Let Love Find You

by Johanna Lindsey

  Preston laughed over her less than flattering description. “Yet he’s still from good family, and I actually like his forthright manner. He’s simply down-to-earth as many country lords are who prefer to avoid the frivolities of London. Besides, it’s your happiness that concerns me. I don’t think I’d object to any man you fell in love with, with the exception of someone mired in a scandal or an actual criminal. I would trust your heart in the matter.”

  Her heart. Which way was her heart leaning? Good Lord, shouldn’t that be obvious by now?

  Chapter Forty-One

  “HE’S ARRIVED!”

  Amanda hurried to her bedroom window to see whom Phoebe was talking about. Lord Robert was just stepping out of his coach. Not everyone would show up today, the first official day of the country gathering. But Robert’s early arrival was a good sign that he was eager to see her again.

  “He’s so dashing and handsome,” Phoebe continued, then with a sigh added, “Almost makes me wish I’d waited as you did, instead of settling on a husband last Season.”

  Amanda was shocked by her friend’s statement. “I thought you loved your Archibald.”

  “I do, of course I do, but the bloom has definitely worn off. He’s still as attentive as he’s always been, but, he stays away from home more and more now and,” she added in a whisper, “I’m glad he does.”

  “I’m so sorry, Phoebe!”

  Phoebe gave a halfhearted smile. “Don’t be silly, m’dear. It’s still a solid marriage, I suppose. I don’t really find fault with him. It’s ironic, though, that I might not have ever noticed that we’ve grown apart if Cupid’s philosophy hadn’t turned up in the gossip mill, how he puts such stock in common ground.”

  Amanda scoffed, “You just have to look at my brother’s marriage to know Cupid’s approach isn’t the only way to happiness.”

  “No, but definitely helpful. It just made me realize that my husband and I have no shared interests a’tall and never did—well, other than going to parties. We do both still enjoy that.”

  “Have you tried discussing this with Archibald? Perhaps there’s something else you might enjoy doing together that you just haven’t discovered yet?”

  “Goodness no! We rarely talk about anything of a personal nature.”

  That was just—sad. Two people who shared a bed . . . Amanda winced at the thought, remembering that Phoebe was one of her friends who’d said she and her husband had separate bedrooms. It was still sad. Husband and wife should be able to discuss anything, not be wrapped up in “proper” so extensively they carried it into marriage.

  Amanda tried to find a bright side for her friend. “It could be worse. He could be a philanderer and not even try to hide it. He could be a gambler and racing you to the poorhouse. And you know there was something there to begin with, or you never would have said yes to him. So don’t give up yet! Rediscover that bloom you two had.”

  Phoebe hugged her. “Listen to you, the maiden giving the matron advice. I haven’t given up hope, I’ve merely slipped into the comfortable part of marriage a little sooner than expected, I suppose. But you’re right, there’s no reason we can’t ignite the spark again.”

  They were still standing at the window when the next coach pulled up and Phoebe said, “Is that Lord Culley? I haven’t seen him since I was a child. I thought he’d gotten too old to socialize.”

  Amanda chuckled. “Does anyone ever get too old for that? But Owen Culley is an old friend of my aunt Esmerelda. He married one of her school chums.”

  The party wasn’t just for the younger set. Old friends of the family’s had been invited, too, which was why the guest list had become so long. But the original idea was for the two men Amanda was most interested in to be in attendance, so she’d have access to them for a whole week to make up her mind which one she preferred.

  That a third man was present whom she found even more fascinating now might just be a distraction from her goal. Especially now that she felt empathy for him, over his secret. He might not have meant to share that with her, but he did, and no matter how she looked at it, it had brought them closer, definitely friends at the very least.

  Now would be a good time to go downstairs and make Robert feel welcome, perhaps even give him a tour of the house. She was about to say so when a knock came at the door.

  Larissa poked her head around it. “So here you are.” Unfortunately, Jacinda Brown was at her heels and followed Larissa into the room. “I don’t suppose you’re sharing your room?”

  Amanda grinned. Obviously Larissa was annoyed that she would be separated from her husband for the duration. “Since I still live here, no, I claim the privilege being the daughter of the house. How many are you sharing with?”

  “Six cots are in that room, but only three have been claimed so far.”

  “It will be fun,” Phoebe put in. “It was fun when we all went to Summer’s Glade that first Season and were stuffed into a room together.”

  “We weren’t married then,” Larissa replied. “I miss my husband already!”

  Phoebe teased, “Shh, you’ll make Jacinda think there’s something to like about marriage.”

  “Oh, I know what’s to like about it,” Jacinda purred as she walked about the room examining things.

  Phoebe had been right about the chit, apparently. A remark like that couldn’t have been made unless Jacinda had had “experience.” And she didn’t care who knew it?

  The debutante shouldn’t even be in Amanda’s bedroom. Her friends might have met the girl, but Jacinda and Amanda had never even been introduced. Larissa took care of that belatedly, remembering her manners. “You’ve met Lady Brown’s daughter, Jacinda, yes?”

  Amanda didn’t try to dress it up nicely, said simply, “No, I haven’t,” then regretted that when Larissa looked embarrassed by it.

  “I’m sorry, I had no idea,” Larissa said, and made the introductions.

  Jacinda didn’t even look at Amanda, didn’t acknowledge the introduction, just said in a blatantly bored tone, “Nice house—I suppose.”

  It was a magnificent house! Amanda’s bedroom was so large she had room for a full parlor set in it, the couch and chairs finely upholstered in cream-and-lavender silk brocade, the carpet so lush it was a pleasure to walk on.

  But the lines were drawn with Jacinda’s remark. Even Amanda’s friends took offense, Larissa staring incredulously, Phoebe starting to frown. Why had Jacinda even tagged along with Larissa if she had no intention of being friendly? Then it became apparent why she had intruded. She’d let all the other young debutantes know whom she’d staked a claim on. She hadn’t yet made that clear to Amanda.

  “I saw Devin downstairs,” Jacinda said casually. “I heard you’re actually taking riding lessons from him. You naughty girl, to pretend not to know how to ride. I should have thought of that!”

  Amanda blanched, but not for the reason anyone thought. Her friends actually assumed the same thing that Jacinda did, that she’d used riding lessons as an excuse to spend time with him, but unlike Jacinda, they were excited for her.

  “Why didn’t you say you liked him, Mandy?” Larissa said in delight.

  “A brute, eh?” Phoebe laughed over the last thing Amanda had said about him.

  Rather than admit the truth, Amanda replied evasively, “Lessons were an impulsive idea. I was simply curious about him at the start.” But when she caught the glare Jacinda briefly revealed, she added, “But I confess, I do find him fascinating.” Good grief, was that really jealousy sneaking up on her again?

  “He does relieve the tedium, doesn’t he?” Jacinda purred in such a way that she was implying they’d been intimate! “I certainly wouldn’t waste a whole week of my time here if he weren’t in attendance.”

  “I think your time is wasted no matter where you are, and everyone else’s because of it,” Phoebe said angrily, and marched out of the room.

  Larissa, aghast over such rudeness, grabbed Jacinda’s arm to drag her out of the ro
om, saying on the way out, “I had no idea, Mandy. Forgive me for subjecting you to such a vicious cat.”

  “It’s not your fault!” Amanda tried to assure her friend.

  But the door had already closed and she whirled about to let out a hiss of exasperation. She wished she had actually had a look at Ophelia’s guest list so she could have scratched that name off it. How the deuce did Jacinda Brown find out about her riding lessons? But she knew. The girl must have been at Devin’s farm for a lovers’ tryst and had to wait while he finished one of those riding lessons. Now she had to worry that it was making the rounds. Kendall might even hear of it!

  Chapter Forty-Two

  IT WASN’T A GOOD time for Jacinda Brown to be rubbing her voluptuous body against him. Under the pretext of bumping into him in the corridor? Devin set her away from him so fast her head jerked back. He did need a woman. Amanda had aroused his desire the other day, so much so that two days later he still couldn’t stop thinking of how much he wanted to make love to her, even though that was impossible. She made him feel like a boy again with no control. And that made no sense. They’d merely kissed!

  But while he definitely needed a woman right now, it wasn’t going to be a promiscuous debutante who alluded to being more sophisticated than her age allowed. Unfortunately, he and Jacinda had been given rooms in the same wing of the house, and this wasn’t the first time she’d appeared when he was on his way to his room. He was beginning to think she was lying in wait for him. Actually, he was sure of it.

  He’d known from the day he’d met her when she and her mother had brought their dog to his aunt that Jacinda found him to her liking. She flirted too boldly, told him by look and the sensual movements of her body that she was available. But it wasn’t until last night that she’d got verbal about it.

  Passing him in the corridor then, too, she’d trailed her hand down his arm and whispered, “Country gatherings are made for trysts. There’s all sorts of places here we could sneak off to and not be missed.”

  He’d walked on as if he hadn’t heard her. Now here she was again, giving him a pretty pout for ending the contact she’d instigated so abruptly. He started to step around her, but she moved to block him again.

  “You know you want me.” She reached up to caress his cheek.

  He caught her hand and moved it away from him before he let go. “You’re looking for a husband, I’m not looking for a wife. Do us both a favor and set your sights elsewhere.”

  She turned on a sultry look. “That doesn’t mean we can’t have fun in the meantime, does it?”

  He answered bluntly, “It means, back off, it’s not happening between us.”

  A little angry, she said snippily, “What the devil is wrong with you? You’re the first man I’ve ever met who wouldn’t take what’s being freely given.”

  “And you say that from experience?”

  “I—”

  He laughed derisively when she didn’t finish. “Maybe that’s the problem? Maybe I don’t want what’s given so easily? Or do you think I can’t see the strings attached?”

  She recovered and tried to laugh that off. “Don’t be silly, Devin. If you don’t want to marry me, fine, but I’d still like a taste—”

  She was still persisting? He had no patience for spoiled chits who wanted to play with fire, but this one had picked the wrong time to throw herself at him when he was already a powder keg of unspent passions. Amazingly his voice was only cold when he cut in, “Stop making a nuisance of yourself. Or do I need to have a word with your mother about your loose morals?”

  She stepped aside immediately and even raised her hands in surrender. “Don’t do that! If you truly don’t want to have a little fun with me, I’ll—I’ll look elsewhere.”

  He walked on, satisfied that he’d frightened her enough for her to stop pursuing him. As flattering as that was, he wasn’t stupid. You did not make love to a debutante unless you were willing to marry her.

  Ironically, though, when he returned downstairs after changing out of his riding clothes, the son of the house cornered him for nearly the same subject. Raphael joined him at the back of the music room, plate in hand. There would be no sit-down meals with this many guests. A few chairs were still empty in this less crowded room, but Devin was still in an explosive mood, so he ignored them. Damned passions. Racing his stallion to Norford Town and back several times this afternoon hadn’t eased his turmoil, and that run-in with Jacinda had just made it worse.

  At least Raphael didn’t jump immediately into what was on his mind. He thanked Devin once more for his part in Ophelia’s birthday gift, which had been presented yesterday, then got personal.

  “What are your intentions toward my sister?”

  “As I told you the last time you broached that subject, I don’t have any.”

  “Why not?” Raphael asked curiously. “She’s a prime catch, beautiful, talks a little too much, but that’s easily fixed, and she seems to like you.”

  Devin laughed. “The last time we discussed her, I believe you were telling me to stay the hell away from her.”

  Raphael’s look turned a little abashed. “That was then. We didn’t know you yet. That was before you took it upon yourself to help her win another man, proving yourself selfless. You don’t like her?”

  Devin couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with her brother. “It’s not a matter of whether I like her. I think she can do better’n me.”

  “True or not, we just want her to be happy. You might keep that in mind.”

  Bloody hell, did her brother just give his permission for Devin to court Amanda?

  Raphael walked away. Devin needed a drink. Actually, getting foxed wasn’t a bad idea.

  But on his way to find where the refreshment table had been set up for the evening, he saw his customer and friend Lord Culley and headed straight for him instead. After that run-in with Lawrence Wolseley in London, which had left him no outlet for his rage now that Wolseley had convinced him that he wasn’t his father, it had sunk in that he might never know who his real father is—or was. But he was still unwilling to accept that he would never know his father’s identity. And thanks to Lawrence, he might not have to.

  Lawrence had given him a few clues about his father. Golden-brown eyes, more golden than brown, weren’t all that common. Lawrence had also said his father had dark hair and was over six feet in height. He just had to ask around among the older set if anyone might remember someone of that description, which was why he’d spent all day at the racetrack on Saturday. But while a half dozen older lords had been there that day, only one had said he recalled another man with eyes like Devin’s, but it had been so long ago, he couldn’t remember the man’s name.

  Culley was probably too old to remember, too. The man had to be in his seventies. But Devin still had to give it a try. And the old lord had mentioned that he and his wife used to entertain in London in the early years of their marriage, right up until she died and he retired to the country.

  When Devin joined the old fellow, they naturally spoke of horses first. “Is that new team working out for you?” Devin asked.

  “Did you have any doubt? Nice steady ride. My bones appreciate it, and my driver is still in awe. He’s not used to such well-trained horses.”

  They both laughed, but after a few more pleasantries, Devin broached what was on his mind, using the same excuse he’d used at the racetrack a few days ago. “My uncle was reminiscing about family recently and mentioned an old branch of ours that I didn’t know about. I’m curious now as to whether some long-lost cousins from that branch are still alive.”

  “More Baldwins?” Owen asked. “Can’t say that I know any others.”

  “No, and that’s the problem. A Baldwin daughter married and moved away from London, then the family lost touch with her. The only piece of information that was passed down was that she had golden-brown eyes like mine and black hair. So little to go by, I know, and yet, it’s not a common eye color.�
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  Owen frowned and cautioned, “You might want to be careful how you go about this search. If you say you’re looking for distant family members, you might attract undesirables who could lie about a connection just to take advantage of you.”

  Devin almost winced. Since he’d just lied, he felt guilty now. Here was Owen expressing concern that Devin protect himself from unscrupulous individuals. But since there was no lost branch in the family, he didn’t actually need to worry about that.

  “A good point,” Devin agreed, “but now that I’ve mentioned it, do you know of any other men with eyes like mine?”

  Owen chuckled. “Frankly, the color of men’s eyes isn’t something I’ve ever paid much attention to. A woman’s eyes, yes, and I can think of at least two who had light brown eyes, just not as bright as yours, but they could also trace their family trees back for centuries, so I highly doubt they can help you.”

  Devin nodded his agreement. As much as he hated the thought of even saying her name, he was going to have to modify his story and bring his mother into it and confine his inquiries to the year she came to London and met that womanizing bastard who seduced her. But it was too late to mention her to Lord Owen, after using that “family branch” story with him.

  His mother had to have met many people the year she arrived in London for her come-out, people her age who would be middle-aged now. She would have needed a sponsor and a chaperone, and whoever they were, they were likely to have seen her with the golden-eyed man who’d been trying to seduce her.

  Bloody hell, his uncle would have those names for him. He’d never asked because he’d been so sure all this time that Wolseley had been his father. But broaching the subject with Donald would have to wait until he returned to London. In the meantime, other middle-aged couples were visiting Norford Hall.