“I won’t knowingly set out to hurt Taylor.”
“But you won’t promise?”
“Putting Taylor first may mean two different things to us. I don’t want you to think I’ll back off from getting to know my daughter just because you say so.”
In her dealings with Max he’d always seemed fair and rational. Could she put her trust in him to do the right thing by Taylor? Lord, what do I do?
No answer other than what they had decided came to mind. Maybe that was her answer. Trust the Lord to know what was best.
Max answered his phone in his den, noting the number was Rachel’s. “Max, Will’s sick, and I can’t get hold of Mom at the church.”
Taylor’s frantic voice bolted Max to his feet. “What’s wrong?” He started for his front door with his mobile phone plastered to his ear.
“Nana and Granny aren’t home, and I’m babysitting Will and Sam.”
“I’ll be over to see about Will. I’m heading out the door now.” Max grabbed his medical bag he kept for emergencies and headed across the street to Rachel’s.
Taylor stood in the entrance waiting for him. Worry slashed her eyebrows downward. “Mom’s at her quilting group at church. They usually meet in a classroom. I don’t know why she isn’t answering her cell. It went to voice mail. It’s not like Mom not to have her cell on. But the past couple of days she’s been upset.”
And he was the reason she was upset. Guilt nibbled at him. “Where’s Will?”
“Upstairs in his bed. He’s hot. I took his temperature and it’s 103 degrees. That’s bad, isn’t it?”
Max mounted the steps, turning back to ask Taylor, “How’s Sam?”
“He’s watching TV in the den. I’ll go check on him. You know which room is Will’s?”
“Yeah,” Max said from the top of the staircase.
Ten minutes later, Max had checked Will and determined it was the flu going around. He didn’t want to give the boy anything for his fever until he could get hold of Rachel. When Taylor came into Will’s bedroom, she wore a frown and held Sam’s hand.
“I think he’s getting the same thing as Will. He says he doesn’t feel well.”
Max took Sam’s temperature, asked him some question about what was wrong, then had Taylor take her brother to his room.
Max retrieved his cell and tried Rachel’s number. Maybe this time she would answer. When it went to voice mail, he left a message, then called Eileen to see if she was home yet. No answer. He walked to Will’s window that overlooked the street and noticed that the porch light was now on at Doug’s house. Hopefully, they had returned home.
He hurried to Sam’s bedroom and asked, “What’s Granny’s number?” He punched it in as Taylor recited it.
Doug answered on the second ring and got his wife.
“Can you come over and watch Sam and Will? I need to go to church and get Rachel.” Max explained why and Granny said she and Doug would be over right away.
Max made his way downstairs with Taylor following.
“I’m coming with you.”
“You’d better stay here and help Granny and Doug. I shouldn’t be long. The church is only ten minutes away.”
“Will they be all right?”
He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Your brothers will be fine. It’s the flu that’s going around. They have the same symptoms as the patients I’ve been seeing. It’ll run its course. Have them drink some water if you can to keep them hydrated,” he said to give her something to do.
Granny thrust the door open and invaded the house, using her cane to walk faster. Doug was right behind her. “Are Will and Sam upstairs?”
“Yes, Granny. I can keep an eye on them until Mom gets home. I know the stairs can be—”
Granny blew past Taylor, making a beeline for the steps. “Nonsense, child. I’m perfectly capable of managing the stairs when I need to.”
“Here, let me help you.” Max moved to assist her.
Granny paused, gave him a cutting look then proceeded without him. “You’re wasting time, young man. Get Rachel.”
Max winked at Taylor. “Be back soon.” He glanced back to make sure Rachel’s grandmother was progressing up the staircase all right. She was halfway up with Doug at her elbow. The sight of those two devoted to each other, in love, heightened his loneliness.
Rachel sat in the front pew in the sanctuary, taking a break from working on the quilt after poking herself with a needle several times because she couldn’t keep her mind on her work. It would be weeks before she and Max got the results on the DNA testing. Weeks of anguish worrying. Weeks of wondering what was the right thing to do.
She needed the peace she always found in here. She’d taken her wedding ring off because she’d been attracted to Max—cared about him as more than just friends. She’d done the right thing today by sending off Taylor’s DNA with Max’s. Even though she had a good chance of winning any case that went to court concerning her daughter, how could she live with herself without knowing the truth one way or another? Then she could deal with it.
Is this a test, Father? I’m not going to turn away from You. But I do need to know You are with me, that I’m doing what is right in Your eyes. I can’t even begin to see why You did this, but You must have a good reason. Help me to see it.
As she sat there, that sense of calm she sought blanketed her. She would take it one step at a time. She closed her eyes and pictured a meadow with a gentle breeze blowing the wildflowers in full bloom in ripples like a wave on an ocean. She could smell their clean, fresh scent swirling around her. She could feel the warming rays of the sun bathing her face. Peace.
Finally, she stood and made her way toward the church classroom where the women in the quilting club were working. Now she could concentrate on what she needed to do.
“Rachel, your purse has been vibrating,” her mother’s best friend, Anna, said when Rachel entered the room.
“Must be my cell.” She crossed to her purse sitting on the floor along the wall. When she withdrew it, she noticed she had two messages. She listened to Taylor’s frantic one. “Will’s got a high fever.” Her heart rate kicked up several notches as she grabbed her bag. “I’ve got to go. Will is sick.”
“Rachel, wait…”
So upset, Rachel didn’t wait to hear what Anna had to say. As she hurried down the hallway, she played the second message. Max’s deep voice, level, matter-of-fact, immediately quieted her worst fears. “Taylor called me and I came over to check on Will, who has the flu going around. His fever is 103 degrees, and he’s complaining of aches and being tired. Call me. I’d like to give him something for the fever.”
Rachel hit the parking lot at a fast clip, trying to punch in Max’s number at the same time. Suddenly, bright car lights flooded the area. She looked toward the vehicle pulling up. Max’s Mustang. Relief eased her tensed muscles.
He came to a stop next to her and rolled down his window. “Will and Sam are going to be fine. Hop in. I’ll give you a ride.”
“I can drive myself. I…” Suddenly, she realized she’d gotten a ride with her mom’s friend. Her car was still in her garage. “I forgot Anna brought me.” She quickly rounded the front of the Mustang and climbed into the passenger seat. She threw a sheepish smile at Max. “I’m sure that was what Anna was going to tell me as I hurried from the room.”
Anna came barreling out of the church door, clasping her purse to her chest. When she saw Rachel in Max’s car, Anna waved and turned back into the building.
“Tell me one of my children is sick and that’s all I can think of.” She twisted toward him. “Hey, wait. You said Will and Sam are going to be all right.”
“Sam isn’t feeling well either. His fever isn’t as high. But I didn’t give either one anything for their fever without your permission. You should when you get home.”
“I should have known something was wrong before I left. Will was quietly playing on his bed. Not like him.”
“Grann
y and Doug are over at the house with Taylor.”
“Why did Taylor bother you?”
“When she couldn’t get hold of you, she tried her grandmother and Granny. Neither answered so she called me. Your mom is still gone.”
“She’s probably out Christmas shopping. She likes to have it done before Thanksgiving but didn’t this year.”
When Max pulled into Rachel’s driveway, she pushed the door open, saying, “Thanks for the ride and helping out.”
Without waiting for a reply, she strode toward her house, anxious to see for herself that her twins were okay. She heard a car door slam shut, but she didn’t look back to see if Max was coming inside. There was a part of her that would be glad if he followed her, but the other part didn’t know what to make of him. And she didn’t have time to figure it out right now.
Later that evening, after Rachel had settled her two sons in bed, their fever down, she went in search of Max, who’d stayed in case she needed any help. When she’d said she had everything under control, Taylor had piped in that she needed help with her math problems she still had to do. Max quickly volunteered, and they sat at the game table in the den to work.
Rachel paused in the doorway and observed the pair. Her daughter bent over her notepad, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth, something she did when she concentrated on what she was doing.
“Are you sure that number goes there?” Max had loosened his tie he’d been wearing earlier and had rolled up his long-sleeve blue shirt to the elbows.
He gave off a casual, at-home look that made Rachel catch her breath. He peered up at her and snagged her full attention. Why hadn’t she seen it before? Taylor’s eyes look exactly like his—the same color, the same slant. Her throat closed. She remained perched in the entrance as though any second she would spin around and flee.
Taylor glanced up from studying her paper. “No and since you asked, I guess it doesn’t go there.”
“Actually, it does. I just wanted to make sure you felt it should. You seemed to hesitate.”
Taylor flashed a grin. “That’s the second time you’ve tried to trick me.”
“I want you to think about your moves, understand the reason why you do it. Once you do, math will come much easier to you.”
Taylor saw Rachel. “How’s Will and Sam?”
“They’re doing what they need to get better—sleeping.” Rachel finally took several steps into the den, aware Max’s attention was fixed on her.
“That sounds good to me right now.” Yawning, Taylor gathered up her notepad and algebra book. “Thanks for helping me, Max. I was sure glad you were home earlier. I figured out one thing tonight. I don’t want to be a doctor like Dad. I didn’t like seeing Will and Sam sick.” Hopping up, she snatched up her belongings and walked toward the doorway.
Rachel noticed the color fade from his tanned features when Taylor mentioned her father. “I won’t be far behind you, Taylor. Today has been a long and tiring day.”
As Taylor left, Max scooted back his chair and rose. “Not one I want to repeat anytime soon.” He snapped his fingers. “I almost forgot. Your mom called when she heard the message from Taylor on her machine. She said she would be up for a while if you need her. I told her the twins would be fine with rest.”
“I wonder where she was. She’s usually home most nights, especially Wednesdays and Thursdays.”
“I know where she was.” The twinkle in his eyes sparkled like dew on grass.
“Are you going to make me guess?”
“Normally, I would, but since it’s been a long, tiring day, I’ll tell you. She had a date with Kevin. I think he was still there. I thought I heard a male voice in the background.”
“She did? She didn’t say anything to me.”
“Kevin didn’t say anything to me, either.”
“Maybe it wasn’t a date.” Rachel ambled into the hallway and toward the front door.
“Would that bother you if it was?”
She stopped in the foyer and shifted toward him. “No. It’s about time my mother dated and enjoyed the company of a man. She’s only gone on a few dates over the years since my father left her.”
“She’s an attractive woman. I’m surprised she hasn’t gone out much.”
“My mother’s choice. Let’s just say when my father walked out she didn’t want a repeat of that experience and decided to focus on her career and raising Jordan and me.”
“I guess I, of all people, can understand her reasons.”
“Because of what happened to your marriage?”
He nodded, a solemn expression puckering his brow. “Like your mom, I don’t want to repeat that experience. No matter what my heart feels.”
A softening in his gaze rooted her to the floor. Did he mean he had feelings for her? “Not all marriages end badly. I had a good one.”
“And you want to repeat the experience?”
The question hung in the air between them, charging it with emotions that rushed to the surface. Did she? She hadn’t thought she would ever get a second chance since she’d been blessed to have one good marriage. As much as she wanted to tell him no after all that had transpired between them, she couldn’t say the word. Her ringless left hand underscored her desire to move on. “It was a good time in my life. I miss that closeness. Wouldn’t anyone?”
His smile was slow to come, but it reached deep into his eyes. “But some people are optimistic and are sure things will be better the second attempt.”
“But not you?”
“I’m more of a realist. I’ve seen too much to think otherwise.”
“When you worked in the emergency room?”
“That and in war zones.”
She tilted her head. “Why are you here?”
Max panned the area behind her. His eyebrows sliced downward. “You know why,” he said in a low voice.
“I think it’s more than that.” She covered the distance to the front door, opened it and stepped out onto the porch. “What are you searching for?”
His frown strengthened. “What do you want me to say?”
“The answer to the question.” Tension poured off him. She treaded in territory he wanted left untouched. But if he was Taylor’s father—she couldn’t deny the similarities she’d seen—she wanted to know the real Max Connors, not the person he showed the world.
“I want…” He snapped his mouth closed and stared at a spot to her left. His Adam’s apple bobbed several times. “I want to get to know my daughter.”
“Besides that. There’s something else driving you. What?”
Chapter Ten
“I want peace.”
The ragged thread of Max’s voice held Rachel immobile.
“I’ve seen so much death. I want to see life. I worked at a hospital that saw a lot of the seedy side—murder, gang fights, humans preying on humans. I thought I could handle it after what I’d done in the army serving at the front lines. It didn’t prepare me, or rather I couldn’t any longer ignore what it was doing to me.”
In that moment, everything that had happened in the past couple of days between them vanished. She couldn’t stand there and hear the depth of his anguish and not care.
“When I found out about Taylor, I thought it was my chance to make a change. I actually thought the Lord had sent me a second chance. I’d messed up my marriage. I’d stopped talking to Alicia. I was as much at fault for the marriage failing as she was. When she asked for a divorce, I was relieved because I didn’t know what else to do to make things the way they were when we first dated and married.”
“People don’t stay the same. The fact you got married changes who you are. You become a team, finding ways to work together.”
His arms stiff at his sides, he curled and uncurled his hands. “Alicia and I never did. That was the problem. Then I was gone more and more because I was deployed several times. At first she was upset, and even when she could come with me overseas, she refused to. Then later she jus
t didn’t care if I was there or not. I won’t go through that again.”
His declaration erected a barrier between them as though he had posted a “Do Not Disturb” sign around his heart. And yet, Rachel decided she wouldn’t give up. If Taylor were his daughter, no matter what she wanted, they would be connected. Before she wanted to get to know him, possibly beyond friendship, because she’d been attracted to him. Still was. Now, though, she needed to know the type of man who’d sired her child. Might be in her life? How could she deny her daughter a dad if Taylor wanted a relationship with Max?
She’d gotten the impression he was angry with God. Maybe she could change that, give him that second chance he was talking about—at least with the Lord. “You mentioned you thought coming here was a second chance, that the Lord may have had a hand in it. Come with us to church on Sunday. It’ll be Taylor’s first performance with the choir.”
His eyes brightened, the stress melting from his stance. “I’d like that.”
“Then in the afternoon we can help you decorate your yard. I wouldn’t want the neighbors to band against you. In case you haven’t noticed, your house is the only one not decorated on the street. Even Doug has some lights out.”
“I noticed, but I’ve got the decoration problem taken care of. I’m getting it tomorrow and putting it out Saturday.” He turned to leave, stopped in midmotion and peered back at her. “Call if the boys get worse. I can be here quickly.”
“I appreciate you being here for my children.”
One corner of his mouth tilted upward. “Anytime.”
As he left, she realized he’d meant that about being here for her and the kids. In five weeks he’d become a frequent visitor to her house. Of course, now she knew why. It hadn’t been because he’d been interested in her. Only Taylor. At least in the past twenty-four hours she’d learned not to lose her heart to Max. And tonight he’d reinforced the reasons why he couldn’t commit to a woman.
On his porch, the security light illuminating him, he swung around and looked directly at her. Suddenly, it seemed as though only a few feet separated them rather than yards. She needed to harden her heart to his appeal. There was no future for them except where her daughter was concerned. Breaking the visual bond, she moved toward her front door.
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