JEGUDIEL: A Deadly Virtues Novel

by Cole, Tillie

  Diel felt his pulse speed up as he fought the monster. He held his breath and wrested it back further and further, sweat dripping down his back as he fell to the floor and the collar buzzed a warning. But the fight only grew worse. The collar was designed to stop his monster from attacking someone else—its purpose was never to stop Diel fighting himself.

  He gripped his head as the monster slashed at his muscles, agony exploding through him like spilled acid. The buzzing ended, only for a bolt of pain to cut through him, like lightning touching ground and scorching anything in its path.

  Diel’s body writhed, and his head hit the floor as the familiar volts rendered him immobile. He tried to breathe through the shocks that made him jerk uncontrollably. A hand landed on his bicep. “Breathe, brother,” Sela said, crouching down beside him.

  Diel’s throat felt raw; his chest burned from the internal fight. But his monster was silent. Diel had gained a victory for now. Sela’s hands moved underneath Diel’s arms and he lifted him to his feet, sitting him on the closest couch. Diel’s head ticked as the last of the volts tried to flee his body. His knuckles were white as he gripped the arm of the couch.

  He closed his eyes and breathed, searching for signs of the monster’s second attack. Everything was silent. But Diel knew his monster was only buying itself time. Waiting, like an expert guerilla fighter, hidden from Diel’s senses but silently strategizing its next move with absolute precision.

  A glass of water appeared before his face. Reaching out with a trembling hand, he took the glass that Sela held. He drained it, but the storm inside of him didn’t lessen. It raged, dark clouds rolling, gaining power and momentum.

  She had to die. Noa had to die tonight. He had to stop this internal madness.

  Sela dropped to the seat beside Diel. Diel stared at a single drop of water traveling down the outside of the glass. His hands steadied, and he felt a wash of calmness take control of him. This was him without the monster, he realized. This was the silence that came when the monster’s eternal roar was muted.

  “She’s gotten to you,” Sela finally said, and Diel’s head twitched again, the tic he’d developed over the years of being trapped underneath the collar.

  “I never knew there’d be more of us out there,” Diel said.

  Sela sighed. Diel flicked his gaze to his best friend. Sela’s already dark eyes seemed to take on an obsidian tone. “And it was my brother,” Sela said. “When he disappeared on us all those years ago, graduated from Father Quinn’s fucked-up tutelage, it was to go to the Coven.” Not a muscle on Sela’s body moved. He was as still as the statues he often crafted. “We know he’s alive.” He met Diel’s eyes. “I know my fucker of a brother is still alive. And we know he’s somewhere close.”

  “You’re going to kill him,” Diel said. It wasn’t a question. He knew it was a truth as certainly as he knew that the sun would bring a sunrise each day.

  “Yes.”

  Sela got to his feet, clearly still thinking about his brother, if his thunderous expression was anything to go by. Sela had secrets well hidden. Things he had never shared about himself, his past. Diel knew it. He never pushed his friend for more information. All the Fallen had things that lived in their souls unspoken. Some didn’t even remember anything before Purgatory. At least that was the case for Diel. His first memory was being taken to the underground dorm by the Brethren. Not even a flicker of life remained in his brain from before that, not even what he had done to trigger the Brethren’s interest in him at Holy Innocents Home for Children. Being branded an evil sinner was his genesis as a person. Years lost and never to be recalled. His formative years were a black void of nothingness.

  At that thought, Diel felt a stirring of the rage that ran in his veins as potently as his blood. For too many years he’d lived with his monster and the constant burn of anger flooding his every cell. He didn’t know calm or happiness, quietness or solace. He knew darkness and death and the feel of fresh blood coating his palms.

  Death was who he was. Death was his comfort. It was his closest ally and friend.

  “If you go down this path, there’ll be consequences, brother,” Sela said, ripping Diel from his thoughts. But the aftertaste of the reminder of who he was still remained on his tongue. Noa. He had to fucking kill Noa. Everything would go back to normal if she would just die.

  “Not from me,” Sela continued. “But Gabriel won’t accept it. This isn’t like Raphael bringing Maria here. This is murdering someone he vowed to protect.”

  Diel’s chest tightened. His brothers were his only family. The only people who had ever been somewhat exempt from his monster’s wrath, if they didn’t taunt him or push him too far. But when he thought of his monster’s fantasy of having Noa in bed, her hands on her pussy, enticing him, and his cock deep inside her, he knew there could be no other way. He would never fuck. He couldn’t bear to have anyone touching him like that. Diel couldn’t allow his monster to win and seduce Noa.

  Because his monster always won.

  Diel jumped to his feet and felt sweat dripping down his face. He moved to his closet and pulled on a long-sleeved black shirt and his black boots. Sela stood by the door, silently waiting for Diel to make his choice. When Diel came back into the living room of his quarters, clothed to kill, Sela nodded at him, then left the room.

  Diel checked the time. It was after midnight. He glanced out the window. The grounds were shrouded in darkness. He flicked off the lights in his rooms and sneaked out of the door. His footfalls were silent as he made his way down the hallways and to the first floor. His head twitched as he fought to remain quiet, staying vigilant against the threats of both being discovered by his brothers and the monster blindsiding him from within. He went down the stairs to the basement and moved to the door to the tunnels that connected all the manor’s buildings to the main house.

  He took the key from the hook and put it in the lock. Just before he turned it, he froze, eyes on the cluster of ancient keys. Gabriel had trusted him, trusted all the brothers. Regardless of their wicked natures, and the darkness their holy brother knew burned inside them, Gabriel trusted that his brothers wouldn’t harm the Coven. He trusted that his Fallen would obey the commandments that they had lived by for so long.

  Diel’s gut twisted for a second at the thought of betraying Gabriel, but then he felt the monster stir, and he wrenched the door open. His instinct for survival overrode any worry about hurting Gabe. Diel’s pulse fired into a sprint, and he fled into the tunnel, closing the door behind him.

  The tunnel was dark and damp, with only old lamps giving any kind of light from the slippery walls. His feet faltered when his monster charged, crashing against his ribs. It spread its claws and began to slash at his organs and flesh. The pain the monster inflicted on his torso almost made him drop to the floor.

  His collar buzzed. “No,” Diel hissed, trying to breathe calmly so as not to incur the collar’s wrath. He crawled along the damp floor, palms slick on the stone. He managed to push himself to his feet just as the monster attacked again. It swung Diel’s body into the wall; his arm bled as the jagged old rocks in the walls sliced his skin.

  “You won’t win,” he growled, addressing his monster, and picked up his feet. But the monster struck again. Diel’s other arm took the impact this time as he crashed into the opposite wall. The coppery scent of blood filled the dank, sticky air around him. He felt the warm liquid soaking into the sleeves of his shirt. Still, he pushed on. He pushed and pushed himself, muscles aching and breathing labored as he turned right in the maze of underground tunnels and found himself at the door to the housekeeper’s home.

  The monster lashed out one more time, wrapping its long claws around Diel’s throat. Diel’s back scraped against the wall, the rough stone digging into his spine. His head was rigid in the monster’s grip. “I won’t do it,” he hissed, and the monster swelled through his body, aiming for full possession, for complete control. Diel tensed and fought back in a furious batt
le for dominance.

  He could feel the monster’s wants and needs. It wanted them to finally take someone as their own after years of solitude. Years of fighting for Diel, of taking the punishments from the Brethren priests so Diel didn’t have to face them. Years of taking the lead, killing and gaining revenge in the name of anyone that had ever hurt them. The monster had had enough—it demanded that it be allowed Noa in compensation for all the years of being Diel’s shield. That after years of being fucked and tortured, it be given her in reward.

  But Diel conjured up the image of Noa naked before him, his hands in her long pink hair, and he shuddered, his throat closing tight. The monster might have taken the brunt of the Brethren punishments, but Diel was always there with it, withdrawn from the act but still hearing the grunts, smelling the priests’ tobacco-and-whiskey-laden breaths as they smothered his skin and tried to exorcise the monster from within him.

  But the monster had always been too strong for them to win.

  Something Diel was very aware of as his own fight with the dark entity inside him raged on.

  “No.” Diel pushed the monster from his throat and wrestled it back to the dark depths of his soul. With all his remaining strength, he kept it locked away as he faced the door and inserted the key into the lock. It turned, and Diel silently pulled the door open.

  His breathing was rough as he climbed the steps to the kitchen. The house was quiet but for Diel’s audible breaths. He slunk against the walls, inching along the perimeter of the dining and living rooms until he reached the central staircase. He ascended it in silence, his pulse thudding as he neared the second floor, a carpet swallowing his footfalls. An array of bedroom doors was spread before him. He had no idea which one was Noa’s, so he closed in on the one nearest to him. He pressed his ear to the door and silently turned the knob. As the door opened, he saw red hair spilling over a pillow like a flame.

  Not her.

  Next was the small brunette. After that were the two females who were together, sleeping side by side. Diel paused for a moment and watched them in bed together. The blonde had her arm over the waist of the brunette, a peaceful look on her face, even in sleep.

  Embers flickered in Diel’s chest. He had never seen two people sleeping together—not fucking, just … asleep, trusting the other not to hurt them, not to kill them. Diel frowned and his cheek twitched, a strange heat seared through his body.

  He immediately felt the monster wake again. Knowing he was lacking time, he rushed to the next door, only to find it already slightly open. He peered through the gap; Dinah sat at the window seat across the room, a book of some kind in her hand. She didn’t see Diel at the door, too lost in the book, eyes and fingertips racing down the page.

  He turned to the final door. The one at the very end of the hallway, slightly set aside on its own. Noa. She would be in that room. Diel stumbled as his monster charged again, aware that Diel had found the one he was looking for. Diel gritted his teeth and held firm against his monster’s assaults. Sweat broke out on his brow. Goosebumps exploded over his skin despite the boiling blood flowing in rapids underneath.

  Dead.

  She had to die.

  Diel closed his eyes and clenched his fists. Despite he and his monster being at odds, he felt the rush of euphoria sweep over him like a tidal wave—the spike of ecstasy before a kill. A thick black fog descended over his body and soul, and his vision tunneled on the door ahead.

  Light as a feather, he crept to the door and slowly turned the knob. A riot of pale pink hair greeted him as his blue eyes landed on the bed. Diel stilled for a second, taking in the scene. Noa was facing away from him, her back to the door. He couldn’t take his gaze off the shape of her. The white sheet over her body molded to her curves. And her skin … There were straps of some kind over her shoulders, but her arm and upper back were completely exposed. The moonlight streaming through her window like floodlight beams showcased her porcelain color.

  Diel felt his cock grow hard, and he ground his jaw in disgust. He tried to make his feet move, but he couldn’t get them off the fucking floor. Then, as Diel let his guard down, his monster struck, its heavy weight knocking him back several feet.

  Diel stumbled and tried to right his stance. His attention slammed back to Noa, but she remained asleep. He gripped his messy black hair as he fought his monster back. His muscles were strained and bulging under his shirt at the effort it took just to wrench the monster from one of his limbs. Sweat ran in salty rivulets down his face. His heart pounded like a bass drum, a crescendo, beating faster and faster as the fight increased in ferocity. The battle with his monster was as real to Diel as if the monster had severed from their conjointment and become a towering, gargantuan scaled monster before him.

  Diel held his breath and fought with all his might, managing to rip the monster from his arm and punch him through the chest. But the strain and effort caused him to gasp out loud. The monster retreated, blood pouring. But Diel knew it was temporary. A mere chest wound wouldn’t kill the monster. It was infinite, insensate, and it was born with black-tarred blood and granite-tough skin.

  His strength was waning, but Diel had Noa in his sights again. He leaped for the bed, his knife burning like red-hot steel in his back pocket. He dove onto the bed, but just as he did, Noa whipped around, a vortex of pale pink wrapping around him. Iron-strong legs grasped Diel’s waist and, taking him off guard, flipped him onto his back. His injured monster roared in victory, deafening Diel where he lay.

  Diel gave Noa no time to best him. Even though he was weakened, his hands lashed out to grab her arm and pull him beneath her. But she was there first, gripping his wrists and slamming them onto the bed. Diel’s breathing was heavy, his body twitching with the need to bring her down. But he paused. He froze as Noa, in nothing but white panties and bra, sat above him, her barely covered pussy over his jean-clad cock.

  Her brown eyes clashed with his. A smile pulled on her red lips, showing a glimpse of her white teeth, and Diel wanted to fucking howl in rage. His collar began to snap and hiss.

  Not right now. Not right fucking now!

  “I’m going to fucking end you,” he spat, but Noa didn’t move, just kept her hands on his wrists and that fucking smirk on her face. Diel couldn’t move while his collar was waking. It would bring him down. It would incapacitate him and give Noa time to destroy him first. His eyes dropped to the brand on her chest. Then they moved over the mass of scars and burns and rope marks on her wrists and ankles.

  Noa’s long pink hair was a curtain around them, hiding them from anything outside of her bed. She lowered her face toward him. Diel’s dick punched against his jeans as her sweet scent cocooned him. Then her smile dropped and, softly, she said, “You think I didn’t know you’d be coming for me?”

  At the sound of Noa’s voice, his monster used all its strength and plowed through Diel’s defenses. With the monster in control, Diel rolled Noa onto her back, pinning her to the mattress, strength flooding back into his wasted muscles. She planted her hands on Diel’s chest. Humor spread across her beautiful face. “Who am I staring at right now? The man or the beast?”

  Diel bit his lip and lowered his head. His nose touched Noa’s neck, and he ran it along the curve of her jaw, lips hovering just above hers. He flicked out his tongue and groaned as the taste of her burst onto it. As his cock swelled, pressing harder against her panties, Noa moved her hand to Diel’s neck and squeezed. The monster groaned in pleasure; pain and the ecstasy of her touch had set his body alight.

  Noa’s free hand moved to Diel’s hair and yanked on the strands, her vise-like grasp pulling his head down until his nose hovered a millimeter above hers. She searched his eyes, then that smirk appeared again. “Hello, pretty monster.”

  Diel mustered all the strength he could and pushed the monster from the forefront. His jaw tightened when the monster slashed its claw across his stomach as it fell back to the depths of its cage. Diel slipped back in charge, and before he co
uld take a single breath, he became aware of the subtle warmth between his legs. His eyes slammed downward. A guttural cry ripped from him as he felt the heat from Noa’s pussy against his rigid cock. As she spread her milky thighs. His eyes flicked back up. Noa’s nipples were erect and pushing against the material of her bra.

  Releasing her arms, Diel shifted back, losing his balance and tumbling from the bed. His large body hit the floor with a thud. It was all the opening the monster needed to strike again. Diel was dog-tired; the ongoing battle for his soul was too much against the monster’s superior artillery.

  As he fought against the monster’s punches and slashes and ever-sharpened claws, his body failed to lift off the floor, depleted of energy and too wounded to strike back. His nails dug into the wooden floorboards as the monster sliced open his back. Diel roared out, his agonized voice echoing off Noa’s bedroom walls.

  He panted, black spots appearing in his vision. The collar surged in warning, but he was unable to calm his racing heart and it ignited, a white-hot lightning bolt striking straight through his broken body, shattering it to smithereens. Blistering pain clouded his head.

  Through his hazed effort to hold on to some sliver of consciousness, he heard the door to Noa’s bedroom burst open. “What the fuck?” Even slipping in and out of the fog swarming his brain, he recognized Dinah’s voice.

  “I’ve got this,” Noa said. Diel blinked his eyes open. His monster shimmered to the forefront, clinging to any sound from Noa’s mouth, any movement from her body. Diel lifted his head from the floor and saw Noa jump from the bed and usher Dinah out of the room. “I said I’ve got this.”

  “He attacked you?” Dinah asked, her tone switching from surprised to outright savage.

  “Dinah!” Noa snapped. “I can handle it. I expected it. I was waiting.” Noa went quiet, then said in a softer voice, “I saw it in him. Saw it from the first night.”