Deadline

by Judy McDonough

The seconds crept across the silence like hours amplifying her discomfort. An exhausted and somewhat dazed Caroline removed her boots again while Eddie waited patiently. She was tired, weak, and completely deflated after this evening's emotional roller coaster.

  Before stepping completely into the foyer, she glanced longingly one more time at her half-buried car and wished she could disappear. Why could things never go her way? Confrontations were not a strength of hers, but swallowing her pride was even harder. Caroline did her best to hold her head high and blankly stared at the wall as Delia handed Eddie two bottles of water and disappeared again.

  "Come upstairs with me for a minute."

  Caroline followed Eddie up the stairs to what she guessed was his office. He motioned for her to sit on the brown leather sofa. He closed the door and pulled up a matching brown leather chair directly in front of her so they were sitting face-to-face. He reached for her hands and her first instinct was to withdraw, but she didn't. She was still angry, but stuck with nowhere else to go, and her perseverance was defeated.

  Deep down she wanted to like him, and he was making it really hard not to with his compassionate regard. She didn't want her efforts to be a total waste. After all, she had driven ten hours to get here, and there was still Trevor's condition to fulfill. She talked big, but she loved Trevor and didn't want anything to stand in their way of happiness. Besides, despite her anger with his arrogant line of questioning, she desperately wanted to hear what her dad had to say. Eddie held her hands and spoke gently, looking her in the eyes the entire time.

  "I'm really sorry for my behavior earlier. I never meant to offend you. The last thing I want to do is push you away with unwelcome interrogation. I owe you an explanation, and I appreciate you offering your time to allow me that luxury."

  Caroline scoffed. It wasn't like she had much of a choice. Her car was axle deep in swampy mud and she had no idea where the nearest hotel was. Eddie noticed her reaction and added, "I realize your choices were limited, but I believe fate brought you here. That there was a reason you weren't able to leave. This is my second chance and I really want to make things right." He waited until she looked up to permit him to continue.

  "I wish I had a legitimate and logical explanation for why I left you and your mother. I would love to be able to blame it on my job, or my family, or some other completely understandable reason for leaving the two most important people in my life—but I can't. I honestly have no good or decent explanation for you. I was young, stupid, scared, inexperienced, selfish, you name it. I was wrong. I shouldn't have left, and if I could go back and change any part of it I would. But I can't." His voice shook.

  "Your grandmother had been diagnosed with breast cancer right after we filed for divorce, so I knew your mother would want to go back to Arkansas to be with her. My father was preparing me to take over our family business, so even if we hadn't divorced, there was no way I could go with your mother. I didn't fight for joint custody, not because I didn't want you, but because I didn't want to make you suffer by stretching you between two families, two states—being torn between who you spent time with.

  "I promise you not one single day of my life passed without me thinking about you. Not a moment when I didn't regret not staying with your mom, or at least trying to work out some sort of joint custody. I knew Emily was fully capable of taking care of you, so I just. . .let you go. I offered to give her money, but she told me she didn't want or need anything from me. I sent her some anyway in the mail, but the letters would come back unopened. She knew me well enough to know what was in the envelope, I suppose."

  Eddie stared at their hands and Caroline practically saw the painful memories flashing across his face. "Leaving you was the hardest and dumbest thing I've ever done. I had a birthday card for you stamped and ready to send every year for ten years, but I never sent them. I thought it would be easier on you if I never existed. I assumed your mother would move on and remarry, and if I never intruded then you wouldn't know me enough to miss me. I will never forgive myself for all the precious memories I missed out on and will never be able to get back."

  Caroline intended to be tough on him, hard and not easily swayed, but he made it difficult with his tenderness and sincerity. "Why did you and my mom not work out? Was I the reason you left? Was I the reason you couldn't get along?" Caroline felt her throat tighten and cursed herself for being so sensitive. She didn't want to let him off the hook quite so easily, but she really wanted to believe him, and her unshed tears were weakening her resolve.

  "Caroline, honey, absolutely not! We were both very young and immature. Honestly, she grew up like she was supposed to, and I didn't. I am so terribly sorry I left you. It's the biggest mistake I've ever made, and the fact that you are sitting in my house this very moment is an answer to my prayers. Please forgive me. Please, please forgive me. . .for not being a father, a role model, a friend, or a parent. So many times I've thought about what I should say in this moment—trying to prepare for this day I knew would eventually come. Rehearsing in a mirror didn't make it any easier for me to look into your beautiful face and justify why I was a deadbeat dad. Please, Caroline. Please say you'll forgive me."

  Her brow furrowed. "If you've rehearsed all these years what you would say to me in this moment you knew would come, why did you wait for me to come to you? Why didn't you come to me? My eighteenth birthday, when I was officially an adult, would have been the perfect opportunity for a reunion like that." Anger coursed through her softened veins, strengthening her courage. She stood to pace around the couch and put some space between them as she spoke animatedly with her hands.

  "You could have surprised me for my high school graduation. You've had ample opportunity to make up for lost time, but you chose not to. I've hated you for so long. Until Trevor, I resisted every guy that ever wanted to date me because I was afraid to get close to anyone for fear they would leave. You chose to continue living your life as if I never existed. Why? Why, Eddie. I get that you didn't want to confuse me or make it harder on me when I was young, but what about after I was old enough to understand? Huh? What about then? You'd rather your own daughter continue her life not knowing you? Hating the phantom father figure she dreamed about at night? Wondering what was so bad about her that her own flesh and blood didn't even want to meet her, much less take care of her?"

  He intercepted her pacing by putting a hand on each of her shoulders. She tried to push him away, but he forcefully pulled her into a tight hug. She struggled, but he resisted, keeping a firm grasp around her as she wailed, beating her fists against his back and ribs. The tears flowed as she yelled for him to let her go.

  He spoke softly into her hair as he swayed gently from side to side trying to counteract her resistance. "I can't, sweetheart. I can't let you go again. I made that mistake once, I'll never make it again. I love you, Caroline. I've loved you from the moment I saw your beautiful, red, screaming newborn face, and even though I wasn't in your life for the first twenty-three years, I want to be in it from now on."

  Caroline stopped fighting him and sagged in his embrace continuing with her emotional crash. His words penetrated her soul, breaking and mending her heart at the same time. She'd wished so many nights in her childhood to hear those words from this man, and now she finally heard them without having to ask. Caroline's body convulsed with sobs as she soaked the front of his designer shirt with her tears. Eddie's voice was thick with emotion as he continued shredding the scar tissue from around her heart.

  "I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for the pain and struggles I caused you growing up. For skewing your view of relationships. But if you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I love you, sweetheart. So much."

  This moment topped everything Caroline had shared with any man ever involved in her life. She could not imagine how difficult it was for him to pour his heart out while she continuously resisted and fought his efforts, especially within the first hour of seeing her since her toddler y
ears.

  She whispered, "I do forgive you. That's why I'm here." The never ending tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Caroline suddenly realized she hadn't come only because Trevor insisted. Her final decision to come here was due to curiosity and the need to forgive. Her whole life, she'd fiercely resented her dad, and something inside her wanted to give him the opportunity to change those feelings in her heart. She was so glad she came.

  "I mean, that's not the only reason I'm here. I told you, I didn't want to come at first, but Trevor asked me to drive down here and reconcile with you before we started our lives together."

  Eddie pursed his lips and nodded appreciatively. "He sounds like a good man."

  "He is. It's funny, I was very angry with him about it. He made it a condition to our engagement." Caroline picked at her nails. "I wasn't going to do it, but I, uh, I talked to Mom about it and she encouraged me to come."

  Eddie's eyebrows shot up and his chin dropped to his chest in disbelief. "Really? Now that is surprising. I assumed your mother's opinion of me consisted of hot coals, horns and a pitchfork."

  Caroline smirked. "Normally it does, but this time she said I should come and speak to you in person. Get to know you myself rather than just believe what she told me about you. . .to hear your side of the story and make up my own mind."

  He snorted with approval. "You are the best gift she ever gave me, and I threw you both away. Yet, here you stand. Your mother is an incredible woman and I can see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Caroline looked up from her jagged cuticles to see his eyes welled up with tears. He blinked and they streamed down his face matching her own. They were both a big sappy mess.

  They hugged tightly, neither one wanting to let go first. With the summit of this mountain attained, the levy breached, the battle conquered, they cried. They laughed. They got to know each other on a new level that neither one had the opportunity to before. Eddie held her face in his hands brushing a wild strand of hair from her eyes. Eyes she knew must be red and swollen, but seeing the admiration and gratitude beaming from his face left her without a care about her appearance.

  "There's no way I could ever deny you, that's for sure." The pride bled through in his voice causing her to blush from his intense focus. If he looked hard enough, he would notice every imperfection she wasn't quite ready to reveal yet.

  "I suppose I should get my stuff and bring it up to a room. Which one should I stay in?"

  "You are welcome to take a look around and see which room you like the best. All the rooms on the left side of the staircase are vacant, so take your pick." She followed him into the hall to the staircase.

  "Wow, you mean I could have my own wing of the house? Awesome." A bit confused, she was sure she'd seen someone watching her from a window on this side of the house. Eddie paused on the first step and smiled, clearly relieved they'd talked.

  "Hey, are we the only ones here right now? You, me, the two ladies downstairs?" she asked.

  "Yes, why?"

  Caroline shivered from the chill creeping up her spine. "Do they come up here a lot?"

  "Not really. They only come up to the third floor when they're cleaning or changing the sheets. Their bedrooms are downstairs. Why, what's wrong?" His concern deepened.

  "Nothing. I just thought I saw someone looking out a third floor window earlier. Probably just a reflection or something."

  He shrugged. "Probably. I'm going to call a friend real quick about getting your car out of the mud in the morning. Feel free to explore wherever you want. You won't disturb anyone."

  Caroline walked through the hall of the West Wing, peeking her head into each room to see which one she liked best. She was completely baffled why no one wanted to live on this side of the house, but wasn't complaining about having her own space and privacy. The home was exquisite. A girl could get used to this, considering most of the bedrooms were nearly as large as her entire apartment.

  Her body tingled strangely as she peeked her head into the third room she'd approached. A crippling sense of déjà vu encompassed her and something in her head screamed that this room was the one. She had been here before. But when? How? The hairs on her arms and the back of her neck stood up as memories from her latest dream flashed through her head. The canopy bed was exactly like the one she'd awoken in wearing someone else's clothes.

  Caroline stepped farther into the room and the tingling increased. She shivered and briskly rubbed her arms. Getting soaked earlier combined with her emotional breakdown and this strange coincidence had her chilled to the bone. She couldn't believe the similarities this room had to the one from her dreams. Caroline slipped her hands through the silky canopy cloaking the bed as she remembered the last time she'd seen this place. The young red head was staring out the—Oh! The window—it was in the same place! Caroline paused, a bit of fear bubbling deep in her belly. Had she had a premonition?

  As she stared out the same window, Caroline inhaled imagining she could smell the cigar smoke the nineteenth century gentlemen smoked in the yard next to a pond. She squinted her eyes through the darkness and rain for the landscape, but could only make out dim lights strategically placed in what she assumed was flowerbeds. She turned to view the room inside from a different angle.

  Caroline belonged in this room. She felt in her core. As if the ghosts of the past were calling her to choose it. Only, she didn't believe in ghosts. Not completely anyway. Though the hallucination that caused her near crash tonight, the mysterious charge in the frigid air, and the creepy, unexplainable things that had happened to her over the past few months now had her questioning that ridiculous theory. This room, however, was merely a coincidence.

  "Just a coincidence," Caroline muttered to reassure herself.

  She gently smoothed her hand across the exquisite carving of the antique dressing table. It was very similar, if not exactly like the one the girl sat while writing in her journal. So creepy. Caroline winced as she caught sight of her reflection in the attached mirror.

  "Ugh, geez. I look like death warmed over." She fluffed her hair and bent forward to get a closer look as she licked her fingers to wipe away the smudged mascara that had streaked down her cheeks with the waterfall of tears. Once she was presentable she straightened up and smoothed her clothes.

  Caroline caught a whiff of a feminine fragrance. Strong, as if the person who wore it stood right behind her. She noticed an antique perfume bottle placed near the base of the mirror. She shook her head, ignoring the goosebumps that now covered her skin, and picked up the delicate glass bottle, turning it in her hands to inspect the intricate design. This must have once been a very expensive perfume, she thought.

  "Just a coincidence," Caroline reminded herself.

  She sniffed the bottle, but couldn't smell anything. Caroline's brow creased. Certain she'd smelled women's perfume, now she knew she was losing her mind. She sniffed it again to confirm.

  "Hmm. It must be too old to have a smell anymore. How strange."

  She carefully put it back where she'd gotten it and set her purse on the antique dressing table next to a large, ornate jewelry box that looked as old as the rest of the furniture in this room. Caroline wondered who it had once belonged to, but honestly didn't care. She'd chosen it strictly out of curiosity if nothing else. It was beautiful, and she couldn't wait to wake up in that canopy bed. It was every little girl's fantasy to have a bed like that. Hers included.

  She hesitantly left her chosen quarters to head down the stairs. The connection she felt to a room in a house she'd never stepped foot in until today was surreal. She couldn't help but feel the recurring young woman from her dreams needed her somehow. She wanted to find out everything she could about this place and her family heritage, and that room had enough character to practically speak for itself.

  Caroline suspected there was a reason she'd been having these dreams. She didn't know why, but her gut told her they were more than just dreams. A message of some sort. She wished she could find the
journal she'd stumbled upon in one of them. It had made an appearance multiple times, so it had to be a key player if, in fact, these dreams meant anything at all. She may decide to stay longer than just the weekend to play detective for a while. It might be fun.

  She'd made great progress with her father tonight, and believed they would someday have a strong relationship. For now, though, until she felt more comfortable with the whole situation, she would stick to the original plan to stay for just the weekend. She really wanted to explore the house to see if anything else familiar popped up, but she needed to pace herself.

  First, she needed to unload her car despite the rain and mud. She stopped short, taken aback when she saw all her bags neatly placed at the foot of the stairs. Eddie, Dad, had brought them all inside and was headed up the stairs with a couple as she came down. She hadn't intended to bring all of them in considering she'd only planned to stay a few days, but she didn't want to burst his bubble by telling him that now after he'd braved the downpour to fetch them. "Thanks, you didn't have to do that. I could have gotten them."

  "Don't be ridiculous, it's raining out, and I've no intentions of making you do any manual labor in this house."

  "Aww, come on now, you're gonna spoil me." She didn't object, though. She was dead on her feet after this long day and desperately wanted to wash up and sink into that fluffy bed. Caroline smiled as she carried her small toiletries bag up to the room. . .her room.

  Five