterile, the mood strict and tense, and the food lacked the vibrant taste it had been imbued with in the Highlands.

  The longer she was away from the Highlands, the more she appreciated their way of life, and felt shame that she had not fully embraced it while she could, for she was unlikely to get the chance again.

  “Yes, of course. Well, put that out of your mind now, girl, for you never have to think of it again. It is quite a terrible business. I don't know what Harold was thinking, taking you and that other girl to war. I should never have left the two of you here. It's quite clear to me that you cannot look after yourself. Thankfully Lord Headingly will be able to give you a good home.”

  “Lord Headingly?” Catherine asked with curiosity. She recalled the name, but could not link it with a face.

  “Apologies, my tongue got the better of me. I was hoping to reveal your future husband to you with a little more panache. But yes, Lord Edmund Headingly is to be your husband.”


  “Do I know him?” Catherine asked.

  “I do not believe so. He held you once when you were a babe. He and I have known each other for a long time, and there are few men I would trust more with your hand. He has a brilliant political mind, and is on friendly terms with powerful men. However, as he has grown older his influence has diminished somewhat, and his faculties have begun to desert him. He still fosters goodwill among his peers, and with the next generation of politicians, for he taught many of them everything they know. I am sure that he will give you strong and clever children.”

  “Surely a man as...experienced as he must have children of his own already?”

  “Edmund spent much of his life devoted to his work and he never quite made time for family matters. I believe that he wishes to make up for lost time before it is too late, so you shall find yourself quite busy when you are married. I expect you to do your duty and be the best wife you can be to him, but do not forget to cultivate good relationships with those who know him, as you must think about your future and the future of this family. With Harold gone the weight of our legacy rests upon you.”

  “I shall not let you down, Father,” Catherine said in a small voice, hating that her destiny seemed to be already written for her. Family had always been the most important thing in her life, but when did it become more important than her own desires? Her own feelings?

  The family was a nebulous concept, filled with ghosts, principles, and ambition, yet there was nothing she could grasp firmly to convince her that it truly mattered as much as her father seemed to think it did. There was nothing she could press her flesh against, or kiss, and once again her mind was flooded with passionate thoughts about Declan.

  “Is everything well? You look a little flushed,” Athelred asked.

  Catherine coughed, clearing her throat. “The food is a little hot. Perhaps I am coming down with something,” she said.

  “It is a testament to your good health that you did not become infected by some vicious disease while you were in the Highlands. I remember how they looked when we fought them, the stench of them, the vile aromas that greeted us through the air. They are a bunch of animals and it is only because of the King's mercy that they are able to live as they do. If I had my way I would lead a force of men up there and exterminate them.”

  His thin lips pressed together and his eyes narrowed. The cold hatred of the Highlanders was evident in his eyes. He took his knife and stabbed his meat, then tore it apart before biting down on it. Catherine could imagine that in his mind he entertained violent thoughts of the Highlanders.

  “Father, why do you hate the Highlanders so?”

  He didn't move his head, but his eyes locked with hers.

  “They are vermin. They are a reflection of what we could be if we let our civility slip. We are far closer to them than many of us would like to admit, and the only way we can be rid of that idea completely is to wipe it out. I hate everything they stand for. The wildness, the savagery. There is no sense of nobility or honor among them. You look at them and you see animals, tearing at meat with their teeth and hands. They do not respect the laws of the land. They take what they see fit without any regard for our way of life.

  I have been trying all my life to get the people in London to see the threat the Highlanders pose, but their eyes are always turned to France and the Continent. Sometimes it feels as though I am fighting a war by myself, and I must remain vigilant, for if my gaze should slip it would give them the opportunity to breach the border and violate our lands. I shall not let that happen. I shall not let their way of life poison us.

  It already vexes me that Harold lost control, and I shall not let it happen again, so I am going to remain here for the foreseeable future. You shall have to represent me when in London. Appear at as many social functions as you can. It may even help if you spoke of your terrible ordeal, to garner more support for our cause here.”

  Catherine looked down at the food on her plate, which she had barely touched. Her appetite had completely vanished. So badly she wanted to confront her father, but a lifetime of his domineering presence had trained her to be meek and subservient towards him. He seemed to only want her to do his bidding, not to have a life of her own.

  “I would much prefer not to talk about it, Father, because it is painful for me to relive.”

  “I understand, but sometimes we must make sacrifices for the greater good. You do not have to go into any specifics, merely give the people an idea of what you went through, and the threat posed by them. Those stuffy diplomats always like hearing something that gets their wind up, and if we're lucky they may offer us more men.”

  “More men, men for what, may I ask?”

  “For the assault, of course.”

  “What assault?”

  “The assault on the Highlands. You must really be stricken with something. I suggest that after dinner you return to your chambers and get a maid to tend to you. I would see you in good health for when you are presented to Lord Headingly. You have always had a sharp mind about you, Catherine, when it suits you at least, and I should think that this course of action would have been quite obvious.”

  “I merely thought that there would be no need for a war now that I have returned.”

  Athelred gave her a withering look.

  “These brutes killed your brother and took you captive. Of course I am pleased that you have returned, but do you honestly think I can leave their transgressions unpunished? What's more is that they have managed to corrupt the minds of two other Sassenach girls. The list of their crimes is growing, and I will see to it that they are reminded of our superiority.”

  “But is there truly a need, Father? Surely it would be better to leave things as they are at the moment. So much blood has been spilled already.”

  Athelred smiled to himself and sighed. “You women are always so softhearted. It is an admirable trait in some respects, but it also proves why these matters should be left to men. Of course this bloodshed should never be something we revel in, but it is also unavoidable.

  We must have the fortitude to continue forward with our plans and show the Highlanders that they cannot be allowed to get away with their sins. Upon this earth we are the instruments of the Almighty, and we must see His will through to the end.”

  “And what of the prisoner?”

  Athelred's face immediately darkened. “I would have him witness the pain and shame that I have experienced because of him. I would cart out a hundred Highlanders to be executed before his eyes so that he will know that he cannot lay his hands on my daughter. I will leave him to rot in that dungeon until his bones are brittle and he is blind. His life shall fade away like a whisper, and nobody will care. He will be completely forgotten.”

  Catherine bit her lip and tried to quell the sadness that rose up within her. She closed her eyes, trying to force the tears back, for the thought of Declan suffering such a fate was unpalatable.

  “But such matters are not something you need to worry yourself about. You shall be far from this estate, and by the time the life has slipped from his limbs you will have a family of your own. This is the beginning of your life, Catherine. You shall finally achieve all the things you have waited for. All the ambitions your mother and I have planned out for you will finally come to fruition. I do wish she were here to see this most auspicious day,” he said.

  The only time Catherine ever saw his cruelty slip was when he spoke of her mother, and all at once she wondered how a woman could ever have loved a man such as her father. He was not loving in the slightest, and although he was strong and successful he did not bear any of the qualities that Catherine sought in a partner.

  She wanted someone who was kind and tender, who was strong and fierce, yet would always have her passions and desires at the forefront of his mind. She wanted someone she could embark upon a journey with, not someone who she meekly had to follow.

  She wanted someone like Declan.

  All too late t
he realization swept through her mind, and the guilt prickled through her. Because of her foolishness Declan had been captured, and his life was practically over. He would never be allowed to leave that dungeon, and the thought of him suffering that horrid fate was too much to bear.

  She knew then that, despite the wishes of her father, she would never be able to take joy in her life, for she never wanted to forget Declan. She knew she had to do something as quickly as possible.

  “Forgive me, Father, but I require rest,” Catherine said, pushing herself away from the table and rising. Athelred looked at her with concern, and let her go.

  “Make sure you rest over the next few days, for soon it will be time to present you to Lord Headingly. I wish for you to make a pleasing first impression, and it will do you no good to be so filled with emotion when you meet him.”

  As soon as Catherine was out of sight she burst into tears and ran to her chambers, flinging herself on the bed. It was all too much to bear. Not only was Declan going to be lost to her forever, her hopes of preventing a war had been dashed, and it was likely that Sarah, Rosemary, and all the other people she had met would be slain. She would be left to live a life her father had chosen for her, without being able to pursue her own course.