by Barbara Bard
“Aye, I did, for he was my father. All men die, but a symbol can live on forever. Remember that. Because the Blue Thistle is alive again, and I have a score tae settle. Farewell, friends!” he said, and turned his back on them, disappearing into the darkness.
“I believe his years of captivity played havoc with his mind,” Catherine said dryly, arching an eyebrow.
“Nay lass, he is a hero, and he still has fight left in him,” Declan said, awed by the man who called himself the Blue Thistle. Declan quickly turned and helped Catherine back up onto the wagon, then drove it himself along the winding road that ran through the forests. It would be a long journey back, but with Catherine by his side he felt as though he could accomplish anything.
Chapter 19
While she was sitting beside Declan, Catherine realized that this was the first time she had felt truly free. Free of responsibility, free of duty, free of fear. Sometime after they had parted ways with Alastar, Catherine had stopped looking over her shoulder, worrying who was following them. She was sure that at some point they would come, but hopefully by then she and Declan would be well away.
The two of them rode in silence, both with much on their mind. Declan had hinted at deeper feelings, and Catherine wondered if he was being sincere. It was hard to imagine he was given how passionately he had spoken of his dislike of the Sassenach, but it was hard to deny the tension that existed between them.
Her heart beat with excitement as well, not with trepidation, as it had when she met Lord Headingly for the first time.
They rode on through the night until the dawn sun raised its golden head, and then stopped for a short while to gather their strength, and to give their horses a rest. They sat on a mossy bank and watched the bleeding sky above, enjoying the settled feeling of being safe.
“Ye must be tired,” Declan said.
“Not yet. I think I have been through too much to be tired. How can one be tired when they are on the run? Once we get back to the Highlands I am sure things will be different, but then we shall have a war to prepare for.”
“Aye, yer father will be more determined tae fight us now. I doubt he'll believe that ye chose tae come with me.”
“Well, I was persuaded, very passionately I might add.”
Declan wore a sheepish grin. There were moments when he showed his boyish charm, and Catherine was reminded that he was still young, just like her, with their entire lives ahead of them.
“Did ye mean what ye said earlier, about me being brave and courageous?”
“I did. You are so brave, Declan. I have to admit that when I first met you I thought you were a lout, a typical Highlander who preferred to brag about his prowess in battle than do anything meaningful with his skills, but over time you have proven to me that you have something special inside you.”
“And when I first met ye I thought ye were a stroppy lass who had nae life skills, but ye have shown yerself tae be quite capable.”
“I believe you were about to tell me something before we were rudely interrupted by Alastar?”
“I was? I cannae remember,” Declan said, a hint of a smile on his lips. Catherine pressed her lips together with suspicion.
“He was a strange man. I hope he finds happiness, although if he goes back to the estate he will have to deal with the fury of my father.”
“I hae a feeling he will be able tae take care of himself,” Declan said with a knowing smile. “But what about ye? What does the future hold for ye? Are ye gaeing tae stay in the Highlands?”
“I have nowhere else to go. I suppose it depends on who wants me there. I could just spend all my time with Rosemary and Sarah. Then again, it might be worthwhile for me to learn how to hunt and fight with a sword, and all those life skills that you clearly think I lack. I will need a teacher though.”
“I am sure either Drew or Blair will be happy tae help.”
Catherine giggled. “I was rather hoping that you would help me,” she said. Declan's cheeks flushed crimson once again, and the two of them laughed together.
“I have to admit that I did not expect this to happen.” Catherine said.
“Expect what?” Declan asked.
“That I would be on such good terms with a Highlander. I used to think you were nothing more than brutes and savages, with only one thing on your mind.”
“And what dae ye think now?”
“Well, certainly some of you fit that description,” Catherine said with a teasing smile, before she got a little more serious, “but in your case I found myself quite surprised. You are so concerned with trying to be an honorable warrior that you don't realize you already are. You could have treated me like those men in the forest wanted to. You could have left me for dead. You could have spoken out and raised hell until my father was forced to listen to you, and then told him the truth of the matter. There were so many times when you could have hurt me, but every time you chose to protect me and take care of me. I am not used to the men in my life treating me in that manner.”
“That is just the way I am. I dinnae want tae see ye unhappy,” he said.
“And that is what makes you so wonderful. Thank you for forcing me to leave. I know that I would have been terribly unhappy if I stayed. When I met Lord Headingly and heard him talk with my father I knew that he would not treat me in the manner I wish to be treated. Perhaps if I had not lived in the Highlands I would have been more willing to live that life, but I now know that I should not settle for anything less than I want.”
“And what is it ye want?”
“I don't know...” Catherine said. There were moments when she was entirely brash, but in this situation she found herself overcome with nerves. The feelings inside her were overwhelming and made her unsure of herself. She had often thought of marriage and a family, but only as abstract concepts. The actual feelings that went with them were complicated, and difficult to put into words.
“I dae,” Declan said strongly, looking deep into her eyes. “I've known for a long time, but it has been made clear tae me recently. When you talked of marrying another man I was filled with envy. It was my duty tae find ye, aye, but I wanted tae bring ye with me for more reasons than that. I dinnae know how it happened, but I hae fallen for ye, Catherine. Ye make me a better man, and I find that I dinnae care that ye are Sassenach. My eyes hae been opened, and I cannae deny it any longer. I know ye probably dinnae think of me the same way, but I hope that ye will have fondness in yer heart and allow me tae have these feelings for ye.
I hae been fighting a lifetime of hating the Sassenach, but I cannae hate ye. Even when I thought ye had betrayed me I could nae hate ye. Being here with ye now, alone, is more than I could ask.
I dinnae know what the future holds. I used tae think I had everything figured out, but the only thing I'm sure of is that I want tae be near ye. Ye make me a better man, Catherine,” he said earnestly.
When he was finished speaking he turned his eyes away, almost ashamed of everything he had shared with her. The tenderness with which he spoke filled her heart with warmth and longing, unlocking that which had been held within her breast. Her eyes swam with tears as the emotion overwhelmed her.
“You make me a better person too. You've helped me to see that everything I thought I wanted isn't actually what I want. I was fighting so hard to get away from you I never stopped to actually look, but I'm looking now. I have feelings for you too, Declan. I'm not sure I can explain them. They're strange and new, and it's not helped by the fact that I've been taught my whole life to fear you, but when I look at you I simply can't. The world seems brighter, and I feel as though anything is possible when I'm by your side.”
“I feel the same way. We can explore taegether,” he said, reaching out his palm. Catherine looked down at his big hand and placed hers in his. His fingers wrapped around hers, enveloping them in warmth and safety. She looked in his eyes and saw true desire, saw his kindness and his compassion. It was a far cry from her first impression of him, but neither of them had acted
like themselves.
Declan shifted around and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. She licked her lips in anticipation, her heart beating frantically with nerves. Declan leaned in, and for an eternity it seemed like his lips were never going to touch hers, then suddenly everything burst in her mind, and it was as though she had only been half-alive before. New sensations flooded her body, new thoughts rippled through her. The veil had been lifted from the world and what she was seeing now was glorious.
They kissed, their breath becoming one. Catherine leaned her body into him, feeling herself melt over his warrior muscles. Her fingers twined in his hair and they shared the same smile. Heat rose within her body and her skin became flushed. For a moment she pulled back to catch her breath.
“Are ye well?” Declan asked.
Catherine nodded.
“It's just that this is all new to me,” she said, a little sheepishly. Declan leaned in to press his forehead against hers and then kissed her lightly.
“It is new tae me as well,” he said, his hand rubbing her shoulder. The warmth of him spread over her and she felt entirely safe and secure.
“But I thought you were with that other woman, Deirdre?”
Declan smiled, shaking his head. “I was a foolish boy filled with foolish ideas. She teased me, flirted with me, but she only ever wanted tae use me tae get back at Blair. I could never bring myself tae be with her anyway, for she had been Blair's woman once and it dinnae feel right. I'm glad I dinnae. Being here with ye now, just us, with naething else tae worry about is perfect.”
“I'm worried that bandits will come again,” Catherine said, looking around nervously.
“I'll nae let anything happen tae ye,” he said, and kissed her once again. All anxieties were driven from her mind as she sank into the soft moss. Declan's body came over her, hot and heavy, casting a shadow over her milky skin. She closed her eyes and embraced the brilliant, shimmering pleasure that crackled through every part of her body.
A thrilled gasp left her mouth as she ran her fingers along his taut flesh, along the scar he had earned in the war.
“You are a man, Declan. I know you might not see it when you compare yourself with your cousins, but you are. You've been through so much already, and you've always done the right thing. You should be proud of yourself. I'm proud of you.”
Declan kissed her hungrily at that. Her hands ran around his body and settled on his smooth back, feeling him writhe and tense, and harden.
The feeling of his manhood against her filled her with a mixture of emotions, the most overriding of which was intense desire. Many times before she had thought about what it would be like to lose her maidenhood on her wedding night, and the thought had always come with trepidation, for she was certain that any man her father may choose would have only his own needs in mind, and these fears had certainly come to fruition when she met Lord Headingly.
Perhaps, a long time ago, Lord Headingly had been capable of showing passion, but she was quite sure that the ability had vanished from him a long time ago. The thought of sharing a bed with him filled her with revulsion.
She had always been scared as well, fearing that she would not know what to do or how to react. But with Declan nothing seemed more right or natural than being with him. It was as though the knowledge had been inside her all along, and had simply been waiting for the right moment to present itself. Her hands roamed around his body, her lips pressing against him, feeling him shudder and gasp whenever she reached a sweet spot.
He explored every inch of her. Seized by his ardor, Declan was confident and assured, peeling away her clothes layer by layer, until he reached the soft, unblemished skin underneath. Catherine flushed with embarrassment and turned her head away, folding her arms over her chest, conscious of the fact that she was naked in front of a man for the first time.
There were so many unknowns when it came to this experience, one of which was how Declan would react upon seeing her like this for the first time. She almost didn't want to look at him for fear that he would turn away in horror, but when she did glimpse his expression she was pleased.
“Ye are beautiful,” he said.
“It looks like you're in a dream,” Catherine remarked.
“I believe I am, and I never want tae wake up,” he said, his Scottish brogue rolling through her ears as he fell into her again, showering her with kisses, his hands gently caressing every part of her body. Catherine lay back and let the sensations swarm over her as his hand rose over her full breasts, spread over her stomach, and then delved deeper, feeling down her thighs. He was so tall and strong that the span of his arms could easily reach down to her knees while he still kissed her, and it felt as though she was submerged in him, and nothing was sweeter.
The tension in Catherine rose as his hand lingered over her thigh, his fingertips playfully dancing upon her skin. Her heart drummed in her chest and a knot tightened in the depths of her soul. A strong, relentless desire gripped her and she needed him more than ever. Beads of sweat prickled on her temples as he slowly dragged his fingers up her inner thigh, tormenting her with the promise of what was to come, and when he finally touched her in her most intimate area it was as though a seal had been broken and a loud, piercing scream burst out of her mouth. Her head arched back and a smile widened on her face as she let her arms splay out beside her, enjoying Declan’s touch.
The Highlander danced within her, his finger curling back and forth, beckoning the wild sensations from an elusive place inside her. She was completely at his mercy, and she was loving everything that he was doing. Her head fell from side to side, her mouth gaped open, and soon the pleasure was so intense that only silent screams passed between her lips.
Declan's presence dominated her. He kissed her tenderly, all the while causing the most wild and savage sensations to burst forth through her body, and in that moment she knew that everything she had been taught was a lie. The civility that the Sassenach held so dear to them was just an illusion, for deep down this was where the true nobility lay, at being in harmony with the desires of the soul.
Catherine kissed him whenever she could muster the strength, but her body was quickly being weakened, everything being sapped from her as the pleasure turned her into a writhing mess. Her mind was at war, her soul burned. The strokes of Declan's fingers were stoking a fire deep within her, a fire that quickly grew to an inferno. Catherine gripped Declan tightly until her knuckles went white and her eyes clamped shut as the blazing wildfire shot through her body, consuming everything she had been, and letting something else rise like a phoenix from the ash.
Catherine convulsed wildly, her body rocking, using Declan's stiff, strong body to steady herself, for it was as though she was on a tumultuous ocean, the threat of drowning very real, and Declan was her safe harbor.
After she settled, she leaned back in the moss, trying to get a hold of herself. Never had she believed that it would be anything like this.
“Declan,” she breathed, but she was so drained that she was unable to finish her sentence. He sensed the appreciation in her words though, and smiled as he nuzzled beside her, kissing her lightly. She felt his manhood pressing against her, so intimidating, so wide and thick, and despite feeling drained and delirious she wanted it more than anything.
The only knowledge she had of these matters was what she had experienced, so she began by mimicking what Declan had done to her, hoping that it would elicit the same pleasure. She ran her hands across his stomach, through the thick bed of hair that rested upon his skin, down his trunk-like thighs, and then up again, curling her fingers around him. She watched with delight as the pleasure played upon his skin and realized that she loved making him feel good.
She lay spread over his body, her breasts pressing against his chest, as she stroked, watching his mouth to adapt her movements. She slid her thumb over the tip and then moved her hand faster, then faster still, until he was moaning her name. Her own desire grew again as she watched him becom
e seized with fury. Her hand moved so quickly that it was a blur, and then suddenly it had all stopped.
Declan was gripping her tightly and pushed her over onto her back. There was something wild in his eyes, a desire that could not be controlled or refused. The heat of the moment sparked between them. Sweat streamed down their bodies. Catherine's hair flowed all around her, and before she knew it her eyes widened for she and Declan were one, and it was the sweetest feeling ever.
Declan crossed his arms over her head and lay atop her, his heavy body shuddering and writhing with great ardor. Catherine's mind exploded with all these new experiences, all these new sensations. She felt his hot breath burst over her skin, and his sweat dripped onto her sizzling body. The steamy, sensual union brought forth so much desire that Catherine honestly thought she was going to lose her mind. It seemed unnatural to feel this good, this complete, and she gave herself completely and willingly to Declan.
His frantic moans echoed through her mind as he continued to thrust, getting harder and deeper with every moment that passed. Catherine's waves of pleasure ebbed and flowed, crashing through her in a seemingly unending tide. Declan's face flushed and his grunts grew more intense. His hands dug into her skin. He kissed her tightly. She felt every inch of him go completely rigid and then he shook in apoplexy as his body jerked wildly and he released himself. The burst was as powerful as a thunderclap, and it signaled the end of the raging storm.